what i pretend to be

:: 2007 24 April :: 10.48pm

I finally did it.

I went to the gym.

and it felt FABULOUS!

:: 2007 24 April :: 12.37pm

we've lived in this apartment for 9 months. that is weird. that's like, almost a year. also that is a lot of money spent.

when it comes to school work and trying to lose weight i feel like i am on this ride that never ends and i just want a break so that i can get my life in order. but i will never get that break. i envy kids that go to school all school year long and dont have to do anything but worry about school and live their lives. i fucking envy you kids. but then again, i feel like i'm way ahead of those people because i can handle being on my own.

so fuck yall.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

:: 2007 24 April :: 12.36pm

i dont want to go to work.
i dont want to go to work.

i don't want to go to work.

i do not want to go to work

i have no desire to go to workkkk.

fuck work.

:: 2007 24 April :: 12.26pm

:: 2007 23 April :: 11.15am

A new one for each day...

:: 2007 22 April :: 9.53pm

My concert wen't well. My voice cracked once. Oh well, no such thing as the perfect performance.

:: 2007 18 April :: 9.31pm

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

nobody loves me.

also god damn i need to lose like 50 pounds or i'm chopping half my body off.

2 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2007 14 April :: 2.37pm

JUSTINE

I was wondering if I could possibly use some of your pictures for my final project in my computers class. It's an online class and probably only me and my professor would see them. I would probably use them in a Powerpoint thing i have to do.

the project is like... you have to pretend you're an IT professional or something and I am in a "video production department" and i decide what we buy and all this crap and i decided to buy a canon rebel because well... i dont know! i think that is the one you use right? and so i decided to use that and i said like i had a friend that takes wonderful pictures with it and blah blah blah and i said that you go to university of the arts but i'm not sure if thats what it is called and i couldn't AHH okay i'm not making any sense

but i would like to know if i could use a few of your photos

i would like to know the name of the school you are attending and where it's located

and thats it.

thanks justine

:: 2007 11 April :: 7.31pm

someday soon!

go forth and multiply!

3 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2007 6 April :: 10.28pm

today i listened to the get up kids and the 311 transistor cd.

good stuff

who can't love amber?

woah ohhhhhhhhh...

right now brandon and roman are playing video games. we went to craigs cruisers and had lots of fun and got a cute picture in the photobooth .

2 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2007 2 April :: 7.55pm

god i hate being alone.

i should have just went with roman to his mom's house.
god some people can be such fake stupid jerks. how am i supposed to be friends with someone who treats me like shit like that. TOTALLY UNRELIABLE. i seriously will not be able to have her in my wedding because i honestly don't trust that something wouldn't "come up" where she'd need to skip out on the big day. god i fucking swear. so fucking annoying. the last fight we fricken got in was because she ALWAYS and i mean ALWAYS fucking cancels on me, but no, she does it AGAIN the next time we hang out. and then fucking doens't pick up my calls or call me back. i'm not a fucking idiot. i knwo you fucking look at your phone like 15 times in 20 minutes and i know you fucking have your phone on you AT ALL TIMES. half the time we hang out you're texting someone anyway. so do you really think you're fucking fooling me or something when you don't pick up the phone and dont return my calls? like i am just supposed to think you didn't look at your phone or you "lost" it again. YEAH RIGHT. poeople don't lose their phone that much and people dont leave their phones at peoples houses that much and people don't "forget" to charge their phones that much. god i am so pissed off because i dont want to fight with you but i have no choice when you treat me like shit!!!!
do you realize we dind't even have any time to catch up when you came over because you "would rather sleep alone" which is a total lie, you just wanted to be alone even though you were "so tired" so that you could call someone else and get on the internet all night. what the hell is that? we didn't even have anytime to talk that whole night and then when you say you're coming back the next day you fucking bail on me and change the plans AND you tell me you're just hanging out with someone else but in fact you are going to a party instead. god that is mean. and then you tell me you'll bring me my stuff the next day "around 2" so what do i do? i fucking wait around my fucking apartment doing NOTHING waiting for you and hmm 2 oclock goes by, then 3, then 4 then i say fuck you and leave to do my own thing but not before claling you only to get your answering machine. funny me, i thought if you wouldn't be able to make it you'd have the decency to pick up your phone for 2 god damn minutes and just tell me you wrent coming over afterall but no you leave me fucking hang ing AGAIN. god i can't believe it

and the time before that the whole time i was at work i was all loooking forward to hanging out and thinking about how we were gonna go on a bike ride and i couldn't wait to get some fresh air and it'd be fun to catch up but then you fucking cancel

god i am done ranting it's not fucking worth my time. GOd i am so pissed at you. you are RUDE and INCONSIDERATE and a LIAR. work on that.

3 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2007 2 April :: 6.16pm

cool look i'm on davenport's website neato

for real that's me, looking down- it's from the photo shoot from a long time ago...

12 screamed | i am afraid

:: 2007 1 April :: 12.03am

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
7
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

:: 2007 31 March :: 1.18pm

i seriously love roman bryan garcia.

and i'm watching austin powers right now... funny stuff.

also. we went to this club last night... not gonna say where. but me and jessie hazen went and OMG. so effing stupid. lol. ahhh last night was crazy. i hope no one heard the dog. that stupid stupid ugly dog. oh yeah but the club. seriously. hahahhaaa never again will we go there.

i think i'll do my homework tomorrow. i put stuff off so much. but i dont care.

oh i love my new tanning place- midnite sun and cruise. it's so nice. the beds are so nice. yay i'm gonna be tan soon.

we are going to a fricken carnival on 28th street tonight. isn't that crazy. theres a carnival less than 2 minutes from my apartment. that's weird. a weird little carnival . we have to go though because... we have to! yay

okay peace out.

:: 2007 29 March :: 10.31am

bleh i dont wnat to go to work. yay they didn't charge me the overdraft. blehhh i seriously can't wait until work is over today. ...but then i have to back tomorrow... ahhh the cycle never ends..........!

jessie g- do you want to come over tonight? supposedly shae is coming.