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impersonality

:: 2005 7 January :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: split

you wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?


i haven't updated in a while, so i though i'd do that. Things have been pretty hum-drum lately.Vacation ended monday so the first week of school this year has been completed...i think we're up to like..what.. 70 some days? The new quarter is almost here, but i don't want it to be because of gym. i hate that class because i end up feeling inept and insecure, like everyone's watching and laughing at my failures.

I dyed my hair my now trademake wine red color, i got it cut, too, but the cut didn't come out as good was i wanted because the guy made it a bit too long... but that is really old news.

Progress on the house is being made, the dining room has been painted with the carpet and table back in, and the living room is almost done being paint. One of the upstairs rooms has been painted, but everything is still dusty and it needs a lot more work. The workmen just have to come in and re-wire the electricity. A one day job. Where are they?

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impersonality

:: 2005 1 January :: 11.27pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Hole - Turpentine

i know all you devils by your christian names. yeah and i know all you bitches by your christian names
^^ The weekend was fun! hehe i slep over at Als's and we did our normal things, and she took a picutre of me for my da id (my friend shuu said i was cute!! :D ) and als made her crossdresser guy skull themed... i need to make him a pink heart-themed friend... tee-hee

then i got to stay longer than normal the next day cuz we went to the mall (good thing i had like 70 dollars with me ^^;;) i bought a punch of goodies

Hole - Live Through This (from FYE
Hole - The First Session (from FYE)
Jimmy Eat World Sticker (from FYE)
A pink spiked collar (from Claire's)
A fluffy pink dog collar (er.. it was cute and it fits me ^^;;) (from Icing)
Pink and black striped leg warmers (From Hot Topic)
Rainbow striped and Rainbow star'd shoe laces (From Hot Topic)

^^;; i think that's it... hehe

man, Claire's has a lot of cute things in there... like Fruits things... and EGL things...

This one lady in Hot Topic had this pretty eyeshadow.. it was in chunks of like pink and orange and yellow and grean and blue! so pittty!

"Dear Diary,
I can't write a lot; Johnnie's in the bathroom. I met him in Shasta tonight
and he's just incredible. He's got this long, straight, black hair and he
wears all this silver jewelry, velvet pants, black boots, etc."

^ Hole - Johnnie's in the Bathroom

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Impersonality

:: 2004 30 December :: 9.02pm
:: Mood: in place
:: Music: GGXX - Momentary Life

Last night around midnight or so, my mom and i went to wal mart XD i brought my gift card which i already used up haha. i bought a new cd player (it's clear and you can see the cd inside XD) and some hair dye and jelly bracelettes XD I'm going to dye my hair probably late tonight. hooray for hair dye! i'm happy with the cd player because it WILL play the burned cd's casey gave me! Jess's cd player is poo :(

nothing else is up, i guess... going to als's house tomorrow....i'm bringing some of that sparkling grace juice stuff (tastey AND legal! :D )
and what-not...

i think i'm going to go find some quizzes to post i here... look for the edit...

THE EDIT! OMG WTF LOL!


Which character from Alice in Wonderland Are You?

Cheshire Cat

Cheshire cat confuses people for his amusement, but still, very funny!

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe.

Third Chorus!

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What type of humour do you have?

Humour appreciation

You have the ability to look on the bright side of life

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Which one of my evil pets are you?

Onyx

Indeed, you are beautiful, but secretly you plot to take over the world. Meanwhile, you are content to steal your master's chairs and beg for attention.

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What eating utensil are you?

Spork

You are truly the king of all eating utensils.Although you aren't nearly as popular as the traditional utensils known as forks and spoons, you are more versatile. You are rounded like a spoon, allowing one to scoop liquids and soft foods, and at the same time feature tines at the end like a fork, allowing one to stab harder, more solid foods. Perhaps one day you will replace forks and spoons altogether.

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Are you a robot?

No, you're just an idiot.

Congratulations, you're a complete douchebag. You'll be the first person the robots kill when they take over the world.

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What type of virtual pet are you?

Giga Pet

Another popular virtual pet, you come in a massive variety of species with "clever" names, including but not limited to the: Digital Doggie, Compu-Kitty, Floppy Frog, Micro Chimp, and Baby T-Rex (I had a Baby T-Rex). Unfortunately, you are prone to health problems and thus difficult to care for.

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The Shower Test

Artistic type.

Daydreaming is your hobby but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore and please the other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose chest or privates.

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What famous dinosaur are you?

Baby Bop

You are also evil, and so is your 'blanky.'

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^ this quiz is set up in a very bizarre and confusing way


Which General Mills monster-themed cereal mascot are you?

Frankenberry

You are a hot pink Frankenstein-esque monster whose head is shaped like a butt. Though your success will never compare to that of your monster buddy, Count Chocula, most people have heard of you and your strawberry-flavored cereal, which to this day continues to turn your admirers' milk pink.

