buttercupistiny's Journal

buttercupistiny's Journal

:: 2008 15 August :: 9.11am

Right. So. Cleaning the bathroom is probably the most disgusting chore there could ever possibly be, and it's even worse because there is cat hair EVERYWHERE. It was so disgusting that I'm leaving the door closed from now on just to keep them out of there so I never have to deal with that again.

I have.. I wouldn't necessarily say a phobia, and I wouldn't really call it OCD, but I HATE when my hands get dirty, or when anything remotely gross comes in contact with them, and I absolutely HATE hair when it's not attached to someone's head. So yea. That was just the worst. Wet cat hair that won't come off of the wash cloth which forces me to touch it. Omfg. Gag reflex was definitely getting some exercise in that brief period of time. I probably did a half assed job too because I couldn't stand it, and I felt so disgusting =x

I STILL want to scrub my hands after I just spent like 5 minutes washing them in the kitchen sink.

I'm letting my stomach settle a little bit before I go back in to clean the mirror.
/sigh.

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duckie

:: 2008 13 August :: 2.32pm

Apparently the interview I had was for formality purposes, and the woman that Pj has been talking to told him that I was being hired regardless =]

Soooooooo YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
adhaskldjaskl;djasl;djas; =]]]]]]]]]]

I'm just waiting to find out my start date =]
Good bye Chase!

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duckie

:: 2008 13 August :: 9.50am

I completely lost the high that I was on yesterday.

I had my interview this morning, and I don't think it went well at all. She wasn't very responsive which makes it really hard for me to keep up the energy. Not only that, but I don't have any experience doing warehouse type things, and I was under the impression that I was going to get a 2nd interview right away based on a conversation that Pj had yesterday, and instead of getting a 2nd interview, she told me that she had 5 people coming back for 2nd's, and I wouldn't find out until the end of next week IF I even get a 2nd.

So I'm pretty much feeling like shit. I had to do that math test too. ffs. I haven't done math like that since fricken high school, so I'm not feeling too confident about that either.

She asked me if my current supervisor would say that I'm dependable, and I answered really defensively, and I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. I just keep thinking about how Becky threatened to cut my hours because I couldn't stay late one day, and she told me that I wasn't reliable.

Idk.

=\

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duckie

:: 2008 12 August :: 11.20am

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Interview tomorrow morning at 9am!
Wish me luck!!!!!

I am in SUCH A GOOD FUCKING MOOD. I just hope that it lasts until I get home ;] And even if it doesn't? I have the most INCREDIBLE boyfriend in the ~~whole fucking state of Michigan~~ ~~the Midwest~~ ~~the country~~ WORLD, and he excels at putting me back into my normal saychie mood =D =D =D =D =D

Omgggggg <333333333333333333333333

Okay! To work I go. Actually, gas first.. then work.

Have a great fucking day, kids =]

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duckie

:: 2008 11 August :: 7.15am

MC called on Friday to set up an interview. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to call back while she was still at work, but I did leave her a voicemail. I'm expecting a call from her sometime this morning to find out if I can go in on Tuesday morning or Wednesday to meet with her.

I don't normally remember my dreams, but there was a bad one this morning =[ Kelly and Pj got into a car accident, and Rachel and I were [obviously] crying in the emergency room while we waited. Apparently Pj wasn't waking up, and they kept saying it was because he was sleeping, not because he was in a coma. I was certain that wasn't true, because although he's a heavy sleeper, he's not impossible to wake up.

Needless to say I woke up this morning in tears, and I've been fighting the urge to call him to find out if he's truly okay. The only reason why I'm not is because he doesn't even carry his phone on him while he's at work, so I still wouldn't hear from him until around 2.

I'm really fricken tired, and I do not feel like going into work today and dealing with my manager for 9 hours. Sigh.

