Shoe23
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2005 4 April :: 10.20pm
like walking on broken glass...
I'm not at home, a night of freedom.
It's nice to not be at home with the crap. Silent, comfortable, simple nights are awesome. That's what I have here.
I still don't do anything that matters though. I really need to change my ways. That, however, is just me talking.. I do that quite frequently.
Anyway.. I dont have anything else to say... so.. make of it what you will.
how time passes...
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Jaganshi
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2005 4 April :: 2.41pm
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Read more..
also...
You Are Megara!
 Charming and witty. You are always the first person to come up with a wisecrack. Sure, you have an attitude, but that's why people love you. You keep them on their toes. Sometimes you can be misleading, but always end up doing the right thing for the people you love. Which Disney Princess Are You?
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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jaganshi
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2005 3 April :: 11.42pm
Do you want to know how much of a geek I am?
I think I'm going to write up a journal for my RP character (my main one, anyway). This will create a pseudo-narrative-thing for the campaign Brian has been GMing. But mainly, it will allow me to be more of a hopeless geek.
4 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 3 April :: 2.20pm
This makes me think...
...giving up might be easier.
ahh.. how dreadful.
30 more school days.. then freedom, atleast mainly.
...I'll be the one left when you're gone...
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Shoe23
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2005 1 April :: 9.45pm
I am so damn tired. This has been a -really- long week. The sad part is it's not even over. I need sleep but I don't even get my bed tonight it was stolen and our guest [Perry's girlfriend] is staying in my bedroom.. I get stuck with yet another night without sleep. Ohh well, maybe I can sleep all day Sunday or something.. probably not though.
I missed my walk and talk with Evan tonight.. we both had things going. Maybe we'll do something this weekend as previously planned.
Also, there is something I need to bring to everyones attention. I don't mean to shut any of your out of my life nor deny any efforts you have all made to help me out. I didn't mean for things to sound like that, you've all helped me turn into the person I am today. But, if you'd still rather take my original words and slam them down my throat, go for it.. have freaking fun.
I don't know... I'm out of things to say.
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Jaganshi
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2005 31 March :: 11.37pm
this quiz taken rather tongue-in-cheek, as I thought it was too cheesy to resist
Read more..
3 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 31 March :: 6.55pm
To be a person involved in the "wild side" of the world the only thing I ever knew Grandpa Perry to be afraid of was death... I guess it's something everyone has to face sometime. Tonight I went to view the body. On the way home all I could think of was everything he'd done for everyone else without expecting a thing in return. He also didn't like things most would consider -nice- he wanted things that required being fixed to work properly or things that had been used and already had a history. I think he respected history more than anyone realized. Unlike most older people, he didn't live in the past he lived in and for the future. For some reason I'm having a hard time letting him go, I guess I never thought his day would come.
I don't mean to bore you all with stuff about him, it's just a partial release of what's in my head.
-all for now-
Evan.. see you later?
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Shoe23
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2005 30 March :: 10.15pm
It's going to be another night without rest. Yes, he's on a rampage. I don't think it will be as bad as usual though, he seems a bit more collected. I just got home from Evan's house so I've not been among this too much yet, there's no reason I can't handle it for the rest of the night.. and morning. I saw you online and got excited but then decided you were probably either not there or busy so I didn't see if you really happened to be on. I hope I get to come to Bolivar soon. I'm tired of being here. This week I can't avoid being here too much though.
I really feel bad for my mom. She was really close to Grandpa Perry. She's taking it really rough, I can only imagine how it's going to be Friday night at Family Night. I'll have to leave.. go get some air, something. I will never be able to stand it. The man is dead, you don't have an excuse to cry about it if you did everything you ever wanted to do with that person.. just remember the good times, right? Doesn't that work? I'm not sure it does for me, I always regret not having more of the good times or not spending more of the bad times together. But, what would I know?
I do know that I've not done any of my homework and I'm going to get in trouble tomorrow for not having it to turn in. I just don't feel like doing a single thing.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 30 March :: 3.45pm
Well.. one more family member gone. I don't have many to go. All of the ones that mean the most to me I'm losing. I can't believe he's gone.. he was such a strong guy. I'll miss him a lot.
