Life Is An Ever Changing Road

:: 2009 28 April :: 7.54pm

Found a new home for her cat, and is now balling like a 3 year old..

The ad was on craigslist for like 3 hours..

:: 2009 28 April :: 12.45pm

I hate April
Nick's coworker also passed away Sunday night. He was 35, divorced and had two daughters. He had a massive heart attack and never woke up.

The only good thing about this month is that it is almost over.

4 laughs | smile

:: 2009 27 April :: 7.57pm
:: Music: Matt Giraud- You Found Me ;)

Where were you, when everything was falling apart?/ All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang/ And all I needed was a call that never came...
i am sick and a little bit sad
really hope i'm not coming down with swine flu.

i might have a television hangover tomorrow.

:: 2009 27 April :: 6.08pm

I've been putting some serious thought into a career path, and I still have no clue what I want to do with my life.
I want out of this factory crap.
I keep thinking that there is a job out there that I will enjoy every moment of, and the people won't irritate me.
But lets be serious, that doesn't exsist.
At least not for me.

Any suggestions?

:: 2009 24 April :: 10.14pm
:: Music: Erin McCarly- Love, Save the Empty

Little girls don't know how to be sweet girls/ Mama didn't teach me/ Little boys don't know how to treat little girls/ Daddy didn't show me...
lots of weekend plans... now through mid summer.

:: 2009 24 April :: 3.45pm

Well here is another thing to add to the list of things that keep making my life worse..

Mike's daughters mom and step dad are buying the house that I want more than anything so that their welfare kids can rent it from them..
I am super fucking pissed because they knew that I wanted that house, and was trying to get it..
Right now I am beyond super fucking pissed.

m&ms487

:: 2008 17 February :: 1.38am
:: Mood: blah

So, one more regular week left of school and then final exam week. A million papers due and a few exams.

Wednesday afternoon at work I realized that my right lower gum behind my wisdom tooth was hurting. Thursday it started to swell and by this morning it became bigger than my wisdom tooth. I called around to a few dentists in Mt. Pleasant because it hurt like a bitch and ended up going to the hospital to ready care. They gave me a script for some antibiotics, and antiinflammitory, and some prescription ibruprofen. On my way to Meijer to pick it up I realized that it was getting smaller and that my stomach hurt. I'm pretty sure I swallowed some nasty stuff that was in the huge inflamed bump. Gross. I came home, took the drugs, ate some ice cream and mashed potatoes and took a two hour nap. I'm still quite drowsy.

That's my grand adventure for the day. Au Revoir.

:: 2009 21 April :: 7.32pm

Update
Bad news comes in threes, right?

Nick's grandmother (the one on his father's side, the one his parents are staying with)'s best friend passed away Sunday. Four years ago on the 15th, Nick's grandfather (her husband) passed away.

So at 9 Sunday morning, we all got up and drove up to the house to basically house-sit while Grandma got out.

I got to see the house in daylight on Sunday. I don't know what was the worst thing to see: how small the hole is...the hole that used to be the house, the steps that led to the front door that are now cement steps to nothing, how little is left or the charred leaves and grass surrounding the house, the charred path carved out behind the house to the man who started it all, the ash that threatened to jump the road to take out another house. I don't know.

I think I was in shock before then because Sunday night it really hit me that it was all gone. And Nick's parents are spending their days making lists of everything they had, trying to remember everything they lived with, how old it was, where they bought it and quoting things that have no price. Things like Nick's grandfather's woodworking tools, the baby clothes, his great-grandmother's handmade quilts, his grandfather's guns, the bunk bed his father made, his mother's wedding dress, Jess' cake and all the pictures of everyone and everything.

I feel like I need to be helping out more but there's nothing we can do. I can make food, I guess. I can give hugs. But these lists, the insurance stuff, everything. I can't help.

When they start to look for places to live, then I can help.

Thanks for everything, kids. Love ya.

:: 2009 21 April :: 5.54pm
:: Music: Hate my life - Theory of a Deadman

Not sure if it is because of the rain, or the sudden load of shit that has been dumped on me lately, but the song "Hate my life - Theory of a Deadman" is my theme song for the moment.. One verse in particular.

I still hate my job, my boss is a dick
"I don't get paid nearly enough
To put up with all of your shit"

:: 2009 21 April :: 2.43pm

Growing up I was never told that cheating was a good or bad thing. I have formed my own opinions on the subject.