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duckie

:: 2008 8 August :: 7.22am

I am eagerly awaiting a phone call to set up an interview at MC Sports. I'm not sure I can properly express how excited I am! I'm trying really really hard not to get my hopes up too high in case things don't work out in my favor, but it's proving to be quite difficult =x Any possible hope of getting away from Chase makes me ridiculously giddy *le sigh*

The only thing that I can see being an issue is that I've never had any kind of experience in a warehouse environment, but I do have Pj and his amazing mom backing me, so hopefully that will make up for the lack of experience.

So with that, I hope everyone has a good day. I'll be in hell for the next 10 hours, but it's Friday so maybe today will go by fast.

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duckie

:: 2008 7 August :: 7.29am

First off: I hate Shawn.
Second? I think I now hate Amber and Amanda as much as I hate Shawn.

They're all friends or whatever on Facebook.

RECAP. I originally stopped hanging out with the girls because of Shawn. He didn't want me drinking all the time or smoking pot -- Fair enough. It's not a healthy lifestyle, not gonna lie. However, I could have handled things my way instead of the way that he wanted them handled. So we lost touch. I tried getting in touch with them SO MANY TIMES, and Shawn just fucking walks in and friends them like it's nothing.

IT'S NOT NOTHING. I had some of the best fucking times of my LIFE with those people, and memories that I couldn't burn out of my mind if I tried. They were there for me through my darkest days; they were the ONLY ones that were there. They were my family when I was certain that mine had turned on me, and they kept me sane.

I cannot describe the immense feeling of hurt that is coursing through my blood right now. I feel completely betrayed. COMPLETELY betrayed.

Of course when it boils down to it, it's my fault. All of it is my fault. I was vulnerable, and impressionable, so I listened to someone that I thought could have been looking out for me, and I think he was; he just didn't know the proper way to handle things.

The worst part is that I can't get rid of them no matter how hard I try. I can't forget them because they're EVERYWHERE. We all have mutual friends, people always fucking ask me if I've seen them, talked to them, heard from them. I can't get away, and the only way to do it is to completely let go of Waukesha and EVERYONE who I was friends with there, which isn't an option because that means losing Chassa which I can't/won't do.

Shawn claimed that he added Amber to find out what happened between us, and then Amanda just added him later. I sent him a text, and he said "who is this." REALLY. Is he seriously going to play fucking games with me?

I have to throw up.

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duckie

:: 2008 7 August :: 7.13am

I'm going into work to fill the teller cash dispenser machines, and then I'm coming straight home. Becky will probably be pissed, but my stomach hurts so fucking bad that my lungs ache when they breathe. I feel like I swallowed a bag of rocks, and I don't think I slept much.

I think it may be stress related, but I'll call my dad later to confirm/find out what I can do to make it go away.

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duckie

:: 2008 5 August :: 7.56am

I'm not so sure how I feel about my job anymore. My manager... yea. I don't like her. At all. She constantly revises my schedule and just assumes that it'll be okay, and then when it's not she makes a big fucking deal about it. Next Saturday I FINALLY wasn't scheduled, so Pj and I were going to go to a car show. Well she revised this week and next week's schedule and now I'm supposed to work next Saturday. Which would make it 6 Saturday's in a row that I would have to work, which only annoys me because she keeps saying that she wants to do 2 on 2 off. HOW IS THAT 2 ON 2 OFF. I'd REALLY like to know. Not only that, but she has BETH working too. I'm gonna try to talk to her today to find out if I can have off. Otherwise I'm just going to call in sick. Eff that S, imo.

When I worked at Best Buy, at least they had the decency to ASK YOU if you could stay later, switch days, or whatever needed to be done. They didn't just turn your shit upside down and assume you'll be okay with it.

Am I completely off base for getting so irritated about this, or is it justified? I want to say something to her like just asking if she could talk to me first before changing my schedule to make sure that it will work. This isn't about me needing to be more flexible, because I'm plenty flexible. I just don't take kindly to someone changing my shit around without asking first, and it makes me not want to do any kind of "favors." Work isn't my world, and I do have a social life. I just feel like I'm not being respected as an employee.

