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:: 2003 11 June :: 1.23 am

well my room is now green. and boy do i mean green. think of a mix between spring green and lime green... going more towards the lime... if you don't know colors then go get your crayons ok. so now it's time to move all my crap back in. at least the prettiness of my furniture i took the time to paint white will stand out more now :o) then next- pink stripes on the west wall.

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:: 2003 6 June :: 1.04 am
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: pete yorn

come back home
so the "come back home" video is so great.... like i never realized how cute pete yorn is. i did know he had a tummy which earns him extra points no matter what. but now i kinda like him :o) hehe. but yea, watch it ok.

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:: 2003 5 June :: 9.02 pm
:: Mood: weird

to quote billy
"the heart is pointed down but my spirit pointed up"

"If I knew where I was going I would already be there"

Marquis in Spades:
And I'd love you to notice
I'm devoted
To destroy for no one
Now it's that time again to take revenge
On all the debutantes and their friends
The bitter charlemagnes so self-absorbed
The bodily remains such a bore

Hey, yeah
Was I good enough to break you
Hey, yeah

And all I see is empty
'Cause now I'm one of them
So adored
The slink of impotence
That money can afford
We know who you are and where you live
Is your innocence all that you can give

Hey, yeah
Was I good enough to break you
Hey, yeah

In the back of the car
The angel dust was given back to the stars

Hey, yeah
Was I good enough to break you
Hey, yeah

And in this fall from grace
We'll meet again
Another time another place
I've been down deep in you and me
Let's see where we can go
Yeah yeah yeah
Angels, Barbed wire
Fuck you, Desire


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:: 2003 4 June :: 1.40 am
:: Music: suicidal tendencies - institutionalized

all i wanted was a pepsi, just one pepsi!
i've been meaning to stick this somewhere since, forever. so here...

Sometimes I try to do things and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted
to.
I get real frustrated and I try hard to do it and I take my time and it
doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
It's like I concentrate real hard and it doesn't work out
Everything I do and everything I try never turns out
It's like I need time to figure these things out
But there's always someone there going

Hey Mike:
You know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately.You
know, maybe you should get away and maybe you should talk about it, maybe
you'll feel a lot better

And I go:
No it's okay, you know I'll figure it out, just leave me alone I'll figure
it out. You know I'll just work by myself.

And they go:
Well you know if you want to talk about it I'll be here you know and you'll
probably feel a lot better if you talk about it.

And I go:
No I don't want to I'm okay, I'll figure it out myself and they just keep
bugging me and they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside and it
builds up inside.

So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
to give me the needed professional help
to protect me from the enemy, myself

I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about
everything but then again I was thinking about nothing
And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there she called my
name and I didn't even hear it, and then she started screaming MIKE! MIKE!
And I go:
What, what's the matter
And she goes:
What's the matter with you?
I go:
There's nothing-wrong mom.
And she goes:
Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!
And I go:
No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't
you get me a pepsi.
And she goes:
NO you're on drugs!
I go:
Mom I'm okay, I'm just thinking.
She goes:
No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!
I go:
Mom just give me a Pepsi please
All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me.
Just a Pepsi.

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up
achair and they sat down, they go:
Mike, we need to talk to you
And I go:
Okay what's the matter
They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of
problems, you've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna
hurt somebody, we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere
where you could get the help that you need.
And I go:
Wait, what do you mean, what are you talking about, we decided!? My best
interest?! How can you know what's my best interest is? How can you say what
my best interest is? What are you trying to say, I'm crazy? When I went to
your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning
facilities?! So how can you say I'm crazy.

They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

It doesn't matter how's this childs play planned to turn out anyhow.

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:: 2003 3 June :: 10.32 pm
:: Mood: bored and worn out

the desert is hot
tamara and i took a small trip to visit pig yesterday. i think i ruined my room project flow, but it's ok. i'll just start again tomorrow. and i actually moved stuff out today too. so like whateva! but anyways... piggers lives in joshua tree. if you've never been there, go now. i used to go when i was little with my parents and all. i remember hiking to the oasis and all that fun stuff. but what i dig is the sound the wind makes. it always sounds so hollow there. only in the desert does it do that. i just have to say, the best part about going was talking to pig's mom and petting rascal and the kitty, bobby. and i hope he reads that ;-)
mm well i guess it's cooling off huh? i wanna walk charlie tomorrow at the park. he hasn't gone lately cause it's been so warm. but he gets to take naps on my bed instead. so no complaints from him.

now let's see how this summer goes.

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:: 2003 1 June :: 1.16 am
:: Mood: trying not to be sad

i think i'm alone again. how stinky

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:: 2003 29 May :: 7.41 pm
:: Mood: ::sigh::

fans rule
i think it's sad that today it was around 90 degrees out, yet it felt like heaven. no more 100's please.
so my dad said today we are buying paint for my room tomorrow (then i will paint like a fiend!!!). yea uh huh let's see how that goes. but it is my dad saying it. cause if my mom said it i wouldn't even be writing about it right now. don't ever take her word on things! that is your lesson for today.
but i'm supposed to go grocery shopping right now. fun fun fun.
ta

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:: 2003 29 May :: 1.05 am

My Birthday List
E-Mac Computer
Lollapalooza Tickets
New Tatoo (already picked out)
Clothes Shopping

and for my friends:
take me to the beach, in-n-out for lunch and bj's for dinner, yea thanks.

to laura: it's already happening right??

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:: 2003 28 May :: 12.56 am
:: Music: queens of the stone age

damn it's hot! it's 1 am and for some reason i am still hot from being out earlier in the day. i think my body is crazy.
but anyways. two of my fave nerds had their b-day a few days ago. happy belated b-day to them.
my dad is such a nerd, the other day day he was like "oh what are you doing? no school today??" to me getting out of the shower at noon. apprently my family doesn't notice when i take weird hours to go to finals and then don't go to school for a week. nice. but i have been not home much. cause wel home sucks to me. so i'm usually in my room, or just not around. but i finally got my giant dresser out of here. now i realize i need a vanity table. oh well.
i'm off to bed now..... conan is a rerun :o(

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:: 2003 25 May :: 1.02 am

do you ever feel like you're going nowhere fast?

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