Life Is An Ever Changing Road

:: 2006 25 August :: 10.36pm

My mom doesn't think I can get enough money to go to France.

Thanks for the support, Mom.

m&ms487

:: 2006 25 August :: 12.04pm
:: Mood: impressed

So, here at CMU now. Good fun. I'm in the library with Jackie.

I'm going to have to get use to all of this, I'm so tired from all the walking I've done already today.

I miss everyone already!

I have an ensemble audition on Tuesday! Classes start monday. I've gotten all of my books and things like that. It's quite exciting.

More to come, though, not as frequent as i might have hoped: until classes start i have to walk all the way to the library to update. I'm starting to hate moving. :)

michelle

:: 2006 26 August :: 5.21am

this getting up so damn early is kicking my ass.
I'm one sleep deprived cranky-ass right now.
I need a new job.
I wouldn't complain about it, if I actually got paid decent.

m&ms487

:: 2006 23 August :: 3.47pm
:: Mood: intimidated
:: Music: I'll follow you into the dark - death cab

I'm leaving for Central tomorrow after my dentist appointment.

We went to IHOP last night, and then to Meijer, and then to the cemetery. Creepy shit.

Summer is over.
No more drunken nights of should be regrets, no more nights getting the shit scared out of us at the cemetery, no more lake parties, no more camping, no more going to work with a hang over.

Well, the last one, maybe...or not.

We'll see. I'm not quite sure what to make of this whole 'college' thing yet.

For some, an institution of higher education, for many others, well, what can I say? It's a party school after all.

skife

:: 2006 23 August :: 1.35pm

last night i had the ride of my life.
Went to josh's house last night in the cutty, decided to check the valve lash just to make sure everything was right, Andy did it right.
Then decided to get a little more timing out of it, fucked with trying to get the distributer in it and the oil pump rod lined up awhile, finally got it, putted out of his drive way down to he paved road and hammered on it and damn....
It just went, it neesd the carb tuned still but it screamed, way awsome.

4 laughs | smile

:: 2006 22 August :: 9.37pm

Classes are fine. I will hopefully be getting books tomorrow or Thursday because I have homework due on Thursday and Friday.

I got a new tire. It was 48 dollars and change.

I need $1100 give or take $10 by September 6. Then I will need $520 every month through April. France.

I love you all.

sugarjackj

:: 2006 22 August :: 7.56pm

Ummm Jessie Wilde.........You're hot.

Oh yeah, I miss you.

joeydomina

:: 2006 22 August :: 12.22am

One Year on Sunday

:: 2006 22 August :: 5.20am

Okay, so the beginning of yesterday was one of the worst days of my life.
Things seem to be back on track.
Or at least getting there.
I still feel incredibly sick.
And I would give anything to go back to sleep right now.
But only if he was going to be next to me.

I don't recommend bouncing off the rail of a pool either.
It hurts.

skife

:: 2006 20 August :: 8.16pm

this is great
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1994546325179027565&q=technical+virgin

:: 2006 20 August :: 7.56pm

Since my classes don't start until tomorrow at noon, I'm going to try and see if I can get my tire fixed before then.

I hope so because I have class until 6:30.

I'm all set for school (minus books), just nervous.

I'm going to go do laundry and clean my room.

I love you all.

:: 2006 20 August :: 10.16am

I got a flat tire...

:(

m&ms487

:: 2006 20 August :: 8.29am
:: Mood: exhausted

This is my last week here for a long time.

I called in sick today for work because, lucky me, I have a bad ass cold.

I'm leaving Thursday sometime. If you want to hang out, or give me kisses, or give me flowers, or give me presents, or write long nonsensical poems, or just want to have general relations with me, give me a ring before then.

Jessie, I know which one you want to do :).

Tomorrow is my last day of work, and fittingly I'm working until the desk closes.

Who knew!

Where are we going? We're going to a party, a birthday party, you're birthday party! Happy birthday darling, we love you

very
very
very
very
much.

Good morning everyone! Have a wonderful day.

Angel_Bob

:: 2006 19 August :: 11.43pm

Jessa, why didn't you tell me?
I don't know whether to be happy or sad about this.

Read more..

sugarjackj

:: 2006 19 August :: 10.38pm

Ever wonder what I would look like with short black hair?

The pictures are to come......soon.

:: 2006 20 August :: 4.36pm

So much drama, it's rediculous.
Last night when we were at the bar, there was a drug bust, a big fight.
Then we go back to Leons and there's 5 cop cars, and cops swarmed around this trailer with their guns pulled. Some guy tried to kill himself after he body slammed his girlfriend.
Then we go back to the bar and the cops show up again, because some guy couldn't find his girlfriend, the last thing he knew was that 2 guys ran her off the road. So he was freaking out.
And then somewhere in between there, Courtney showed up to the bar. Stupid bitch.
Just seeing her ruined my night.
Didnt get home til 5 this morning because Leon and I were sitting in the rain talking.
I needed to get some stuff off my chest, so I stuck around after Mike came home.
And now Im sitting here watching Lifetime movies.

