Life Is An Ever Changing Road

"She was who she once was, but not as I had known her."

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Life Is An Ever Changing Road

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:: 2024 8 May :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Nathaniel Rateliff- SOB

Son of a bitch/ If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away

I'm gonna need someone to help me
I'm gonna need somebody's hand
I'm gonna need someone to hold me down
I'm gonna need someone to care
I'm gonna writhe and shake my body
I'll start pulling out my hair
I'm gonna cover myself with the ashes of you
And nobody's gonna give a damn!!!

Son of a bitch, give me a drink
One more night
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away

Now for seventeen years I've been throwing them back
Seventeen more will bury me
And somebody please just tie me down
Or somebody get me a goddamn drink

Son of a bitch, give me a drink!
One more night
This can't be me
Son of a bitch!
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Hey! Hey!

My heart is breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me!
My heart is breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was aching, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was aching, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me

Son of a bitch, give me a drink
One more night
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Son of a bitch, give me a drink
Son of a bitch
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Yeah ah

:: 2024 24 April :: 7.31pm
:: Music: AJR- inertia

I wanna be big like my plans/ So why am I so tiny, and why am I so mad?
I've worn the same skinny jeans
Since I was 15, it's probably nothing
(Inertia) my friends say they're quitting this week
To chase down their dreams, they're probably bluffing, but
Don't you like it bigger, better?
But you do what you can (do what you can)
Don't you like it a little better
When you don't understand? (Don't understand)
I was gonna save the planet, but today I got plans
I guess this is just what I am
I'm an object in motion, I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken, but look at me dance (dance)
An object in motion, don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am (oh, man)
Oh-ah, oh-ah
Where I am going is right where I am
you said you'd break up with her
But she met your family, and dating's the worst, yeah
(Inertia) now, you're not in love anymore
But you'll stick it out for, like, 20 years more, saying
don't you like it bigger, better?
But you do what you can (do what you can)
Don't you like it a little better
When you don't understand? (Don't understand)
I was gonna save the planet, but today I got plans
I guess this is just what I am
I'm an object in motion, I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken, but look at me dance (dance)
An object in motion, don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am (oh, man)
Oh-ah, oh-ah
Where I am going is right where I am (oh, man)
Oh-ah, oh-ah
Where I am going is right where I am
I wanna move out of this town
But everyone knows me and packing is tiring
(Inertia) I said I would start working out
But I'm f- hungry, and screw you, I'm trying
I wanna be big like my plans
So why am I so tiny, and why am I so mad?
It's inertia, guess this is just what I am
I'm stuck in this life, and I'm stuck in these pants
I'm an object in motion, I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken, but look at me dance (look at me dance)
An object in motion, don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am (oh, man)
don't you like it bigger, better?
But (oh-ah) you do what you can
Where I am going is right where I am (right where I am)
(Oh-ah) don't you like it bigger, better?
But (oh-ah) you do what you can
Where I am going is right where I am
Oh, inertia

:: 2024 14 March :: 11.21pm
:: Music: Noah kahan, homesick (better version)

Time moves so damn slow I swear I feel my organs failing
Two months since you got back
How have you been and are you bored yet?
The weather ain't been bad
If you're into masochistic bullshit
And every photograph
That's taken here is from the summer
Some guy won Olympic gold
Eight years ago, a distance runner
And that makes a lot of sense
This place is such great motivation
For anyone trying to move
The fuck away from hibernation, yoo-hoo
Well, I'm tired of dirt roads
Named after high school friends' grandfathers
And motherfuckers here still don't know they caught
The Boston bombers
Time moves so damn slow
I swear I feel my organs failing
I stopped caring 'bout a month ago
Since then, it's been smooth sailing
I would leave if only I could find a reason
I'm mean because I grew up in New England
I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them
Spend the rest of my life with what could have been
And I will die in the house that I grew up in
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh
I would leave if only I could find a reason
I'm mean because I grew up in New England
I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them
Spend the rest of my life with what could have been
And I will die in the house that I grew up in
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick

:: 2024 12 February :: 10.52pm
:: Music: Noah Kahan & Sam fender- homesick

I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them
Two months since you got back, how have you been and are you bored yet?
The weather ain't been bad if you're into masochistic bullshit
And every photograph that's taken here is from the summer
Some guy won Olympic gold eight years ago, a distance runner
And that makes a lot of sense, this place is such great motivation
For anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation

