update
funkmasterwp : i know we can find someone, but one rule....no cp...thers no point in having a band if you cant stand one of the members
caffienatidjazz : so are you sayin you want a band?
caffienatidjazz : (a real band)
: of course i wanta band
caffienatidjazz : that meant more to me then anything youve done in the past 4 years
caffienatidjazz : score

update
funkmasterwp : i know we can find someone, but one rule....no cp...thers no point in having a band if you cant stand one of the members
caffienatidjazz : so are you sayin you want a band?
caffienatidjazz : (a real band)
: of course i wanta band
caffienatidjazz : that meant more to me then anything youve done in the past 4 years
caffienatidjazz : score

the band and my friend in a nutshell
: we should do alberquerque for band bar b q
: with the old band
caffienatidjazz : the old band sucks.
: but its really simple...so we could do it
caffienatidjazz : we havent accomplished anything in 4 years
: its 2 chords...the entire time
: it would be very funny
caffienatidjazz : ok...so you'd rather sink to a level under what you can play rather than try to evolve musically and play with different players because yer afraid of hurting someone's feelings?
: dont get into this....its just good fun
: im not commiting
: and it has some cool little solo licks
caffienatidjazz : but its not fun if we suck and its not fun for me to play with adam and john. all john does is say "hey, if we get the band back together you have to come to my house and record" and adam isnt very enjoyable when playing with.
caffienatidjazz : all i'm sayin is that you and adam and john are friends, but i dont think ive ever been tight with either of them. id do it to make you happy but
caffienatidjazz : hold on
caffienatidjazz : its not benefiting me at all. i dont mean to be selfish, but i quit the band (twice) for a reason. id rather start a new band and grow musically then restrict myself to that because i dont want to lose you as a friend/guitarist
caffienatidjazz : but if yer not willing to do that, then im gonna go ahead and form something new, creative, and fun
caffienatidjazz : any response at all?
: i just thought youmight wanna do somethin funny
caffienatidjazz : doing that would only commit you and me to adam and john more. and i dont want to do that. even if it is "for fun" its still a commitment, even though it may not seem that way to you
caffienatidjazz : i dont want to force myself to play with you adam and john for all of highschool. there are too many other opportunities
: so you dont wanna have a band with me?
caffienatidjazz : i dont want to restrict myself to having a band with adam and john if i want to have a band with you. if i want to play with you, i dont want it to always have to be john and adam too, which it has been.
: who else is ther?
caffienatidjazz ): ian plays keys
caffienatidjazz : there are many sax player
caffienatidjazz : s
caffienatidjazz : now i need a core
: good sax players?
caffienatidjazz : a lead guitarist and a drummer
caffienatidjazz : cp and jacob
: jacob?
caffienatidjazz : yes. remember, i told you before
: is this a new jacob, or jacob waters?
caffienatidjazz : jacob waters
caffienatidjazz : but yer missing the point completely
: you dont like to jam with us
caffienatidjazz : no. the point is that yer restricting yourself to adam and john with a closed mind when there are more people out there if you look and that having a band with john and adam is based around friendship, otherwise adam wouldnt be in the band, and being that im not good friends with john and adam i dont want to deal with that
: the thing is, thers no drummers...and john and adam come as a package
caffienatidjazz : no, you adam and john come as a package. up until possibly now, you didnt want to start another band without them because yer friends. and you live in princeton, and there is a whole highschool, we can find someone
caffienatidjazz : if im sounding like a jackass, forgive me, but im tellin you the truth

finkletoes
well school sucked. I had a math test (algebra 2...my class is me, another freshman and a bunch of sophmores)...i probly failed, but who cares. if i persue writing, or music, i wont need this shit. im just gettin by.
football sucked. im sweat soaked and freezing in this ac. eventually I'll take a shower. if i get around to it. maybe.
i sat alone at lunch today cos my "friends'" table was full. fuckers. i also lent my lunch card to a cool sophmore who then forgot to return it so i had to ask around for money until I had enough for a salad.

overall, things are lookin better. tomorrow I have a football game which I should be playing in and then my mom's 40th bday party. there should be some fine daughters there.

i have no motivation to play my bass. if i play, it wont get its deserved respect and id have to take a shower anyways. its sitting there, looking so beautiful. i need a new hobby.

im gonna go to some other website now. maybe ill find some friends.


