"She was who she once was, but not as I had known her."

 

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Life Is An Ever Changing Road

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m&ms487

:: 2009 4 December :: 7.25am

It's my birthday!

1 laugh | smile


skife

:: 2009 2 December :: 1.04pm

i think we should get some people together again at AJ and chelsea's house this weekend.

what do you think chelsea?

3 laughs | smile


gillette

:: 2009 1 December :: 11.44pm
:: Music: Life

hm. I need a change in my life. I know I'm not supposed to be negative, but right now I'd just like to rant..or just state..my 'problems' that I'd like to work on..

number 1) my room is ungodly messy, i mean i can barely walk to my bed and it's horrible. i feel claustrophobic in here, but i really have no motivation to clean it,..i need to. number 2) i am very unorganized..i forget important things and my homework and books are sprawled all over the floor of my room. instated of using folders for classes (i bought folders) i shove all of my papers into my notebook for the class. this causes me to shuffle endlessly through stacks of papers to find things i need. number 3) i have no money. i need to call financial aid and go make an appointment with them to see if i can get more loan money. number 4) i'm overwhelmed by work and school. i need to quit my job before next semester, but i'm not sure if that's financially possible. my grades have suffered this semester and i've been nap happy all semester long. in fact tonight i slept through my 6:30pm class, which upsets me! i hate missing class b/c then i miss crap and it's just annoying. number 5) i want to volunteer more and do other things like that. it would make me happy and i need to do those sort of things to write on my resume. i don't have time though b/c of work. i need time for more important things! number 6) i don't know what to do about living next year..i know it's next year, but i need to sign a lease here soon if i'm going to live here. i most likely will, but part of me is dying for a change! i feel like i've just been trudging along on this same path and i need something different..maybe i can find something different in a different area of my life besides living arrangements but i just don't know what. number 7) i've been stressed this semester so much..i haven't enjoyed myself. i don't do anything fun. i want to have fun! it wears on you after a while..the monotony of school and work. i need some excitement. number 8) i'm not going to get all A's this semester which reaaally upsets me. i need to accept it i guess, but still try the best i can at finals. i could maybe get all A's and A-'s, but as of right now i'm not sure. i don't want my 4.0 in the major to be gone :( but i think it might be. i don't want to beat myself up over it though..i need to just move on.

so that's that. i don't know exactly what to do about all of them, but i'd like to work on them. i just need to find the motivation. i'm exhausted. i wish i lived on the beach so i could just go lay on the sand and veg out. i've seen a counselor twice, but it's not that helpful i don't think. she mostly just makes me talk and doesn't say anything. hmm. i'm going to keep going to give it a full try though i guess. anyway, time to play farmville.

1 laugh | smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 1 December :: 9.20pm

La musique a fini.

smile


jedibumblebee

:: 2009 1 December :: 8.28pm

seriously...

I will post more "real" stuff on woohu once I have stuff worth sharing.... or should I say, that I want to share with this audience.

these are still my thoughts (in song form) and woohu's still my journal :)

1 laugh | smile


Angel_bob

:: 2009 30 November :: 4.06am
:: Music: George of the Jungle

Recent thoughts with added emphasis
I like the idea of Montreal (much like one enjoys the idea having a baby but not the pushing it out of your own vagina part or the human being inside me thing or much like one may love the idea of organizing a bookshelf by color but not actually having said bookshelf (I cannot find any book I am searching for. Surprise, surprise, I do not remember my books by color.)) but that whole French thing always turns me off. Gravy and cheese curds on French fries? I am there. Calling it poutine? Sorry, I'll pass. Maybe next time. With bacon. And a not French name. Losers.

I think I might have mentioned it before but this I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant show is insane. How the fuck do you not know you are pregnant? "Oh I had missed my period two months in a row but I just thought it was stress." "I had a craving for tacos but I just like tacos, you know?" "I thought I had to poop and then a baby was in the toilet." What the fuck, kids? And they never have any prenatal care but the baby is always fine. While people who take care of themselves have sick babies. Also, what sexually-active woman is not hyper-aware of every single thing that is going on with her body period-wise?