Yoo-hoo
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Oh, no

Well, I grew up in the fallout from the riots in the nineties
Static cranes stand lifeless, casting shadows on the town
I stare out that hallowed ocean as if to pick a fight
For the dreams my old man dreamt for me, lay on the other side, yeah

I would leave if only I could find a reason
I'm mean because I grew up in New England
I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them
Spendin' the rest of my life with what could have been
And I will die in the house that I grew up in

I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

I would leave if only I could find a reason
I'm mean because I grew up in New England
I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them
Spendin' the rest of my life with what could have been
And I will die in the house that I grew up in

I'm homesick
I'm homesick
I'm homesick

I'm homesick
Home
Homem

:: 2023 1 December :: 8.45pm
:: Music: Olivia rodrigo- all American bitch

And I am built like a mother and a total machine
I am light as a feather, I'm as stiff as a board
I pay attention to things that most people ignore
And I'm alright with the movies
That make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty, that's for sure
And I am built like a mother and a total machine
I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean
And I make light of the darkness
I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket, best believe
Yeah, you know me, I

Forgive, and I forget
I know my age, and I act like it
Got what you can't resist
I'm a perfect all-American

I am light as a feather, I'm as fresh as the air
Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair
I got class and integrity
Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear
With love to spare, I

Forgive, and I forget
I know my age, and I act like it
Got what you can't resist
I'm a perfect all-American bitch
With perfect all-American lips
And perfect all-American hips
I know my place
I know my place, and this is it

I don't get angry when I'm pissed
I'm the eternal optimist
I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"
Like, "Ah" (Oh my fucking God)

All the time
I'm grateful all the time
I'm sexy, and I'm kind
I'm pretty when I cry
Oh, all the time
I'm grateful all the time (Grateful all the fucking time)
I'm sexy, and I'm kind
I'm pretty when I cry

:: 2023 22 September :: 9.22pm
:: Music: Queen- I want to break free

I want to break free from your lies/ You're so self-satisfied, I don't need you
I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self-satisfied, I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free

I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love

It's strange but it's true, yeah
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh, how I want to be free, baby
Oh, how I want to be free
Oh, how I want to break free

But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without, living without
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone, hey
God knows, got to make it on my own
So baby, can't you see?
I've got to break free

I've got to break free
I want to break free, yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free

:: 2023 24 June :: 10.03pm
:: Music: Taylor swift- you need to calm down

Mom, I am a rich man.

:: 2023 24 June :: 9.59pm
:: Music: Fall out boy- this ain't a scene it's an arms race

At night we're painting your trash gold, while you sleep/ Crashing not like hips or cars/ No, more like p-p-parties

I am an arms dealer
Fitting you with weapons in the form of words
And don't really care which side wins
Long as the room keeps singing
That's just the business I'm in
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate yeah
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate yeah
I wrote the gospel on giving up (you look pretty sinking)
But the real bombshells have already sunk (prima donnas of the gutter)
At night we're painting your trash gold, while you sleep
Crashing not like hips or cars
No, more like p-p-parties
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
Bandwagon's full, please catch another
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate yeah
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate yeah, whoa oh oh oh whoa oh
All the boys who the dance floor didn't love
And all the girls whose lips couldn't move fast enough
Sing, until your lungs give out
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race (now you)
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race (wear out the groove)
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race (sing out loud)
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race (oh, oh)
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate yeah
I'm a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate
Oh so intricate

:: 2023 11 June :: 8.19pm
:: Music: Panic! At the disco/ viva Las vengeance

I don't want to be anonymous/ but I don't want to be you...
hut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Shut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Hacking at my feed, act like you are me
No one really cares (really cares)
Nothing's really real, no one really feels
Nothing to declare (to declare)
I don't wanna be anonymous
But, I don't wanna be you
In a city full of promises
Nothing rings true
Shut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Shut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Giving up the key to paint a masterpiece
What am I doing here?
Stuck here in the weeds
On a road that leads
To nowhere, to nowhere, to nowhere, to nowhere
To nowhere, to nowhere, to nowhere, to nowhere
Shut up and go to bed
Viva Las Vengeance
Shut up and go to bed
Viva Las Vengeance
Shut up and go to bed
Viva Las Vengeance
Shut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Shut up and go to bed
She said, "Viva Las Vengeance"
Every moment is a replay
I'm being buried alive
Didn't wanna kill the DJ
But it can't hurt to try

