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2004 28 August :: 11.05pm
:: Mood: Hot. Not that way, perverts
:: Music: Lapis Lazuli - Awe of She (Dizzy no teema)
My wandering heart...
I took the fruity fruit quiz
made by rav-chan
Check out which fruit you are
this is my way to live
What about yours?
made by rav-chan
Hello Kitty Pocky! You're flat out weird, and
somewhat unknown, since i haven't even seen you
in Sanrio stores. You, however, are the
omnipotent kitty of OZ and all shall bow down
before your immense Bran-muffiny-ness.
What Kind of Pocky are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
WAIT! THERE'S AN ENTRY DOWN HERE! O_O
ahem... anway. The weather has been hot and uncormfortable... it''l go back to being cool, though erie's weather bites the big one. Well, someone I really want to talk to (don't bother asking) hasn't been around for a while, so I'm starting to feel depressed. I think that's the main reason why I have felt bad lately.
Well, I really hope my mom gets this damn job. She's been through so much, sometimes to the point that she tries, and it seems every so often she falls into another hole and has to climb out herself from scratch. I feel so bad, because there's not much I can do. I honestly wish I could get a job so I could pay for things i need myself so she doesn't have too. My mom works very hard and she's a very talented bead artist and she's not getting what she deserves. Which is much, much better than what she has. I love her dearly. I really don't know why my sister can't see this and get her but in gear. I still haven't gotten my homeroom yet. In the past the school has meesed up stuff for my sister so maybe they just have a problem with us. Hopefully tomorrow when I go back to my mom's house, I'll get my hair dyed and be all ready for school.
Anyway, thanks Als and Casey, for reading this. I know you will. Telling you guys things like that is so much harder in person. (or computer screen, rather) You two mean the world to me. Wow. I'm getting teary. I think I'm done spilling myself for now
Anyway, guys, just thanks for listening to this.
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2004 28 August :: 11.10am
:: Mood: sick
The coldest blue ocean water cannot stop my heart and mind from burning
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2004 27 August :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Gob - Reign on Your Parade
Don't point the blame, you might find yourself the same
OkAy, Well school is on Wednesday. I sort of want to go, but of course I'll hate it after the first day. bahh.
Well my mom is getting training for a new job, so that's always good that we're getting back on track.
Went to Shelby's house, ended up spending the night. We were calling random phone numbers and one the lady answered said "Would ya'll like a fruit basket?" in the most country accent possible. Too funny.
eh, not much else...
fractured life
your silence heard
it's what you didn't want
what others didn't see
painful past
you'd rather die
than try to explain
how it hurts inside
don't you think their future's filled with dire problems?
you clench your fist
you close your eyes
dont point the blame
you might find yourself the same
you terrify
you dare deny
this poor kid's life
there's not much more
to identify
when something's wrong
the end is near
there's not much more that I can do
You took it all
their innocence
left behind with scars
and shameful tears
it doesn't need
to be this way
it just seems
that it will never go away
don't you think their future's filled with dire problems?
you clench your fist
you close your eyes
dont point the blame
you might find yourself the same
you terrify
you dare deny
this poor kid's life
there's not much more
to identify
when something's wrong
the end is near
there's not much more that I can do
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2004 24 August :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: down
Sinking into sweet uncertainty
| Are you a sell-out?: | Not in my opinion | | Do you listen to the radio?: | unwillingly | | How many Warped Tours have you attended?: | God damnit why does everyone have to rub it in? | | How many things with studs do you own?: | none | | How many campaign buttons do you own?: | none | | Who makes your shoes?: | Starving underpaid mexican children? | | Do you skateboard?: | no | | Do you rollerblade?: | no | | Do you know where a skate park is even located?: | yeah | | Do you shop at Hot Topic?: | once in a while | | Do you sniff glue?: | never | | How much black do you own?: | who cares? | | How many band t-shirts do you own?: | like one XD | | Do you borrow as a form of formal stealing?: | what? | | Do you have a job?: | too young | | Do you watch MTV?: | only Beavis and Butthead on MTV2 | | Do you watch VH1?: | some of the shows are funny | | Do you stay up all night?: | most of the night | | Do you procrastinate?: | Hells yeah | | Are you a compulsive liar?: | sometimes | | What is your favorite color?: | pinknblack | | How many CD's do you own?: | 20 something | | Do you still illegally pirate music?: | :) | | Are you a suicidal?: | far from it, hun | | Were you ever suicidal?: | no | | Did you now, or ever, cut yourself?: | on accident | | Do you know what: | chicken butt | | How long is your hair?: | just above shoulder length | | Can you play a musical instrument?: | if you count the kazoo | | Who is your favorite guitarist?: | Jack White from the White Stripes | | Who is your favorite bassist?: | who the hell gives a shit about the bass, anyway? | | Who is your favorite drummer?: | Meg White, I guess | | Who is your favorite singer?: | Row-Kun from Lapis Lazuli | | Would you let Avril die by hanging from her tie?: | no, cuz like...you can get arrested if you have the chance to save someone and you don't | | Do you own black nail polish?: | yeah | | Do you have a tattoo?: | no | | How many tattoos do you have?: | hell-oooooooooo? | | Do you have a piercing?: | not anymore | | How many piercings do you have?: | | | Are you emo?: | no | | Do you still watch Sesame Street?: | sometimes XD | | Do you collect teddy bears?: | GREATFUL DEAD BEARS...which are named after that band... | | What does the mirror show?: | me.. who is teh ugly.. | | How much eyeliner do you wear?: | none | | Do you look dead when walking down the street?: | depends who's look'n | | Do you own any vinyl/pleather clothing?: | no...sicne when does clothes matter? | | Is Ashton Kutcher a real punk?: | how would I know? I don't really know the guy. And neither do you, poser | | Do you light fireworks when it's not July 4th?: | yeah | | What color is your hair?: | brownish-red... because my mom said she would die it again for me ebfore school but she hasn't lived up to her promse yet | | Are you different?: | from somethings | | Are you the same?: | as..? | | Are you unique?: | hella yeah | | Do you take showers daily?: | yeah, and every other day if i don't have time. | | Is grunge normal for you?: | no | | Have you ever broken a bone?: | no | | Do you like mosh pits?: | no | | Have you ever been in a mosh pit?: | no | | Have you ever broken a bone in a mosh pit?: | no | | What do you label yourself?: | i don't lable myself | | Do you hate labels?: | yeah | | Are you a Republican or a Democrat?: | i dun't know! | | What is your favorite word?: | banana | | What is the most poetic thing you can think of?: | O_o | | Do you have a sweet tooth?: | yeah | | What's your favorite punk rock song?: | depends on how you define "punk rock" |
Punk Rock On Repeat brought to you by BZOINK!
fakepop! - The Online Popularity Game
| .The.Basics. | | Name: | Brooke | | Age: | 13 | | Where You Live: | Down by the banks of the hanky panky whwere the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky... | | Hair Color: | Brown | | Eye Color: | brown | | Height: | around 5' | | Weight: | haven't been to a scale lately | | Did I Miss Anything: | i think you got it all | | .Love.And.That.Stuff. | | Do You Have A BoyFriend/GirlFriend: | no | | If So, Who?: | | | If Not, Do You Have A Crush? Who?: | I do, but I'm not telling | | How Long Have You Liked The Person You're Dating/Crush?: | few years XD | | Are You A Virgin?: | yeah | | Are You Lying?: | no | | Do You Love Me?!: | sure | | Am I Done?: | no | | .This.Or.That. | | Pink/Blue: | blue | | Pie/cake: | pie | | Rap/Punk: | punk | | Light/Dark: | dark | | Rain/Snow: | rain | | Corn/Carrot: | carrot | | Fruit/Veggie: | fruit | | Short/Tall: | tall | | Young/Old: | young | | blink-182/Slipknot: | blink | | Hot/Cold: | cold | | Happy/Sad: | happeh | | Start/End: | start | | .What.Do.You.Think.Of.When.You.Hear. | | Phone: | ring | | Bush: | heh...bush... hehe | | Smile: | Wal Mart | | Britney Spears: | pop | | Loser: | me | | Bike: | bmx | | Paper: | school | | School: | homework | | Reading: | books | | Ghost: | stories | | Question: | answer | | Bank: | money | | Candy: | raver | | Survey: | bzoink | | Death: | grave | | The End!: | okay | | Award: | achievement | | Rainbow: | colors | | .For.Or.Against. | | School: | for | | Bush: | | | Smoking: | neutral | | Drinking: | ^ | | Cell Phones: | | | Reading: | for | | HomeWork: | for | | Music (If you say against, I'll kill you!): | for | | Britney Spears: | against | | Sleeping In: | for | | AIM/Yahoo/AOL/MSN: | for | | War: | | | Fighting: | | | Ice PoPs: | for | | .Do.You.Know.SomeOne.Named. | | Chris: | no | | Ashley: | yes | | Bob: | yes | | Katie: | yes | | Lauren: | yes | | Tiffany: | no | | Rachel: | yes | | Mike: | yes | | Larry: | no | | Maria: | yes | | Michelle: | yes | | April: | no | | Heather (You Better!): | no | | .RandomNess. | | What Day Is It: | Tuesday | | What Time Is It: | quarter to six | | Are You Talking To AnyOne On Messanger: | yes | | Why: | they IM'd me | | Hi, I'm Tom, She's Paul!: | Hi Tom and paul! | | Are You Bored: | no | | Life Sucks, Doesn't It: | soemtimes | | I Love You!: | I love you, too! | | Are You Having Fun: | yeah | | I Am: | great | | Are You Listening To Music: | no | | Cool, Cool. Do You Have A Job: | no | | Oh, I Don't. How's School: | hasn't started yet | | Do You Have A Cell Phone: | no | | I Do, Mines Yellow With Color Smilie Faces. Are You Glad This Is Over: | no | | Well It's Not! What Are You Gunna Do When You're Done: | post it in my journal | | Are You Watching TV: | no | | What Are You Doing: | doing this, dumbass | | Hey! It's Done! Did You Enjoy Hangin' Out With Me?!: | sure |
