what about me?/what about you?/what about all you put me through?
Do you ever try really hard to be a big person, but end up wanting to just stab someone...MANY TIMES? well i guess i am just a violent bitch, but i am having some VERY violent tendencies right now...The worst part is that the person has not really done anything...they just get under my skin...maybe if i make someone else cry then i wont...

GRRR

broken guitar/its got broken strings/its always the same shit/always the same thing
blue/black is such a good color...i cant wait to take a shower to see how i look...yay!!!

life is an aimless drive that you take alone/Might as well enjoy the ride/take the long way home
Ok so just read jason's top movies and i was sad cuz i had only seen 4 out of 10, so i thought of my favorites, and it WAS a bad year for movies...at least for me...i could only find 7 that were worthy or going on a list...so here is my list and it has a lot of girlmovies on it but so what...i am a girl...

7.) Bend it Like Beckham...it is from '02, but i saw it '03....so i am still counting it...
6.) How to deal
5.)Pirates of the Carribean
4.)LOTR
3.)X2
2.)What a Girl Wants
1.)Big Fish

There you go Annie...

Its hard to rhyme a word like vagina/kevin klein kinda/south carolina
Ok, so i am listening to silly music to try to get in a different state of mind...i am real tired! I am also sort of creeped out cuz megan asked if she could have the room to herself on friday...i need to stay somewhere on friday night...any offers? Haha...just kidding...joking is funny...kitty...HAHA
Anyway, now that i am insane...um yeah...

This week has been very draining...i am not even sure why either...i hate going to class though, and i HAVE to go to them this semester...i have to get grades that are a lot better than last semester...have to...

I need to stand up for myself with ryan...i am not the kind of person who takes crap from people, but i totally let him walk all over me...i dont know what it is about him...i guess i do actually...

Random Favorites:

The OC
Concerts
Dressing up to go out
Big Fish
Washington DC
Black
Ewan Mcgregor
Musicals
Incentives and games

I like thinking about things i like cuz it puts me in a better mood...

Just wait for us to say it/ and we'll make you lie/ anyone who cares/ lies on satin sheets
I just woke up a little while ago, but it was worth sleepng in late...even though normally i hate doing that...it was so fun last night!!

Molly totally won, but i definetly think that Jason was the real winner...he saw a lot and he got 2 girls, so he definetly won the most...I think that michelle was the unwinnerest...having to see all the asses she did...sorry bout that...

I cant wait to tell megan about what happened in our room last night...it is weird that i feel that was, but i guess that shows that we have gotten a ton closer...plus she likes those kinds of stories...

I heart you all...especially my date from last night...muuuuuuahhhhh

Today is gonna be such a good day! My Max is coming to visit, and i am going to a concert with molly, jason and krystal...yay!

I am going to go to bed, cuz the sooner i go to bed the sooner i will get up and the closer i will be to seeing max...

This love have taken its toll on me/ she said goodbye too many times before/ her heart is breaking in front of me/ i have no choice, cuz i wont say goodbye anymore
I just made Steve's present and it turned out pretty cool, and megan was supernice when she got back even when Krystal and Ricci were in here...she talked to us and everything...it was real good...tomarrow there is a big partay and i wanna go cuz it would be something different, but i wouldnt really know anyone and i could never drink somewhere i didnt feel REALLY comfortable, sooo...i dont know if i am gonna go to the party...that is ok though...partying isnt one of my top priorities...anymore.

i will miss everyone this weekend, but i am hoping it will be superfun...saturday i am going to a concert with Jason and Molly...yay

Molly is a supercool girl...i am sad i didnt get to know her sooner, but i am real glad i know her now.

OK GO is playin at the Magic Stick on Fri jan 30 at 8pm...tickets are $10...anyone with a car wanna go?

remember to breathe
I had a GREAT conversation with Ricci tonight...the time flew by...

I have MaJOR issues mostly with trust, but i opened up a lot, so i am real worried now...but i think it will be ok...

STEVE'S B-DAY IS SUNDAY!!! dinner... TBA

Tonight was rwal weird, but ended well, so i think i will go to bed...just in case...

i look at love from both sides now
Glad: I got my new boots in the mail and they fit, THEN I was bonding with Megan...she is getting better everyday! It is great! Plus i think i am going to a concert with Molly on Saturday...fun? YES!

Mad: I had class today, i have it tomarrow and on friday... :(...BUT I havent heard from my max in over a week either...

Sad: when someone is in trouble, i automatically want to help, but sometimes that is just not possible...it makes me sad...then i miss my max alot and i am going through my pics and taking down some of them and it makes me miss him more and sad about all the people i dont talk to anymore...

I heart you...

first you run like a fool just to be at my side, now you run like a fool but you just run to hide, and i cant abide
I hate when i get obsessed with things...

I hate when i know a secret that i cant tell...

I hate when people start to get on my nerves for no reason...

Damn the man! I have to do a crap load of reading for my 10 am english class...I might just eat my teachers face and then be free of this crap...

I know she said its alright/but you can make it up next time/i know she knows its not right/there aint no use in lying
I hate it wheni was gonna say something and someone else on my list already said it...oh well...i will just vent a little and i have a good story too...

