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:: 2004 1 February :: 8.59 pm

ah there is always time for one of these and i already have this oen filed out in past journal but i need a new one...okay!
last car ride:Coming home from dinner with my mom

last kiss: Louis

last good cry: I dont know i guess when my mom beat me with a brush like a million months ago

last library book checked out: Emily Dickinson

last movie seen:I went to see the butterfly effect

last book read: Virgin Sucides

last cuss word uttered: Shit

last beverage drank: Ice Tea

last food consumed: Coconut ice cream

last crush: my louie

last phone call:Lou

last tv show watched: Lilo and Stich the series

last time showered: in the morning

last shoes worn: My new god dam not as awesome as my old ones shoes

last cd played: screeching weasel

last item bought: Cup cake things my mom needed to make cupcakes

last downloaded: um i havent downloaded in forever

last annoyance: my side it ichy

last disappointment: Um erin couldnt go the the god dam fucking ,ovies...stupid bitch.

last soda drank: ew i hate soda

last thing written: ew i hate soda

last key used: Space bar

last word spoken: i love you.

last sleep: ah half assed sleep last night

last im: Dan

last sexual fantasy: um JUSTIN! haha erin...

last weird encounter:uh umm alot

last ice cream eaten: Um dude....coconut..

last time amused: ah golly im always amused

last time wanting to die: I guess id have to say... when kris left

last time in love: now

last time hugged:um with lou

last time scolded: um iduno

last time resentful: never

last chair sat in: well..this one

last lipstick used: Finding nemo

last shirt worn:"camp carnival" which is funny because the last time i filled this out i wrote that also which means i was wearing this shirt then which is odd being i never wear this shirt alot

last time dancing: i like to dance.

last poster looked at: sublime

last show attended:i dont know louis if that counts but if not the wraped tour and it that doesnt count the boucing souls and if that doesnt count then FUCK youSElF

last webpage
visited: woohu.com

:: 2004 28 January :: 9.56 pm

ouch
People say i dont update soo now i will updaate
i dont feel soo good right now because you know the same old reasons...
anyways today it snowed so now i have to go in to take my us test...dam snow.. im not going to pass because US is not my thing at alll..im soo bad at that history stuff

fuck im so bad at updating...thats all i got

:: 2004 12 January :: 6.08 pm

strange dreams
I had two very odd dreams last night. I never remeber my dreams but this time i do. First i had this dream that something happen to lou i dont know why and he was like dying and i was really upset and all. Me and i think erin went to the mall and looked at eye shadow. Yes my boyfriends dying and i think to my self....i need new eye shadow. Then i dreamed Kris came back and we went out to dinner. I picked him up in my car and he like gave me a kiss and put his arm around me like nothing ever happen like he never left. and then we went to my house and lou came over and we watched kris in my room going in this folder of pictures and negtives of him and me and he started putting all of them in his pocket so i went to ask him why he took them and he just left and lou was gone....ah im so weird but i find it odd i dream of lou dying and them kris and me together

:: 2004 10 January :: 4.29 pm

sometimes i think to much
So i was looking at someone stuff on my computer, liek pictures and my old journal. It makes me think how i really sometimes miss the old days. I love my friends now and all but it would have been nice to not have not lost some people i used to be close with. I was like talking to Holly about stufff we used to do the other day (not counting drugs and such) and it kinda made me sad because i guess i really did have alot of fun. Now its just the same old thing everyday. Im lucky im friends with Erin at least i have a girl i can talk to about stuff it was quite nice to get to talk about alot of things i cant with rios lou galler fingers and those kids. Even if i love them dearly i think they forget im a girl or something. Korky and i talk about stuff alot too...about kris. It makes me sad to think about how much we would laugh together like at the weirest things like Kris jumping out of busshes scream ET!.....I guesss its all better if i dont think about that kinda stuff...

