.j.e.s.s.
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2005 16 August :: 10.47pm
ugh. what the heck. i miss roman and i hate not having cell phones. Have i said that lately?
fatty fat fat fat.
BARACUDA
oh and steffy is 21 what the frick . can't wait until i move out and have an apartment like that. coolie cool.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 16 August :: 6.38am
:: Music: kayne west- slow jamz
ugggh i'm the only one online. what does that say? it was so damn hot and uncomfortable in that stupid stupid stupid tiny-ass room upstairs that i couldn't take it anymore. i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE that bed. my back hurts so bad from it. it sucks 100%. so i just couldn't take it anymore and just decided to get up. i tried sleeping on the couch for a while but nope that sucked too. and now the cats are running around like maniacs on crack and i have to babysit at 8........ ugh..................,a;lskdj
i hate stuff. you know?
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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brokenmentality
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2005 16 August :: 12.55am
just got home from micahs.... and before that we just got home from mackinaw or mackinac or whatever it is.
it was nice to get away for a little bit.
thats really all i've got for right now. im listening to the night noises outside and its really calming.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 15 August :: 10.23pm
I miss roman. he'd better come back safe and sound and in one piece and quickly.
BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH I wish we HAD FUCKING CELL PHONES. it would be so much easier. i can't wait until we do. My computers here in this house are so fucking stupid.
i dont want to type anymore.
loathing.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 15 August :: 4.27pm
I'm not going to get upset over this. I'm done waiting around for you, and im sure as hell done making my life revolve around you.
6 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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fallenfaces
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2005 15 August :: 3.56pm
That girl.
I've realized I have caused this journal to be a very depressing place to visit. The majority of all my writings are ramblings of a depressed, empty girl. And that's not all I am. I am depressed, but not empty at all. I always said there was a difference between being sad and being depressed. I think sadness is a very short period of time. Your cat dying, losing your favorite shirt,or failing a class for example. And depression is when you're happy for short periods of time, but in the end every day closes with sadness. Which is the case for me. That feeling of happiness always fades. But, this is just a phase. I won't be like this forever. I'll be happy all the time and have short periods of sadness sooner or later. So, I have accepted the fact that I am depressed. But, I'm not about to turn to pills or suicide. I know I'm not in the deepest form of depression, hence me not hurting myself physically. A lot of people are much more depressed than I am. So there is a bright side, for me anyway. Not for them.
Church has really been hitting home lately. I hold everything that has been said to be very true and I want to practice it. I have to respect Brad even if he doesn't love me and he has to love me even if I don't respect him. We have to make compromises. He needs days with just the guys and I needs days with just the girls. We have to be okay with giving certain things up for the other. I have to do things for him and he has to do things for me. We have to connect. It's all very hard. Trust me, but I'm willing to do it all. I'm willing to become happy again. I want to be that girl he used to write poems about. That girl he used to get chills from just feeling her touch. That girl he wanted to spend every second with. I want to be that girl. That girl. If I could be her again it'd be a dream. I think I'd be happy again. I long for love and to be loved. I long to feel loved. I long to be in love.
I want him to feel like he's the best thing wearing pants (as the pastor says). I guess I have to venerate and cherish his ego and quirks. I have to show him respect. I have to forget his past and turn his heart back to mine. Because mine's stuck and his is lost. I just want him. All of him.
Anyway, I want to make this a happier place. But, it's hard when I'm not a happier person. School will be starting soon. That could either help or hurt. I hope to God it helps. I'm growing up, now it's your turn.
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 15 August :: 2.34pm
i'm at taryn's with jess and yeah i miss roman. i am a loser but oh well. i hate that we can't just buy our fucking cell phones. i can wait until we do. and well
i really need to brush my teeth i feel gross. band tonight DAR$ALSKDJ and
whateve.r i keep having dumb dreams about people i hardly know anymore. or ever really.
gahahas;lkdjfsl;djfs blah roman i love you.