:: 2023 21 April :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Panic! At the disco- this is gospel

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive/ 'Cause I won't give up without a fight
This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

This is gospel for the vagabonds
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors

This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

The fear of falling apart
The fear, the fear of falling apart

(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
(This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

:: 2023 20 April :: 11.19pm
:: Music: Bleachers- I wanna get better

I miss the days of a life still permanent
Hey, I hear the voice of a preacher from the back room
Calling my name and I follow just to find you
I trace the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather
And I've trained myself to give up on the past 'cause
I frozen time between hearses and caskets
Lost control when i panicked at the acid test

I wanna get better

While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars

Hey, I wanna get better!

I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

I go up to my room and there's girls on the ceiling
Cut out their pictures and I chase that feeling
Of an eighteen year old who didn't know what loss was

Now I'm a stranger

And I miss the days of a life still permanent
Mourn the years before I got carried away
So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself

Hey, I wanna get better!

I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi
I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Even if it's gonna kill me

Woke up this morning early before my family
From this dream where she was trying to show me
How a life can move from the darkness
She said to get better
So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet
And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away
That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better

:: 2023 18 March :: 10.22pm
:: Music: Fall Out Boy- love from the other side

We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah No matter what it takes But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Model house life meltdown
Still a modern dream let down
It kills me, you know I'm dying out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
We were a hammer to the statue of David
We were a painting you could never frame and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
This city always hangs a little bit lonely on me
Loose, like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Generation sleep, I'm falling in and out of love
I'm getting that tilted feeling out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
Nowhere left for us to go but heaven
Summer falling through our fingers again and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah
No matter what it takes
But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
I saw you in a bright clear field
Hurricane heat in my head
The kind of pain you feel to get good in the end
Good in the end
Inscribed like stone and faded by the rain
"Give up what you love"
"Give up what you love, before it does you in"
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Sending my love
Sending my love

:: 2023 24 January :: 11.08pm
:: Music: Steve Aoki- Pretender

I'm just like you/ I'm a good pretender...
I'm a good pretender
Won't you come see my show?
Won't you come see my show?
I've got lots of problems
Well, good thing nobody knows
Good thing nobody knows
Oh, I'm insecure, I'm insecure
I think I like what I'm supposed to
Like what I'm supposed to
I don't even mess with drugs
I do that 'cause you say it's dope to
You say it is dope to
I'm a good pretender
I'm not really cool
I'm a good pretender
'Cause I'm just like you
I do not belong here
You all clearly do
But I'm a good pretender
So I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender
I'm a good pretender
Steve Aoki
Lil' Boat
I look happy in every picture
Just so you'd think I am
I never say no to pictures
'Cause that's just the person I am
In high school, I was tryna figure myself out
I was tryna be just like him (okay)
Tryna do things I don't usually do (why?)
I'm pretending to be too cool
I wish my mother had more sons
I wish my friends were my brothers
I wish my ex-girlfriend didn't cheat, she pretended to be my lover
In front of the camera screen
I make it look just like a movie scene
Diamonds on my hand, call me Lord of the Rings
Still insecure behind the scenes, though
Oh, I'm insecure, I'm insecure
I think I like what I'm supposed to
Like what I'm supposed to
I don't even mess with drugs
I do that 'cause you say it's dope to
You say it is dope to
I'm a good pretender
I'm not really cool (okay)
I'm a good pretender (yah)
'Cause I'm just like you (you)
I do not belong here (no)
You all clearly do
But I'm a good pretender
'Cause I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender
I'm a good pretender
I'm just like you, do you like me too?
Now I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender

:: 2023 19 January :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Green Day- Waiting

