i like hardly ever talk to kelly anymore. its like...i dont know. its sad. we told eachother that we would remain friends even though we broke up, but, yea i dont know. screw it. i guess what happens happens. it cant be stopped and it probably wont get stoped. i sent him sum emails....no reply. oh mikey asked andrea to marry her, and she said yes. sam and marc aint gettin married cuz they broke up. me and andrea is talkin right now, and i guess she didnt know about me and kell, cuz she asked how we were doin, and then i was talkin to her and she asked if i still loved him and i was like of course. u dont get over someone that played such a big part in ur life in 3 weeks. or at least i dont. anyways, she told me to ask him back out. but i cant can i?? god im talkin to a dumbass journal like it can talk back to me. i wish life were easy and it told u how to handle ur problems and gave u the answers to all our problems.
RachelElaine

hey, im talking to kelly sam and nic and its so freakin crazy. lol, but i love em and i couldnt live without them so i suppose ill live. oh kell just left, so now im stuck with being called skippy and listining to sam drone on and on about marc and joseph and all the other guys shes with or knows. ahh! i love em so i aint complainin. lol. i can slowly feel myself turning mad because of all of these hookers and hoes and demented ppl in here and around here and yea lol im goin crazy. i think ima gonna go, so see ya later. bye. (lol ashley is gettin all weird and demented and sayin all this weird stuff about how she got onto her dog so im crackin up right now and ima gonna geta headache from it, and now she just made fun of me cuz i have like NO ASS WHATSOEVER!!)
RachelElaine-goin craz-E

im home all alone this weekend. mom and dad have escaped to gramma and grampas little cabin by the lake (ahh!) and they is staying there till like tuesday or something. ashley went to samanthas and spent the night and then went to work and then to grammas where she shall stay for the rest of the day then its back to sam's untill mom and dad get back. taylor is at one of her little friends house, and then shes goin to gramma prewitts to stay and help with trevor untill they get back. and lonely ol' me is at home doing laundry, dishes, floors, and dusting. now, lets all say it together...."fun fun fun". i have a ton of homework. all the teachers found out that most of the school parties on the week-ends and so they pile on the homework in hopes that they will choose to do it instead of gettin drunk...and so we non-social ppl get stuck doing work on the week-ends, not that we have much else to do i guess. im kinda feelin weird today. well not just today, kinda all week. i dont exactly know what it is yet, but i hope that i find out soon. mom and i had a big fight last night, cuz i mouthed her and she like went psycho and started crying and screaming and saying she couldnt handle me anymore, and the results in that was me breakin down and crying, and yea it was a mess but a few hours later we worked it out. she said she needed to get away from home and work for awhile so thats what she did. hince the cabin by the lake. i miss everyone and im all alone and i hate it. i havnt even talked to kelly for god knows how long. i miss him. alot. its weird how much u think when left all alone, all the different things u can think of. iv lost alot of friends, but yet gained others. ok, well im kinda babbling so i guess i shall be going. later
RachelElaine (all alone)

today kelly and i broke up. im not going to say anything bad about our relationship, because there is nothing bad to say. we just ended up growing apart, due to technicle difficulties and then stupid school and homework. but were going to remain friends forever. and he said that he would still try to come down and see me this summer, so i hope that that happens. ill probably start crying when i see him, but itll be worth sheding a few tears over. right now im all cried out, but ill start thinkin about it later tonight and start em up. well ill be ok though but i gotta go right now.
RachelElaine

if i dont talk to kelly tonight, then thatll be da second day in a row : (
anyways, i really wanted to tell him this but we didnt talk. so anyways, in health & child care, we had to watch this movie about the process of becuming pregnant, and there was like a camera inside the "vagina" (lol mrs. ellis made us say vagina) and it showed the penis thrusting and all that good stuff. now we watched that for like 5 minutes and all the time it just kept getting faster and faster and yet again faster. then like all of a sudden he ejackulated. lol it was so fuckin gross. anyways it then followed the sperm to the egg and watched as one got inside of it and we watched as the baby grew and then we watched the mother giving birth. now, it wouldnt have been so bad if the freakin show was a cartoon thingy. but it wasnt. it was the real thing. real coochie and a real penis. ummumm!! lol aiight well i have to go. ash and i r STILL tryin to get our rooms in order.
RachelElaine

TO KELLY
i didnt get to get on the internet because mom was home right as i got done with the dishes, which is usually when i get on, and she wouldnt let me get on untill dad came home, and dad STILL isnt home, and so shes wiggin out and im mad because i didnt get to talk to kelly. i feel like screaming, but ill get in trouble, so i think that ill resort to punching the wall again ; ) oh shit we have pictures tomorrow and i still dont know what im going to wear and how im going to do my hair.....blah blah blah. shit i might have missed my only chance to talk to kelly, because tomorrow im going over to kaylas and spendin the night, and i dont know what time ill get home or what time or even IF hes getting on the internet on saturday, on sunday is, of course, church, and so yea now im even madder. oh i really hope that he gets on later tonight. oh, our 3 month anniversary is on sunday too, so if i dont get to talk to him im going to be REALLY freakin pissed.
oh btw i want a pizza really, extreamly bad, so i think that im going to go beg mom if shell drive out to stop&shop and order one!! umm sounds yummy!
RachelElaine

hum de dum cum. im bored and im putting off doing my homework, though i really shouldnt, cuz iv kinda got alot :( ne ways, this caint be long cuz sam wants to talk to ashley and so i have like just a few minutes cuz iv been orderd off the internet by her. ne ways me an kell r now back to talking full time. iv got so many freakin ppl on my "talk to" list or whatever u call it now and i dont know who they r untill they start talking to me. aint that sad?? oh well. anyways, kell wishes that he could have "a fuckin car so he can get around" well i just wish that i could have my damn driving liscens.....
RachelElaine

i guess i wont be seein much of kelly toinght. sounds as though he has quite a night layed out. yea tha loser in tha holler and i have no plans at all. i think ill just go lay out on the deck and get sum sun. yea that sounds good, though it shall be kinda cold in my bikini, but oh well. i look albino at the moment (ok not that bad, but u get what im sayin) anyways...jerry hasnt been around for a few weeks, im startin to get worried about him. hes the kind of guy u think about when u read about ppl who commit suicide and the rebels....but hes not like that at all. well ok he is a major rebel, but hes not the type to commite suicide...but then again they never are the type huh......
RachelElaine

i just got done watching a home vidio, and it had my granny in it and i started crying really bad. granny died dec. 21 of last year. it really sucked cuz that was my first christmas dance at school, and it was compleatly ruined. anyways, now my eyes hurt and i have a headache and my ribs still hurt and im mad/sad. its horrible. the only good thing about today was when i got to talk to kelly on msn for the first time. we talked for like 1 hour and maybe 30 minutes. we talked about nothing and everything. well iv still got some homework to finish up on so i guess ill be heading out.
RachelElaine

lol i dont know what kell will think of my mood...but hey i can only be honest right?? lol anyways i just got msn...and i have a total of 3 ppl on my buddy list. lol i have kell sam (not cr sam) an jo (bf) alright well im psyched and horny....to bad kell aint around *wink wink*. lmao hes gonna think im a feak now!
RachelElaine