1 ..chose the best time |
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swimfan14
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2005 15 August :: 1.49pm
:: Mood: shocked
What did I tell you Brianna!? I knew my sister (Danielle) was going to tell my mom about me drinking because Bryce was there with us at Rachelles and she parties with him so he told her that I was there drinking and she told my mom. So last night at Lisas we didn't go to sleep until really late and the past two days before that I have been out partying so I haven't had much sleep so I had to get up at 8 today to go to the dentist and I came home and went back to bed and I just woke up so I wake up and my mom goes "why are you so tired, did you stay out at Lisas last night" im like "not really no, but I did the nights before" and she goes "oh well Bryce told your sister that you were partying with him" so at this point I was like oh shit..so im like "umm yeah I was there but I didn't really drink. Ha notice the didn't really part of that sentance. I don't know if she believed me and I don't know what she would have said if I told her I was drinking. I don't really want to find out but this weekend I'm going to another party and maybe Nicks too so Brice will probably be there and once again he'll tell my sister and my sister will tell my mom. Bright Idea.
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kellilynn21
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2005 15 August :: 1.42pm
:: Mood: confused
[i need you]
Even Though Your Always There For Me When I Need You...
Your Never "Really" Here.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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Paradox
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2005 14 August :: 1.59pm
Erika's gone :( she's on her way to mackinaw city and such for a couple days. I miss her... We have so much fun together. and I'm bored already. Oh well, I'll pick up some extra shifts at logan's I spose. Come visit me! (Thanks to Dani who did!) Peace yall.
-K. Loye
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 14 August :: 1.39pm
This weekend was the best weekend ever. Seriously. Nothing could compare to it.
Friday I didn't go to bed until 4am and then I had to wake up at 9am and then last night I barely slept again so im extremely tired.
1 (Shopping) At hollister I cut in front of about 15 people waiting in line lol Brianna. I told your mom that I was going to tell them to suck it haha.
2 (Olive Garden) Lady offers us wine. Do we look like we can drink lol? The waitress asked if I wanted cheese in my soup and I said yes and of course she puts just a little in Briannas but she gets to mine and she keeps pouring cheese in and I was like "thank you", meaning that she needs to stop and she just kept on pouring so I had this big cheese ball in my soup and Brianna was laughing at me and then her mom tried to tell me to use "used" napkins lol.."were not touching those. thats sick lol"
3 (Bries) Brianna lost a bet with her mom about what time Dan was coming to get us. Five dollars lost.
4 (JDs) Pointless.
5 (Bowling) I sucked. I lost the 1st game by far and I'm almost positive Kevin won and the next game I came in second, finally. Kevin, Dan, and Brie tried to make me eat mustard but I refused. That shit is sick.
6 (Taco Bell) Kevin and I waited for Dan and Brie to get their food because we didn't want anything.
7 (Park) We went to the park at like 11pm and we went on the stupid merry-go-round and Kevin started spinning it faster and faster while Brie and I were on it. We almost threw up lol. It was fun though. Kevin and I just sat on the swings and talked. I actually talked about things. My life, my feelings, everything. I said things I never would have told anyone else. How I managed to trust Kevin so much. I don't know but it was just nice to talk about things that needed to be talked about.
8 (Back to Bries) We had to find more trouble to get into.
9 (Rachelles) Crazy time. Some girl was nuts there and she was talking to Brie and I about some oger or girl. We couldn't understand her.
10 (Nicks) We went to Nicks house with Andrea Towns. It was fun.
That was really it but we didn't get home until like 5:30am and now I think I should go to sleep.
3 ..chose the best times |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 13 August :: 7.53pm
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont have any FUCKING FRIENDS TO FUCKING SEE A FUCKING MOVIE ON A FUCKING SATURDAY NIGHT. GOD DAMMTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKS.