Oh, so close enough to taste it/ Almost, I can embrace this/ Feeling on the tip of my tongue
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come, I'm
Destined for anything at all
Downtown, lights will be shining
On me, like in a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
Well, no one can touch me now, well
And I can't turn my back, it's
Too late, ready or not at all
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
Dawning of a new era calling
Don't let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
Oh, so close enough to taste it
Almost, I can embrace this
Feeling on the tip of my tongue
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
Better thank your lucky stars
Say, hey, hey
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
You better thank your lucky stars
Say, hey, hey!
I've been waiting a lifetime
For this moment to come, I'm
Destined for anything at all
Dumbstruck, color me stupid
Good luck, you're gonna need it
Where I'm going, if I get there at all
Wake up!
And better thank your lucky stars

:: 2023 2 January :: 11.50pm
:: Music: Sia- Chandelier

I'm gonna live like tomorrow don't exist
Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn?
I push it down, I push it down
I'm the one for a "good time call"
Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
Throw 'em back 'til I lose count
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night
Feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
But I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
Sun is up, I'm a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame (ah)
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
Throw 'em back 'til I lose count
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night
Feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
But I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight

:: 2022 11 November :: 10.56pm

If the stars were edible
And our hearts were never full
Could we live with just a taste?
Just a taste...

:: 2022 26 October :: 9.01pm
:: Music: AJR- Karma

You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?/ The universe works in mysterious ways/ But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Why, are you asking me why?
My days and nights are filled with disappointment
Fine, oh no, everything's fine
I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
What, am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right, I've done everything right
So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience
'Cause I've been so good, I've been working my ass off
I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
And I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
I've been so good this year
I've been so good this year
Time, I know we're out of time
But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it
Bye, I don't wanna say bye
If only I could keep you in my pocket
To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow
Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow
I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow
But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though?
I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted
But after an hour it sounds like complaining
Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever?
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?
The universe works in mysterious ways
But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
Doctor, should I be good?
Should I be good this year?

4 laughs | smile

:: 2022 1 July :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: AJR- World's Smallest Violin

Now come in with the timpanis/ And take a shot of Hennessy/ I know I'm not there mentally/ But you could be the remedy
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
I can't even finish school
Missed my mom and left too soon
His dad was a fireman
Who fought fires so violent
I think I bored my therapist
While playing him my violin
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
My grandpa fought in World War II
And he was such a noble dude
Man I feel like such a fool
I got so much left to prove
All my friends have vaping friends
They're so good at making friеnds
I'm so scared of caving in
Is that entertaining yеt?
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
Somewhere in the universe
Somewhere someone's got it worse
Wish that made it easier
Wish I didn't feel the hurt
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
All up and down a city street
While tryna put my mind at ease
Like finishing this melody
This feels like a necessity
So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me
Now come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for you

:: 2021 17 November :: 10.57pm
:: Music: AJR and Daisy the Great- Record Player

Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is/ Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive.
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in an elevator, it's goin' down, down, down
I spent forever with my feet on the ground
But not now (not now)
'Cause I don't wanna do the wrong thing
Guess I gotta go and get famous for doin' nothing
Da-da-da-da-da
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Da-da-da-da-da
Stay a while, stay a while
Da-da-da-da-da
Am I holdin' for applause?
Is it gone? Is this on?
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in the simulator, I'm doin' a-okay
But every day is just rewind and replay
Not today
I'll head out to Monterey
Throw my phone into the waves
Can you see it in my eyes? Am I finally awake?
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Stay a while, stay a while
I think the best is yet to come
So drink up and good luck
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees

:: 2021 15 October :: 3.46pm
:: Music: Olivia Rodrigo- brutal

They say these are the golden years/ But I wish I could disappear/ Ego crush is so severe/ God, it's brutal out here...
I want it to be, like, messy
I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I, if not exploited?
And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah!)
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck
'Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool and I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah! Just having a really good time)
Got a broken ego, broken heart
(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)
And God, I don't even know where to start

:: 2021 10 September :: 9.45pm
:: Music: The Killers- All The Things That I've Done

I am so much older than I can take...
When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I want to stand up, I want to let go
You know, you know, no you don't, you don't
I want to shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out, yeah
You know you got to help me out, yeah
Oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

(Time, truth and hearts)
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
Oh don't you put me on the backburner
You're gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
(Time, truth and hearts)
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

:: 2021 26 August :: 11.00pm
:: Music: Lizzo ft Cardi B- Rumors

If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out/ Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch...
They don't know I do it for the culture, goddamn
They say I should watch the shit I post, oh, goddamn
Say I'm turnin' big girls into hoes, oh, goddamn
They say I get groupies at my shows, oh, goddamn

