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where have all the liars gone?

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brandnew26

:: 2005 23 January :: 2.42pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: alkaline trio - queen of pain

so it snowed. a lot. 14 inches is what they said for shelby-macomb area. i shoveled 3 times. i'm sore. the storm knocked out my cable for 30 hours. no computer, so i listened to a lot of music that i haven't in a while. went out driving last night, made the car spin and fishtail. maybe a bit too much. went to blockbuster to rent a movie, saw the girl who works there that flirts with me, that's amusing. came home and actually played video games til 2 in the moring. i don't play much. woke up this morning and had to shovel again. i like snow, but not this much. oh well, i'm going to finish homework.






The stars at night are big and bright
Deep in your eyes, Miss Vincent
You told me once I made you smile
But we both know damn well I didn't
I'm not much of a jester, but I'd test poisoned food for you
Your majesty, you're royal blue
I'm loyalty, my king of pain

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 17 January :: 4.56pm

You scored as Indie. Indie.

Indie

88%

Indie Rock

83%

Emo & More

67%

Industrial

54%

Britpop

54%

Classic Rock.

54%

Country

33%

Hardcore

33%

Mainstream

29%

Hip Hop and Rap

29%

Ska

29%

Punk and Pop Punk.

21%

Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com



i got bored.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 14 January :: 11.56pm

To my mistress the bridge, I don't feel well.
I'll be leaving and you can't stop me.
We've been carrying on too long.
I'm sorry, but I'm gone. I've got a bad reputation to think about.
I've been dirty, I've been wrong.
Maybe someday they'll find that I've washed up.
I'm stepping out to clear my lungs.
I'm breathing in to fill my lungs. We're all dead.
Farewell scenic highway overpass.
It's better this way anyways.

My lover the river makes a better soldier than a bride.
But I left my heart at the side of her bed
and she's got the warmest body that I've never had.
Drag the lake, you'll find it's full of love.
Bring the children to the water and let them see what heartache did.
This matrimony needs a witness, and you can teach them to swim.
Don't let your dreamers grow up to be dead men.
Drown us at birth, save her some time.
Drifting on romantic holiday, breathless as her cold arms cover me.
Drag the lake. You will find it is full of love.


-Sincerely mine. Finally.

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 14 January :: 6.17pm

banned from the back porch
I stepped out into the night and put my feet down on the wet patio floor
The sky's air had been cooling and steam rose from everywhere
I could feel drops of rain slipping off tree's leaves and splattering to the ground
It's always misty after a summer pour
And I'll remember turning around and looking out
And staring in and focusing on this one beautiful girl
And I said, "Oh who is this?
Where was she all those crazy years?
Where was she when my heart couldn't take its beat?"
I sipped down some warm ginger ale
And drew back a breath
And headed over to see about this girl
I couldn't say a thing and I just stared open and wide
And I connected with her eyes to feel my gut fall through the floor
Oh my god, I think I'm falling.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 12 January :: 6.59am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: elliott smith - waltz #2

you're probably wondering "what's with all the lyrics all of a sudden?"
well, since i'm not very good at writing or showing emotions, i use lyrics to tell how i'm feeling. some are how i feel, some how others may feel toward me. which ones? thats for you to figure out. some could be all one, or not. i rant too much. i didn't talk to ashley yesterday, *insert really sad face here along with sad music in the background* so i ended up studying for my exams. i then spent most of my night in my room playing my acoustic guitar. my mom thinks i'm going back to my old ways of spending all my time in my room. hope not.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 12 January :: 6.42am

your hand on his arm
the hay stack charm around your neck
strung out and thin
calling some friend trying to cash some check
he's acting dumb
that's what you've come to expect
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
he's wearing your clothes
head down to toes a reaction to you
you say you know what he did
but you idiot kid
you don't have a clue
sometimes they just get caught in the eye
you're pulling him through
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
needle in the hay
now on the bus
nearly touching this dirty retreat
falling out 6th and powell a dead sweat in my teeth
gonna walk walk walk
four more blocks plus the one in my brain
down downstairs to the man
he's gonna make it all ok
i can't beat myself
i can't beat myself
and i don't want to talk
i'm taking the cure so i can be quiet
whenever i want
so leave me alone
you ought to be proud that i'm getting good marks

needle in the hay

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 11 January :: 9.16pm

I want to know your plans and how involved in them I am.
When you leave for good this fall, will I be forgotten?
And if you want roses I'd buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it, well what can I say.