:: 2003 20 December :: 10.46 pm

Update update update
So last night i sleept at erins...we played mario but around 11 30 crashed because we are losers and cant stay up late. Then we went to drivers Ed and DON! wasnt there and we reallly need to make up classes so it kinda sucks because we need to talk to him. Then me and Erin went to the mall to get Lou his presents one of which i already told him about and i have nooo money left. i found some care bear doll and some people gave me a free shrit. Then i came home and cleaned and louie came over. We sat downstairs and played mario from like 7-10 30 it was fun we got realllly far and no game overs unlike me and erin who suck so much together at that game but me and lou....awesome team. Anyways so no im here wondering if im going to someplace with ally tommorow night and its not looking so good so im kinda upset...but oh well

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:: 2003 14 December :: 10.42 pm

So today was the birthday...the day of my birth, a greeat day for sure. The day started out really sucky...you know with the snow and such but we ended up eating up applebees with Erin, Lou, Korky, Rios and Maybe. and lou got me a PONY! ...a my little pony... SO COOL amanda reed got be a cotton candy machine SOOO MUCH COOOOOOOOLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and erin got me a hermit crab whos name is Herman...hehe after eating we came here nad played mario and donkey kong and such and lou kicked my ass. and now the birthdays over and im no longer special.

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:: 2003 13 December :: 1.45 pm

so tomorrow is my birthday and i still dont know what i am doing for it ah

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:: 2003 4 December :: 6.30 pm

Hmm so last night me and amanda went to the gym. Its was fun and we both really liked it there i think. Im going to become a memeber so i can get my fat ass i shape and stuff. '

Oh and who ever left the so your just realizing your a bitch now comment well i know im a bitch and ive none for a while and if u want to comment in my journal leave you fucking name

:: 2003 2 December :: 6.38 pm

Please someone tell me why i feel so sick because ive worked so hard to not feel this way..
For some stupid fucking reason i find my self feeling so bad for everything ive said and done to Kris and i just dont know. Im so counfused with everything. What is happening to me.... i thought i was better but im rong... i really dislike my self and how mean i am and how i am a ass and i just dont know i hate my self soo much and i dont reallly blame anyone who does because im not really great and i just suck alot and yeah

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:: 2003 24 November :: 3.56 pm

Im really sick of the comments and i know its the same people ever time. i dont really care if you dont like me because i have enough friends and i dont need people like you :)

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:: 2003 23 November :: 10.58 am

Im really geting anoyed with people leaving coments in my journal but i dont even think i should say People i should say one person because its always the same old shit....Just end it...its funny how people say they dont like someone but spend so much time commenting and reading the person online journal....its really cool!

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:: 2003 22 November :: 5.31 pm

another hole in my ear
Today i went and got a new ear piercing. I got my Tragus.
At first i wanted my Conth on my ear but i was so scared and ally brought up a good point we both have noses and industrial so its enough haha so then i was going to get a vertice tragus but the lady who did my ear said it would be hard to do and i can always get another tragus piercing and make it into a verticle so i got the Tragus .....not to pain full but it took her a while to get the cork on so it kindy hurt and she scrathed my conth a little bit but you cant reallly telll

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:: 2003 20 November :: 6.20 pm

I made Honor role oh yes i did
I got my report card
Construction Desigh Modeling: B+
Earth Science(yes i know im didnt take it last year and falied in 9th): B
English: B+
Math: A
U.S History: C+ :(

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:: 2003 17 November :: 6.19 pm

i feel the need to write about this thing that happen at work last thrusday because im bored and i feel as if i must. This little girl Haley, SOOO CUTE got alll mad because i told her to put her stuff away and so did the those three ladys. She told me i wasnt a real teacher and i was just a kid so i told her i am a kid and yes i am not a real teacher but i am older then you and i was put in this program to make sure you do everything as your told and she went over and did it. Then we are like chating it up about finding nemo and sheirk and BOOM she goes nuts. shes runing around the room climbing up windows having a grand old time so me and Katey the other lady are like chasing her to get down and she ends up over by the table and we tell her to sit down and she wont so we push her down not mean like but enough to keep her down and she starts kicking, screaming biting all that goood stuff We at one point had her like locked in the bathroom because she was soo bad and she was craking up! she thought it was sooo funny. so it goes on for like an hour and im like all biten and shit and the mother told me she has ADHD...so nice of her to wait to tell us. she made her say sorry but i felt bad i was scared her mom was going to like beat her.....

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:: 2003 16 November :: 11.53 am

Last night was louies first show at castle golf. That place is really uncool and ugly lookin. They did okay i guess but the trouble was most of the kids there....didnt like that kinda music so it sucked. There all emo kids who came to see locker47 and patentpanding....so yeah. But they did good i think.

