mbenznut
|
::
2010 18 September :: 9.26pm
I'm going to need you to shut up right now, because I'm incredibly hung over.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 17 September :: 9.31pm
I think I told that kid to get our daughter in the backseat of his car.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 17 September :: 7.41pm
Ok, I'm watching Friday Night Lights. If I had known that by giving a football player cookies on game day entitled you to making out with him, I would have been doing a lot of baking.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 26 August :: 9.52pm
Peter Peter Rhyme
Peter peter pumpkin eater
had a wife loved to beat her
smacked her twice across the head
fucked her ass and went to bed
__________________________________
Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory Dickory Dock
The bitch was suckin my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
And dropped the bitch off at the next block!
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 17 August :: 7.24am
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree."
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 16 August :: 10.28pm
They spit only to stroke their own cocks.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 15 August :: 9.17pm
I wish to alter my bet. Everything on the one with the horse cock.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 18 July :: 7.31pm
No food all day. 1/2 cup blueberry Smirnoff, 1/4 cup sprite, 1/4 cup blueberry juice=me completely trashed.
1 Thought |
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 13 June :: 10.58pm
I'm nominating him honorary coon-ass.
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 7 June :: 2.57pm
Run! Bitch Run!
1 of 5 stars
Netflix instant
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 7 June :: 1.23pm
Killer Diller
4 of 5 stars
Netflix instant
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 4 June :: 10.47pm
Fun!
3 Thoughts |
Tell Me...
|
taoman1121
|
::
2010 3 June :: 12.05pm
:: Music: Gorillaz - Stylo
Dear Jim
Dear Jim [Gaffigan]:
I had a weird dream last night where I went on a killing spree, murdering all of my ex-college roommates (I had a lot of them apparently), and for some reason Elvis Costello was fingered for the crime. I sat in the courtroom and watched him get a life sentence, and then he turned to me and smiled and starting singing, "Alison, I know this world is killing you." And the really bizarre part is, my name isn't Alison. What could this dream mean?
- Norah, Lancaster PA
Dear Norah:
Wait--the "bizarre part" was that your name isn't Alison? Really, THAT was the bizarre part? Not the murder spree or your letting a great musician take the heat? Just your name? Lady, you're a nut bag. Stop watching Law & Order before bed.
- Jim
Excerpt from "You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You: The Believer Book of Advice":
Amazon Page
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 28 May :: 3.31pm
This damn thing is as hot as a stiff cock!
Tell Me...
|
|
mbenznut
|
::
2010 26 May :: 10.13pm
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
- Matt Groening
3 Thoughts |
Tell Me...
|
|