lately, i have been
thinking about
all the people
who have died
we were driving
past this spot
where this college student
had died
she was either pushed
or she jumped
off the bridge
on to the highway
i didnt know here
put the little
white flower
that was on the bridge
broke my heart
i wish i knew something
about the girl
then it occured to me
when i die
people will know
nothing about me
and that scared me
i dont want to
leave meaning nothing
my inner thoughts never heard
people will say things about me
that really arent true
like i gave back
to the community
through habitat
and that im such a great person
but im not
i lie
i cheat
i steal
i decieve
i feel so unworthy
to be told in that light



its funny...
everyone wants to get a job
but i really dont want to
i cant see myself
doing anything
but im going to college
so i can better myself
and get a job
so i can pay off my loans
but i really dont want one
i want to stay home
and raise children
and clean a house
and bake cakes
and cookies
and pies
as surprise
and i want to take care
of the man i marry
i want to massage
his back
after a long day at work
i want to give him his newspaper
as i cook in the kitchen
this may sound so weird
and retro
but i would be happy
just doing all that
but in the end
i will conform
and get a job
so i can pay off my loans
and buy the house
i always wanted

!@&&;#