Impersonality
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2005 26 March :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Guilty Gear Isuka - The Cat Attached to the Rust
take my quizzlet!
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Impersonality
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2005 26 March :: 8.17pm
:: Mood: Waiting...
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Berry
i'm gonna blow your head off like raspberry jaaaaaam
Macabre came today. I am a happy girl.
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impersonality
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2005 24 March :: 9.04pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Jesus Christ R'n R
jesus christ rock'n roll
well.. Withering to Death came on tuesday, like i knew it would... and i orderd Macabre (plus some Gauze VCD :D )
in another weekend, (not this one) my mom is making an appointment with Kent for me. (he's the hair-cutter man) I'm thinking of getting it like a wedge cut, only instead of the sides being long and getting shorter as it goes back, it will be short on one side and will get longer as it goes AROUND to the side :D not only that, but i will probably have bangs, too. and pretty soon her i convinced my mom to let my dye my hair black >:]
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impersonality
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2005 21 March :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: hey sex-ay bay-bee...
:: Music: Vendetta Red - Shatterday
our days are numbered 666
for the most part i am content, which is pleasing in itself. um. but somehow i still have a part of me empty.
as in the words of the great Courtney Love...
"It came from my mom. She's like a therapist and I said "I had a really fucked up childhood" and she said "Well, Courtney, you can't walk around with a big hold inside yourself about it" Then I realized that a lot of different kinds of anger and stuff came from my hole, this hole that needs to be fed-the angst inside a person is like their hole...Like when you feel that human emptiness and you have to feed it..."
this is how i sort of feel, and i when i find what ripped open this hole, i am going to rip IT apart.
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impersonality
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2005 20 March :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: boxed
:: Music: Dir en Grey - YURAMEKI
well, today was a pretty good day.
I went to my grandma's house, and as my mom puts it, she is starting to lose it. Why? well three years ago her husband (my grandpa) died on Easter Sunday (i take this as a good omen :] ) and soo this is going to be a really tough week for her. She started digging out all her old pictures of family (loneliness) and gave my sister and i a box of pictures of us. I don't really want them, but they were kind of interesting to look through. I really don't want to get old and lonely....
Then we went to Wal Mart and my mom bought me things (I'm totally not used to this, so i feel so guilty) I got a new pair of jeans, a black skirt to go with my leg warmers, a pair of pink fishnet tights and a pink hat.
"If the good die young, I am gonna live forever"
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impersonality
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2005 19 March :: 11.13pm
:: Mood: guiltyjealousviolenthateful
:: Music: Dir en Grey - SCHWEIN no isu
eins zwei drei vier...
today was ok. My mom and I went to D&K and she and i bought a lot of things. They were having a sale :] I bought a bunch of glow in the dark shapes for my ceiling, my mom bought me a bunch of beaded curtains (she says she's thinking of something cool to do with them, maybe hang them around my bed) a little magnet with a cute girl on it, chalk for my doors, socks and leg warmers, a new slinky (heh, you bastars keep taking them away, and i will just get more....) and..um.. oh...i think that's it. yeah, i'm pretty sure.
well... withering to death should come on tuesday (if not already, my dad may have it at his house) and then next weekend i am ordering Macabre. that will mean i will have all their major albums! yay! But then i have to get the remix album, (Kai) and Six Ugly. and possibly Missa if i can find it on ebay or something. fuck. then i have to buy the dvds and maybe the photo books...
Well, my mom is thinking of a chore list, so that means pretty soon i will get an allowance from her. cash flow, baby. She says now we can go shopping more because "Mama has a job that she likes and is going to stay with" I'm happy, now that we are getting secure.. she likes this job and it pays well, and the hours are normal so no more late shift :] I'm happy seeing my mom happy.
Certain...things at school have been going great, too...haha.
"As my feet touched the muddy ground on that wet day, my shoes stuck to it as if it were trying in vain to suck me into my own grave. Passing redundant ters of monuments and epitaphs, I stopped at one that was painfully familar. I've been here so many times before, but it looked new to me every time. It was cold when i touched it and the corner had fallen off. It read..
'May we remember you
As you were, not as you
Were on that day'
The date and name has been scratched and marked away, but they can never be removed from my mind
The back said
'Josh+Kayla
4
Eva'
in spraypaint. I wondered who Josh and Kayla were, and how long their forever would actually be.
I was the only one there, that day, whose flesh and blood were intact, which added to my feeling of being an intruder. That's when i remembered that part of me can be found buried in the very plot i am standing on"
If you are confused as to what you just read, you are not alone. I was cleaning my room and found this in one of my old notebooks, so i have no idea what the hell inspired me to write this or when i did it. whatever. it's creepy.
| You scored as Not Liked By All, but Loved By Some.