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You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 12 August :: 10.43pm
wow. today was such a horrible day but when i got to rosie's and worked for the first time ever it was really nice.It still doesn't change how horrible a day it was but at least rosie's seems like it is going to be a good time. Everyone is really nice there and it was pretty fun. I can't wait till i get to wear a cute little pink dress.
i probably lost my job at arby's even though i was going to keep it and just work a few hours every week. i wrote down my schedule wrong and was supposed to be at arbys and rosie's at the same time. i tried to find a cover but no one could do it. so yeah i went to rosie's so i'm pretty sure i'm fired because phyllis was not feeling at all sorry for me to say the least. so yeah that's great. i couldn't stop crying about that and then roman and i got into a huge fight. i'd never felt like that before but as soon as i saw his face when he walked towards me i just thought to myself i can't leave my baby. it could never happen. i love you baby so much.
So.
i had a good time at rosie's and i love my baby so much. I love him.
i found out that we have DVD recorder. How awesome is that? I guess my dad bought it like 2 months ago or something but I didn't even know we had. Coolllllies. jess remember when we used to say that? lol. coolies. ha.
yeah. goodnight. Has anyone ever tried any kind of diet pill and if so, which kind ? just curious.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 12 August :: 5.17pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Papa Roach-Scars
Feelings I used to have really aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care.
Oh well..It's not my problem anymore.
This is really weird and it sort of freaks me out but a a week ago when I was at my Aunt Loris in Detroit I had this dream that Mischa Barton was on the cover of Cosmo Girl and so in my dream I went home to get my magazine since I was so excited she was on there and the cover was ripped of so I got really mad and then I woke up so thats all I remember from it, but anyways when I was there my cousins friend and I went to the store to buy candy and I was looking at the magazines and she was like "what are you looking for" and I told her I just wanted to see if Mischa Barton was on the cover because she was on it in my dream. And of course she wasn't because they didn't have the new issues of it there yet so today when I got to my dads house, I walk in my room and there sitting on my bed is my Cosmo Girl magazine with Mischa Barton on the cover! It's freaky that I knew she was going to be on it before it even came out, and now she is and the cover looks exactly like it did in my dream. I scare myself sometimes.
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 12 August :: 3.42pm
i am honestly having a horrible day. i can't stop fucking crying all fucking fucking fucking day and i just want roman to come give me a hug and tell me i'm not as ugly as i feel but
you know
that wont happen. considering ever fucking day soemthing has to go wrong and his car will just sit there forever rotting away
asdfn;lasdkgjsl;dkgjsl;kdgjal;skd nothing good like ever happens and if it does, it's very soon covered up with something shitty.
just
like
fucking always.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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fallenfaces
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2005 12 August :: 1.58pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith - Say Yes
The morning after.
I just want to be happy.
Just make me happy.
Is it that fucking hard?
I hate being stuck here.
I can't wait to be 18 and live.
I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after.
We broke up a month ago and I grew up, I didn't know
I'd be around the morning after.
Elliott Smith - Say Yes
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brokenmentality
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2005 12 August :: 12.31pm
another perfect morning. except this time i woke up with him here.. he didnt wake me up when he got here.
last night after i got out of work we went back to his house and fell asleep around 11.. then at about 2 we woke up and it was pouring rain and there was lightning and thunder and darkness... its moments like that where we're so connected to eachother, even in silence... that make me realize how fortunate we are to have found eachother.
i came home around 4, fell asleep thinking about us, and woke up with the only other person that has ever fully completed that simple 2 letter word.
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 12 August :: 12.11pm
I killed my cat. I ran it over. Last night my sister and I left at like 10:00 and before we left I thought I seen my kitten run under her car but I didn't say anything because It was dark and I assumed that I probably didn't see anything. So we left, nothing happened. We came back and I opened the door to get out and there right next to me is my kitten and I almost threw up. I kept saying "omg" and my sister was like "what happened" and I told her so we went inside and told my mom and they went outside and obviously she was dead. I feel horriable as it is, even though, yeah it's just a cat but still she was my favorite cat and I killed her. It was an acciden't and shit happens I guess.
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 10 August :: 11.09pm
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd
common fucking courtesy. ever FUCKING heard of it?!
bloke.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 9 August :: 12.55pm
I'm back from Detroit. Well I was back last night but I didn't have time to write about it. Detroit was quite eventful.