I am having more and more dreams that involve someone sending me back to France for some reason. And I'm not allowed to leave for some other strange reason. Like I lose my passport or I lose a piece of luggage and cannot leave until it is found. I suppose that is what I get for speaking French all day.

Speaking of...speaking French, I think I speak more French in my average work day than I ever did during my 8 years of studying it in school. Probably even more than I did in an average day in France. I really hate myself for not speaking more French while I was there but whatever. I went to Budapest, bitches. French didn't matter. Now I talk about having votre numero de reservation and combien des chambres voudriez-vous and sorry, you need a carte de credit and who doesn't have an adresse email these days? My dreams are just filled with more French.

My sister is studying in Innsbruck, Austria next year. For the whole year. My mom didn't want her to go for the entire year because she didn't want to pay for Notre Dame with my sister not even being in the country but somehow they got over that. Also, next year is the motherfucking bicentennial of Oktoberfest so my friend and I were already planning on going to Munich. She lived in Germany for a long time and knows people we can stay with for free. We would only have to pay for airfare and food/drink money. My sister and I are planning a European tour since we can handle most countries with my French and her German.

I need to learn to play an instrument. I am thinking something terribly hipster like a ukulele or organ. I've always wanted a hurdy gurdy.

I have no clue what to get anyone for Christmas. Personne, kids. Not even Nick. It is terrible. I know what Nick wants but I can't buy him a 400 dollar laptop/netbook or whatever. And I can think of things I would like for him but nothing he would actually like. You know how guys are. I can think of about twenty things I think he would like but he would just say "oh, thanks." And not really enjoy them because it's nothing he wants. You know? And of course if you ask him what he wants, he never knows.

Nick does many things to annoy the heck out of me because he thinks it is cute when I'm mad. One of these is not putting the new toilet paper roll on the holder. He knows it drives me insane, so he doesn't do it. Every single time he does(n't do) it, I fake yell at him for it. It's what we do. It's our joke. Anyway, the other day, I was joking with him about it and he said he'll always do it. It's his thing, and it won't ever stop. And I said, "Just like it's never lupus." So today when I went to shout at him about it, he said, "It's never lupus."

I am torn about Monk ending this week. It jumped the shark years ago but it has always been one of my favorite shows. I almost have Nick hooked on it but I think it will be like West Wing, I will talk about it for years and he won't watch it until it's OFN and then he'll fall in love with it and talk about it like it's something new.

I read about the newest game from Team Ico and it looks like it's going to be only for the PS3. This may be the game that forces my hand into buying a stupid PS3. Damn you, Team Ico. DAMN YOU.

Nick's parents got us an electric fireplace for Christmas (and already gave it to us, obviously) and it is awesome. The smart cat has only slept on it once so far but their favorite thing seems to being going behind it for some reason. Silly cats. We totally tripped a breaker with it already too. Which was bound to happen since it's on the same plug with the xbox and the router and the modem and the TV and the cable box and the surround sound and the Wii.

I've typed for about an hour now so I think that more than makes up for my silence. I'm out, kids.

I love you all &c.

P.S. I was watching Zero Punctuation's review of Modern Warfare 2 and the little line he always puts in the credits said, "I wonder what kind of gun fires with a noise that most closely approximates the word 'BANG.'" I read this to Nick and he replied, wittily, "An onomato-P9." This is why I want to marry this kid.

P.P.S. Earlier today, we were eating pizza and watching Away We Go and we couldn't find the TV remote. We looked everywhere but it was nowhere to be found. Finally, after the movie was over (98 minutes after it was lost) and we began a hardcore-retracing-steps mission. This mission was quickly completed when Nick found the remote in his pocket. This is why I will keep this kid around.

