jes
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2012 13 March :: 7.12pm
I hate feeling like you've supported people though out their life and circumstances but when you face your own, they have no thoughts other than about themselves.
Love
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jes
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2012 6 March :: 9.29pm
:: Mood: crushed
My heart is aching for you!
"Daddy please don't look so sad,momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"
Love
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jes
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2012 26 February :: 9.29am
:: Mood: annoyed
So insensitive. Feels like salt is being shoved into my wounds.
Love
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jes
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2012 24 February :: 8.56am
ughhhhhh shut up!
Love
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jes
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2012 23 February :: 5.06pm
It was confirmed today that we lost our baby. Today is a very sad and heart breaking day for Ryan and I. We heal/deal in entirely different ways, which is hard to make sure we're both feeling like we're "coping" and supporting one another, but we're getting through it as best as we know how.
I feel very alone, even though I know I'm not. I don't want to be around people, but yet, I hate feeling alone. I just for myself, to think about and deal with everything, need some worship music, ryan and landon, and time alone.
I really wish people would stop saying, "It's for the best", THE best would have been for me to have my baby, and just because they might not of been healthy doesn't mean I wanted him/her any less, because I STILL want my baby. I know people don't know what to say, and are only trying to help, but it just makes me feel worse. Vacation and leaving the country couldn't have come at any better of a time.
Love
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jes
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2012 22 February :: 10.58pm
Tomorrow we find out if God decided to answer our prayers, or if it's time to start healing and move on. I'm so back and forth on how I feel. Because I just don't know what's happened. So one minute I'm sad, and pissed off at the world. Then the next, I'm hopeful, praying, even moments where all feels "normal" again, and then they quickly pass. I just feel like this is all still a bad dream, that I just can't wake up from, it feels never ending! I just don't know how this could have happened, why did this happen, how am I EVER suppose to be ok with this? How will I ever make peace with the Lord giving and taking away?? How can I face other people??
Love
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moomoo
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2012 19 February :: 11.31pm
}ust when you give up something great comes along :)
4 <3 |
Love
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moomoo
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2012 12 February :: 7.54pm
Reading my woohu journal shows me how much I have grown as a person. Funny how much my friend group has changed. I guess were all growing up differently some good and some bad. I will always remember the good times though. So excited for what this year will bring.
Love
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moomoo
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2012 10 February :: 9.26pm
Can not believe I'm graduating in may, so excited. Loving my new puppy. Still haven't had a drink since new years, feels great. Things are defintely looking up this year.
2 <3 |
Love
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jordanmackenzie7
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2011 16 December :: 9.19pm
Isn't it rather amazing how one bad day ruins the several good days leading up to it? I find it fascinating that one person, who treated me well for the better part of two weeks, can completely ruin the memories of the good days in one foul swoop.
Does this ever happen to you? Or am I that negative where I only focus on the bad?
2 <3 |
Love
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