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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 7 August :: 1.17pm

does anyone know of anywhere hiring?

1 screamed | i am afraid


sugarjackj

:: 2009 4 August :: 12.08pm

This has been one of the worst weekends of my life.

1 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 3 August :: 4.21pm

oh my gosh so you know how i said i felt guilty for not buying that thing from the lady from khazacstan?

now i am looking at local news and i read this:

28th St. hit-run victim
from Kazakhstan
Suspect lodged in jail
Updated: Monday, 03 Aug 2009, 4:17 PM EDT
Published : Sunday, 02 Aug 2009, 11:35 AM EDT

WYOMING, Mich. (WOOD) - A pedestrian who was killed just after midnight Sunday morning was a Kazakhstan native.

The accident happened on 28th Street, just west of Byron Center Avenue.

The woman who died was a 23-year-old from Kazakhstan . She was in the United States with other foreign nationals, and, according to the Wyoming Police Department, was selling items to area gas stations and convenience stores to raise money for a religious group.

A suspect in the hit-and-run was identified and arrested. That suspect is now in the Kent County jail, and the prosecutor is reviewing the case to determine any potential charges.

Police officials are working with the Kazakhstan Consulate to notify the woman's family.
______________________________________________


super. that is awful. i'm 99.9% sure that is the same lady. if not then i know she is from the same group. thats so awful.

2 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 3.16pm

i posted this quote from a book a long time ago but i love it so i'm doing it again:
My mind is blank now. Every part of my body is sinking and empty. I don't have to think about anything, hear anything, say anything, feel anything, worry about anything.
...there are no job interviews, no hypocrites. I do not have to... socialize. I do not have to smile. I do not have to justify my beliefs. I don't have to wear dress shoes. I don't have to pledge allegiance to the flag. I don't have to use a number two pencil. I don't have to read the fine print.
...it is true that it is nonproductive. But when ninety-five percent of out-of-bed activities hold the possibility of pain, to be pain-free is simply the most delicious feeling in the world.

-not mine






________________________________________


i'm reading through old entries. it makes me sad...

JESS this comment from you made me laugh hard.

"10-30-07 7:52am
jess i'm wearing my glasses today to cover my face lol

ttyl
"


do you remember that?



and this is funny to me
"now if only i could get myself to start fricken working out . seriously. i need to get serious about that. i really really do. i just feel like a moron in front of all those muscley guys. eww and i don't want to run on the tredmills and fall on my face like on a tv show. i'd be so embarassed. and it would hurt. i can't run on those treadmills. i'm not coordinated enough to do that and listen to my earphones and sing MY hUMPS in my head and watch the tvs with no sound and worry about what people are thinking of me and check my heart rate all at the same time.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT. HOW DO YOU RUN ON TREADMILLS.

and that m y friend is the question of the day. how DO you people run on treadmills.
"

1 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 2.35pm

why do i feel so bad when a person who says they are a missionary from khazakstan that tries to help people from drug abuse and absitence before marriage etc. comes into my work and tries to sell me a pretty windchime and i refuse?


why do i feel so guilty?!!?

i only had 10 bucks on me and they were 15 and up.


the saddest part is i probably would have bought one if i had the extra 5.


i cannnnnt saaaaaay noooooooooooooo.


...isn't khazacstan the country borat was from? well... she didn't look like borat.

i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 1 August :: 2.05pm

i've had this since 2002....

weirrrrrd.

i am afraid


sugarjackj

:: 2009 30 July :: 12.04pm

Its been so long Woohu.

I'm glad to see you're still here for me.



Anyway, I'm moving to GR in about 10 days.
Tats the news folks....

9 screamed | i am afraid


spud

:: 2009 27 July :: 1.54am
:: Mood: depressed

::

"There's a way about you that just seems right surrounded by drums, and you come alive to battle it."

i understand what they meant. and yeah, maybe it was just a nice little compliment, and that is all. but maybe not. it almost seems to me as if there is something more to it. as if, in that moment, they had a lucid picture of my mind and my heart and my emotions. like they took a polaroid of my soul. and, it just so happened that - as they saw it - my soul was doing its happy dance, for lack of a better term. and it's true. most of the time when i'm playing drums, i'm happy deep down. it just feels good, and i can focus on that one solitary task (which is actually quite complex and anything but solitary), and it will be enough to distract me from whatever else is going on in my life. unless of course there's a crowd of people watching. but that's not the important part. the important aspect of this observation is that the battle - the maelstrom - that they saw in that instant, isn't happening for me anymore. i mean, it happens every time i go into the basement and jam for half an hour. but then i get done, cool down, and it's gone again. i feel the same way when i'm working on cars, or running sound, or making a recording. it's fun, exciting, exhilarating. it's a challenge for me to conquer. it's a puzzle that i find absolutely fascinating. i need to figure out how it ticks... how to fix it if it's broken... what i could do to make it work better, easier, faster, louder, stronger... you get what i'm saying. then and only then am i truly happy, truly satisfied, fully energized and motivated and ... alive.