2 laughs | smile


mystickittie

:: 2009 24 November :: 4.58am

This journal is private and/or friends only.


Let me know if you would like to take a peek into my world.

2 laughs | smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 23 November :: 12.10am

It's almost the end of the semester. It's so close!

I have a campaign project due Monday night at 6:30pm. I'm almost done, all I have to do is finalize my calendar and proof read. It ended up taking about 16 hours and 13 single spaced pages with an additional attached brochure, 11 month calendar, and publisher 5 sheet web page.

Next, I have a six page paper for Shakespeare that I will start writing tomorrow and it is due on Tuesday afternoon. After that, I'm free until exam week. It's going to be marvelous.

Wednesday is going to be baked-goods day.

Thursday through Sunday is work, including a 5am shift on Black Friday. Bleh.

Fun Fact of the Day: On Columbus's second voyage to the Americas he brought eight pigs. Eight years later there were over 30,000 wild pigs on Cuba alone.

2 laughs | smile


jedibumblebee

:: 2009 21 November :: 9.54pm

Update
Start: April 4, 2008
End: January 1, 2011

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

My 101:

De-Cluttering/Organizing/Practical
1. Replace pictures in frames around the house
2. Get wedding dress cleaned and boxed
3. Organize the den
4. Get rid of old clothes that I haven’t worn in 1+ year
5. Back up files on the computer(s)
6. Give away three items on Freecycle
7. Take one full carload of stuff to Goodwill
8. Shred old documents and set up a better filing system
9. Have a garage sale
Relationships
10. Get a new address book- update, add anyone I am missing, add birthdays
11. Send out greeting cards to at least 8 people/families each for 4 holidays other than xmas
12. Actually throw our belated housewarming party
13. Send someone a surprise "care package" for no reason
14. Email or call Grams at least 1x per month
15. Make two new friends
16. Celebrate a random anniversary with Paul
17. Have a baby (I have, like, three years, right?)
Giving & Community
18. Volunteer for a charitable organization
19. Make a loan on Kiva.org
20. Donate to a cause
21. Give a 50% tip for service well done.
22. Pay for someone’s meal in the drive-thru behind me.
Going Without
23. Go one month without buying anything Made in China
24. Go one month without eating any fast food
25. Go one week at work without using the Internet for anything non-work related
26. Go one week eating only at home (including no take-out/pick-up), or with food brought from home
27. Go one week without spending any money.
28. Go one weekend (from Friday after work through bedtime Sunday night) without using the computer
29. Go one weekend (from Friday after work through bedtime Sunday night) without watching any TV
Health & Nutrition
30. Weigh the same or less than I did when I got married
31. Shop for fruits & vegetables at farmers market
32. Go for a walk (20 minutes or more) every day for one week
33. Go one month without drinking soda
34. Work out at least 2x per week
35. Go to bed by 10 PM every night for one week
36. Take vitamin every day
37. Try a new fitness class
38. Buy a Weight Watchers cookbook and start cooking better
39. Join a gym
House & Home
40. Make ten new dinner recipes
41. Purchase something from a local crafter/artisan that I would otherwise buy from a mainstream retailer
42. Have the hardwood floors refinished
43. Plant trees and vines in the back of the yard
44. Paint the main level of the house (or get it painted)
45. Put crown molding in the bedrooms
46. Build a headboard for the bed
47. Plant a vegetable garden
48. Buy a new vacuum
49. Buy a new washer and dryer
50. Redecorate the kitchen
51. Complete the landscaping in the backyard
52. Paint the windmill in the backyard
53. Complete an insurance inventory for the house
54. Put a new floor in the kitchen and entryway
Finances
55. Increase savings by $4,000.00
56. Sell something on Ebay
57. Buy some more stock
58. Increase income by $20,000.00
59. Eliminate all consumer debt
60. Increase 401(k) contributions to 15%
61. Create a will
62. Create and stick to a monthly budget
63. Put $5 into said savings for every item I crossed off and then do something fun with it at the end of 1001 days.
64. For every item on the list not completed at the end of the 1001, donate $5 to charity.
Personal/Professional Growth
65. Finish my CEBS credentials
66. Finish PHR designation
67. Start work on my MBA
68. Get promoted
69. Start building a real professional wardrobe
70. Start pursuing my resume writing/critiquing business
The Arts
71. Go to a show at Miller Auditorium
72. Go to 2 concerts per year
73. Go to a touring production of a Broadway musical
74. See a concert in another state
Travel
75. Visit two states I haven't been to before (actually spend time- not just drive through)
76. Travel to a country outside of North America
77. Visit Traverse City
78. Visit Mackinaw Island
79. Go on a road trip
80. Go to Vegas
81. Take a cruise
82. Visit Mom/Dad at least 2x per year
Hobbies/Leisure/Random
83. Go camping
84. Buy a new (used) car
85. Go to a drive-in movie
86. Buy a drink for a stranger
87. Go to a Red Wings game
88. Take a dance class
89. Go to an ethnic cultural festival
90. Buy a case of wine
91. Take a cooking class
92. Take another personal interest/leisure activity class
93. Learn how to mix a signature drink
94. Try ten restaurants that I haven't been to before
95. Go rock indoor climbing
96. Publish a secret I have on www.postsecret.com
97. Register a dollar on wheresgeorge.com
98. Color an entire coloring book
99. Learn origami
100. Go roller skating again
101. Get someone else to do 101 things in 1001 days