All the rumors are true, yeah
What ya heard, that's true, yeah
I fuck him and you, yeah
If you believe I do that
Had to cut some hoes loose, yeah
NDA, no loose lips
Now them hoes tryna sue me
Bitch, I don't give two shits
All the rumors are true, yeah
I've been in the bamboo, yeah
Focused on this music
My ex, he blew it
Last year, I thought I would losе it
Readin' shit on the internеt
My smoothie cleanse and my diet
No, I ain't fuck Drake yet (Ha)

Spendin' all your time tryna break a woman down
Realer shit is goin' on, baby, take a look around
If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out
Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch

(Talkin', talkin', talkin')
Give 'em somethin' to talk about
Sick of rumors (Ooh)
But haters do what they do (Uh)
Haters do what they do

All the rumors are true, yeah
Fake ass, fake boobs, yeah
Made a million at Sue's, yeah
Y'all be runnin' with fake news, yeah
Cardi ain't poppin', no, that's a machine (Huh?)
Nobody listen, they buyin' them streams (Hmm)
They even post it on blogs overseas
And lie in a language I can't even read
The fuck do this mean?
Look, I'm a Bronx bitch with some pop hits
Used to pop off when they pop shit (Woo)
But I'm calmed down and I'm locked in
And my records live in the top ten
Lizzo, teach me about big girl coochie (Okay)
Last time I got freaky, the FCC sued me
But I'ma keep doin' what I wanna do
'Cause all the rumors are
All the rumors are true, yeah

They hated on me since school, yeah
I never thought I was cool, yeah
Now me and Cardi, we cool, yeah
I love hoes on poles, yeah (Woo)
I am body goals, yeah
This shit from my soul, yeah
Black people made rock and roll, yeah

Why you spendin' all your time tryna break a woman down?
Realer shit is goin' on, baby, take a look around
If you thought that I was ratchet with my ass hangin' out
Just wait until the summer when they let me out the house, bitch

What they say? (Yeah)
What they say? (Yeah)
(Talkin', talkin', talkin')
Give 'em somethin' to talk about
Sick of rumors (Ooh)
But haters do what they do
Haters do what they do

All the rumors are true
Rumors, yeah (Yeah)
Sheesh

:: 2021 13 August :: 2.49pm
:: Music: Eric Hutchinson- Rock and Roll

And in a wink they're on the brink/ From drink to drink and at the bar with cash to blow/ Shot to shot it's getting hot/ Advance the plot to see how far it's gonna go...
He's been waiting around for the weekend
Figuring which club to sneak in
Fancy drinks and fifty dollar cover charge
Lately it's been a big hassle

Heineken and new castle
To make sure he's fitting in and living large
Disregard the lies that he will tell and what he's probably like
'Cause it's not hard his charm is gonna get him through the night

If he wants to rock he rocks
If he wants to roll he rolls
He can roll with the punches long as he feels like he's in control
If he wants to stay he stays
If he wants to go he goes
He doesn't care how he gets there long as he gets somewhere he knows

See her heavy makeup and cut t-shirt
Every girl out wants to be her
But they look the same already why adjust
Reading the magazine secrets
Forgetting the topical regrets
'Cause if she comes home all alone the night's a bust
It's a must the swivel in her hips and the look she gives
It's all her trust if only in the morning she knew where she lived

If she wants to rock she rocks
If she wants to roll she rolls
She can roll with the punches long as she feels like she's in control
If she wants to stay she stays
If she wants to go she goes
She doesn't care how she gets there long as she gets somewhere she knows

And in a wink they're on the brink
From drink to drink and at the bar with cash to blow
Shot to shot it's getting hot
Advance the plot to see how far it's gonna go

All depends so ditch the friends and grab a cab
Another chance at cheap romance
Doesn't count 'cause the room is spinning
Nothing to lose tonight they both are winning
And they fall in love as they fall in bed

If they want to rock they rocks
If they want to roll they rolls
They can roll with the punches long as they feels like they're in control
If they want to stay they stay
If they want to go they go
They don't care how they get there long as they get somewhere they know

:: 2021 16 April :: 11.24pm

How do you help yourself when you feel all of the feelings and anxiety of everything around you so deeply.

