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2004 11 August :: 7.00am
:: Mood: Depressed
:: Music: Slipknot- The Vermillion Pt. 2
To cry is to know you're alive..
So I haven't updated in a while, but alot has happened recently. I'll put alot, but there's some things I'll leave out... But it's not like anyone reads this anymore anyways.
Friday- Michael came into town around 5. My parents had left for somewhere out of town, I don't know where... But Renee was here from the previous night. But Michael came, and we hung out with him, and Renee was all over him and stuff. Then she left, and Jenn came to stay with us. So Michael was talking and getting to know everyone, and we watched TV for a while. There wasn't really an extra bed, so Michael and I were sleeping in my brother's room... We talked for a long time, then it got kind of quiet, and we were just kind of looking at eachother. He asked me if there was anything I'd like him to do, and I didn't know what to say, so I just kind of stayed quiet.. and after a couple of seconds, he said 'I've got an idea', leaned over, and gave me my first real kiss... After trying to sleep for a while, we got up and Michael put on this jester hat and was walking around the house. Then it was like 3 in the morning, and Jenn told us to go to bed.
Saturday- Hell, Saturday, we woke up at like noon, and Carly, Jenn, Eli and I went shopping... I got some pants, and a pinstriped skirt... Then we went to Subway and came home... After just sitting around for a while, Keely and Aisha came over... He really liked Keely alot and kind of ignored me for her. But then they left and that night Stef came over drunk, and he kissed her. We stayed up til like 4 or 5 just talking, and being funny... Then he woke up at 6:30, and I did at 9.
Sunday- Keely, Michael and I went to the mall for a while.. It wasn't that fun, because once again, Michael was only talking to Keely... I really don't want attention or anything, but it was like he didn't talk to me at all. Keely didn't either really... But then Keely left and we ate dinner at Ruby Tuesdays... Then we went to bed... I think he kissed me again... but then, we had this really long talk about how he thought he was in love with Keely, and how he was sorry, and that he didn't mean to make me fall for him, then tell me he was in love with my best friend... He told me how he could see it in my eyes how it hurt me, and that he could see through the forced laughs and the fake smiles... He's the only person who has really seen past those... But then we went to sleep...
Monday- Jenn woke me up at 6, and told me to get out of the same bed as Michael because my parents were coming home.. So I got up, cried for about an hour, then went back to sleep until around 11. My parents got home around 12, then we went to Keely's... Wow, I don't think anyone's ever seen me cry before then... Aisha was such a help, and Rhianna was too... (Thanks you guys) Anyways, Michael and Keely only paid attention to eachother as always... And he kissed her. Not a long kiss or anything, but a kiss. So while they were all lying in eachothers arms and stuff, I couldn't take it, so I went outside... And I told Aisha everything that had happened... And I cried.. But then Keely and Michael and Rhianna came out, so we walked to Rhianna's. Keely and Michael kept walking together. But anyways when we got there, she let him read her journal which had stuff about how she felt about him and stuff.. And all the while I kept having to leave the room with Aisha... (Heh, you broke the surface tension) But then we decided to leave, and we walked to the golf course, walked around a while, then went back to Keely's... Then we just hung out, and me and Michael had to go home... That whole time, Aisha and Rhianna were the only people who saw me cry... It just shows how little attention Keely and Michael were paying me... When we got home, we chilled with the family for a while, and then went to bed...
Tuesday- Michael was actually supposed to leave on Tuesday, but his grandma was having car problems... But that day, Keely came over, and he was all depressed and shit because he had taken his medicine the night before... So he left for a while, and took 8 fucking pills... The most he'd ever taken before was 2. So he was all weird... But that day, he kissed Keely for real... And I wasn't there or anything, but I cried... I sat in my room and fucking cried, and there were 5 people upstairs on the same floor as me, and nobody noticed... Which I was happy about. But then Keely had to leave for orientation... After Keely left, Amy was here, and she was giving the already depressed Michael a hard time about his long hair or whatever... And she told me I was ruining my life by hanging out with people "like him"... So he was pissed/depressed, so he went upstairs, and fell on the ground (Result of taking the 8 pills).I was so scared, I really thought he was going to die... So after we figured out he was okay, we got him to the bed, and I just layed with him for a while... His hair smells so good... I'm going to miss it... But then he got up and we gave him some food and water, and we hung out downstairs, then some of his friends took him for a party... While he was gone, I was talking to Warren (he's good to talk to when you're in a bad mood), and I left the computer for a while because my dad was yelling at me, so he rode his bike over to see if everything was okay... So he hung out here for a while, and Michael came home and got to meet him, then he had to go home... After a while we tried to watch the SouthPark movie, but the TV kept fucking up... So Michael went to bed. I lyed with him for a while until Eli came in, so I left and talked on AIM for a while, then Andrew called and I talked to him until like 3 in the morning. I love that kid, he's so fun to talk to.