1 laugh | smile


sugarjackj

:: 2009 20 November :: 5.56pm

Ok Woohu. Look at me go.

The past few months of my life have been crazy, chaotic and life changing.

After being involved in a horrible domestic situation I spent a month and a half being homeless. I have lost almost everything I own. But I am better than I have ever been in my entire life.

Sometimes when things start to go so very wrong in your life you feel as though things can¡¦t get any worse. They can. But, I learned so much from losing everything.

I moved into a domestic violence shelter on the reservation in Mt. Pleasant. I have been here for just about a month now, and things could not be going better for me ļ

I recently got a job, and I move into a one bedroom apartment next week.

I¡¦ve been getting into many native American cultural activities. Getting in touch with the earth and my heritage.

I¡¦ve decided to take a few more years off of school. I¡¦m still trying to decide if college is really what¡¦s best for me. I still will be taking a few classes though. Just so I remain smi-educated. Lol.

Next week I start an apprenticeship. I will be learning the art of native American stone sculpture. I am extremely excited to be doing this. Who knows, maybe I¡¦ll make magnificent sculptures and make a living being an artist. Pipedream? Maybe. But it would be cool in any case. To beat the system and make a living doing what I love. :P

So, overall, life isn¡¦t perfect, but I¡¦m doing the best I can.

I really am very happy :)

smile


jedibumblebee

:: 2009 18 November :: 10.09pm
:: Music: 3OH!3- Starstrukk

'Cause I just set them up/ Just set them up/ Just set them up to knock them down
Nice legs, Daisy Dukes,
Makes a man go (whistles),
That's the way they all come through like (whistles),
Low-cut, see-through shirts that make ya (whistles),
That's the way she come through like (whistles),

'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down,
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce,
How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce

Tight jeans, double d's makin' me go (whistles),
All the people on the street know (whistles),
Iced out, lit-up make the kids go (whistles),
All the people on the street know (whistles),

'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down,
'Cause I just set them up,
Just set them up,
Just set them up to knock them down

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce,
How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce

Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
This is the same old dance that you already know,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow,
Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control,
This is the same old dance that you already know

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce

smile


rayray

:: 2009 15 November :: 4.52pm

I have come to the conclusion that the human race is pathetic.
We're everything we say we're not, and we pretend to be the things we say we are.
I guess not everyone, but generalizations are always much easier than the specifics.
We're childish.