Oh and I got a job at GRC in Greenville. I start monday. First shift.
It's only 8 dollars an hour. Sucky. But atleast it's something.

:: 2006 19 August :: 8.17am

Some student mentioned on The Moose (Aquinas' online forum/news post thing) that he wanted to start an Arabic class and all he needed were people who wanted to take it.

I stupidly emailed him to say I would love to take it. Even though I'm at 18 credits and six classes. I don't know about your college, but at Aquinas 12-18 credits is the same price and 19 credits or higher costs more money.

So if this Arabic class does pan out, I have to drop something. Maybe more than one somethings because a language class is usually 4 credits. So there goes Spanish.

I don't mind really. I have always wanted to learn Arabic. My grandmother never spoke it. She always told us when our shintins were showing but besides that, the only Arabic she spoke was when she told us the names of the food she was making.

I miss my grandmother. I miss her yelling at my mom ("Annie!") or just plain exclaiming ("For HEAVEN'S sake"). I miss the plastic lego-like plants on the table that no one dared to sit by and the hassock that was held together, barely, by packaging tape. I miss Easter and her horribly 50's Christmas tree. I miss Thanksgiving with everyone in the family and time-outs in "the chair" when we were too old. I miss her homemade play-doh and the little cinnamon rolls she always bought. I miss "Uncle Mike's juice" and my cousin, Tyler. I miss my grandfather's chair and watching TV through his binoculars. I miss her fireplace and her huge piece-of-furniture-TV.

Tangent, sorry.

I love you all.

Angel_Bob

:: 2006 18 August :: 7.01pm

I was going to call Katie and Kelly and whomever else today to see who wanted to hang out but I just don't feel up to it.

I'm worn out.

Angel_Bob

:: 2006 17 August :: 12.12pm

Little Miss Sunshine showtimes... Saturday...

Celebration
1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00

Cinemark at Grandville
10:55 1:40 4:25 7:25 9:55

Iron-Cipher

:: 2006 17 August :: 2.47am

Elaphant cookies how I love you!

:: 2006 17 August :: 11.34pm

I love him more than anything, but something isn't right.
The fact that I can ignore all his flaws and still love everything about him and not be annoyed by him doesn't seem right to me.
The fact that I have to think of my mom to get pissed off to get pissed at him and fight back isn't right.
I don't understand how he can fight with me, not talk about it, and have things be back to normal all within 15 minutes.
It confuses me how one person who does so much for me and everyone else, who listens better than any guy I know, can be so insensitive and shut the world out.
It's strange how we can go from being so happy, to everything being wrong, back to being happy again.
It's so weird that I didn't want to go on a date with him at first and all it took was one date to draw me in.
I don't understand any of this.
I feel like I should be living my life more. Going to clubs, drinking, partying, dating more, waking up in strange places with strange people and wondering what the fuck.
Not feeling like a housewife with a step child, with financial troubles, no job and on the verge of completely losing my mind.
He took me back after I did one of the worst things someone could possibly do.
He took the chance to trust me again.
I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything.
There are some things that I wish were differ'nt but I wouldn't change them.
Sometimes I wish he didnt have a kid because then we could just run away from everything here.
Then I feel guilty for even thinking that.
I feel like he's not happy with me.
And the thought of him leaving me, makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I need to tell him how I feel.
But I'm too much of a fucking chicken.

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 16 August :: 3.25pm

and this too...

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 16 August :: 3.10pm

I GOT A REAL JOB!

4 laughs | smile

:: 2006 15 August :: 10.06pm

Work is really busy this week because of people who want to schedule or change classes at the last minute. How much of the last minute? School starts on Monday and people are making appointments for Friday.

Anyway, I went into work today from 9-5 and I'll go in tomorrow too. Then I'll be in for my normal hours the rest of the week.

I am not looking forward to next week. The first few weeks are horrible work-wise. Everyone wants a copy of their schedule (even though they can get it online) and they all want to drop and add classes.

I'm excited that classes start soon but my schedule is so messy that I'm afraid I'll be stressed out.

[Schedule below the cut.]
Read more..

I can't remember when I work so until I do, just think of it as Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday when I'm not in class.

I love you all.