and what i want - what i REALLY want more than anything - is to feel that passion in all aspects of my daily life. and it seems that i barely feel it at all anymore. like someone just took all of my energy away. or maybe it's there, but i can't seem to reach it when i need to. it absolutely baffles me.

okay, saying all aspects of my daily life is probably misleading. if i was that excited about taking out the trash, or doing the dishes, and did those chores with the same kind of zeal or fervor that i do in playing drums, it would be creepy and weird. and i'd probably need 12 hours of sleep every day just to maintain my energy levels. so, no i don't want it quite like that. but i want to be able to have a job that i do every day, that offers me the opportunity to have little glimmers of that passion bubble up to the surface from deep within my soul every so often. just enough to remind me of why i'm alive. of why i'm here. of why the fuck nobody's killed me yet. and get a bit of a boost from it, so i have enough energy and self-motivation to be able to get in there and kick it in the butt, like i'm supposed to.

all i know is i'm sick of being poor, i'm sick of being bored, and i'm sick of being either A) stuck at home with a chore list five miles long that i refuse to do, or B) being out and about, thinking about all the chores i have back home that i'm not doing, and about all of the money i'm spending (and not making) in the process of being out. i need something else.

"Well then, I think I may be able to help you. You see, your cat is suffering from what we vets haven't found a word for. his condition is typified by total physical inertia, absence of interest in its ambience - what we vets call "environment" - failure to respond to the conventional external stimuli; a ball of string, a nice juicy mouse, a bird. To be blunt, your cat ... is in a rut. It's the old stockbroker syndrome; angst, weltschmerz, call it what you will-"
"Moping."
"In a way, in a way. Hmm... moping, I must remember that. Well now, what can be done? Tell me sir, have you confused your cat recently?"
"...well-"
"SHH! ... no."
"Yes, well I think I can definitely say that your cat badly needs to be confused."
"What?"
"Confused! To shake it out of its state of complacency. I'm afraid, I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service. Here is their card."
"Oh... Confuse-a-Cat Ltd..."

i am afraid


spud

:: 2009 19 July :: 7.11pm

Kansas City Chefs
Hello there,

My name is chris, and I am in Kansas City (well... shawnee, KS. but close enough). isn't that cool? i thought you'd be impressed.

I'm getting kind of hungry. probably because this entry is about what i've done so far since i've been here.

we got here yesterday morning. i proceeded to burn cds and copy music to my laptop for the next several hours. then we went out to dinner. it was amazing. i got a glass of gewurtstraminer and a fish sandwich. today we went to gymnastics practice, and went shopping at kohls and old navy. then got gelato. now we're chilling at the house. leaving sometime either tomorrow, or early tuesday.

that's about it.

i should get some food. to eat. and stuff.

peace,

Chris

P.S. funny quote of the day:

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink." - Joe E. Lewis

5 screamed | i am afraid


clementine

:: 2009 16 July :: 11.07am

Photobucket

i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 16 July :: 12.59am

Random thoughts: -i am hungry- I get to buy groceries tomorrow yeehaw- I want to see stefs puppy- I want a new vacuum cleaner soooo bad- I have to get my new passport and license tomorrow- I can never sleep at night anymore- I am excited to start school and wear scrubs- I put up (past tense) with SO much for you, you idiot.- I wonder if you know deep down that you really did a lot of bad things, you were/are such a jerk and so fake, it really sucks because when you're not like that you are pretty fun - where did they all go? - I wonder if that really is why and the doctors are wrong and it will be a problem. I can only pray that it won't.- why does my kidney area always hurt like a sharp pain ... Not good.- I'm married, isn't that weird!?!? Hahahaha- and that concludes the random list of thoughts going on in my head.

