what i pretend to be

:: 2008 17 March :: 2.07pm

i want to quit school.

really really bad.

i need to figure something else out that i could go to school for. i want to be a translator or something. blah ....

:: 2008 11 March :: 11.58pm
:: Music: metallica

strongbow on tap

it was a lot of fun going out tonight, and we got to see professor eick and stuff. he seriously gets more and more cool every time we hang out with him.

i didn't get anything done today, unless you count cleaning the bathroom floor. hopefully that will alleviate our ant situation.

but yeah. not very productive today. that's alright though. that's why we have tomorrow.

and the day after that...

and the day after that....

:: 2008 11 March :: 1.55am

i think i just fell in love with four finger five.

i MUST see them next time they're at founders. which i believe is april 19.

i should go to bed.

but damn. this is the shit. it's just such a solid, soulful groove. right in the pocket. amazing.

1 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2008 10 March :: 9.56pm

chemical imbalances...........

:: 2008 9 March :: 11.48pm

so, i've been working on an idea for this scriptwriting project i have, and i think i like it.

i've been getting lots of help from people, but i think that you guys can help too.

basically, i have certain things i want to incorporate in the thing... certain details. but i still need more ideas to kind of fill in the gaps and create tension and conflict and stuff.

what i have so far:

this kid in high school is keeping a journal. shit happens. i plan on taking advantage of discrepancies between the journal and the "reality" of the situation.

but i'm kind of wondering about what kind of shit happens? what stuff is this kid into? who is this kid? what are they like? what are their friends and family like? etc.

this is where you come in. if you have any ideas, especially those related to journaling, since you are my journaling community, please let me know.

these ideas CAN be based on your own personal experience, but don't HAVE to be.

any and all help with this would be greatly appreciated, as i'm already three weeks behind schedule, after going in partway before completely scrapping my first idea.

thanks!

skippi16

:: 2008 8 March :: 7.36pm

finally got a new computer.. the internet will be up and running as of the 19th. Wedding planning is going well. just ordered the rings, and the flowers.

work is going well, very very well,

i might be an aunt. not very happy about that of course.

:: 2008 7 March :: 12.50am

kristi
mister jay,

kristi called me tonight. we talked about lots of stuff: me. the frank lloyd wright house that's near her apartment. me. her mom's obsession with american idol. my family. her dad's snoring. my snoring. her snoring. RED WINGS HOCKEY! me. her friend at home, whose name started with a B(ecky?). me. my journal. me. her myspace. me.

needless to say, it was a great conversation.

in other news, i went through all my old looseleaf stuff. it got me thinking about atman a lot. and katie. you know, i used to think he had a thing for her. what's more, i still think he had a thing for her. i'll cite a certain game of "king of the bed" as exhibit A. i know for damn sure he wasn't trying to get me on his bed. i'm pretty sure he was trying to shove me out the window. it was all in good fun, though. then again, maybe he really was just trying to be "king".

anyway, guess who i get to see tomorrow: kristi. and kevin. and probably emily. and maybe some other people. and dad and libby and joe. but still mostly kristi.

THE END.

p.s. this entry is still all about kristi, whether anyone (including her) fully realizes it or not. even the bit about addison and katie is really about her.

2 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2008 6 March :: 3.18pm
:: Mood: nostalgic again
:: Music: lots of it

por kebin
there are more, i'm sure, but this is at least a portion of "kevin" songs within my repertoire:

bnl - crazy. you know why.

311 - champagne. the whole of "from chaos" really. i know i make you listen to that a lot more than you probably want to, but it always means "kevin" to me.

the chemical brothers - block rockin' beats. yessir.

fastball - out of my head. we still need to play this song.

jamiroquai - cosmic girl. cruising in your car, the first time i'd ever heard of jamiroquai. always a good time.

jimi hendrix - voodoo child. Al groth is a god.

john mayer - 3 x 5. pick one of the many times. it's a recurring favorite, and has been for years.

led zeppelin - since i've been lovin' you. this song is the reason i miss your zeppelin phase. i love the hell out of this song.

maroon 5 - secret. from the solar experience days. ah, yes.

pink floyd - the great gig in the sky. didn't you come to laser floyd with us senior year? either way, this song reminds me of you.

sixpence none the richer - puedo escribir. it's obviously not spanish, but that doesn't make it any less kevin for me.

soad - chop suey. this was when i was hanging out with tony putt and ryan gravelle a lot. and james golden, actually. but while you were busy ignoring me with bruce said checkers, i was secretly wishing we were in a band, playing this song. i know, i'm creepy.

weezer - only in dreams. you already called buddy holly. i just really like this song, and again, had imagined someday performing it with you.

weird al - since you've been gone. another recurring favorite.

average white band - pick up the pieces. Dr. Strangeglove. fun times. i still need to see that movie, though.

suggestion:
plain white t's - stop. this whole album reminds me of the sound that you were into back in the day. i only got it recently, so it has no specific attachment to any memories, but the overall sound is enough to hearken back to that era.

p.s. you're so fuckin' gay....

2 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2008 6 March :: 2.36pm

why did they ever cancel this course?

and, more importantly, why was i sifting through the 1998/99 course catalog for audio classes? because i'm what they call "mentally retarded". that, and, apparently the reason i like grand valley is because it is so much like me. at least in the sense that it never throws anything away - even if it is obviously completely useless.

PHY 125 Introduction to the Physics of Music and Sound. Physical, musical, architectural, psychological, and anatomical aspects of sound. Particular emphasis will be placed on the physical basis of music and the acoustical properties of auditoriums. (3-0-0). Three credits.

:: 2008 6 March :: 12.49am
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: pink floyd - the division bell

denham's dentrifice

so, got four cavities filled today. that was fun times.

had an interesting talk with mom. and libby's growing up. it's so weird / cool / frightening all at the same time. i think she'll turn out just fine. but it's really a bizarre experience to watch her going through it. it feels like seven years was such a long time ago. and it was. it just freaks me out knowing (or, not knowing, rather) that i'm going to be someplace unimaginable, doing something i can't even begin to guess at, once another seven rolls by.

and tuesday was mom and bruce's 10th wedding anniversary. we were looking at the wedding pictures. it was crazy. pal's is the same as ever, though. which, in some ways, makes it even more weird.

i really need to get rolling on this homework, before it's too late.

but i love this song.

in other news, my tax returns finally came back, so i can pay rent tomorrow. i was starting to get a little worried. five days is a pretty close call.

:: 2008 2 March :: 10.10pm

so i had this dream that kevin, andy sischo, jay from high school with red hair, phil maas, and other people were walking around trying to kill me and justin bloss and other people with these lazer gun thingys and they had these things that zapped us and hurt like hell. it was terrifying.

stop trying to kill me! me and justin killed andy with a shovel. and sam hamilton tried to help me by telling me the code to shut off the lights.

2 screamed | i am afraid

skippi16

:: 2008 24 February :: 5.11pm

hey hey yall,,, been plannin away for this freakin wedding.. life is good i guess certain people of the male gender are being dumb as usual. but of course all men are really dumb anyway right.

just got a raise, yay, more money woohoo.

sugarjackj

:: 2008 23 February :: 2.36am

I have become comfortably numb.

:: 2008 22 February :: 3.52pm

i dont think you're supposed to feel this way for a couple years but even still, knowing that, i can't help but keep thinking about it.

i feel like it'd be the only thing i'd be good at. the only thing that would totally fufill me.

i can't even cry when i really really want to i think it's like shut off like a switch. it only allows about 4 tears to slip through.