-me

my friend
Freind: yeah it's hard
caffienatidjazz : im really sick of everything and everyone right now
: yeah i am a bit depressed myself but that is because i missed jazz band
: and some other reasons
: what about footbal
: and ned has always been cocky
): and adam and will always hung out together
: and john was always wierd
caffienatidjazz : i know
caffienatidjazz : jazz band sucks because he wont let me play anything but quarter notes. football sucks because im 3rd team for no reason, even though every play i go in, i either sack the quarterback or tackle the running back in the backfield
caffienatidjazz : and will sucks because he's unopinionated
caffienatidjazz : school sucks because everything im learning right now is pointless
caffienatidjazz : i have no friends
caffienatidjazz : i mean seriously
: whta happened
: aren't there some kool new kids
: what about jeff u can make up with him
: or sanj
caffienatidjazz : jeff is a baby. i cant stand talking to him.
caffienatidjazz : sanj thinks he's ghetto. im too white for him.
: wow
caffienatidjazz : i dont fit in anywhere.
: what about the women
: or jacob
: or charlie
: or someone
caffienatidjazz : jacob is cool, he's starting a leftist club but mr. tucker wont allow it so we need to get a teacher to moderate it...we're thinkin mr. stoltzfus. we have a lot of supporters already.
i dont know charlie at all.
the only cool girl is melissa and sara, but i blew that.
: oh

here's an example of the talent and potential of my guitar playin friend.


http://members.telocity.com/gopsan11/1.mp3

it's raining
It’s raining.
I get the feeling that I’m being prepared for nothing. Every day I wake up earlier than is healthy and every night I go to bed later than is should. The combination leaves roughly an 18 hour day. One hour each morning I spend getting ready for school. One hour each morning I spend sitting on hard pleather only somewhat conscious on my way to school. I live 10 minutes away from school. My bus arrives at school 45 minutes before school starts and for those minutes I spend doing my homework that I didn’t do due that day, sitting by my locker and eventually checking in with my advisor, who, for the first week of school welcomed me by not showing up to check me in. First period rolls along and I spend 40 minutes to an hour sitting in a hard, blue speckled chair thinking about next period. This practice continues until lunch and resumes directly after. During lunch, I eat a bagel or a pretzel, a snapple, and a salad topped with dressing I swear was made from the previous day’s lunch. At the end of the day I have football practice until 6:00. During this time I get yelled at, conditioned, and get the shit knocked out of me, occassionally getting the chance to knock another kid on his ass…then realizing my reward was nothing but a mouthfull of grass, mud caking on my eyelids. My dad picks me up, I come home without showering, and sit at my computer where I proceed to chat in online forums abuot music and the bass and playing my bass, all while pretending to do homework. At 10:00 my dad screams for me to go to bed. And doesn’t get off my case untill I do so. I go to bed. Repeat 5x, + 2 weekend days that consist of me sleeping and eating then repeat the quantity whole.
It’s raining.
Everyday I perform the same rituals in order to get a good education, prepare to get into a good college, where I will proceed to prepare to get a job in the real world, where I will spend the rest of my days maybe having a child and forcing it to repeat the same steps.
Tonight it’s raining, and I’m deciding whether I should do something with my life. I have two passions; the bass guitar, and writing. As I write, God is pissin on my house. Surrounded in darkness and the Sound of Urchin, I write while God pisses on my house.
It’s raining.

so far
so far school sucks. and blows. everyone there either sucks or blows. I don't truly believe I have more than one true friend, but he left for boarding school this year. I still keep in touch, but it's uncomfortable not seeing him everyday. My other aquantance is a long haired guitar player who is unopinionated, a follower, and probably just as depressed as I am as he was just diagnosed with carpal someshit (like carpal tunnel syndrome but in the elbows) so he can't play his guitar. He doesnt spend his money. I'd love to have a band, but he has his friends who I've had troubles in the past with and he wont start another without one or the other or both and one is a horrible ungifted cant-keep-a-beat guitar player. I made myself the bad guy because I have opinions and now he hates me.
I dont have many friends. I had a girlfriend for a few days but then realized I really dont want a girlfriend and left her there.....confused as hell. eh. its not my fault.

you guys caught me in a bad mood.