Not Liked By All, but Loved By Some | | 75% | Youre better than U think | | 67% | You're Liked an Average Amount | | 58% | Nobody likes You, but You, and Thats Okay | | 58% | You're not Liked That Much.... | | 42% | You're a Popular Person | | 25% | You are Loved by All | | 25% | You're Hated Completely (sorry) | | 17% | You couldnt be any More Popular | | 8% | Absolutly, Positively....Hated | | 8% |
What Do People Really Think of You
created with QuizFarm.com |
 | You scored as Art Freak. You artsy fartsy kid you. You rock my world.
Art Freak | | 75% | Loner | | 50% | Loser | | 19% | Cheerleader/Jock | | 13% | Nerd | | 0% | Punk Ass Kid | | 0% |
What's You're Sterotype?
created with QuizFarm.com |
You are Kyo.
Which Dir en grey Member Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i don't really feel sad, but i want to cry.
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impersonality
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2005 17 March :: 11.38am
:: Mood: angry
 | You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof).
Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.
agnosticism | | 83% | Buddhism | | 67% | Paganism | | 63% | Islam | | 58% | Hinduism | | 46% | Satanism | | 38% | Judaism | | 33% | Christianity | | 25% | atheism | | 21% |
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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impersonality
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2005 14 March :: 8.23pm
:: Mood: 3...2...1....BOOM
:: Music: Guilty Gear XX - Bloodstained Lineage
ahhhh stress! feels like my head will burst! I need a braindrain! there's just too much.... stuff bouncing around in there XD i wish my mind would just go numb for a while, or maybe bash my brains to bloody pulp with hammer? :P i need aspirin. or ferrets. or something.
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impersonality
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2005 10 March :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Dir en Grey - 24 Cylinders
give me high in a world of contradiction
@ = true
001. I miss somebody right now. @
002. I watch more TV than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.@
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses/contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.@
008. I've done something illegal. @
009. I've watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. @
017. I have a hobby. @
018. I've been to another country.@
019. I carry my knife/razor/whip/whatever weapon you want here everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.@ (modesty? where?)
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones. @
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. @ plenty
023. I love rain.@
024. I'm paranoid at times.@
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.@@@@@@!!!!!
026. I need money right now. @ (MORE money...)
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.@
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.@
035. I have a twin.@ not physically, but a double of everyone's souls exists somewhere..
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.@
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.@
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.@
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with less than ten people.@ 0.
049. I am currently single.@
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex. @
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.@
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my Xanga.
058. I don't hate anyone.@ not truly, no...
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.@ too young
068. I've rejected someone before. @ a handful, actually o.O
069. I currently have a crush on someone. @ crush is not the word..
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.@
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything.@
077. I have a lot to learn. @
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am (can be) very shy around the opposite sex.@
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved. @
083. I have been rejected by someone. @
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have blown off work to have some fun. don't work
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum. how do you play that? O.O
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friend(s). @
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist. @
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome! @
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.@
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment. not quite the word
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody I had never met. @
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now. @@
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies/books ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show “The O.C.”
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.@
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ omg if you only knew....
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often. @@@ @@@@ people need to cheer THE FUCK UP.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.@
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.@
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone. @
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies. @
123. I have had major surgery. major? no
124. I have adopted a pet from the ASPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname. @
127. I once stole a music stand. a whole stand??
128. I like pumpkin pie. @
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.@
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.@ sometimes..
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong boys, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.@
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping. cycle's just fucked.
140. I am a cuddler. @
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.@@@@@@@@@@
144. One of my boobs is bigger than the other. i don't think so..
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I love Dr. Pepper.
147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why I'm unhappy at times. @
149. I own and have read all of the Harry Potter books.
150. I like to smell my own hair. @
151. I carry a book with me almost everywhere I go.@
152. I have an eating disorder. does an addiction to sugar/candy count?
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. Been hospitalized for "mental issues". i can see it eventually
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I am addicted to a Manga/anime.not addicted...
157. Somehow I always seem to get myself into trouble. @
158. I have dated someone for longer than 5 years.
159. I have been hit by flying Eric Szmanda spittle.
160. I have lived in three different countries.
161. I have tattoos.
162. I have lost someone I cared about deeply.
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Impersonality
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2005 7 March :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: guilty
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Claire
the things you buy may someday leave you
One chance to show your face
This one shot--all you get.
Pass by your one good thing
Lift your hand back, shoot, and chase.
Never hear you laugh like that, so full
Not since you were nine.
Unsettled, severing
Always severing old ties
One last goodbye...
May last ther rest of your life
Learn you restricted ropes
Paint across on your left hand
One good thing's under way
And with it, your only hope
Attention focused on today
So quiet, slip behind my back
Unsettled, severing
Always severing dead ties
One last goodbye...