7 laughs | smile

upchuck

:: 2006 15 August :: 3.22pm

Something I realized today driving home. I was listening to NPR (yes, I'm a nerd, get over it), and they were talking about Cuban-Americans and the way that the Cuban-American community feels about Castro's illness. Anyway, none of that is important other than to say that the new Cuban Americans, the children of the original population, the ones who were wronged (or righted depending on your perspective) by the new regime, are somewhat apathetic and non-political. It made me realize the penance of our generation. The obesity, the sloth, the lack of work ethic, I realized where it all came from.

The penance of our generation is that we have lost all interest. We have given into the machinations of man, the construction of society. Without knowing anything else other than freedom, with no direct oppression to fight, we choose apathy in a society where no choice is a choice. When choosing not to participate is just as valid as participation. If we only do what we have to in order to get by, we'll be just fine mentality. No inspiration, just talking puppets. Now how to fix that? How do you inspire the uninspirable? How do we take control of our own destiny? It's a question that every generation has to address, we can't let the answer be silent like so many of our voices still remain.

Upchuck

:: 2006 15 August :: 3.08pm
:: Music: "Save Yourself" Sense Field

I've written factually. I've written from my heart. I've also written the crap of everyday life. But I've never written just to write. Just for the pure joy of putting thoughts on paper. For illustrating the great illusions (or delusions) of my mind. For once I'd like to do that, but I don't know how.

Sometimes I realize how much I've grown as a person over these five long years. Why five years? Well, it's easy for my to quantify. For almost five years now I have had the same job. What makes me so reflective you ask? (well, actually I ask, not because I want to know, I already know, but because I want you to know). No, a girl who I used to work with has reapplied for her job. So long ago it was. More than three years ago she left. Three years!!! Beyond making me shudder because I hate having worked there for so long, it is a reason to pause and think. I just think about how much I've grown in that five years.

Let's see. Five years ago, who was I? I know most of you know who I was. Have I changed? I'd like to think I have. Not in any of the important ways. I feel like I am remarkably more aware of the world. I feel more sure about myself now, but that is only momentary. That is a relatively new occurrence. I feel more breadth in my knowledge. I feel I know the system much better (what system you ask? The whole system, that thing underneath all of society that we call adulthood, I know the system much better). I feel more compassionate, but also more powerless. I have more faith in myself, but less faith in others. I have more faith in ordinary things than extraordinary things than I did five years ago. I feel less guilty, but I have more guilt. I know things that I shouldn't and don't know things that I should. Enough about me.

:: 2006 16 August :: 12.28pm

the fact that im eating soup instead of fast food irritates him.. he keeps asking if i want money to go get fast food.. and him asking me over and over is irritating me..

We were reading through the newspaper and saw this ad that said "No experience need for qualified applicant.".. thought it was funny..

And then we got on the topic of self-esteem and i was like hunny will you share yours with me.. and he goes "self-esteem is like a rubber, you don't share it because that's just fucked up.."

Iron-Cipher

:: 2006 15 August :: 3.13am

So I finihsed scheduling class' today. Yay me! For those of you who don't know I am going to GRCC this year instead of Davenport. Hopefully this way atleast maybe I can see some of the people I know. Anyway this is my class schedule.

Mon - Thu -------------------------10:15 / 11:15 French 101
Tues ---------------------------------2:00 / 4:00 Intro Animation
Tues ---------------------------------5:45 / 9:00 American Sign lang.
Fri -----------------------------------9:00 / 12:15 Intro Programing

If you all have class' around that time let me know it would be cool to see some people I graduted with.

:: 2006 14 August :: 7.29pm

Last night was so much fun.
We started off in Stanton at the Old Fashion Days then we came back here so mike and I could grab some warm clothes for the night because we were going back to GR to ride.
Mike and I went to Franco's and had dinner while Leon was working and we were waiting for Wayne, Johnny, Cally, John and Monica to get there so we could all go riding. It was nice having dinner just him and I.
Anyway we left Franco's and we're going down some rd i cant remember the name of it and here come all these cops and whatnot.. There was a terrible hit and run accident.. This drunk guy hit a guy on a bike and the bike is totaled. The guy that was on the bike is in critical condition. A few minutes later, and it could have been one of us. Which is a scary thought.
So then we went downtown for a bit.. Riding is soooo much fun.
Last night the guys were talking about pitching in to get me a bike, so that I can have my own.
And then I slept all day! Woo..

:: 2006 13 August :: 1.14pm

Yesterday I had quite the eventful day.
Went to Grand Rapids twice, once by car, once by bike.
And I went to the drag strip with Wayne and Leon where we met up with Bowswer and then we went to the bar.
When we were at the bar, I kept making small peter jokes towards Wayne and we were putting ice cubes down the back of each others shirts, until he dumped a whole glass of water down the back of my shirt.
Didn't get home til about 4:30 this morning..
And today we are going riding again.. we're going to the stanton old fashion days.
Yep, thats my life..