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:: 2003 11 November :: 9.24 pm

Alright it tuesday and today we had off. I kinda just had a lazy day and i didnt do much. My dad let me drive him around because we needed to get dinner and he was sick. Then we brought soup and ate together. Louie callled me to come to Gallers then to this kid Gregs for double band practice but i dont like watching it for a long time and too of them meant really long of watching. I stayed home and sleeped and did my homework....

Last night however after work i came home and Dimo, lou and galler came over. We wathced parts from "the last house of the left" and lou and dan played video games. Then we went to the mall and i saw kerri and Jon and i went to say hello and i walked over to them and i didnt even see him but i was standing right next to russ. He didnt do anything...he just looked and me and i told him if he does do anything my friends will kick him ass. Then we went to borders to give out flyers for the band.

:: 2003 8 November :: 7.47 pm
:: Music: Oasis

Sammys here
umm well someone called me a "druggie" on line by the screen name "craperjackerrr89" and i dont get it because well... i dont do drugs... so how am i "druggie". People piss me off alot. Just leave me alone and if you dont like me i dont care because i probaly dont like you anyone. I dont get it we are in high school and your still acting like a child just grow up
i dont understand why people go out of there way to say something mean to someone they dont like or care aboout. If you really dont like me then dont worry about me and my life. I just want people to FUCK OFF

oh and i love sammy.

:: 2003 22 October :: 2.40 pm
:: Mood: annoyed

god dam im so sick of peoples shit
Look Russel i hope your fucking reading this, you want to start something with me go ahead. I have a million people who would have my back, and i dont eve need those people because i could kick you ass all by my self. Kris is gone and since he left all you been doing to making me feel worse. Its not my fucking fault. He didnt have to do it and yes i feel bad i feel fucking bad everyday, but there is nothing that can be done about it. Dont tell me that i didnt get in trouble for any of it also because i got in tons of it. Your a fuck and i dont even do anything to kris i dont make fun of him anymore. Ive came to realize hes my friend and always will be and i havent made any mean comments towards him in a long time. So Russel shut up, its reallly no longer needed and im sure Kris wouldnt like to hear how you been treating me also

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:: 2003 19 October :: 10.56 am

so lets see
Yesterday i had to get up early for my stupid award thing. Lou came to it. It was weird i was like the only non poor black person there. Not like there is anything rong with black people just that i was like one out of the two white girls there and there where i belive 59 kids geting awards. Anyway after that we went out to eat with my mom and dad. Then me and lou ran around toys r us for a little while. Then my parents took us over to the movies so see what was playing and we went to see the texas chainsaw massacure. It was pretty stupid. Then we went out to dinner a little while later. and then we went to my house and watched gremlins

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:: 2003 7 October :: 8.22 pm
:: Mood: my head hurrts
:: Music: taking a study brake

So yesterday...
Alright we had off monday so my louie came over. We hung out all day and he ate and we watched holes, for a little. Then my brother woke up cause hes a fag. Then we went upstairs and got my easy bake oven because easy bake ovens are the coolest. We tried to make cookies but i am a sped and some how got that little tin it comes in stuck behind the thingy. We had to open it up to get the cookies out and then lou didnt want to eat them, next time i think its best we bake a cake. Then after that my brother pointed out that why didnt we just bake a real cake if we are siting in the kicten anyways...and lou agreed but i dont because the easy bake oven is the fun of it with out it its just Baking....its not a fun time really. Anyways my brother made us chicken fingers and then my dad came home. Lou helped me trie to find my phone but i still cant so my dad just took this huge old shit one and put my number in it so i can use that phone as my other one till i find it....hes a nice man....anyways then we walked to my KB toys interview and i got the job....go me now i gots 2 of them...fun....then we hung out and got louie ice cream....after that we came back to my house and watched a muppet movie and lou skiped practice for like the first time ever and ate dinner over. and since he came shoping with me and my dad he picked out a cake he liked and no one else seams to be eating it so hes going to have to next monday....

Today we went to school...i had drivers ed and it sucked cuz its early...then in my 9th grade earth science class because i failed it back in the day and never took it over this kid i belive his name is jeff told me he wanted to shot everyone in the school...so i was as nice as one can be to someone...then we went in the hall to trace something thru a window and i lost him and i got scared. Hes insane i think, like real live crazy.....ah then i came home and my dad took me for a drive and now im studing because i have this vocab test in english and so far its hard so i need to pass its ....i dont know 8 out 22 words so far...ahh.