No one is every really as strong as they admit to being.
Everyone has a breaking point.
It is all part of pretending.
The truth hurts, life is hard, and people are pathetic.

....

So lately, my life has consisted of working during the day, and being alone at night.
I've been hanging out with Chelsea quite a bit lately, and it's a blast.
On my weekends I spend them with Mike, because thats really only the time I get to see him and it definitely sucks.

I am definitely excited that my sister is coming up Saturday and will be here til Thanksgiving.

1 laugh | smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 15 November :: 6.34am
:: Mood: awake

"I officially became a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi this afternoon. Now I am an active member. There was lots of cool stuff that happened that I can't talk about, which is a little lonely, but understandable. I know I'm finally around people that understand how I feel about music, and that is the best feeling in the world." - April 14, 2007

Shanique is going through Third Degree this afternoon at 1pm. I will remember mine forever, I'm sure she'll remember hers. I have so much hope and faith in her, and I will love her as my Brother until I die. Kappa Kappa Psi is the last piece of my music that I have left and I will not let it go.

By the way, I think I might be an adult now.

smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 10 November :: 5.39pm

Rueben is sick and I think I am too. We are laying in bed together trying to be a comfort to each other.

I have to leave for University Band in a few minutes. It's become so difficult lately with my acid reflux and all. My music is coming to an end and I haven't confronted it yet. It's going to be a disaster when I do.

smile


gillette

:: 2009 3 November :: 2.33am

awkward turtle is awkward. and highly annoying. and pregnant. or maybe just fat. probably fat.

1 laugh | smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 1 November :: 11.54pm

To a Friend

by Amy Lowell


I ask but one thing of you, only one,
That always you will be my dream of you;
That never shall I wake to find untrue
All this I have believed and rested on,
Forever vanished, like a vision gone
Out into the night. Alas, how few
There are who strike in us a chord we knew
Existed, but so seldom heard its tone
We tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
The world is full of rude awakenings
And heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
Yet still our human longing vainly clings
To a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!

smile


gillette

:: 2009 22 October :: 1.26am

so i found out a few weeks ago that my old friend dan had called my house looking for me. my dad told him that i had a boyfriend (which dan already knows) and that it would be best if he didn't call me. apparently he said he had gotten a new phone number and wanted to give it to me. i haven't talked to him in like a year.

i was like his only friend. the only one who understood him, or listened to him and made him feel better about himself. i think i have a slight attachment to him because he was in the same place my dad is and he has overcome it and works through it every day. i'm not sure if he's still sober, but when i last talked to him like a year ago, he was. i hope he still is.

i do miss his friendship, and it brings tears to my eyes that my dad did that.

smile


Angel_bob

:: 2009 19 October :: 2.04am

Oh, Wikipedia, you slay me
"Vaughn dated two of his The Break-Up co-stars: actress Joey Lauren Adams during the filming of 1999's A Cool, Dry Place[9] and jon favreau between 2005 and 2006."

Ha ha. I'm totally not fixing that. That's awesome.

Also, in the discussion:
"This article seems incomplete without some mention and/or photo of his weird right thumb."

and

"Vince looks part black...he has some skeletons in the closet. he looks quadroon to me like he has black grandma"

smile


Angel_bob

:: 2009 16 October :: 7.32pm

Speaking of...
Look what I noticed today, kids!

Read more..

2 laughs | smile


Angel_bob

:: 2009 15 October :: 6.52pm

I just unsubscribed from a wedding blog because they offered the most retarded wedding tip ever: "Etiquette strictly forbids listing where you've registered on your invitations, so enlist your families, bridesmaids and groomsmen to spread the word - tactfully, please!"

What. How does that make sense? That's just rude. Everyone knows you want gifts and that you registered somewhere. Making them ask you or someone else about it is just rude.