:: 2021 1 March :: 10.17pm
:: Music: Blues Traveler- Hook

"I wanna bust all your balloons/ I wanna burn all your cities to the ground..."
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hoooooook
On that you can rely

:: 2021 9 February :: 10.53pm
:: Music: Dominic Fike- Phone Numbers

Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth/ (And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you...
Can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Woah, Kenny!
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Yes I flew my shorty from Florida to Hollywood
Thought some gold shit looked big on me
Got some goals, it's a list on me
Yeah lil' bitch, I'm rich, I fuckin' roll you
This strippers and the stroll playin' tricks on me
The stones hittin' different
You're supposed to be pissed at me (No!)
They from Tiffany (Please)
Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth
(And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you
(I ain't answer my phone in so long)
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Can you break bread with me?
And yes I moved lil' shawty from 'round me
She been all in my business as of late
I got rich so goddamn fast, they want this bread, can't catch a break
And yes I know you're tired of hatin'
I'm tired of staring at your face
And if a bitch retaliate we can go tit for tat today
That's on my momma, that's on Big Sean, that's on Lil' A from FLA
Out here in L.A. trying to make shit shake, tryna wrap this case, ho
That's a whole 120k to the magistrate, for my parent's sake
And you still talking about sharing cake
Shut the fuck up
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me (Okay)
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me

:: 2021 9 February :: 10.50pm
:: Music: The Backseat Lovers- Kilby Girl

She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do...
We're both throwing smoke into the night
It's raining, I suppose you need a ride
She said I've got nothing to do and neither do you
There's a place down the road where we can waste the whole afternoon
I overheard she was 19
She's got a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's just playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do
Feels like a night to carry a tune
I've been carrying yours since you've wrecked my room
And I've got nothing to do and neither do you
So let's chase after love and waste away the whole afternoon
I overheard that she was 19 with a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do

:: 2020 30 October :: 8.40pm
:: Music: Eminem- Godzilla

"This is just the song to go ballistic on/ You just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher..."
I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I'll feel like Godzilla
Better hit the deck like the card dealer
My whole squad's in here, walking around the party
A cross between a zombie apocalypse and big Bobby "The
Brain" Heenan which is probably the
Same reason I wrestle with mania
Shady's in this bitch, I'm posse'd up
Consider it to cross me a costly mistake
If they sleepin' on me, the hoes better get insomnia
Adhd, Hydroxycut
Pass the Courvoisi' (ayy, ayy)
In AA with an AK, melee, finna set it like a playdate
Better vacate, retreat like a vacay, mayday (ayy)
This beat is cray-cray, Ray J, H-A-H-A-H-A
Laughing all the way to the bank, I spray flames
They cannot tame or placate the
Monster (ayy)
You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (yeah)
I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (yeah)
When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers
I look like a villain outta those blockbusters
Godzilla, fire spitter, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
I'm just a product of Slick Rick and Onyx, told 'em, "Lick the balls"
Had 'em just appalled at so many things that pissed 'em off
It's impossible to list 'em all
And in the midst of all this
I'm in a mental hospital with a crystal ball
Tryna see, will I still be like this tomorrow?
Risperdal, voices whisper
My fist is balled back up against the wall, pencil drawn
This is just the song to go ballistic on
You just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher
I'm just a Loch Ness, the mythological
Quick to tell a bitch screw off like a fifth of Vodka
When you twist the top of the bottle, I'm a
Monster (ayy)
You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (yeah)
I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (yeah)
When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers
I look like a villain outta those blockbusters
Godzilla, fire spitter, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
If you never gave a damn, raise your hand
'Cause I'm about to set trip, vacation plans
I'm on point like my index is, so all you will ever get is
The motherfuckin' finger (finger), prostate exam ('xam)
How can I have all these fans and perspire?
Like a liar's pants, I'm on fire
And I got no plans to retire and I'm still the man you admire
These chicks are spazzin' out, I only get more handsome and flier
I got 'em passin' out like what you do when you hand someone flyers
And what goes around comes around just like the blades on a chainsaw
'Cause I caught the flap of my dollar stack right off the bat like a baseball
Like Kid Ink, bitch, I got them racks with so much ease that they call me Diddy
'Cause I make bands and I call getting cheese a cakewalk (cheesecake) yeah
Bitch, I'm a player, I'm too motherfuckin' stingy for Cher
Won't even lend you an ear, ain't even pretending to care
But I tell a bitch I'll marry her if she'll bury her
Face on my genital area, the original Richard Ramirez
Christian Rivera, 'cause my lyrics never sit well
So they wanna give me the chair
Like a paraplegic, and it's scary, call it Harry Caray
'Cause every Tom and Dick and Harry carry a Merriam motherfuckin' dictionary
Got 'em swearing up and down, they can't spit, this shit's hilarious
It's time to put these bitches in the obituary column
We wouldn't see eye to eye with a staring problem
Get the shaft like a steering column (monster)
Trigger happy, pack heat, but it's black ink
Evil half of the Bad Meets Evil
That means take a back seat
Take it back to Fat Petes with a maxi, single
Look at my rap sheet, what attracts these people
Is my gangster, bitch, like Apache with a catchy jingle
I stack chips, you barely got a half-eaten Cheeto
Fill 'em with the venom and eliminate 'em
Other words, I Minute Maid 'em
I don't wanna hurt 'em, but I did 'em in a fit of rage
I'm murderin' again, nobody will evade him
Finna kill 'em and dump all the fuckin' bodies in the lake
Obliterating everything, incinerate and renegade 'em
And I make anybody who want it with the pen afraid
But don't nobody want it, but they're gonna get it anyway
'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like I'm mentally ill
I'm Atilla, kill or be killed, I'm a killer bee, the vanilla gorilla
You're bringin' the killer within me out of me
You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who went in me
Or being the recievin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be
Every bit of me is the epitome of a spitter
When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck
Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me
A hunnid percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me
I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you bitch, I'm unfadable
You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blowin' up like an inflatable
I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable
I'm on the toilet bowl, I got a trailer full of money and I'm paid in full
I'm not afraid to pull the
Man, stop
Look what I'm plannin', haha

