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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2005 8 June :: 9.54 pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: armor for sleep - awkward last words

i figured i should do an update where i actually write something. so what should i talk about? two days of class left, followed by two days of exams. i got the shit kicked out of me twice, which sucked. i've learned to keep my mouth shut, not say how i feel or to feel anything, things go better this way. i've learned am i incapable of doing pretty much anything correct. i have found that people find value in my ability to play music, which i think is non-existant in myself. i am still contining to try to find a cure to my insomnia that has set in, two weeks so far. hopefully i figure out a cure. i started reading Dante's Inferno, which is pretty good, but rather difficult to read. i started to teach myself formal latin, instead of the broken late latin that i know. i have been listening to a lot of armor for sleep, hellogoodbye and explosions in the sky. sad thing is that some of the songs upset me, it sucks.



experientia docet

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2005 7 June :: 10.22 pm

Car Underwater
Believe the news, I'm gone for good.
Call off the search, no one will know that I'm down here
Believe the note I left for you
You can't turn back the clocks, you can't pull me up from here so don't try

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

Make time slower, give me longer.
It's too late for me, no one will know that I'm down here.
believe your dreams of me sinking
so far, below, you can't pull me up from here so don't try.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

Leave it up to me. to burden you again.
This ones not your fault. Please forgive me.

Leave it up to me. to burden you again.
This ones not your fault. so forget, so forget, so forget me.

Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
just let me go.
don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
just let me go.
don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.
Don't think back, don't think back of me at all.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this
I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

and I would still die for you
I would still die for you
and I would still die for you
I would still die for you
and I would still die for you...

first breath after coma


:: 2005 4 June :: 9.58 pm

modern american poetry
i can't find the words to tell you
how far down it was when i fell for you
part of me wants this to end soon and part of me just won't agree.
and i frame these thoughts in my mind now
coming back from a long seven hour drive back to this old house
passing endless road signs, and white lines
thinking and driving tends to hypnotize and sometimes blind me.

i can't find the words to tell you
how far down it was when i fell for you
part of me wants this to end soon and part of me just won't agree.

and i sit with my back to the wall once again
thinking about you and what you said once again
passing endless road signs, and white lines
thinking and driving tends to hypnotize and sometimes blind me.
i can't find the words to tell you
how far down it was when i fell for you
part of me wants this to end soon and part of me just won't agree.

(in such a busy world, your smile reminds me that i'll be alright)

(in such a busy world, your smile reminds me that i'll be alright)

can't you see i'm finally coming clean?
and that it makes me wanna go insane?

1 breath | first breath after coma


:: 2005 29 May :: 11.14 am

Figures A And B (Means You And Me)
Present for a presentation presented presently
Theres no i in team no me in us no you in we
I'll write down letters inside letters but i cant let her see
Pass them forward with a foreword they wont mean a thing

Treasure torn out paper from the corner of a page
Measure worn out epigrams for signs of change with age
Figure out that figuratives mark figure a and b
Images i imagened with pretty imagery (means you and me)

(you and me) we could be made for this
(just wait and see) we might be made for this

Its so far away but ive planned a date
And thats at least a start to get inside your heart
It might be you and me oh we could be a team
It might be you and me oh just wait and see

(you and me) we could be made for this
(just wait and see) we might be made for this

first breath after coma


:: 2005 27 May :: 11.27 pm

These words of mine are not what you want to hear.
If maybe I hadn't told you how I feel there would be nothing to fear.
But I made the mistake of not keeping my mouth shut
and you never really like me from the start.
I can't take back the things I said and how I feel about you
but i don't think I would even if I could.

I don't see how someone caring about you scares you, but okay, all right.
I'll sleep without you in my dreams tonight.

Tomorrow brings new light, and pictures of your shinning green eyes.

"To the most beautiful girl I know: Oh how I would have loved you so."

Five steps forward and three steps back doesn't get me any closer or any further from you.
I just wish it could be just us two

Sleep alone.

I missed you so (insert name here)

first breath after coma


:: 2005 26 May :: 10.58 pm

Bonnie Taylor Shakedown... 2K1
Visit you at baskin robins all the time
To let you know that i am yours and you are mine
So we can take long walks through central park
And hold each others hands to fight the dark


So you know you're never on your own
So you know you're never on your own


My bonnie lies over the ocean
My bonnie lies over sea
And every night at 2 am
I wonder why can't she lie close to me.

I hope you listen to me every night before you go to sleep
And know that someone in HB is thinking of you
, Bonnie

Remember all the time you let me walk you to class
And you would kiss my cheek and i'd never have to ask
You're going away in late september
But here's a thanks for a summer i'll always remember.

So you know you're never on your own
So you know you're never on your own


My bonnie lies over the ocean
My bonnie lies over sea
And every night at 2 am
I wonder why can't she lie close to me

first breath after coma

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