Shoe23
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2005 17 March :: 10.55pm
What I wouldn't give to be a different person sometimes.
I can't say what I want... and I can't get away from what I don't want.
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 17 March :: 12.00am
YOU PEOPLE NEED TO USE WOOHU CHAT!!!!
THE CHAT IS LONELY!!
5 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 16 March :: 5.15pm
This is bullshit.
Excuse the language.. but, I don't really care right now.
I should probably never talk again. It only helps me to lose everything I haven't already lost... and I don't need any help at that.
Nothing makes this better.
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 16 March :: 3.21pm
| You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what's right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart.
Chaotic Good | | 75% | Chaotic Evil | | 65% | Neutral Evil | | 60% | Neutral Good | | 60% | True Neutral | | 55% | Lawful Neutral | | 45% | Chaotic Neutral | | 40% | Lawful Evil | | 40% | Lawful Good | | 30% |
What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com |
5 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 15 March :: 5.30pm
...how senseless.
I hope the plan works. I really shouldn't hope when it involves my parents though.. it's just opening up myself to take another hard fall. So.. if it happens, great. If it doesn't.. I can't say it wasn't expected.
That's about how it goes.
I'm ready for Spring Break. I need to stay away from here and them as much as I can.
Posttraumatic stress disorder, anyone?
[update]
*sigh of relief*
The first part of the plan has been successful. We'll see how it turns out.
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 14 March :: 11.40pm
Well, I'm feeling a lot better about this break than I was a few days ago. Friday night I was really torn up about it. But, as Spock teaches... pain is a thing of the mind. The mind can be controlled.
I applied for several summer jobs today, and will canvass the local mall tomorrow. Friday I have two more to handle. This should put me where I want to be goal-wise for apps.
I also have a new gmail account, and I do think I like it.
In RPish news, I'm finally getting around to a sketch of my latest character. (Latest to RP, but she's one of the characters I made over Christmas break, so she's been around a little while.) It's a little more anime-style than most of my other drawings, simply because it's too small to work in the amount of detail I prefer to include. At any rate, when she's finished, I'll let you guys know. It will be on my DeviantART with the others.
I'm proud of my characters. I've neatly avoided the angsty bishounen stereotype as best I can. My characters do not brood or angst if there's any way around it. Usually there is.
I'm trying to cover as many D&D alignments as possible and still roleplay the characters well. It's a little difficult to roleplay a chaotic neutral character, but once you've done lawful evil, chaotic good and true neutral, it's the logical next step.
I'm considering getting involved in at least one board RP this summer. RPGWW (my choice forum of consistent awe-inspiring RP) has pretty high standards, and I'll be interested to see where my characters fit in with the existing population.
Anyway, enough rambling about my characters I suppose. You probably don't want to hear any of the specifics. Just thought it had been a while since I'd rambled for you fine folk.
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 14 March :: 9.20pm
I don't even know what to say...
I probably shouldn't say anything. Most of you don't care to know anyway.
Just another night, nothing special.
I know any of you that wish to know or have a concern will just ask.
So.. I'll leave it at that.
1 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 13 March :: 8.30pm
I don't have much to say..
I've not been allowed to do anything all weekend so not really too many adventures to tell you about. I've had the entire weekend to spend with the two people in the world that want to watch me fail, my parents. Tell me, how fun does that sound?
For the last.. eh, 6 hours or so I've been working on scholarships and other things to do with college. Loads of fun, let me tell you!
I'm trying to compile a list of everything I'll need when I'm off to college. It's hard. So many things...
I still have questions for you. I'll get around to asking them sometime I suppose..
[update]
Something always happens...
...so much for it being a decent night.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 12 March :: 6.30pm
What did I do so wrong?
If I deserve this I'm fine with it but.. I'd like to know what it was I've done so wrong.
I'm going to lose it... and I can't leave.
I'm stuck. Another long night.. but, it doesn't really matter. I'm strong enough to take it.. I've made it this long, no reason that should change... at least not expectantly. You don't worry. Please!
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 12 March :: 8.15am
So..
Plans are as follows...
Today: I have to go to Springfield to pick up something. I'll be seeing Chase and Terri as well.. I never found out if Evan could go or not.
Tomorrow: I'm not doing a single thing.. atleast not as of now.
...and as you can see.. I made it through last night. One more down..
...also, you need to help me pick out something. It's for next year.. decor! I'm trying to find posters from art.com.. I've found 4 but, I just want to see what you think.
[update]
It's funny how c l u e l e s s people seem to act.
[update]
Well forget having a good morning.
I love the way my opinion really matters around here..
You're never wrong though.. isn't that right?
Every day brings something new.
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 11 March :: 10.06pm
The time before I have to go up to my parents' house is always the hardest. All I can think about is how tired I am of being lonely and separated from everything I care about. I hate that I have no choice. I have to go because I need a place to stay this summer.
But I hate it. This is the time before I've resigned myself to it, when I feel most separated from Brian... like a child locked out.
I'll sleep in our bed alone tonight. Then I won't see him tomorrow. Or the day after. I won't be able to call him either, since I don't have a calling card. I technically can't use IM.
I'm tired of being alone. I don't want it anymore. I know once I get up there I'll realize how stupid this all is, how little it all matters. Once I get home I won't be capable of hating anything.
Suffice it to say, I miss Brian and it's only been a few hours. I've gone longer without seeing him when I'm working. But at least then I knew I could go back to my room with him and that everything would be okay as long as he was there to make me happy. Now... I can't see the reason why. I'm leaving him for a week and I don't feel like I have a good reason to be so unhappy again. I don't want to go back.
Could you on this fair mountain leave to feed,
And batten on this moor?
I hate it. I hate being there, and I hate the person I have to be just so that I can stay here. I hate myself when I'm there, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. It doesn't do me any good to care.
For the next week, consider me as good as dead.
Have a lovely spring break everyone. I'll see you next Sunday. I'm leaving someone else in my place until then. She can deal with all this foolishness.
3 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 11 March :: 8.45pm
Whenever you lose a family member your world starts to disintegrate...
Imagine what it's like to never have a family at all.
Just, for a moment.. try to imagine how hard it would be to have nothing.. or no one.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 11 March :: 6.30pm
another long night ahead..
There's something everyday now. It wears me out.
I can only fix my internal appearance with the external for so long.
I'm running out of my external mask.. I can't hide this much longer. I never could hide it from you.. regardless of how well I thought I had it hid.
I'd like to think I avoid most questions and just people in general with my quietness but I can hear how bitter everything I say has become. I'm sorry to all of you that my bitterness may have affected.
I'm doing all I can to get my life steered in the right direction, I finally found the right person to give me a hand. Finally.
But, I'll update later with the news of the night. *crosses fingers* Maybe it wont be too bad.
[update]
My lovely father just admitted that he believes he's perfect...
That sickens me.. and he has the nerve to send me to a shrink?
Whatever.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 10 March :: 9.20pm
That was the last thing I needed. None of you need to know, just know that none of you ever want something like this to be on your shoulders.
Ohh well, I can handle it... as long as no one dies or tries too.
I am excited about this summer now though. Just because of you again!
*sigh* I'm just ready for tomorrow to be over.
how time passes...
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