I've come to a conclusion:

I was meant to be alone.

Whenever I find friends, I always do something to fuck it up. I don't know why it happens, or what I keep doing wrong, but I always lose them.

I've decided that most people (mainly at Roland Grise) don't actually like me. Everyone acts all buddy-buddy with me... Then they either talk about me behind my back, or don't act like real friends. I had so many good friends last year... We said we'd keep in touch and always be close... But I can't say I've talked to many of them more than a few times over the past year... So the number wound down this year, and it keeps getting smaller and smaller.

No one spends time with me anymore. The past few days at lunch/break I have found myself alone. No one cares. No one even notices.

I made it without friends for 12 years... Then people finally started to get to know me, and befriend me. You guys don't have to pretend to like me. I can go on without you. Trust me, I know how. Please... Just don't fuck around with it. Friendship means a lot to me, because I don't find it in many people.

I'm not asking for sympathy.
I just want you guys to be real.
Tell me what I'm doing wrong, and I'll try to fix it.

1 Heart | Broken Hearts