May last the rest of your life
One way trip can work both ways.
Loose ends kept untied make better friends.
The things you buy may someday leave you
Can you say full ride? Can you say...?
(I'll still see you...I'll still see you)
Can you say full ride? Can you say...?
(I'll still see you...I'll still see you around...around...)
Claire
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impersonality
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2005 5 March :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Dir en Grey - 304 goushitsu, hakushi no sakura
yurari to...yurari to...yurari to...yurari to...
eh. No particular reason for updating, as nothing much is new. I just feel I have to fulfill my duties to this blog, I guess. The nurse called my mom, yelling at her a few days. Something about my "horrible" eyesight. My mom said that the nurse said it's so bad I shouldn't even be able to see the board. That's odd, because I can see the board pefectly. Hmm. Maybe my bad eyesight is explaining all my headaches at the end of the day. Who knows. So I have an appointment with the optomatrist sometime. I don't particularly care whether I get glasses or not. My mom said I could get whatever type of glasses I want, as long as the insurance covers it. I'm thinking about maybe seeing if I could get colored lenses. But I'm just getting ahead of myself now.
Well, my mom doesn't have to work at nasty ole' Sheets! She got trainging for some other job doing touch-up painting on cars. She said the training alone starts at 400$ a week, and just goes up from their in the summer. My mom is worried if she can do the job or not, but she's pretty good with that stuff so I hope she can. When she starts to work she said we could set up a chores/allowance system, since she'll be working most of time. yessssah!
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Impersonality
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2005 1 March :: 8.22pm
:: Mood: aggitated?
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Embyro (Single Version)
deadly sweet mother
god that sucks.. first of all, i intended that list to be private (my my reference only, obviously) and when i try to change the settings, it's says i'm not authorized.. but only if i want to restrict the entry...stupid woohu...
and THEN i was going to copy that list, then delete the entry and make a new restricted one.. but i accidently deleted it instead, so i gotta go through and make that whole damn thing over again. fuck you all.
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Impersonality
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2005 27 February :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: Triumphant
:: Music: Dir en Grey - Increase Blue
cherry strawberry very very good sa
http://www01.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050224231545-588207&c=1&a=18
take this quiz to see if you know Brooke.
well... things rock... hard. Kisou has been ordered on saturday, will get it probably 2 tuesdays from now (as predicted from my last order) Having a job rocks... especially now, since i have no taxes or rent or anything to pay :P i really don't want to grow up. Well the week Withering to Death comes out, i will be payed again, so boys and girls, you know exactly where that's going :3
R to the Core
You're the one that's stupid
You're a pig, acting all honest but you hide your true self
Can't hear anything, Can't feel anything
This is a place of contradiction
My heart screamed out, you made fun of me like you do my deaf left ear
I know everyone isn't like that, but i can't accept everything
So i still, even now, scream out in a hoarse voice to all you rotten people...
There is an answer, so writhe in agony and let your will to live come out.
Everyone's the same once thy sin
Dir en Grey
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Impersonality
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2005 23 February :: 8.54pm
:: Mood: off-center
:: Music: Dir en Grey- AKURO NO OKA
"Days Are Blood"
The days are blood
No beginning, no end
Bleeding like a fountain pen
The days are blood
Alarm clock rips open my eyes
I'm so tired
Staring at the black spots before my eyes
Am I alive
Mirror showing bloodshot eyes
It never lies
Another day on the 9 to 5
No whens or whys
These days of blood, eyes of fire
I gave at the office
I gave at the bank
I gave to my friends
I gave to my enemies
You tell me it's better to give than to receive
So tell me why is it you that's bleeding me
7'o'clock - got to wake up
Wake up
Look in the mirror, see my face
See the traces of yesterday
Oh, for yesterday
Oh, for tomorrow
The days are blood
Bleeding into each other
The days are blood
And I'm drowning
And as I watch the evening news
I realize
Telling me of the day's slaughter
I realize
Spilling innards on my dreams
I realize
As I bleed cold sleep sweat
I realize
The nights are blood too
"Iceman"
He's not alive, he can't dream
Stone cold monster, thinking machine
Never feels anger or pain
What's left of his heart is inside his brain
Get down on your knees
Say pretty please
Or do you want to freeze?
The iceman cometh
My pretty pretty thing
Do you do you want to freeze?
Born without a hug or an ounce of love
Doesn't know how much he can hurt someone
Do you feel the chill in his calculated prose
His words will kill if you leave yourself exposed
He is part of our generation
Let us mourn
It's too late to save this child
It started when he was born
The iceman cometh
Keep your distance, don't get too close
A beautiful girl once made that mistake
She froze
both by Descendents
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Impersonality
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2005 22 February :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: Stoked
:: Music: Dir en grey - AKURO NO OKA
Dir en grey pwns j00r a$$!
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