VENT:
i had to buy an english book and i went to bernhard and they didnt have it so i had to walk to university too...SO i walked from the dorm to sangren for Art, then i had to come back to the dorm to get my wallet, then i walke dot brown for spanish, then to bernhard, then to university, then all the way back here...i totally walked a lot today...grrr

STORY:
When i was in Bernhard i saw Justin, and for those of you that dont know... things with him are complicated...he is a junior and hot and we worked together for the past 3 summers. He went abroad 2nd semester last year and he was home for 2 months before he left and we hung out A LOT. I was BAD...he had a girlfriend though and so nothing really happened with him then, we just partied a lot, then he went to Australia and broke up with the girl and became a slut...um before he left he brought me to WMU and that is when i decided to go here...anyway, when he came back things werent the same, and he is a pothead instead of just smoking occasionally...and he drinks ALL THE TIME, and doesnt treat me that well, SO i try to stay away from him because whenever i hang out with him i do badness and he treats me bad, BUT i cant help it...he is one of my addictions, so when i saw him today i got the little butterflies in my tummy and looked away, i pretended i hadnt seen him, but he saw me and came over to talk, i kind of was blowing him off when ANDY CAME OVER!!! He is one of my supervisors from work. He is not hot, but he is cute and older and he came over and started to talk to me, and said how he was sad we werent workin the same nights anymore(aww) and so anyway...Justin didnt like it and i was like HA! TAKE THAT!

So anyway, it was good and it made my day, but DAMN he is STILL HOTT!!

I love the way you love/ but i hate the way/ I'm supposed to love you back
alright, i wrote a superlong entry about everything, and then everyone was complaining, so i moved it...but it is still around if you want to know EVERYTHING about me...haha, like anyone wants to be that scared...

well i miss you and i hope you miss me, but it doesn't feel like it...oh well i get stronger with each passing day but i know i will melt when i see you again, i always do...

i hate being in moods like this, i miss my ryan, he always knew what to say, but alas, he has turned into an asshole instead of being a friend...to each his own i guess...

By the way...i am gonna eat you face...hehe

I love this song...i reminds me of florida band trip in 10th grade..which was very drama filled but fun just the same.

i read the rest of my book last night so i am real tired today, so tired in fact that i fell overslept AND fell asleep in class. Oh well shit happens, and at least now i am done with it.

here are some of my favorite quotes...if you can guess them right, you will get a prize... ;)

1.) "Even if we never talk again after tonight, please remember that i am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me."

2.) "I will be your friend, which is actually a pretty good deal because it means i will do just about anything on the off chance that it will make you a little less sad."

3.) "The way a fish gets big is by not getting caught."

4.) "Dreams come true...not free."

5.) "What i still don't get, is why you are trying so hard to fit in... when you were born to stand out."

6.) "It is better to walk in the dark with a friend than in alone in the light."

7.) " In the end you always go back to the ones that were there in the beginning."

here is a hint: 3 are from Dawson's Creek... :D
Good Luck
I Heart You

it is calm under the waves...in the blue of my oblivion..
This has been a weird weekend...not bad, just different...lets see...I have not hung out with the people i always used to, and i hung out with people who i hardly knew before...that is good...but it makes me feel weird like i am losing touch or something...i dont know...

I miss my max...i wanna maxhug and he is too busy...stupid K college hard classes...

I think i need to make a new start...this weekend has opened my eyes to the fact thta i am sort of stuck in a rut...i am going to take down the pics of the people i never talk to...

I heart you :)

today was real fun, but i still can't get in a good mood...i got up real late cuz i was reading my new book last night, and then kate, Krystal, ricci, Michelle and i went and looked at a house and an apartment, then we went to steak and shake...it was great, then Krystal ricci and i went to the mall...

Here is where it gets fun though...Mike Michelle, and jason and i went to see Big Fish, but it was sold out so we got tickets for the later show and went and played pool...Jason and i would have won all three games except there were some unfortunate mishaps...lets just say that even though the score board said Mike and Michelle won twice...it was not on their own merit...

I think it is real fun to meet new people though, and i met a real nice person tonight...i dont fully know what the word is, but i know that there are a lot of people that care about Jason and it was fun to hang out with him tonight...i think the point was to do some cheering up, and i hope it worked... : )

Things with Megan have been a lot better lately...she is being real nice and we have been able to talk a lot better too...she is not here right now too...i think she has made up with her friend and isnt as lonely anymore...cool for her

Ok, here are some of my favorite actors in 2003...of course John Cusack would be at the top, but after that...

Hugh Jackman
Colin Firth
Jake Gyllenhaal
Johnny Depp
Adam Brody
Elijah Wood

I didn't go into all the ones that i think are hot though, cuz that list is extensive and would bore certain readers...more favorites in 2003 lists to come.

So I miss my Max A LOT...but other than that i am doing real good...last night was real fun...it got funner as the night went by though...sorry guys but watchin the porn was not as fun as watchin the movie and...THEN I got to see the Enrique dance...it wasnt what i thought, but it was great just the same...and reminiscing with Mike and Michelle and Andy was real fun too...My classes are done for the week...they are gonna be real good i think...i still havent been to my english class though...i think megan might be in it though...that could be good...i got out of work both days this week too...which rocks, PLUS i got 2 checks from work last night...witch rocks even more...i need money hardcore! OMG rock your body by JT just came on...prom...yay...yesterday Megan and i bonded a little more too...oh and if we need a 6th person for a townhouse we should ask Kate...she would be fun and she is a sweetie...Optimus's Kate...ok that is enough for now...i have to look up service learning stuff now...i heart you all!!