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what i pretend to be

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sugarjackj

:: 2011 9 June :: 11.21am

I've been contemplating suicide a lot more that I probably should lately.
I know its cowardly, but at this point in time I think I'm alright with being selfish for once.

I'm a 24 year old child.

I take one step forward, then three steps back.
I'm not getting anywhere.

I have nothing to offer anymore.

I'm just wasting space.

4 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 8 June :: 3.28am

repost of day 14, for interested parties
namely, me.



in retrospect, i probably should have paid more attention in piano lessons.

1 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 8 June :: 3.06am

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate
Hate me if you want to. I'm sorry, but I've heard this song one too many times.



this video might just make me love this song a second time.

3 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 3 June :: 3.04pm

Fuck you, touch screen. I wanted to edit that entry, not delete it.

Motherfuck.

3 screamed | i am afraid


sugarjackj

:: 2011 3 June :: 1.49pm

It's a nice day to start again.

i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2011 2 June :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: hateful
:: Music: fuck you

fuck you
i need to find some people who have more in common with me

you know..........





fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and fuck.
asldfkjads;flkajsgflaskjg;alkjgas;lkgjaslk;gjas;lgkasng;laskdnga;lgkja;kgjads
gadjg
adkgjas;lgkjag
kbjfs
bkfdlkdnfbs
dlknbs
dfbklnsd
bklnsdfbl
ksdnb
lskdbns
ldkbns
dlfkbns
ldkbns
dlfkbns
dlbkns
blknbfk fuck everything/


and also i hate you you're a bitch and fuck you. selfish bitch.

i am afraid


sugarjackj

:: 2011 1 June :: 8.45pm

Diddle-bot.

i am afraid


sugarjackj

:: 2011 1 June :: 7.30pm

I'll tell you everything about lbein free...
Blah blah blah..........

So I'm jobless a week now. Homeless come this time next month. And I'll be going to school fulltime this fall for free because I'm an Indian. So go ahead, hate on me.

I've always felt I am more of a gypsy tho.....

2 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 2.54am

Day 15 - A song that describes you
this took way too long to find. i like it though. practice practice practice until you get it right. then practice some more. i like the bass drum rolls, these guys are dialed in.

nothing fancy, but CLEAN. this is probably why i don't have friends. turns out it's hard to find drumline videos on youtube with match grip. but i still like what they have going on here. never thought i'd miss high school so much.

video doesn't allow embedding? WTF?

i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 1.35am

Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
i have a dancing plethora of guilty pleasures. i knew it either had to be jazz (which nobody else likes), country (which i typically don't like), or chick music. chick music was the obvious one, but i still had a hard time deciding, because i really kinda like chick music, as long as it's not just being that for the sake of attention.

and jewel's a fox. funky teeth and all, i'd do her in a heartbeat.

1 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 12.52am

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
i don't care that it's catchy, which it is. i care that it's uninventive, redundant, and i've heard it a kajillion times. they raped grunge rock for the money, and successfully sold out to the man, sacrificing the art form in the process. the worse part is, so few people noticed.

2 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 12.34am

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band
really? you're gonna make me pick a favorite band? i have like ... seven, at least.

here's a really good song from one of my favorite bands:



yeah, we know he's hot. shut up and listen to the music already.

1 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 12.30am

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
okay, so anything worth listening to is going to probably keep me awake. if i really want something to put me to sleep it better be mindless, chill, and familiar. this is at least two of those, and far from mindless. brubeck was pure unadulterated genius at its finest.

no idea what the video is about, but the audio is from an album called "brubeck plays brubeck", which i have fallen asleep to many a time. piano jazz is always a good call if you're looking to calm the fuck down.

i am afraid


spud

:: 2011 1 June :: 12.16am

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to

well, since we already established that i can't dance, this one doesn't really work.

all i know is this groove makes my pants tight. if it doesn't at least make you tap your foot or nod your head or jiggle around in your chair or something, call a doctor, you may be broken.

2 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2011 23 May :: 10.59pm

having surgery on wednesday. hoping it is for good reason.

i am afraid

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