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Which one of the beta fish I have had, were you?

Beautiful

You are the most pretty fish, probably in the world. All you have to do is turn your head, and the guys swarm. You are a perfect looking fish.

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What kind of writing utensil are you?

Feather Pen

You are soft and nice to write with, but you don't have many brains in you, but you get the job done.

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What Horror Movie Creature/Killer Are You???

The Ring

You're one pissed off little girl....

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Impersonality

:: 2004 25 December :: 9.06pm
:: Music: GGXX - Suck a Sage

christmas rocked! i ate good food with both sides of the fam, they all like their gifts, too... i got my mom 2 scented candles, my dad a sweat shirt and matching sweat pants, and my grandma a lot of things... tonight we're going to have crab legs, too

what did i get? WAY TOO MUCH! lol

From Casey- a rainbow striped wrist band and a notepad thingy

From Als- Icy WINX Club Doll

I gave them both a lanturn thing from Napal and lip smackers and face mask things

From the fam

Happy Bunny pj bottoms
a journal
some notepads
shavers
deodorant(lol)
bubble bath
Hawaiian kiwi shower gel and body lotion
Flora WINX Doll
Stella WINX Doll
Chinese silk slippers! (my mom bought tme for me, i think, in November and she let me have them then but she said they counted for christmas)
3 bottles of nail polish (white, silver sparkles, and metallic green)
2 pairs of colorful toe socks
A glow in the dark ghost plushie thing that looks like a booger, lol
A pink belt
50 dollar Wal Mart Gift Card (probably using it on hair color and a new cd player)
Guilty Gear XX OST
Guilty Gear XX#Reaload Korean Version OST
Guilty Gear Isuka OST
Random House Japanese-English English-Japanese Dictionary
125 dollars (accumulated from various relatives and friends)

oh. my. gawd. waaayy too much stuff XD i feel spoiled

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Impersonality

:: 2004 21 December :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Gob - Paint it Black (Rolling Stones cover)

i see a red door and i want to paint it black. no colors any more, i want them to turn black
Well, high time since there was a real update. Lately it's all been random quotes and junk to make me look good <3

Christmas is rapidly approaching... Somehow Christmas makes me sad because people give me so much and i don't always feel like I'm worth it... I got a card from my aunt and uncle (grandma's sister) which had 25 dollars in it. We also got a card from some other aunt and uncle on my dad's side that i have no idea who they are, but i'm happy they sent one anyway. I also got one from my grandma's neighbor and one from Cassie

Today I finished my guitar! Yee haw! I got 93/100 plus 10 pionts for going 'beyond the project' I like it because i modded it into a purse. I was wearing it to algebra and mr. i think i'm hardcore because my sister is a.k.a james said i was poser (poser? and all this time i thought i was emo!) because i made the guitar 'look bad' whatever. Then tyler said i wasn't emo or a poser and james called tyler a poser and tyler flicked him off. then he pointed at me and said 'you're a poser, and you're a poser' the second poser he pointed at tyler. It actually doesn't bother me, it's frick'n hilarious because james has no idea what he's talking about XD poor boy.

Tomorrow is the chorus/band thing, so i get to see casey get her flute on and laugh at the chorus. Als isn't going, so i have to find somebody else to sit by. There's also a movie 7th and 8th period so i get out of algebra... i hate having that class because by the end of the day I'm 3/4 comatose and i can't think, but the class usually goes fast and i can blow off my homework until the next day in study hall when I'm more awake. Speaking of homework we have some stupid thing to do over vacation on poems of the halocaust.(sp?) I'm getting sick of all this crap, it has no relevance to english and we are so gonna fail the PSSA's

Gave my christmas gifts to my gals... The lanturns are awesome, i had one left over but i gave it to Shelby since her birthday is also christmas... it had cool fish on it... now i don't have one. My mom bought these lipsmackers and face masks things for them, too O_o I know what Als got me (we're bad XD) Casey has yet to get me a gift as i heard, but that's cool, i'm in no rush