..::*::..The.Normal.Boring.Survey..::*::.. brought to you by BZOINK!
fakepop! - The Online Popularity Game
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2004 23 August :: 9.55pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: American Hi-Fi - This Is The Sound
Empty hearts and fill an empty room.
Things aren't so well, i guess... I've been feeling realy bored/tired/unmotivateed and it's not geting much better. I mean, all i really want to do is sleep. I'm always tired lately and I barely eat much...And i don't feel like leaving the house. It's so frustrating.
Nothing seems to keep me interested very long anymore, so I'm counting the days until I go back to school, because then at least I have something to focus on, but then I'll just get bored all over again... sheesh
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2004 21 August :: 11.29pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Gob - Bully
It's just another day for all these bloody veins
Well when Als and I got up my made us blueberry pancakes! They were good. WE picked the blueberries about a week earlier because we have a bush of them.
Um then not much else for now...
1 went against my wishes |
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2004 21 August :: 12.17am
:: Mood: nauseated
There's no place to die
Als is over right now, and Anger Management is on, but I'm not really watching it. Earlier we watched Bad Santa. (Kinda funny, lots and lots of swearing.) Before that even We were in my room and I was showing Als some of my stuff.
I'm past half way through the Pendragon book... (it's blowing my mind, you have to read it yourself...) And I'm thinking about buying another book. The 6th Pendragon book doesn't come out till next summer! Damn! I can't wait that long >.<
Well everybody's back from Ozz Fest. My mom said I would have liked it but I didn't really want to go. I don't like the bands that play there. My mom said it was just fun to watch all the weirdos. Well the thing at the school wasn't excatly super fun either, but whatever. My mom said might take me to warped tour next year. I hope she does. She just doesn't want to put with having to take me. (See how much I mean to her? ;) She might stick me with my mom's friend daughter. (that mom's friend is my godmom, lol) The girl is more Val's age and she's more her friend so I don't think I'd enjoy that. My mom tried the "you're not ready for it" thing but if she was going to let me go to ozzfest, i don't think warped tour would be much worse. She's trying every tactic she can to get out of taking me. When it comes right down to it, I think it's just because we don't have the money. Also, my mom is usually tired and overstressed so that's why I don't get to go many places unless I was invited by a friend. We'll just have to see when next year rolls around. Cross that bridge when we get to it, yanno?
Well i guess that's all for now.
oh and you-know-who needs to you-know-what soon or I'm going to go crazy. And no, that's not supposed to make sense ;)
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2004 19 August :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Robot Factory
They'll never replace me. I'll be back. I want revenge
Okay, so Mom and my sister are at Ozz Fest. Snd I'm at my dad's. Earlier I was at a meeting thing for the 8th grade advisors. We goofed around most of the time and wlaked around the school. We really only help them to find class for a short time. I was playing telephone with some people I don't usually hang out with, but it's cool. (Farmer Joe has big potatoes.. haha nevermind)
Other things are going on, but the settings for this enrty are on public so too bad, I'm not saying XP
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2004 18 August :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: White Stripes - Fell In love With A Girl
She turns and says "Are you alright?" I said "I must be fine, cuz my heart's still beating. She says "Come and kiss me by the riverside yeah, Bobby says it's fine, he don't consider it cheating now"
Okay, I couldn't update yesterday because my mom was uploading some of her necklaces to Ebay.
