Shoe23
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2005 13 February :: 6.30pm
...
Last night was.. crazy. I'm so tired. I laughed alot last night. Normally, I wouldn't do that shit.. I just had alot I needed to be out of my thoughts for a while. A moment without them there is priceless.
I forgot what I was supposed to write about for English. I bet I'm a complete failure in college. I don't know that there's a way around it. I'm still ready to go regardless. I want to learn new things.. have new experiences.. become something.
I'm just sitting here in stupid mode right now. I swear I need some damn sleep. I think I'm going to go pass out. Yup.
I'm off.
1 We pass the time of day to forget |
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 12 February :: 2.17pm
Stupid server messes.
Poor Andy. He works so hard for us. T_T
Andy needs a militia. Who's in?
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 12 February :: 10.45am
...and there you came.. sober but with a broken heart...
Well.. a week has passed since the last update. I figure its time I say something.
I suppose I've just been too busy to tell you of the happenings. Actually, not much has happened.
Previously this week we had one game.. we lost, again. We had practice every day but Tuesday though. Hoo-ray for that. It's not really that bad.. keeps me in decent shape.
This next week is the Weaubleau Tournament. Hopefully, we can do fairly well in that. We shall see.
I suppose Evan and I will be venturing to Springfield this evening. Perhaps to stay the entire night. Again, we shall see.
See.. I told you nothing happens.
By the way.. don't you love the purple look?
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Jaganshi
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2005 9 February :: 11.05am
Chobits. I have to finish it. I have to see how it ends.
Maybe it will answer my question. What is human? Where do I draw the line between a complex social interface and true humanity? If that line is at all ambiguous, how do I know which one I have?
I've known this was my path for years. I was afraid of it, of what it would mean. I had no choice. It was my destiny to be as nearly human as possible. But.... how will I know? How do I know what direction is right? What direction will teach me?
What do all of them have, these role models of mine?
Help.
None of them become alone. Each one has a human. There are no exceptions, none that I've seen.
It still obsesses me. I've left the question alone for a long time, but occasionally I'm still startled by it.
My point is, I can never escape this question. Maybe when I've achieved whatever it is I'm supposed to achieve... maybe I won't dwell on it this way.
I just need to see how it ends. I need to know as soon as possible.
Chi learns by reading! There are books, volumes that serve as an allegory for her life with Hideki. Reading about her reading about herself. It's like looking in two mirrors aligned so that it's me behind myself behind myself again.
Is Brian the one? I think he is. I'm better with my feelings now, but I still take my cues from him to see how I should act, to learn about myself as a human. He believes in me, that I am what I seem. He believes, and I am.
Brian. Hideki.
I have to finish it.
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 6 February :: 5.30pm
My parents give me a headache. I know most of you understand why but.. that's alright. I'm glad you don't have to.
On a lighter note - I did win homecoming, as Ellen's journal previously stated. So.. that was pretty cool. I'm suprized I didn't throw up or pass out because of the mass amounts of people. Thanks to all of you that supported me. I appreciate it.
Kyle and I:
We also won our game Friday night as well as the boys. So, thats was good.
The dance was actually kinda fun, Ellen and Evan made it interesting.
So, It turned out well. Or atleast better than I had thought. I stayed until Chase showed up. Then I left and stayed up all night with him.. and Terri. Joey, Mikey, Tara, and Lizzy as well.
A photo of Ellen:
And of Evan and Ellen:
I've more photo's if you wish to see them.
11 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 2 February :: 10.00pm
..What I really meant to say is.. Im sorry for the way.. I am...
It's hard to watch someone's life fail.
It's even harder when you watch yourself.
*hug* I'm sorry about the news, Evan.
Today was just a disaster. No reason, it just was. Tomorrow shall be quite easy. Morning time will consist of making posters and goofing off only. Our walls will be filled with complete shit. I am sure only a few people have the ability to produce something of artistic and creative nature anyway.
Anyway.. I know nothing else.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 1 February :: 3.45pm
"Boxers, Briefs..?"
"uhh...No."