Wow. What I'm saying now is really pretty basic, just a sumary of my day...weak

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impersonality

:: 2004 18 December :: 11.59pm
:: Mood: tired



Consider the fact that
Maybe you've been brainwashed too
Many will tell you otherwise
I bet you trust your bank
Just wait until it tanks
Your parents had it planned
We're almost just like them?
Fun Racist professional sports
Management gets the real rewards
Multinational owned evening news
If we believe we're fools
You watch 4.5 hours of tv a day
And we should listen to what you have to say?
Opinions on life and the world
You eat at the Hard Rock abroad and you disrespect your girl
Sexism so ingrained
That women get the blame
Is it smug middle class satisfaction you peddle?
Better hope your car don't breakdown in the ghetto
Rich companies lobby best
Use their products, prepare to lose a breast
Why your sick mother's health insurance got
"Accidentally" canceled is no mystery
Somebody's paying the government a lot
To have access to everybody's medical history
Greedy banks bought all the farms
Chemical food, aren't our lives charmed
Teenagers baited, their money spent
With credit cards at 20%
Too broke to worry about the loan
Their funkin turning off your phone
And politics, a fuckin' joke
Right and left - they're both a hoax
Just hope the "international" markets don't crash
Rock N Roll! Some truth? Alas!
Careerist cowards sucking ass
Is real investigative reporting dead?
Of course, but keep watching your CNN
The glitz, the glamor, all jokes aside
If a sponsor pays enough, they'd turn a blind eye on 3rd world
genocide
"Bro, don't get heavy, the bills are paid!"
Twice a week (missionary style) we all get laid
Middle management goes first, your out on your ass
Most ignorance is bred at home
Good Christian families? Then why condone
Petty hatred of anything different or new
The fat girl hung herself in June
No love at home, they thought she was strong
Her classmates made her up her own song
"Piggy Peggy ate everyone's pie"
The kids moved on, one teacher cried
The kids switched targets the week after she died
Well? human nature won't change much
Unless we make a shameful bunch
Of those we see so glaringly
Who show hate, ignorance and hypocracy
Don't be a coward - make a stand!
Get in their face - act like a ham
Let people know it's not PC
To be greedy and judgmental under the guise of religion and democracy
Get loud and stand up every time
If you even give a fuck about mankind
Cuz if human nature don't evolve soon
Don't kid yourself, you're fucking doomed
Don't run away from change and growth
Let's start right now, "I take the oath!"
But first accept one simple truth
That maybe we've been brainwashed too
So cynical, so hip, so full of shit
They told us to shut the fuck up and write another hit

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impersonality

:: 2004 17 December :: 6.08pm

it's not that she's anti-american, although she shot a mayor at nine
Meet a girl, I met Carolina
Her parents jumped off Niagra Falls
She broke her hips when she was a baby
Trying to hop the Berlin wall
It's not that she's anti-American
Although she shot a mayor at nine
He looked just like the 'prez on TV
Didn't know in '63 he had died

Does she think this world is all wrong?
Does she think I'll rob her and run?
When I ask where she gets her gun
She simply says 'Scat, boy, scat, scat'

But isn't it a wonderful world, Carolina?
Look at the birds in the sky
Jehovah made this whole joint for you, Carolina
So isn't it wonderful to be alive?

So original in her black lipstick
Listening to some obscure band
But isn't she pissed at all the other non-conformists
Who listen to that same obscure band?
Heh, that's okay, she's helping the enviornmemt
By sipping pure water and such
Then she screams 'We gotta start thinking about the o-zone layer"
While tossing out a styrofoam cup

Does she think this world is all wrong?
Does she think I'll rob her and run?
When I ask where she gets her gun
She simply says 'Scat boy, scat, scat'

But isn't it a wonderful world, Carolina?
Look at the birds in the sky
Jehovah made this whole joint for you, Carolina
So isn't it wonder to be alive?

(The first step to a successful revolution is destroying all competeing revolutionaries)

Real deep shit on her mind
'Let's kill the world, take over everything'
She says, 'We don't need polititians, they breed mistrust
As a matter fact, did you steal my purse, purse, purse...?'

Yeah, but isn't it a wonderful world, Carolina?
Look at the birds in the sky
Jehovah made this whole joint for you, Carolina
So isn't it wonderful to be a-
Isn't it beautiful to be a-
Isn't it wonderful to be alive?

It's so wonderful, I like crying..
Crying..
Crying..
Dying...
Smiling...

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Impersonality

:: 2004 14 December :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: melancholy

There was once a poor woman who had two children. The youngest had to go every day into the forest to fetch wood. Once when she had gone a long way to seek it, a little child, who was quite strong, came and helped her industriously to pick up the wood and carry it home, and then before a moment had passed the strange child disappeared. The child told her mother this, but at first she would not believe it. At length she brought a rose home, and told her mother that the beautiful child had given her this rose, and had told her that when it was in full bloom, he would return. The mother put the rose in water. One morning her child could not get out of bed, the mother went to the bed and found her dead, but she lay looking very happy. On the same morning, the rose was in full bloom.

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Impersonality

:: 2004 8 December :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: Vendetta Red - Shatterday

if i were you, i'd memorize this loose-lipped lullaby instead of waitng, carving out your scars, they cut into you. blisters, rose-colored hue




The is an excerpt from an article about Greig Alexander, the singer from The New Radicals



But to Alexander, what primarily sets New Radicals apart is the band's refusal to wallow in the negativity and self-pity in which so many other bands indulge. "It's so much easier to scream 'I want kill myself' than to have a sense of hope and to try to find a way out of the darkness," he said.