I

i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 15 July :: 11.05pm

All about yourself...the survey.
Created by adawg and taken 427924 times on Bzoink
All about yourself...
First name?:: jessica
Middle name?:: michele
Like your name?:: yes
Named after anyone?:: no
Any nicknames?:: jamal, j, jessa
Age?:: 21
Birthdate?:: 3.8
Birthplace?:: grand rapids
Time you were born?:: 8.31 am
Current location?:: my home
Height?:: 5.0
Like your height?:: no, i wish i was a little taller
Eye color?:: blue
Contacts/glasses?:: neither
Hair color?:: brown
Natural hair color?:: brown
Dye your hair often?:: about 3 times a year because i get bored
Righty or lefty?:: lefty
Your favorite...
Type of music?:: depends on my mood. When I am awake and ready to go out then it would be hip hop/rap etc, when i'm ready for bed it's classical, when i'm sad it's r&b/pop
Band or singer?:: ummmm i dont know
TV show?:: greys anatomy
Movie?:: i guess step brothers
TV channel?:: ?
Radio station?:: none
Place to be?:: out with friends/ family
Thing to do?:: be iwth friends/family
Food?:: pizza/chocolate
Non alcoholic drink?:: diet pepsi
Alcoholic drink?:: bahama mama, vodka and sprite
Animal?:: dogs, cats, swans
Holiday?:: my bday or christmas i guess i duno
Season?:: spring summer or fall
Sport?:: sport? hmmm
Place to shop?:: vanity, forever 21, charlotte russe, marshalls, old navy, target... theres many
Clothing brand?:: none
Scent?:: as far as perfume- enchanted orchid from BBW or baby phat umm i can't remember what its called but i love it
Restaurant?:: olive garden or frankie v's
Fruit?:: apples or bananas
Vegetable?:: potatos, corn
Fast food restaurant?:: arby's i suppose
Pizza topping?:: none, just cheese really
Ice cream flavor?:: mint chocolate chip
Magazine?:: i duno
City?:: haven't visited enough to know
Color?:: blue
Number?:: 2
This or that...
Chocolate or vanilla?:: chocolate except for cake or ice cream
Pepsi or coke?:: diet pepsi
Hot or cold?:: ?
Black or white?:: black
Dog or cat?:: dog
French toast or pancakes?:: french toast
French fries or onion rings?:: french fries
Hamburger or hot dog?:: hamburger
Pepperoni or sausage?:: pep
Britney or Christina?:: britney
McDonalds or Burger King?:: burger king
50 Cent or Eminem?::
Canada or Mexico?:: canada i think
Hug or kiss?:: hug
Movies or TV?::
Truth or dare?::
Do you...
Shower daily?:: yes
Sing in the shower?:: no
Like to sing?:: in my car
Like to dance?:: yeah
Smoke?:: no
Drink?:: on occasion
Cuss?:: sometimes
Talk to yourself?:: not really
Believe in yourself?:: ?
Play an instrument?:: yes
Go to school?:: starting on the 27th
Go to college?:: " "
Have a job?:: yeah
Like your job?:: most of the time
Want to get married?:: am
Want to have kids?:: yes
Get along with your parents?:: yeah
Get along with your siblings?:: yeah
Drive?:: yeah
Random...
Do you think you're trustworthy?:: yes
Think your funny?:: sometimes
Ever toilet papered someones house?:: yes
Gone garbage can tipping?:: no
What are your parents names?:: stacey and michael
Siblings names?:: brandon shannon stefanie
Do you wash your hands frequently?:: yes
How many time a day do you brush your teeth?:: 2
Collect anything?:: no
Ever been in love?:: yeah
In love right now?:: yeah
What color pants are you wearing right now?:: grey
How does your hair look?:: up in pony tail
Ever had your heartbroken?:: yeah
Ever broken the law?:: yeah
Been arrested?:: no
Been out of the country?:: yea
Can you stick your fist in your mouth?:: no
When was the last time you got drunk?:: umm i cannot remember
Do you do drugs?:: no
When was the last time you were high on anything?:: n/a
Do you prefer the lights on or off?:: off-save energy
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:: yes
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?:: boxers
Do you like to laugh?:: yes
Ever had a bloody nose?:: no
Have you ever caught a fish?:: yes
What was the last thing you ate?:: hamburger helper
What time do you go to bed?:: depends
What's your favorite color?:: blue
Do you like to give or recieve?::
Are you obsessed with anything/anyone?:: my dogs probably
Do you live alone?:: no
Do you own a blender?:: yes
Do you like the snow?:: i like how it looks but nothign else
Ever been up a mountain?:: no
Ever been rootin'?:: ?
Do you like surprises?:: yes
You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 14 July :: 10.59pm

jessssssssssssssss have you seen this?

cute huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs

2 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 14 July :: 10.56pm

i need/want botox.

1 screamed | i am afraid


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2009 14 July :: 10.48pm

doing these reminds me of like my freshman year. HAH

Day at the Beach
Created by andy and taken 73 times on Bzoink
Today I went to the beach with Jessie G. At first I didn't like being there because it was too stormy. However, then I took off my braziere and flailed my toe around. I felt great!

After lazing around for a while she and I decided to play ring around the rosy. This is when we met Jamal. He was so hairy. I felt like puking! He said to me, "You can't get me!" and I calmed right down. Kristi told me how lucky I am that he said that to me.

We all decided to go to Arby's. I ordered a French Fries. It was pretty gross but when Gilbert spilled tarter sauce all over his jeans my Diet Pepsi flew out my nose. I was so embarassed.

All in all, it was an okay day at the beach.
You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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Wedding Day!
Created by sofay and taken 147 times on Bzoink
Today is my wedding day, I am getting married to Shannon. He proposed by cruelly telling me he licked me and presented me with a blue ring decorated with 45023096 ducks. How could I say no! We are having the wedding in Ada Community Reformed Church where we will eat lettuce and chocolate milk. The dress is scary and heavenly and the bouquet is a mauve boat. Jessica screamed the bouquet into the air and it hit Jessie. She got knocked out and had to be escorted to Walmart. All in all, my wedding was a very crazy day.
You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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i am afraid

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