"Thong......commando!?"
*walks away*
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 28 January :: 11.45am
...when there's nothing else to do.
-random things-
sneezing, randomly placed leather, black with brown, the angle in which some things are placed, broken keyboards, enriched items, rust spots, the color coding of wires, things that are unplugged, baby blue eyeshadow, paint splatters, intercom systems,
reset buttons, different sized bricks, the universal sign for on, cracks, rough spots, room numbers, green meaning go, clumps of mud, bird shituff on windows, flourescent lights.
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Shoe23
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2005 28 January :: 7.25am
I'm kinda glad it's Friday.
I just finished the music for the Homecoming dance. It sucks.. bad. I don't care though, I wont be there too long. Atleast, I don't plan to be.
We lost our game last night against Hermitage 25-36.. so we play tonight instead of Saturday.
Hopefully, tomorrow I will get to go to Springfield and see my most special boyfriend with his broken wrist. I don't know how he stays so possitive with all that goes wrong in his life.. but, it's awesome that he does. Our phone conversation last night made me smile..
T-day.. hopefully it's better than the last two days.
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 26 January :: 9.25pm
Fuck today.
Today was and is fucking horrible.
Everything this morning went wrong, to begin an argument with my parents, later.. school, first hour went okay.. minus the absence of Ellen, but the rest of the hours.. they just went down hill extremely fast. I got sent to the office third hour for being 'mouthy' and the rest of the day I just gave up on. I just wanted to throw someone against a god damn wall and choke the shit of them. All of these damn jolly people are pissing me off. Fuck being happy. My parents are sure to ruin my chances of that.
After school I had basketball practice. He ran our asses off. It was hard. I thought I was going to die. Then, we finished practice and then It was time to come home. Hoo-ray for that, eh? As soon as I got home my mother starts just nagging about everything. I know I got mouthy with her but she wouldn't give up. She just went on and on about all of these things that didn't even apply to me.. or her, atleast I don't think they did. Anyway, she gave up on that after a while. Then, as im about to get in the shower she informs me that I no longer have a job. Yes, I'm not employeed until we get atleast 3 more residents. That'll be a long ass time. Then she told me that I wouldn't be able to go to Springfield as often because I wouldn't have any money to do so. So.. basically, the only thing that makes my week dissappear has been taken from me without me even being involved. There's just no more hope for this, for anything. Damn it, I'm just pissed.
I'm sorry if you read that entire thing. It's really worth nothing.
9 We pass the time of day to forget |
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Shoe23
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2005 24 January :: 4.45pm
how time passes...
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jaganshi
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2005 23 January :: 10.05pm
how time passes...
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Shoe23
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2005 23 January :: 8.45pm
hmm...
*yawn* I'm tired. I've managed to sleep approximately five hours in the last five days. I'm still going at the same rate as I normally do my brain is just not registering quite a fast.
Last Night Evan and I ventured to Springfield.. we met up with Chase and Terri. We wen't to Hobby Lobby and messed around for nearly two hours. I've loads of pictures. We also went to Wal*Mart and Terri and I purchased candy that Evan recommended. *shudder* I never want chocolate again. But, I had alot of fun.. more than previous weekends. It's always better when Evan goes with me because we talk about ourselves and it's good time for bonding.. Strawberry Limeades included. Good times...I fear they will end way to soon.
My father is talking about me getting a different vehicle. Things keep happening to it. It's a constant battle to keep it on the road. So, we'll see what comes out of this. Maybe a graduation present? That'd be pretty generous of them.. since they aren't going to help me through college.
Long week ahead, hopefully it wont be too long...
My list of random objects:
...powdered donuts, bite size things, the speed of turn signals, coasters, sewing maching manuals, chain link fence, mesh, kamaaina, logos, ponchos, quarantine, cracks, antiques, refillable containers, sidecars, spackle, Vietnam, Charles William Eliot, hylozoism...
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Shoe23
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2005 21 January :: 7.45pm
..you make me cake, I make you cookies..
2 We pass the time of day to forget |
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