Today- Woke up around 10... Called Keely and Aisha, and they came over at about 11:30... Then we hung out until Michael had to leave at 2. His grandma came, and we helped him pack his stuff, then he kissed me (just a peck) and informed me that I had just kissed Keely. Heh. When I went downstairs to get his bracelet for him, he kissed Keely again (a real kiss)... Then after millions of hugs and kisses on the forehead, he left... And he's gone. So Keely and I were depressed and Aisha just likes ice cream, so we made this giant bowl of ice cream and ate it, and had some pizza... Then Keely had to go to marching band, and Aisha stayed. We got in the hot tub for a while and listened to music, then we took a shower outside ^_^ It was fun. (We were still wearing bathing suits, though, sillies.) But we started singing the elmo song and this puppy ran up to us, and my dog peed on it... O.o Eh heh... But I just went to orientation and the classes I'm in are--
Advanced Chorus- Mr. Riel
Family Consumer Science- Mrs. Yeoman
Science- Mrs. Johnson
Social Studies-Mr. Moore
Math- Mrs. Connors
Language Arts- Mrs. Glasgow.
I don't know if those are in the right order though. I don't have my schedule in front of me.
But these past days have been crazy, and I've felt every emotion there is to feel... I've been the saddest I've ever been, and very close to the happiest... But all in all... I'm just sad that summer is fucking over and school starts in ONE FUCKING WEEK!!
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Broken Hearts
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2004 2 August :: 8.11pm
:: Music: Black Mages
The Village
Well right now I'm at Doug's house. Loads of fun.
We just saw The Village. It sucked. The things in the woods are not rea--- WHAT THE FUCK!!?!? Doug just like put his head on my shoulder. O.o...
Anyways....
Yep...
Andrew is a sexy beast. *cough*
And uh... that's all.
LUIS, DAVE AND MICHAEL ARE THE HOTTEST GUYS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!
Broken Hearts
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2004 6 July :: 4.36pm
*sigh*
Yeah. Mycomputer's brokenso hereI am, in the Keys, updatingmy journal at the Public Library... I know, lame. I doubt anyonewill even read this though. Thisspace bar is messedup. Ugh...
Anyways...I've beenin Florida for quite some time now... I've been toJacksonville and Orlando, andnow I'm in Islamorado. I think that's what it'scalled...Idon't even know. I guess for the most part it's been fun. I got the HIM LoveMetal CD. I'm happyabout that. Therewas a Virgin Records in Orlando, so they had imports... And, yeah...I don'tthink anyones going to be reading this, so it'sreally quite pointless.Oh well...
I misspeople. If you're readingthis, call me sometime. Please.(264-3262.)
Alright. That's all fornow... <3
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2004 10 June :: 1.33pm
Leave it to parents for a nice self esteem booster.
"Dana, I swear you're going to be the death of me and I hope you know that."
Thanks.
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2004 8 June :: 8.02pm
:: Mood: Bored to no extent.
I know no one will actually read this, but shit, I was bored as hell and had nothing else to do.
º°* B A S I C | Q U E S T I O N S *°º
[001] Name: Dana McIntosh.
[002] Middle name: Wells. *gags*
[003] Gender: Female.
[004] Birthday: March 25.
[005] Height: 5'7" I think.
[006] Hair color: Dark brown.
[007] Eye color: Hazel.
[008] Nationality: Scottish, Irish, Cherokee Indian and Canadian.
[009] Is your hair long or short: It goes down to the middle of my back.
[010] Siblings: Younger brother and older sister.
[011] Zodiac sign: Aries.
[012] How many languages do you know: One.
[013] Status: Taken.
[014] Piercings you have: None.
[015] Piercings you want: Maybe my ears.. or nose.
[016] Tattoos you have: None.
[017] Tattoos you want: None.
[018] Today's date: June 8, 2004.
[019] Time of day: 10:10 PM.
º°* S C H O O L *°º
[020] Are you still in school: Yes.
[021] Did you drop out: See the question above.
[022] Favorite grade: I wouldn't really know. I haven't really enjoyed a grade. I guess 7th.
[023] Least favorite grade: I don't know. I'll have to wait and see, considering I haven't quite made it to High School yet.
[024] Favorite teacher : *shrugs*
[025] Least favorite teacher: Mrs. North.