I think I need to start looking for new employment depending on how the conversation with my manager goes today.

=[.

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duckie

:: 2008 2 August :: 8.01am

Good weekend to come, imo? After teh werkz, that is.
Hopefully this whole "omg I'm sick" thing won't make me too irritable/tired.

Coast Guard Festivallll!!! Fireworkssssss. Camera is charged and ready to go so that I can FINALLY get normal and good pictures with muh Sayche and the boys. I hope it's not too unbearably hot though, although I'm sure it will be =]

Kk. TO WORK! <= I'm not excited, fyi. I just like caps. A lot.

Btw, I have the BEST boyfriend in the whole entire fucking world. Jealous? Good; you should be =] Btw Rachel, I don't want to hear you tell me that yours is the best. Let's just call it a draw and say they're tied, k? =P

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duckie

:: 2008 1 August :: 6.47am

Tried to say something to Slayer this morning, and yep. No voice. And I can't seem to clear my throat enough to get my voice back.

Work today is going to suck, especially if I don't start feeling better.

I just want to crawl back into bed and never come out =[

Edit: I lathered up with some Vick's and took a really hot shower, and that seemed to help a little bit as far as getting my voice back however not as far as making Miss Mandie feel on top of her game again =[ /fail.

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duckie

:: 2008 31 July :: 7.32am

Yep, I think I might be getting sick.
My throat fucking hurts. A LOT.
I haven't tried talking because.. I have no one to talk to, so that would just be weird, but I have a feeling that I don't have much of a voice.
I didn't sleep much at all last night because of how uncomfortable the throat hurting was.
Emotionally I'm feeling really clingy and on the verge of tears;
Typical "sick" feelings.

Becky went into the hospital to probably finally have her baby which means that it's only me and Beth.
Beth is on vacation all next week which means that it's only me.
I need to get two days off in September for the Wisconsin airsoft op, which I'm not feeling too hopeful about at this point
I'm really really tired =[
And I really really don't want to deal with people today.

At least I don't have to close =\

Hugs, plx?

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duckie

:: 2008 30 July :: 10.41am

Hm.
Ever since I started dating again, I've always found it really awkward referring to him as my "boyfriend," just because I'm 22 years old, and that term just feels so... high school-ish. I thought it was just the transition from once having a husband and then reverting back to bf, but apparently there are many adults that have the same struggle.

I should totally go back to school for sociology because stuff like this intrigues me to absolutely no end.

And good ole USA Today for supplying me with my daily dose of knowledge <3

Oh, and I totally think that this can apply to people who are in their lower mid 20's too; not just 25 and up.

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duckie

:: 2008 29 July :: 10.18am

Coast Guard festival on Saturday, and I'm reaaaaaaaaaly excited! Fireworks are love. Winning stuffed animals is love. Rides are love. Sayche is loveeee <3333 I have a feeling that it will be a really good weekend =]!

My schedule was revised since I took sole control over the cash dispenser machines which basically means that I fill them every Thursday morning, and I'm the only person in the branch that has the full code for them, AND I have teh keyz =] SO I no longer have to close on Thursday or Friday this week, and hopefully I'll be able to get out 45 minutes early on Friday since Becky and I ended up staying 45 minutes late last night to audit the TCD machines. *crosses fingers* I was at work for nearly 11 hours yesterday =[ That makes me sad hah.

I'm going to attempt to make BBQ chicken tonight... in the oven. So, we'll see how that whole thing turns out lol. I've never made BBQ chicken before =x I just hope the chicken is still good =\ It's been sitting in the freezer for awhile just wrapped in two plastic bags, so Idk if it's been wrapped well enough to prevent freezer burn.

Damn. I need to go to Best Buy today too. I think I'll wait til Pj gets home though, and maybe he'll want to go with me =]

kk, I need to shower and clean around here to keep myself busy. =]

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