My cousin Brina is here. She is two. She came back with me last night and she is staying for a couple days. Shes so cute and usually my cousin Lindsey who is my age (her sister) watches her but my Aunt says she doesn't think Lindsey does a good job so she wanted me to watch her. She loves lip gloss and found all my makeup and is destroying my room and she makes me take her in the pool every five minutes.
My cousins friend was over when I was there and for some reason my cousin got mad at me and her friend so we just left her went outside and talked. It was nice talking to someone that doesn't go to my school or who didn't use to go to my school. She views things differently I guess and it just helped talking to someone for once because I don't trust anyone here at all.
Anyways my cousins friend was there like 3 days before I got there and everyday she would walk to this party store right down the street and buy candy so then when I got there she wanted me to go with her so I did and this guy was in there that was there when she went too and he kept flirting with us. Then the next day we went there and there was another hot guy working there and he started talking to us and he was like "your all cuties" and hes like "you should come party with us" and were just like "umm right" and anyways it was really akward. We went home and like 5 minutes later my aunt was like "can you guys go to the store and get chocolate milk" for my cousin Brina so were like sure but were not going inside the store because of those guys so we made my cousin Haileigh go in and she went in and the guy asked her where her crew was and she told them we were waiting outside and so we were sitting outside and I go "wouldn't it be funny if they walked out" and soon enough the guy walked out and hes like "why are you guys standing out here" and we were laughing hysterically and he made us come in the store and we told him we felt dumb for going twice in one day and he was like "well thats what a store is for" so we talked again and the next day only one of the guys was there and my cousin wanted candy so we went with her but didn't go in with her and the guy told her to tell my cousins friend and I that he was mad at us for not coming in but we didn't really want to because once again we felt dumb. The next day we went there again and made my cousin Haileigh go in there and buy us more candy and the hot guy that was working there wouldn't give my cousin Haileigh the change from our candy unless we went inside so we told her to tell him to keep the change and she came out with two packs of cry babies for us because he told her to tell us we were being cry babies. It was really funny and then the next day before we left we went insisde and talked to him and we gave him our cell phone number just so he would be happy lol.
When I was there my cousin and I went running everynight and we would run 2 miles and anyways she lives right by 8 mile and we were running at 10:30pm and we seen a hooker on the corner and we started laughing at her and she said hi to us. It was really gross.
I have to go take Brina in the pool and then im going to the mall. <3
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 8 August :: 10.18pm
i miss you and i just want to cry and have you comfort me
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2005 8 August :: 9.14pm
Thats all I needed to know.
Things are finally, finally looking up.
So what, I'm better off everyday.
2 ..chose the best times |
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brokenmentality
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2005 8 August :: 10.47am
keegan just left for work, i suppose i should do something productive like mow the lawn.... i'll just wait for him to do it! :)
my senior pictures went pretty good. we were there for 3 and a half hours and he's still not done. so tuesday we're going to the beach, and then we still have set up another indoor session. and yesterday i came to the realization that my cheeks are entirely to fat. i really really dont like them. i told my mom that im gonna get lyposuction done on my cheeks.. laughs... its true.
we went to see keegan at work last night.... simply HAD to give him a hard time. he's a good waitor. my cousin audra was working too.. so she sat down with us for quite a while... said she was gonna have it out with keegan cuz he took her family and we should have been sitting in HER section. giggles* audra said i was the talk of server alley last night..... ohhhhh yeah.
when he got out of work we went and got life and guess who... gotta love the classics. what nerds we are.
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.j.e.s.s.
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2005 7 August :: 11.49pm
:: Mood: angry ish
What does the Wilde name mean?
Last Name: Wilde
Irish, English, and German: variant of Wild.
Dutch (de Wilde) and Jewish (Ashkenazic): nickname for a violent, unruly, and irascible man, from Middle Dutch wilde ‘wild’, German Wilde ‘wild man’, ‘savage’.
Yeah, sounds pefectly right to me. But only a man. and there's only one in this house.
dumb
you are
And..
yeah, this is funny, seriously- this is what we do at pit. It's my deformed baby!! ...... look! Read more..
and thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's all. goodnight.
i hope at least one person looked at all those.
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