Well well
I'm pretty buzzed. It's all good. I'm having fun.

I feel odd though... At peace. And not that buzzed at peace. I feel... like I'm moving on. Like a chapter of my life has passed. And it's scary and amazing at the same time. Things seem to be finally coming into place. And I'm really pleased. But, I'm anxious. No more running looking for help in the past. Cause, if I wish to live in the past, I might as well not exist. Right? I think so. And I'm not bored of living right now, so I shall keep on.

I feel the pull to leave again. And I love it. And loathe it. Cause I can't yet, but I will. I promise you that.

What do you think? I also have songs finished for my demo, "The Betty Page Bomb". Now to record.

The list;

Betty Page Loves Robots, Pt.1
Robots
It's Betty Page's Birthday
(Untitled)
Betty Page Loves Robots, Pt.2

Obviously, there is 3 themes here; Betty Page, Robots, and nonsense. And there is a lot of them all.

-------------------You've Got Everything Now-------------------
As merry as the days were long
I was right and you were wrong

Back at the old grey school
I would win and you would lose

But you've got everything now
You've got everything now
And what a terrible mess I've made of my life
Oh, what a mess I've made of my life

No, I've never had a job
Because I've never wanted one

I've seen you smile
But I've never really heard you laugh

So who is rich and who is poor ?
I cannot say ... oh

You are your mother's only son
And you're a desperate one
Oh ...

But I don't want a lover
I just want to be seen ... oh ... in the back of your car

A friendship sadly lost ?
Well this is true ... and yet, it's false
Oh ...

But did I ever tell you, by the way ?
I never did like your face

But you've got everything now
You've got everything now
And what a terrible mess I've made of my life
Oh, what a mess I've made of my life

No, I've never had a job
Because I'm too shy

I've seen you smile
But I've never really heard you laugh

So who is rich and who is poor ?
I cannot say ... oh

Oh ...
You are your mother's only son
And you're a desperate one
Oh ...

But I don't want a lover
I just want to be tied ... oh ... to the back of your car
To the back of your car
To the back of your car
To the back of your car
To the back of your car
To the back of your car
Oh ...
----------------------------------------------------------------
I fucking love Morrissey.

My my.
It's my stepdads birthday. Sweet. :D


Anywho, I am not asleep, which, as we all know, is normal for me.
I am sitting in the studio, I was playing keyboard for a while and then I started making more art on paint. lawl. So, now I am here, drawing and writing. Not just my woohu, a song. And its going well. Something about staying up all night is bombass and makes me think. So do cigarettes, which I have been smoking far too much of lately. Bleh.

My song is called "It's Betty Page's Birthday". Catchy title, I know. Been really clever lately. Woot.

My life, you electrify my life.
Haha, went on a date today. Lawl.

Went really well actually. She's 24. Got coffee and talked for a good 5 hours. Though I'm still missing Amanda quite a bit.

In other news, I was just kinda sitting around, bored on the comp and I started drawing some stuff on paint and I made a little album art/poster/cover art for my band.

Behold,

If Nostradamus Wrote Fortune Cookies!

The black box would be like information for a show or something. I like it, since I drew it all on paint, with just a mouse. The squid. >.<

Sleep...
She has returned. Sleep that is. But this is still good news. Very good.


Thought of a name for my nerdcore band.

If Nostradamus Wrote Fortune Cookies


Thoughts?

I don't want her to go..
I haven't been this genuinely happy in.... I don't even remember. I want to say since this last February. But maybe even more.

My friend Amanda, I think I've had feelings for her since I was 17... But I never acted on them. And I mean, its all good that I didn't because I've learned a lot and shit from the other relationships I have had.

Well, she goes to college in Fort Wayne and I haven't seen her in like a year and 7 months. And she was a very attractive when I last saw her then. So she told me she was coming up to Michigan to visit. And that she was gonna come to my house on the first day. So I told her we would have a small party and drink and such.

So she comes over and I open the door and I felt like my jaw dropped.. She is so gorgeous now. I was in shock. We went out for coffee and dinner and go the drinks and then my roommates came home and we played my sweet techno/house/rave dance mix and danced and drink and had a black light and markers that glow in it. Singing Sweeney Todd and such.

The night progresses and everyone's just chilling or sleeping and shit. She and I are just sitting there with everyone else in the basement, talking and stuff. And I was thinking of telling her how I felt and so we talked and I told her there was something I wanted to say, and we were both sober(I didn't even get a buzz going), and I was looking at her and we just started kissing. And I told her. And everything after was incredible.

Everyone else went to sleep, she and I just talked and cuddled and stuff in the basement listening to Bright Eyes. It was incredible. Shes so bombass, you have no clue.