But I can't believe she has the audacity to ask me not to be mad at him. I can understand that she wouldn't want my brother to know. But I honestly cannot believe she can ask me not to be mad at him. I may not have a lot of respect for the woman and she has done somf pretty questionable things in her life but I figured she'd make things right by not forgiving someone for doing the same thing she has done to every guy she has been with.

Makes me sick.

:: 2009 20 April :: 10.55pm

So right now out of all the things that were bugging me the only thing left is how emotionally disconnected I feel from my family. Well, I guess you can add friends to that too.

I feel like everyone is against me. Sometimes when I spend time with my family I feel like they aren't even my family and it is a horrible feeling.

Will it ever go away?

:: 2009 17 April :: 4.08pm

Nick's parents' house burned down yesterday.

Fox17 (We were there when they filmed the news at 10. We watched this story at his grandmother's house while they were up at the house. It was surreal.)

WZZM13

Everyone is okay. Nick's parents were at work. His mother's sister lives with them and works third shift. She was asleep when the house caught on fire.

We went up there last night to see if we could help with anything. The whole house is gone. They went to buy some clothes and necessities but they have nothing. Aunt Jean saved the laptops and the dog. The stray cat that they feed occasionally is okay too.

Thank goodness everyone is safe.

It's so weird to see the house not there. We visited them for Easter and talked about what they would change if they had to build the house all over again.

Nick, Katti and Jess grew up in that house. His family built it themselves.

I am glad everyone is okay but I really wish it hadn't happened. They are staying with Nick's grandmother who lives down the street for now.

I feel like I should do something for them but I don't know what to do. We are just thankful that everyone is okay.

:: 2009 17 April :: 11.50am

Things are better already..
It took them forever to get my check thing situated and really it didnt get situated but whatever..
The owner of the company gave me cash.. Went to the bank, withdrew money and said "here you go, when you get your check in the mail just cash it, and give me back the same amount I just gave you."
Because my check went to my old address it will take up to a week for the tranfer of address to go through or whatever..
Yay!

gillette

:: 2009 16 April :: 9.23pm

terd ferguson.

its funny cause its big

:: 2009 16 April :: 7.39pm

Things in my life couldn't be any more crappy..
I have a bitch trying to aggravate me to leave Mike, because she thinks I am not qualified to take care of her sister..
I want to buy a house, but that is not going the way I had planned..
I barely have credit, so I can't get a loan, they want me to get a credit card, but I can't get a credit card because I barely have credit..
I didn't get my paycheck today, and who knows when I will get one..
Apparently it got mailed out, or so they think, they aren't really sure.. My check NEVER gets mailed out..
So I have to wait until tomorrow to see if I get it..
But here is the real kicker, they asked me to verify my address, and they only have my old address on file.. So my check was sent to that address.. Delaying it just a couple of more days..
I asked them to re-issue me a new one and void the one they sent out..
But their response was "we have to wait and see if you get it"
Leaving me to wait until fucking MONDAY to see if I get a check and if I don't then they will re-issue me a new one, and have someone from Owosso drop it off at work for me..

Fucking A.. Not to mention, my boss and I have been going rounds all week because he is a fucking moron..

So I right now, I am ready to just quit life. I want to cry, curl up in a ball and sleep for like a month..

:: 2009 14 April :: 10.47pm
:: Music: OAR- This Town

In the morning wake me up/ And tell me everything/ So I can understand your world/ And you can understand my dream...
who needs twitter? i've got woohu.

5 laughs | smile

:: 2009 14 April :: 9.56pm
:: Music: The Killers- Sam's Town

I�ve got this energy beneath my feet/ Like something underground�s gonna come up and carry me/ I've got this sentimental heart that beats/ But I don�t really mind that it�s starting to get to me...
I don't like playing the waiting game...

Vegas was crazy. I spent too much money (but that's what vacation is for, eh?).

Not a big fan of real life. Still really ridiculously tired.

m&ms487

:: 2009 14 April :: 1.09pm

Rueben is at home and sick. He's not doing well at all.

I'm in band-aides. It's a small help desk/store for the music building. It's staffed by people from my fraternity.

University Band tonight. I practiced last night for a while and got some parts in shape. That's the first time I had practiced in quite a while. Drew, my conductor and my honorary little came knocked on my practice room door and was excited that I was practicing. No one in university band practices much-that's why we suck so much. Oh well.

Another paper down-I think I got it-had a french exam yesterday-barely finished it. I'm sticking with French. I only have one more year and then I'll be done. I'm starting to like it. I've finally figured out how to study for it and consequently am getting better grades.