[026] Favorite subject: I don't really like any. I guess Language Arts.
[027] Least favorite subject: All of them.
[028] Do/did you buy lunch or bring it: Both.
[029] Play any sports on the school's team: I did girl's lacrosse for a year.
[030] Are/were you popular: Oh yeah. That's me. Little Miss Popularity.
[031] Most humiliating moment: I don't really get humiliated.
º°* F A V O R I T E *°º
[032] Number: I don't know. 18.
[033] Clothing brand: I don't know..
[034] Shoes: Converse.
[035] Saying: "Nobody dies a virgin, because life screws us all."
[036] Tv show: South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons, Chapelle's Show, Home Movies and Invader Zim.
[037] Sport: I don't favor any.
[038] Vegetable: Celery.
[039] Fruit: I like pretty much all of them.
[040] Movie: Jackass the Movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, and all of the CKYs, I guess..
[041] Magazine: I don't really read magazines.
[042] Candy: Sour Jacks.
[043] Gum: Extra Wintermint or Juicy Fruit Strappleberry.
[044] Scent: Divine.
[045] Ice cream flavor: Mint Chocolate Chip.
[046] Color: Black.
[047] Season: Fall.
[048] Holiday: Halloween or Christmas.
[049] Type of music: Rock.
[050] Thing in your room: My bed or my stereo.
[051] Band: Atreyu, I guess. I like alot, though.
[052] Books: Speak, Cut, and Thirsty.
[053] TV channel: Comedy Central.
[054] Junk food: I don't know..
[055] Overall food: I don't know. Hot wings, I guess.
[056] Shoe brand: Converse.
[057] Fast food: Is Subway fast food?
[058] Restaurant: I guess... the Mellow Mushroom.. I don't like resturaunts much..
[059] Shape: A heart... or a triangle diamond.
[060] Time of day: Dusk.
[061] Country: Canada.
[062] State: I guess New York. I haven't been many places outside of North Carolina.
[063] Boys name: Seth, Cody or Storm. I don't know.
[064] Girls name: Stella, Scarlett or Ireth... Donno.
[065] Mall: Well, there's only one mall I've ever been to
[066] Car: None.
[067] Word: Damnit.
[068] Month: October or December.
[069] Disney character: Jack Skellington.
[070] Scary movie: I don't know...
º°* T H I S | T H A T *°º
[071] Rock or rap: Rock
[072] Rock or pop: Rock
[073] Rock or r&b: Rock
[074] Rap or pop: Rap.
[075] Rap or r&b: Rap.
[076] Rap or metal: Metal.
[077] Pop or r&b: Neither.
[078] Pop or metal: Metal.
[079] r&b or metal: Metal.
[080] Selena or J.lo: Neither.
[081] Hot or cold: Cold.
[082] Winter or summer: Winter.
[083] Spring or fall: Fall.
[084] Shakira or Britney: Neither.
[085] MTV or VH1: MTV.
[086] Football or basketball: I don't like either really. I suppose football is more fun to watch.
[087] Skiing or snowboarding: Snowboarding.
[088] Rollerblading or skateboarding: Skatebording.
[089] Black or white: Black.
[090] Orange or red: Red.
[091] Yellow or green: Green.
[092] Purple or pink: Purple.
[093] Inside or outside: Depends.
[094] Weed or alcohol: Neither.
[095] Cell phone or pager: Cell phone.
[096] Powerpuff Girls or Charlie's Angels: ...
[097] Scooby doo or dino: Scooby Doo.
[098] Tattoos or piercings: Neither.
[099] Coke or pepsi: Pepsi.
[100] Flowers or candy: Flowers.
[101] Tall or short: Tall.
º°* H A V E / W O U L D | Y O U | E V E R *°º
[102] Pictured your crush naked?: Nope.
[103] Actually seen your crush naked: Nope.
[104] Been in love: No.
[105] Cried when someone died: Yes.
[106] Drank alcohol: Not enough to count for anything.
[107] Lied: No. But that right there is a lie.
[108] Eat crap for $1,000,000: I really don't think so.
[109] Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: No.
[110] Lie to the police: I don't think so.
[111] Run from the police: In a way...
[112] Lie to your parents: Yeah.
[113] Walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Nope.
[114] Walk out of a restaurant without paying: Nah.
[115] Flashed someone: Nope.
[116] Told the person you liked how you felt: Yeah.
[117] Gone to jail or juvi: I've been there, but not in a cell.
[118] Stolen anything: Nothing that counts...
[119] Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: Nah. Keeps my mind off of.. stuff..