:: 2019 4 October :: 11.50pm
:: Music: Lizzo- Truth Hurts

"I don't play tag, bitch, I been it... We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes..."
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Woo
I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch
Even when I'm crying crazy
Yeah, I got boy problems, that's the human in me
Bling bling, then I solve 'em, that's the goddess in me
You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal
Help you with your career just a little
You're 'posed to hold me down, but you're holding me back
And that's the sound of me not calling you back
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay
You tried to break my heart?
Oh, that breaks my heart
That you thought you ever had it
No, you ain't from the start
Hey, I'm glad you're back with your bitch
I mean who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick
I put the sing in single
Ain't worried 'bout a ring on my finger
So you can tell your friend, "shoot your shot" when you see 'em
It's OK, he already in my DMs
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay
I'ma hit you back in a minute
I don't play tag, bitch, I been it
We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
I'ma hit you back in a minute
I don't play tag, bitch, I been it
We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay

1 laugh | smile

:: 2019 8 March :: 11.06am
:: Music: twenty one pilots- Cut My Lip

Lean on my pride/ I'm a lion
I'll keep on trying
Might as well
If you decide
All is well
I'll keep on trying
Might as well
If you decide
All is well (all is well)
Though I am bruised
Face of contusions
Know I'll keep moving
Though I am bruised
Face of contusions
Know I'll keep moving
Know I'll keep moving
Rust around the rim
Drink it anyway
I cut my lip
Isn't what I want
Blood is on my tongue
I cut my lip
I keep on going back
Even though it's me I abuse
I'll keep on going back
Even
Though I am bruised
Face of contusions
Know I'll keep moving
Though I am bruised
Face of contusions
Know I'll keep moving
Know I'll keep moving
Rust around the rim
Drink it anyway
I cut my lip
Isn't what I want
Blood is on my tongue
I cut my lip
Oh, oh, yeah
I cut my lip
Oh, oh, yeah
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion
Though I am bruised
Face of contusions
Know I'll keep moving
Know I'll keep moving
Rust around the rim
Drink it anyway
I cut my lip
Isn't what I want
Blood is on my tongue
I cut my lip
I cut my lip
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion
I don't mind at all
Lean on my pride
Lean on my pride
I'm a lion

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