"In a place like America, when you're talking about something that's real, it's more difficult," he added. "If I had louder guitars and if I did the negativity thing I'd probably be selling more records."

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Impersonality

:: 2004 6 December :: 9.07pm
:: Mood: um.. I'm alive, if that counts
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls - Full Forever

why can't the moon stay full forever? wednesday's bad and friday ain't much better


Well I suppose i should update, but i don't have much to say.

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Impersonality

:: 2004 2 December :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: sore

There is a poison all around us. It cannot be seen, tasted, or smelled. We encounter it everyday. It is given off by other people. It collects in a puddle inside our hearts and minds like a silver bucket filling with sap under a tree. It makes us hateful and sad and leaves an awful empty ache deep inside. It cannot be escaped, only faught. There are those, allthough few and far between filled with something sweet...something pure inside instead of this black vemom. They have the power to help us become filled with something other than darkness if can just believe and find them. They have found there own ways to sheild themselves from this toxin and we should all learn to do the same. One day. although not in our lifetime, and not for many, many more, it is possible we can eliminate it competely. This is an extreme task but just as the poison spreads, the cure can as well. Person to person, day by day, one by one...

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Impersonality

:: 2004 26 November :: 9.26pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Pain

anyone can find the same white pills

I don't feel the way I've ever felt
I know
Gonna smile and not get worried
I try but it shows

Anyone can make what I have built
And better now
Anyone can fine the same white pills
It takes my pain away

It's a lie
A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
It takes my pain away
Nevermind, these are hurried times
I can't let it bother me

I never thought I'd walk away from you
... I did
But it's a false sense of accomplishment
Everytime I quit
Anyone can see my every flaw
It isn't hard
Anyone can say they're above this all
It takes my pain away

It's a lie
A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
It takes my pain away
Nevermind, these are hurried times
I can't let it bother me

I can't let it bother me

It's a lie
A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
Nevermind, these are hurried times
I can't let it bother me

It takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain
It takes my pain away


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Impersonality

:: 2004 25 November :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: poor
:: Music: Hole - Reasons to be Beautiful

i'll give you my body, just sell me your soul
Thanksgiving was pretty good. My grandma made a lot of good food. TOO MUCH good food, actually. we have enough leftovers to last 2 weeks or more. too much of a good thing. but she did have those french moon bread thinies (i know what they're called, just can't spell it in frenchy-talk XP) she made pie and some kind of cake and carrots with pinapple and beans and turkey and date and nut bread and some other kind of bread and a lot of other stuff.

I should be getting my puffy amiyumi cd soon <3

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Impersonality

:: 2004 24 November :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: blah

i'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind on the borderline of the edgeand where i walk alone
okay! so today in school we had to watch a movie for the rewards program thing and it was Radio! wtf? who chooses these movies?
but anyway i didn't watch because i went to sleep. meh.

then later there was a big race thing. the pigs are way smaller than last year... the school's budget is going down the shithole. yep. my class's pig didn't win but maybe i can win the big in thr raffle later.

i think my mom is renting Elf tonight but I'm not sure because she was sleeping most of the day and we don't it yet. that's okay, though, i don't really want to watch it but i would anyway if she gets it.

the house is still hell inside... i hope they finish this shit up soon *sigh*

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Impersonality

:: 2004 21 November :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: good

in a land of make-belive that don't believe in me
well well well.. let's see... they're still doing stuff to the house, but the plastic door things are gone.

I rented some movies yesterday but i didn't watch some of them. I watched the 2001 Vampire Hunter D and the movie Donnie Darko. I started to watch the movie Blood, but it made me sick.. i never got to watch one called May.

I'm getting the puffy amiyumi soundtrack for my report card! (i finally got my card in the mail today, I have all A's, hooray! ^^) AND since i help out my dad a little more than usual, he's getting me a Japanese-English dictionary instead of paying me this week. I also got 10 dollars from my grandma for my good report card.

This year i'm having thanksgiving at my grandma's house which really isn't unusual nor surprising because considering the condition the house is in, well...
My grandma always makes good food so it should be ok. it's weird though, because she sets a place at the table for my grandpa even though he's been dead for a few years... it makes me feel real bad for her and it makes me miss him. but hey, losing grandparents is something most of us go through during childhood. it's not like losing someone closer in the family, but it's still not anything to celebrate over O.O;;

wow over the weekend i went up to my dad when he was on the computer and he hurridly closed down a window of an internet match-making site o.o i had no idea he still was looking for someone new... man that would be weird if he got a girlfriend O_o i didn't say anything to him, though

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