[120] Kicked someone's ass: Yep. It wasn't a fight, I just kicked them in the ass.
[121] Broke a beer bottle: Root beer bottle. ^^;;
[122] Gotten into a bar, under-aged: I think I could if I wanted to. I don't see the need for it, though.
[123] Wanted someone of the same sex: Keely.... Just kidding. No.
[124] Gone on a road trip: Nope.
[125] Gone on vacation without adult supervision: Not exactly.
[126] Been to a concert: Yeah.
[127] Been to another country: No.
[128] Talked back to an adult: Uh, yeah.
[129] Got pulled over: Nope. Can't drive.
[130] Been in a car accident: Yeah.
[131] Broke a law: I think so.
[132] Given money to a homeless person: Yeah.
[134] Tried to kill yourself: ...No.
[135] Cried to get out of trouble: When I was younger, yes.
[136] Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No.
[137] Kissed a brother or sister's friend: No.
[138] Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: I don't cook.
º°* P R I V A T E *°º
[139] Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: Yes.
[140] Do you have a crush: ...If you consider my boyfriend a crush?
[141] Do you love anyone right now: I love a lot of people. I am not in love though.
[142] Have you ever been in love: Nope.
[143] How many people have you kissed: None.
[144] Who was your first kiss: Please see the above answer.
[145] How many hearts have you broken: I don't think any.
[146] How many people broke your heart: I don't know. I think... one. But that was stupid, so I'd rather consider it none.
[147] Best quote to sum up love: I don't know. I know a word, though. And that word is "confusing."
[148] So what is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush like: Always able to make me smile or laugh.
[149] Do you have a picture of him/her: Yep.
[150] Please post it if you do: Nope.
[151] Do you have a picture of yourself: Yes.
[152] Please post it if you do: Nope.
[153] Do you go by looks or personality: Personality.
[154] Ever kiss a friend: On the cheek.
[155] Are you still friends: Uh, yeah.
[156] Do you smoke: Nope.
[157] Do you smoke weed: No.
[158] Crack, heroin, anything else: No.
[159] Beer good or beer bad: What the hell?
[160] Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: Nope.
[161] Do you like smirnoff ice: Haven't tried it.
[162] Prefer beer or liquor: Neither.
[163] What kind of cigarettes do you smoke: Please see question 156.
[164] Are you a virgin: Yep.
[165] If not, when was the last time you got some: Oh it goes way back to.. never.
º°* Y O U R | F R I E N D S *°º
[166] Best friend: I don't really have a best friend... I don't like to single people out.
[167] Known longest: Alec.
[168] Wish you talked to more: Bethany.
[169] Wish you saw more: Dustin.
[170] How many friends do you think you have: *shrugs*
[171] Who drives you insane after a while: I am not at liberty to say.
[172] Who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: I don't know..
[173] Who's the friend you fight with most: No one, really.
[174] Craziest: Seth or Sam.
[175] Loudest: Doug?
[176] Shyest: Bethany.
[177] Best hair: Dustin.
[178] Can always make you laugh: Pretty much all of them.
[179] Best eyes: Dustin.
[180] Best body: Definately Randy. =P I don't know. I don't really check out my friend's bodies... let alone anyone's bodies...
[181] Most athletic: Riley.
[182] Most impatient: Donno.
[183] Shortest: Melissa.
[184] Tallest: Donno...
[185] Talented: Me! Hah, I don't know..
[186] Best singer: Carwee. ^^
[187] Skinniest: Renee.
[188] Nicest: *shrugs*
[189] Best personality: I don't know.
[190] Biggest drug user: Dale and Christie.
[191] Makes you laugh the most: Keely and Aisha. (And John)
[192] Makes you smile: All of them... mostly.
[193] Gives you a funny feeling when you see them:...
[194] Easier to talk to: boys or girls: Boys.
º°* P R E F S *°º
[195] Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi
[196] Cats/Dogs: I like them both..
[197] Singing/Dancing: Singing.
[198] Sleep/No sleep: Sleep.
[199] Math/English: Neither.
[200] Internet/Phone: Internet.
[201] Eminem/50 Cent: Oh. Both thems muh homiessss.
[202] Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla.
[203] Snow/Sun: Snow.
[204] Love/Hate: Love.
[205] Ketchup/Mustard: Neither. I despise both of them.
[206] Short/Tall: Tall.
[207] School/Home: I don't really like either.
[208] Shower/Bath: Shower.
[209] Gamecube/Xbox: PS2.
[210] Christmas/Easter: Christmas.
[211] Drugs/No drugs: No drugs.
[212] Dark/Light: Dark.
[213] Night/Day: Night.