:: 2003 5 October :: 12.40 pm

I cannot find my freaken cell phone...so anoyed

:: 2003 27 September :: 10.14 am

I just love coming the my journal page and seeing a fresh new comment and i love even more when its mean...its so nice to know people go out of there way to call me an asshole, as if i dont already know. I dont care what people say...i know not everyone likes me and im okay with that....so yeah

:: 2003 21 September :: 7.21 pm
:: Mood: cheerful

Today was an okay day
Alright so today me and Sammy went to ihop. It was nice because i cant remember the last time i went there. I ate pancakes too which made it even nice because pancakes are so cool. While we waited i went to look at cds, and because i dont spend my money and because i had some on me...i bought some cds. Then we went to St.James day. We got color books at king kullen and colored. Then sammy went to her friends and i walked with fingers and rios. Lou came but i didnt get to see him for long because i had to go home at 6. So now im home

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:: 2003 15 September :: 3.00 pm
:: Mood: i dont even know anymore
:: Music: A.F.I _ morning star

im siting here being bored and stuff.....i start drivers ed tommorow morning. Yes im a loser i take morning drivers ed. At 620-705....i kinda think it s better that way...because then i get to go home after school. i also have it thrusdays....and saturdays i get to driver. im kinda scared ill crass...that be a shame wouldnt it. I kinda wish i had drivers ed with a friends but its not so bad....just like how i have classses with out close friends. im reallly geting alot more done. like in math and earth science....in english the classs is full of people i love but im good at english.
School really good this year. i got 2 lunches both with louis....and i really love all my classes... i love english its so fun and i just reallly hope i do goood because i want to goo to collage soo bad and i want to do good and stuff ... i looked at schools....i think lou thinks im to stupid for school...yeah welll

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:: 2003 13 September :: 1.07 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: none

SO
Lets see yesterday i went to Amanada's house. Britt and Ryan where there and we had a nice time..eating soup and such. Then Louis called and said they would come pick me up so Brickman came and got me and we drove around and stuff. Then we ended up at boreders cold and with nothing at all to do. Dan came and drove around with us pointlessly. Then we went to boreders where we found fingers. Then rios called and we went to get him and Dan droped me and lou off at louise house.

:: 2003 6 September :: 9.25 am

So i got all new classes.....they wont take me of of earth science stupid people class till my dad talks to some people so it looks like im stayiing....i guess its alright..ill pass it.....then i have us....and after that i gots english with korky joe alshley amanda ALL THE COOL KIDS. and i love my english class so muchos........then i have study skills because ya know im stupid and after that there this "drama workshop" that i want to drop so much but my parents tell me to stay...ill try it but its with 9th graders and i dont like that.......then i gots lunch....1st year ever i have a lunch thats not like everyother day or half a year. anyways then i got math with mr solummen hes the man and i did goood the 1st day so he let me do my problems on the board....hes so cool man....then i have some deisgh class with holly and then i got home....oh and half the year i have adv photo 6th and gym 9th half....iits cool

:: 2003 4 September :: 7.27 pm

so photo sucked i hate that school so much so what did i do today well i droped it. yes already after one day of sucking i got rid of it....so im back at smithtown

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:: 2003 1 September :: 8.00 am

so im siting here not in my dunkin donuts clothing when i had work about 20mins ago...because there all wet so im drying them...and im just thinking how today really is it....the last day to not do anything all day and not worry about school....tomorow the summer is over and its time to get started..its not so bad tho....im looking foward to photo....i hope it doesnt suck...when i went to vist it didnt seam like anyone was really into it...it was more like i dont like school or work so im going to take a photo class because its easy....and like the teacher did everything really half asssed....like he didnt care too much or care enough to make sure everyone did there work....and he smeleed like mr neddles.....

:: 2003 30 August :: 10.39 pm

well today was my "party." It was fun and all but i guess i should really use the word party because it was really 8 kids at my house eating and playing games. Lou, Billy or the beave i dont know whats that all about, fingers and rios, dan, brian, galler and everyone else didnt come for what ever reason.. We ate, we played games we watched harret the spy. It was fun then later we went to the carnvial which sucked so baad so we left and just hung out and well thats it

:: 2003 28 August :: 3.25 pm

Heres the deal. Im going to have a party on saturday. with fun things like pin the tale on the donkey and clown ring thing. Its going to be fun, in my eyes. Id like anyone who wants to, to come...its at my house so call me or talk to me online and dont be shy
3601332 house
or
6788562 which is my cell

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