I'm not sure when the family night and funeral will be, I may have to miss school Friday.
I miss last week. I want it back. I'm aware that dreading school doesn't help make it any better but it's hard not to dread going.
I feel like I could sleep for days, I'm exhausted. My brain isn't processing anything correctly. I need to go find something that'll give me energy.
1 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 29 March :: 10.30pm
So tell me.. what should I do? If I'm wrong I'd like to know so I can change the way I'm looking at things. I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong if it comes to the knowledge of that fact. But right now, I think I'm right. Shouldn't you be happy because I have someone to help me out? Probably not, well.. I'm extremely thankful I do. Without her support I'd be dead in a ditch from an overdose. I have a life to look foward to now, shouldn't that make you happy? I just don't understand. Maybe you don't understand what's changed in my life lately either. Maybe I have reasons for things, not that you should need them for anything but, I've proof.
Maybe I should just stop talking, eh? It's not like it's a battle anyone will win.. no one should have this battle to struggle through to begin with. Whatever.
I've made enough bad decisions tonight.. I should let everything rest before I make another.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 28 March :: 10.00pm
Right now I don't think it's possible for me to care any less.. about things in general. I don't know why. Just a big slump I'm stuck in for a while I suppose. Sad that one person put's me there everytime, eh? I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how I've landed so low. It seems as if I've suffered from a great loss.. though I know there's been nothing but things I've gained lately. Maybe I'm just losing my self-worth. I feel like I'm in another world.. and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing. I know I have things in my life though. I have you, and Evie, and... Irv as the newest edition to the list. Speaking of Irvin.. I was thinking, he's the second best thing that has ever happened to me. You want to know what the first thing was? You. You have changed everything about my life into another reason to reach out for more than the nothing that was handed to me.
I've decided I have no more to say... again.
11 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 28 March :: 7.20pm
...when the world falls apart...
Guess what? I get to spend another night with -only- my father. Yes, my mother is staying with my Great Grandfather again. So.. hoo-ray for a, shall we say, eventful night. I'm starting to feel very sick to my stomach.
How can someone such as myself hate where they are so much yet remain too incredibly stubborn to leave? I don't even make sense to myself anymore... actually, I dont believe I ever have. Making sense is not what I'm good at otherwise I'd be somewhere entirely different.
I just wonder.. how is it, in a world outside of my life? I've hardly taken the time to notice anything about the things I should've. I feel as if my time is wasted. I feel bad my entire life I've only been able to have time for my own life, I've not had the opportunities to help other like I would have liked. I wish I would've had the chance to take advantage of the ability to help others. Maybe I did and didn't even realize it.
..maybe this is just a dream..
I dont have anything -of value- to say.
how time passes...
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Jaganshi
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2005 28 March :: 12.48am
Lithaladhwen: For those who backlog chat.... apparently dragons could breathe fire because THEY ATE PLATINUM. Or something. And then there was fire. And hydrogen and stuff. The guy behind Animal Planet's Dragons special said so. That's how it wa
Lithaladhwen: s done.
Lithaladhwen: There's a chat transcript to prove it beyond any shadow of a doubt.
DeathRaySpleen: ...you're aware this was about 24 hours ago, right?
Lithaladhwen: The special?
Lithaladhwen: Yes.
Lithaladhwen: My parents watched it, but I am only now able to see the light. And the importance of platinum.
Lithaladhwen: Brian thinks they may have gone extinct because they ran out of platinum. ^_^
Lithaladhwen: That's why it's rare now.
Lithaladhwen: Dragons ate it.
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 27 March :: 10.10pm
Tomorrow will be a really bad day. There's no way around it. It's basically impossible for any day the rest of this entire year to be good... the school day anyway. I just thought I'd share with all of you how much I am dreading tomorrow. So.. there it is.. make of it what you will. I'm too angry to care.. or to say anything else.
how time passes...
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