[214] Ocean/Pool: Ocean.
º°* W H A T | D I D | Y O U | D O *°º
[215] Last birthday: Hung out with Keely, Rhianna and Dustin...
[216] Yesterday: Hung out with Keely.
[217] Last weekend: Donno.
[218] Christmas: Hung out with the family. And Jenn was home. ^^
[219] Thanksgiving: Katie, John, Maragret, and Scooter came into town.
[220] New year's: Chilled at the house.
[221] Halloween: Went trick-or-treating with my Matt Matt and some of Carwee's friends. We weren't very successful, and ran into a drunk who gave us candy. XD
[222] Easter: I was in Kanuga.
[223] Valentine's day: Became depressed.
º°* T H E | L A S T *°º
[224] Thing you ate: Macaroni and cheese.
[225] Thing you drank: H2O.
[226] Thing you wore: Uh, my PJs...
[227] Thing you said to someone: "Goodnight."
[228] Thing you got pierced/tattooed: Nothing.
[229] Person you saw: Carwee..
[230] Person you hugged: Carwee.
[231] Thing that made you cry: ...
[232] Person you talked to: Aisha.
[233] Person you fucked: Uh, no one.
[234] Person you poked: I don't poke.
[235] Person you instant messaged: Randy.
[236] Person you laughed with: Either Carwee or Kiwi.
º°* N O W *°º
[237] What are you eating: Nothing.
[238] What are you drinking: Water.
[239] What are you wearing: My PJs.
[240] Any shoes on: Nope.
[241] Hair: Down. As always.
[242] Listening to: Nothing. It's completely silent except for my typing. I kind of like it.
[243] Talking to anyone: Yeah.
[244] Are you pissed I made this so long: I belive you already asked me this.
º°* O P I N I O N S *°º
[245] What do you think... about pop music: It can fuck itself. In the asshole.
[246] About boy bands: They can all get together and have a mass orgy, then die.
[247] About flag burning: *shrugs*
[248] Of the war on terrorists: Don't have a veiw on it.
[249] About suicide: I think it's stupid actually.
[250] About abortion: *shrugs* Their choice.
[251] Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Don't know..
[252] Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Hopefully all of the friends I have now. I seriously doubt that, though. I'll be damn lucky if I'm left with any friends next year.
º°* Y E S | N O *°º
[253] Are you a vegetarian: No.
[254] Do you like cows: Not really.
[255] Are you a bitch: I'd like to think not...
[256] Are you artistic: I guess. None of my paintings/drawings/writings are anything special. *shrugs*
[257] Do you write poetry: Yeah.
[258] Are you a fast runner: If I want to be.
[259] Can you ski: Nope.
[260] Are you British: Nope.
[261] Are you straight: As far as I know..
[262] Are you stupid: Heh..
[263] Are you fat: =/ *shrugs*
[264] Are you short: No.
[265] Are you tall: Yes.
[266] Do you own a hot pink shirt: No. (I own hot pink pants.)
[267] How about orange pants? No. (I own an orange shirt.)
[268] Are you evil: Only on days that end with a "y".
[269] Is Britney a whore: Yes.
[270] Am I annoying you: Not yet.
[271] Are you secretly from another planet: Mehbey...
[272] Did you ever touch someone else's private parts: Nope. You're annoying me now.
º°* F I N A L | Q U E S T I O N S *°º
[283] I want: To hear your voice.
[284] I wish: I could see you right now.
[285] I love: My friends.
[286] I miss: My friends.
[287] I fear: Being alone..
[288] I hear: Silence..
[289] I wonder: What you're doing right now.
[290] How do you know its love?: I don't.
[291] If you could be any kids character, who would you be: Are you smoking something?
[292] If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you eat: That doesn't sound healthy.
[293] Do you remember any of your dreams: Some...
[294] Do you dream in color or black and white: Both.
[295] Do you admit when you need help with a problem: Rarely.
[296] Can people read you like a book: I don't think so. I try to keep it so they can't.
[297] What's your biggest fear: Being completely and utterly alone.
[298] Do you talk a lot: When I feel like it.
[299] Are you afraid of clowns: Some of them.
[300] Do you like spiders: Nope.
[301] How about grape kool-aid: Yeah.
[302] Can you drive: Not legally.
[303] Are you spoiled: No.
[304] Are you anti-social: Sometimes.
[305] Do you see dumb people: Sometimes.
[306] Do you see dead people: ...No.
[307] Any last words: ...
[308] Now that this is over, what are you going to do: I don't know. I guess go to bed or something. The end of this has left me with nothing to do.
Broken Hearts
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