But now, she's not here, she's with her other friends and is coming back I think Thursday night.

I just sucks cause it kinda just set in that I finally kinda shared my feelings for her and she did the same and she has to go back to Fort Wayne... And I'm in fucking Michigan. But she said she wants to come and visit me more often and Lunden (one of my roommates and her childhood chum) said that he would help me with gas for her to come and visit. So, we shall see how this goes.

But man, it just sucks, I've waited this long to tell her, now how long do I have to wait to see if something happens? I'm really at a lose here... I know what I want to do, but I don't know if I can do it. Or if I should.
--------------------------

--------------------------
Gah........ This is a lot to think about before work....

Fuck..
This is the only CD on my computer... I can't stop listening to it. This song though, it's so relaxing.

I just found out another one of my friends died.. I'm sick of losing people this way. I don't know what I'm trying to say.. I can barely see my keys.

This shit is getting ridiculous...

Merry Mother Fucking Christmas...
"Hey, Cubes..." Eryn and Josh

"Ugh.... Wha, huh?" I just woke up

"Ummmmmm, our bathtub is full of shit and piss..." Josh

"Ummmm, what?" Me

"Our bathtub is fuckin' full of shit." Eryn

"Uhhhhh, Merry Fucking Christmas." Me

-----------------------------Later------------------------------
"That was my dad and he was like 'Merry Christmas and get your shit together.'" Josh

"FUCK YOUR DAD! Mother Fucker." Me

Too many motha 'uckas 'uckin' with my shi'
Hahaha, I'm really tired. I want to go sleep. But I am stranded at Denny's... Fuck.

I'll make this more worthwhile after I get home and sleep.

Holy battery acid, Batman! Two posts in one day?!
Yes, that is right Robin. After braving the elements to get food and such. Run errands. Got my Nintendo 64 to work, finally! =]

Now that is not update worthy, I know. Or is it? My brain is scatterbrained.. Fail.

I just wanted to show my new peacoat. I love it.


What do you think?

Something about Jeff Buckley..
And a huge snowfall that is really depressing. Its so empty. Obviously, I did not get to go to California. I am still very much here. But, I will get out there sometime.

So, like totally, I am learning how to use the PA and recording program so I can start mixing the music my roommates record and start recording my own stuff as well. Cause we finished the recording studio. And it's soooooooooooooooooooo badass.

It's going to be a very lazy Friday. I also have an audio squencer to learn how to use, so I should really get on that.

California!? WHAT!
YES! YES YES! YES YES YES!!!!!!

Finally, I might be able to satisfy some of those urges to travel! For Micheal's car has broken down and he might not be able to come before he ships off.... =[

BUT! Josh said we could drive out there and get him. Four days! Of driving and a few hours to fuck around. But still! YES YES YES!!!! I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!

I just need to find someone to cover Tuesday for me.

Clearly I am not that popular
Hmmmmm, could it be that I don't post anything worthwhile? Or that I just started? I don't know. Maybe blogging isn't for me. It's much more difficult to capture my energy and emotion through text.

Webcam? Vlogging perhaps? Less typos that way. Not too sure what the original point of this entry was... I want to have a costume Christmas party. Any takers?

Oh, I beat Megaman 9. I know, nothing that special, but it made me a broken man(A boss on the next one?) and the fact I beat it with minimal effort afterwards and was very Zen(lawl) makes me very very happy.

And it scares the hell outta me And the end is all I can see
Nothing too much. We finally got in touch with Mike. He is on the boat, as I had thought. He will be here this weekend.

I am very excited. I think I found a cure for my money problems. But, do I want to go to "them" for help? It would make my traveling easier. I need to decide soon.

In Megaman 9 related news, I have defeated 3 of the first 8 robot masters. This is an achivement. These and the first megamans are ridiculous to the point that you want to kill yourself... Ummmm... Yes...

EDIT: 7:00 PM

I, although very frustrated, managed to beat the first 8 Robot masters! WOOT!

But, alas, Wily's castle is very very difficult... Eryn said she was gonna hide everything i can inflight harm on myself with.

I know we just met, but there's something about you.
Man, this has been a crazy weekend. I met a girl, tragically, shes from Chicago. I've only been this excited about a girl once and thats it. So its a disappointment. But I have been wanting to leave the state anyways. So maybe if we keep talking and things keep going well, I might be there. Though regardless, I will leave the state. Chicago or Vero Beach.

But I just got done watching Interstella 5555: 5ecret 5tar 5ystem. It's a movie based on Daft Punk's album "Discovery." It's surprisingly really good. If you enjoy techno and anime, this is for you. Even if you can't tolerate it, you should still watch it.

I really have nothing else at the moment other the I am very sick.