In other news, I'm thinking maybe I should clean up my RSS feeds. I last checked them at 5 am this morning and I now have 53 unread items. Omg.

7 laughs | smile


m&ms487

:: 2009 14 October :: 7.19pm

I'm sitting in the library on this computer waiting to go to a reading by Jeffrey Bean on his new works titled "Diminished Fifth."

I'm debating whether or not to go up to the reading room and sit down with the French "Elle" and see if I can figure out what they're talking about..but that usually just gives me a headache.

French was cancelled today and I did not go to Physical Science. I stayed at home and baked all day: Lemon Bars, Apple Pie, and Chocolate Chip Muffins.

It was nice to have a day off. Recently I've been spending 12-16 days on campus. I don't like those days.

Ca Va.

smile


gillette

:: 2009 14 October :: 5.44pm

Next semster I'm taking..

CDO 439=3
CDO 402=2
CDO 494=3
ASL 201=3
HDF 307=3

hmm on my way to graduation! kind of..

smile


gillette

:: 2009 14 October :: 12.40am

so. i've realized that life isn't that great unless you are with the ones you love. i can fill it with superficial acts like working, walking, class, eating. but, it's not worth it in the end. i know i need to go to school to get a job and do the career i want to do, but i'd rather just be with him. i'd rather just be surrounded by love. it trumps everything else.

everything around me is fake. i long for what's actually true in my life, what actually means something deep to me. it's painful to get out of bed, go to class and suffer the monotony of the day without him. i have to force myself to do the things i need to do, there is nothing i want to do. i don't want to go to work. i don't want to go to class. but without these things, i would just lie in my bed and stare at nothing. my life would become useless.

...

i am over burdened by my family's suffering. i cannot handle it anymore. because i've realized that i can do nothing about it, it's out of my hands, i have to back away from it all. my dad has no desire to be happy, no desire to change. my mom is depressed. they are frozen in that house. literally. and i can't do anything. i sit here in my room, feeling cozy, and they are shivering. it breaks my heart, but i can't let it anymore. but that thought just seems so cruel.

smile


jedibumblebee

:: 2009 9 October :: 7.54pm
:: Music: Gossip- Heavy Cross

We can play it safe, or play it cool/ Follow the leader, or make up all the rules/ Whatever you want, the choice is yours/ So choose...
Last night I found myself begging Paul to agree to move out of state.
I'm feeling restless again.... it's time to make a change.

5 laughs | smile


Jedibumblebee

:: 2009 8 October :: 8.24am
:: Music: The Killers- Read My Mind

I never really gave up on/ Breakin' out of this two-star town./ I got the green light/ I got a little fight/ I'm gonna turn this thing around.
on the corner of main street
just tryin' to keep it in line
you say you wanna move on and
you say I'm falling behind

can you read my mind?
can you read my mind?

I never really gave up on
breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around

can you read my mind?
can you read my mind?

The good old days
the honest man
the restless heart
the promised land
a subtle kiss
that no one sees
a broken wrist
and a big trapeze

Oh well I don't mind
if you don't mind
coz I don't shine
if you don't shine
before you go

can you read my mind?

it's funny how you just break down
waitin' on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
with magic soakin' my spine

can you read my mind?
can you read my mind?

The teenage queen
the loaded gun
the drop dead dream
the chosen one
a southern drawl
a world unseen
a city wall
and a trampoline

Oh well I don't mind
if you don't mind
coz I don't shine
if you don't shine
before you jump
tell me what you find
when you read my mind

Slippin in my faith
until I fall
He never returned that call
woman, open the door
don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again

She said
I don't mind
if you don't mind
coz I don't shine
if you don't shine
put your back on me
put your back on me
put your back on me

The stars are blazing
like rebel diamonds
cut out of the sun
can you read my mind?

1 laugh | smile


Angel_bob

:: 2009 7 October :: 12.58am

Jaunty
I downloaded Ubuntu today. It is pretty cool.