Today we went shopping for stuff. I got 2 silver sharpies. White Blood Cells, posterboard and glue sticks (for my collage...)
So life is good...
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2004 16 August :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Gob - Lemon-Aid
I'm a case in this place now mixed up with you.
Yeah so I guess I really like updating my journal. Even though only 2 people read it, but hey it's amazaing I even have friends XD
Today my mom woke me up at 10. Yeah I know that sounds late to you but I usually don't get up till 1-3 if there's no school. Anyway, she woke me up because I had to go help my grandma clean out her attic. The roof fixing guys made a huge-o mess out of it. My mom said when ever we clean it she was going to help too, but she didn't :) So yanno, I mean I like helping people, but not when it's sprung on me all of the sudden. Sometimes the warm fuzzy feeling of helping people just isn't enough pay-off. I got 15 bucks, though. 10 for the attic and 5 for what I did for her a few days ago.
So we get back at 4 (holy crap) I'm all dirty and stuff so I take a shower and then crawl in my room for a nap. I got up at 8! lol haha. Anyway, I had this really weird dream that seems like something you'd go to a theater and pay money for.
All of a sudden in the dream, I eating in a restaurant with my dad. There are some little girls there, and apparently they were my little sisters or something even though I didn't know their names. Yeah that sounds strange, but in dreams you sort of "know" stuff even if it isn't pointed out. Anway, there was this blonde woman there that my dad was dating. May I point out that my dad didn't really look my dad, but he was. (refer to a few sentnces up, please.) Anyway, I was in some room sleeping with the other girls I mentioned before. And at this point I know she killed one of 'em, even though I didn't actually see it happen in the dream. We hear her coming in and I take the girls in a closet with me to hide from her but she easily finds us. She has these shear things (like the kind you use to trim bushes, I guess.) She wants to cut off our heads! (yeah, like I said before it's a wonder I even have friends :) I asked her if it was going to be quick and painless and she answered "for the most part, just come hear." Yeah for I moment I was going to accept it. See, I've always had this plan that if anyone tries to kill me (horror movie style) and there was nothing I could do to get away or fight back, I was just going to accept it. Well anyway, I hate pain so like I kick her and take the shears away (Hooray! Super Brooke!) and then I run to tell my dad. She says he will never belive me and stuff, but I tell my dad and he does and he tells her to get out. So like apparently this lady like bubbles or something. Because I see one floating around and I freak and my dad-person says it's okay because one of my 'sisters' is blowing them in the basement, but then I look and it's a bubble machine! Of course this wouldn't be anything bad, but for us I guess it meant she turned it on and she was still hear, so I freak out and lock the door and tell one of the girls to lock the other one. One of the girls puts the key in a tiny pocket on my shirt. Then I tell my dad, "She was going to kill us and mary you for the money!" cuz I guess we were rich or something. yeah right XP
Yeah so like... leave me alone XD
Anyway, I'm getting the 5th Pendragon book finally and the 5th Jimmy Eat World CD finally comes out a day after my birthday! Yesssssah!
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2004 15 August :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: refreshed
:: Music: Hole - Celebrity Skin
You want a part of me? Well I'm not selling cheap
So like aren't you happy I'm updating daily? Oh hell yes, you are!
Anyway, not much, but last night a was playing my gameboy and all of a sudden this huge spider is on the screen! I freaked out and threw my gameboy acrooss the room -my gamesave is still there, thanks god- I'm a whimp XD
My dad was mowing the lawn today and he ran over a bee's nest and and he got stung like 4 times in the legs! Poor Dad
So like sometime i might go see The Village With Als. And we might try for Waldameer again, too
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2004 14 August :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: At ease
:: Music: American Hi-Fi - Blue Day
I'm not asking for much, just get out of my way. I'm in the eye of the storm, beautiful blue day.
Okay, I just got back from Als's house and we did stuff. Akira was lame, and we made recordings with her microphone thing. So like I'm back here at my dad's house for the night.
I went to pizza hut and saw people in spandex!!! I wish i had a vidoe camera. I'd be so cool if i had one.
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2004 13 August :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Gob - Custer's Last One Night Stand
Do you remember late last night? We were jumping the curbs in the parking lot. We shared some good times and some bad, but we always knew...