That reminds me, I have vocabulary cards I need to make...

Au Revoir!

:: 2009 12 April :: 7.20pm

So I had Easter dinner with both my parents, at my moms house..

Apparently hell froze over..

4 laughs | smile

:: 2009 8 April :: 5.45pm

So I put an old mixed cd in my cd player today on the way home from work because I needed some new music, and I forgot what was on the CD..
And all these memories hit me like a ton of bricks..
Some good, some bad, and some that I can't seem to get off my mind.

This CD had songs that describe so many things in my life..
One song in particular hit home.. Well actually two songs hit home..
And now I can't get the one song out of my head..
And its probably not the best idea for it to be there..

Ugh.. this is why people label should label their cd's..

4 laughs | smile

skife

:: 2009 5 April :: 1.35pm

Fuck x64 vista.

32 bit W7 here i come, the time is now.

:: 2009 4 April :: 9.59pm

I seriously feel like I am losing my mind.
And one thing I hate more than anything, is when people don't listen to me, or acknowledge the fact that I am talking to them..

Not to mention I have other things on my mind that are making me want to throw up and crawl in a corner and cry because that is the only way I know how to deal with them, have known how to deal with them for a very long time..

How fucking lame..

:: 2009 4 April :: 9.46pm
:: Music: Lily Allen- The Fear

And I am a weapon of massive consumption/ And its not my fault it�s how I�m programmed to function/ I�ll look at the sun and I�ll look in the mirror/ I�m on the right track yeah we're on to a winner..
maybe i have a higher purpose in life.

going to vegas on tuesday, and planning on getting crazy.

:: 2009 3 April :: 10.19pm
:: Music: Everclear- Amphetamine

She looks so bored sometimes/ She has that super pale skin and those soft green eyes/ She looks like she could have been happy in a better life...
She came out west to find the sun
She lost her name but found a new one
Amy goes to school all day
But at night in the neighborhood
They call her amphetamine

She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like she used to be happy
With the girl inside

She looks so bored sometimes
She has that super pale skin and those soft green eyes
She looks like she could have been happy in a better life

She came out west just to break away clean
From her family and her friends
Just a little girls dream
All she wants to do every night
Is sit beside my window and listen to the sirens

She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days

She looks like a teenage anthem
And she looks like she should have been happy
In another life

In another life, ooh, in another life
Yeah, in another life

She came out west just to break the spell
After three long years in a marriage from hell
Six months clean, living sober and right
The doctors tell her everything will be alright

Yeah you just take your pill
And everything will be alright
Yeah you just take your pill
And everything will be alright

She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like a magazine girl
She looks like a teenage anthem
Like she used to be happy in another world

She looks like a teenage anthem
She is happy with the girl inside
She looks like a teenage anthem
And looks like she could have been happy
In another life

In another life, happy in another life
Ooh, in another life, happy in another life
In another life, happy in another life

Met her at a party and I took her home
She is the saddest girl that I have ever known
She wakes me up in the middle of the night
Just to tell me everything will be alright
Amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be alright
Yeah, amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be alright

Yeah, I tell myself the same damn thing
Everyday
Everything will be alright
Ooh, everything will be alright
Everything will be alright.

:: 2009 1 April :: 10.02pm
:: Music: Everclear- I Will Buy You A New Life

They might think you're happy/ Yeah maybe for a minute or two/ They can't make you laugh/ No, they can't make you feel the way that I do...
maybe tomorrow brings good news for once?

not hopeful.

:: 2009 1 April :: 5.37pm

I have an interview next Wednesday for a bilingual customer service job.

That's right, I am actually interviewing for a job using my major.

And I do not like it one bit.

I cannot speak French. What am I getting myself into?

skife

:: 2009 31 March :: 11.11am

things are going good with jordan and i the only trouble is my insecurities

:: 2009 30 March :: 5.13pm

I feel like all my friends worlds are falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it..
How fucking shitty..

:: 2009 29 March :: 12.26am

concert yay!
Nick and I are going to our first concert together in April.

I am super excited because the band we are seeing?

It is Cloud Cult.

Awesome songs? Check. Live paintings? Check. Biodiesel-powered and solar-paneled tour bus? Check. I am super pumped.

I really wanted to see them in concert because they are going on a possibly permanent hiatus after this tour. And this tour celebrates the release of their documentary.

They are coming to GRap on April 14. Nick and I are counting down the days.

:: 2009 28 March :: 6.22pm

Bowled a 300 on wii!!