Except a bunch of things didn't install correctly or automatically so I spent the first two hours fumbling around the internets and learning new things by stumbling blindly into terms I'd never heard before in my life.

I did get to relive fun DOS times in a place called Terminal. It made me feel like I was 6 again and booting up Lion King Print Studio. I never printed anything, we didn't have a printer. I just made cards. And didn't save them. P.S. Windows 3.1 and that cat/mouse cheese game, you will always have a special place in my heart.

Anyway, Ubuntu. It is good. And gorgeous. And my computer does not chug up or burn my fingerprints off.

And that, children, is progress.

P.S. I don't know where Ubuntu is getting its weather reports from but it is eerily accurate. It was raining earlier and it said rain. Then it stopped and was very windy and it said windy and cloudy. Now it started raining again and it says it is raining. I may never have to leave the house again.

5 laughs | smile


angel_bob

:: 2009 5 October :: 2.59am
:: Music: When Water Comes to Life by Cloud Cult

Monroe Center
I'm pretty sure the people across the street have seen my butt.

Multiple times.

As it runs from bathroom to bedroom and from bedroom to bathroom.

Who's across the street you ask?

Oh, you know, just some condos above the sushi restaurant.

And the Grand Rapids Police Department.

No biggie.

7 laughs | smile


kandy

:: 2009 3 October :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: blah

So living in the U.P can be many things. Mostly beautiful. I can see the lake/bay area from my front window. I love my job even tho I don't get enough hours. Working with dogs I think is really my calling. Lately tho... it's been raining or drizzling non-stop. Talk about depressing. It really saps away all good vibes. And just getting over being sick for the better part of a month. That sucked. I had to go into the doctor and lucky me, I have no insurance. *sighs* I just wonder how my life would be different if I had made different choices.

smile


rayray

:: 2009 2 October :: 9.42am

Most days it feels like its the same ole' crappy song on repeat.
Doesn't matter how hard I try to repatch, cope, or ignore the issues, they don't go away, for good.
She doesn't see the hurt she causes.
I am starting to think she is incapable of feeling anything.
Which would be making excuses for her, and that is the last thing I want to do.
But with her, I never get to do what I want.
Lets face it, she makes me feel quilty, and I cave.
I can tell her how it is, be a royal bitch to her, and she still makes me feel guilty.
Why?
Why does she always turn it back on me?
Will she ever stop?

I'd cut ties with her, but would that really do any good, for anyone?
I don't care about hurting her, or myself.
It's the rest of my family I am worried about.
I can't stop asking myself what we did to deserve this.
Growing up the way we did.
Not everything was bad, but not everything was good thats for sure.

Each one of us had to witness different things, and as time went on, they got worse.
She drank more.
And more.
The fighting was worse between her and Jim, than it ever was with my dad.
At least, thats the way it seems to me.
Even though I was 11 when my parents split, a lot of the memories of them being together is a blur.
Not because they are bad, or I am trying to repress them, it's because I do not remember.
I vaguely remember when my parents were happy.
When I was at the age where I would be able to remember, it was probably just a show anyway.

There are bad moments that I do remember, but I feel like they are a dream.
I wish they were a dream.

I wish the drinking would stop, the drugs, the promiscuity.
All of it. I wish she would realize what she has before she loses it, again.

I know that I shouldn't care as much as I do, because I moved out.
I left and moved on with my life.
I want her to be a normal mom.
I want her to actually care.
Not ignore her kids because she just doesn't want to talk to anyone.
It's pathetic.

When the fuck will she realize...

3 laughs | smile


gillette

:: 2009 28 September :: 1.38pm

realizing how lonely and empty my world is.

realizing something is seriously wrong with me. can you have alzheimers at 21?! i don't understand why i'm so forgetful all the time, and about really important things. i write them in my agenda, on my dry erase board..but i still forget.

1 laugh | smile

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