Well, I've been having sneezing fits off and on for the past few days. it might be allergies or maybe a cold coming on.
But, anyway, tomorrow I'm going to Als's house, and that's always fun
We go back to school september 1, so at least we have the rest of august left for freedom.
That's it for now, I guess
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2004 12 August :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: American Hi-Fi - The Break Up Song
I can't belive I hung around with you all this time. You drove me crazy with your OCD, girl your outta your mind.
yeah, I know I'm on a journal kick around now, but hey, what can you do? Anyway, I'm off to find a survey to put in this thing
| What would you do if... | | you woke up and were a different gender?: | And have a LOT of fun XD | | you woke up and were a different sexual orientation?: | eh, i wouldn't care that much | | you woke up and had gained 40 pounds?: | Holly shit O_O | | your shampoo made all your hair fall out?: | I'd cry | | you could speak only after being spoken to?: | I'm porbably kill myself XD | | you could halt time at will?: | I'd abuse the power ;) | | your family and friends suddenly forgot who you were?: | I'd run away and join the circus XD | | you could only have sex once a year?: | I wouldn't care | | nothing that came out of your mouth made any sense?: | That's the way it is all the time | | you became stricken with a disease that kept you from going outside...ever?: | same old, same old | | you were able to change bodies at will?: | I'd abuse the power ;) | | you had to wear a mask for the rest of your life?: | I'd find a sweet mask | | you were unable to speak to your lover?: | I'd send e-mails or something | | whenever you flirted, you emitted an unpleasant odor?: | I don't flirt, so that'd be fine with me | | you were magically able to change one body part without surgery?: | i don't know | | you were able to fly unaided but were deathly afraid of heights?: | I'd fly anyway | | food tasted like cardboard?: | I like cardboard | | you inherited a large sum of money but could only spend it on someone else?: | I'd buy things for my friends and family |
Questions for Pondering brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions
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2004 11 August :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: Lapis Lazuli - Asassins (Millia vs Zato no teema)
You are the fearful shadow
Well, my mom's boss is back in intensive care. I think they needed to do more surgery. My mom says she feels bad about his sister because now she has to spend thousands and thousand and thousands of dollars to get him out of all his debt. Things are pretty stressful for mom right now. She was up at the hospital with his sister most of the day.
Well, on a lighter note, I was with my neighbors today playing capture the flag. (or cone rather) It was girls vs the boys and we won cuz teh boys are cheaters <.< I also was at my grandma's helping her with yard work. But i didn't get paid. Rats.
(late edit)
Oh yeah
My neighbor, Timmy, who is..11 i think
said "Why is your hair pink?" I guess there's still some red dye still left
I said "Because i dyed it"
He goes "Are you gothic?" XD I got such a kick out of that
| Username:: | Impersonality | | What made you keep this username?: | It's the name of a Goo Goo Dolls song I like | | When did you create this journal?: | I think maybe late last year | | Are your entries Private, Public or Friends-only?: | some are only for friends | | Have you ever been stalked?: | nope | | Describe the 6th person in your journal in three word: | huh? | | Say something about the last person on your friends-lsit: | i can't remember who it is | | Who has the best username?: | Me, Duh | | Favourite user icon?: | mine's weird, so I'd have to say Als | | Favourite layout: | they're all relatively the same | | Who has the most annoying journal?: | what do you mean? | | How often do you write in your journal?: | every few days at the least | | Who has the most interesting journal?: | I'm very interesting ;) | | When did you last write in your journal?: | a little while ago | | Do you write deep, personnel stuff?: | if you do that entry usually gets marked for friends only | | Or do you write about daily-to daily routine?: | that's more like it | | Who gave you the code (LJ users): | I have a Woohu account | | Say something about him/her: | .... | | Describe yourself in 3 words: | Weird. Semi-ugly. Over-rated. | | Say 2 things about everyone on your Friends-list: | | | Most often 'mood' used: | Okay | | Most often phrase used in your journal?: | "o_O" | | Most often curse word used in your journal?: | um..damn? | | Ever spilled something whilst writing in your journal?: | like ALL THE FRICKIN TIME ^_^;;; | | If you could peek into celebrity/non-celebrity's blog..who would that be?: | I peek in my sisters journal XD | | Are you a part of any community?: | no | | If yes, which one?: | | | Rate your journal from 1-10: | 15, baby | | Would you add me to your Friends-List?: | are you on Woohu? |
Survey for Blogs/Journals! brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions
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