You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
Thats what you do.

I want to know your fears and if you'll forget me next year.
When they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here.
If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you, you could hit me or whip me.
Oh oh I'd savour each lash.

You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.

No more fighting.
It is only a waste of our time, ohh cause soon you'll be leaving.
Will this strength still be mine?

I'll look out for you til i die.
Til I rot.
Ohh I'll remember you til i die.
Til I rot.

You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.

You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones put the words in my head.
When they pour out to paper.
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 11 January :: 5.50pm

And they don't see
That my smile is stiched
And it's peeling off
Inch by inch
And when it goes
My whole disguise
Will slither off
Before your eyes
And I'll stand nude
My eyes roll out
Reveal my skull
A cave of doubt
My surgery's done
Your gaze the knife
I need you here to save my life
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone
And they don't see the nagging stress
That beats and beats inside my chest
And kiss my heart
To keep it safe
Where no one else can make it break
And all the schools they sent me to
The upper class ants march two by two
A 4.0 for each brain whore
Well I won't fuck with them anymore
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone
And the days go by
I still believe
There is someone who
Can comfort me
And the days go by
I still believe there's a world some place for me
So please stay in tonight
Pull the soul from my eyes and say goodnight
Just stay at home, strip me down to the bone
I can't be alone

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 10 January :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: saves the day - through being cool

i love how nothing is secret, or sacred anymore. things that you know about people, you're not supposed to use them against them. talking behind someone's back is just not that cool. so you know what, fuck you.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 10 January :: 6.42am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: the midway state - reckless

well, i made it out of bed at least. mondays aren't exactly my favorite day of the week. if you say, "you look like you have a case of the monday's" i'm going to strangle you. if you that say to me on tuesday, i will run you over/beat you with a tire jack.

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 9 January :: 2.47pm

What is your name?:eric
Are you named after anyone?:no
What's your screename?:i am jacks sn26
Would you name a child of yours after you?:probably not
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:i think they said it would have been natalie
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:i don't know
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:middle name and last name
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:probably not
Basics
Your gender::male
Straight/Gay/Bi::straight
Single?:yes
If not, do you want to be?:
Birthdate::24 November 1987
Your age::17
Age you act::16 somtimes, people have told me i act 18 too.
Age you wish you were::i don't know
Your height::5'4"
Eye color::blue
Happy with it?:sure
Hair color::black
Happy with it?:sure
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::right
Your living arrangement::with my parents
Your family::mom, dad, brother
Have any pets?:no
Whats your job?:photographer, student
Piercings?:no
Tattoos?:no
Obsessions?:music, photo...stuff like that
Addictions?:candy canes
Do you speak another language?:no
Have a favorite quote?:not that i can think of
Do you have a webpage?:no
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:i try to
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:yeah
Do you have any secrets?:doesn't everyone?
Do you hate yourself?:no
Do you like your handwriting?:ha, i guess.
Do you have any bad habits?:yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?:modest, eyes.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:The Faraway Places
What's your biggest fear?:not really living
Can you sing?:kinda
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:no, thats stupid
Are you a loner?:yeah
What are your #1 priorities in life?:photo right now
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:i don't know
Are you a daredevil?:not really
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:somethings i take too seriously
Are you passive or agressive?:both
Do you have a journal?:yes
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:i don't know
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:i don't know
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:depends
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:should have done more
Do you think life has been good so far?:yeah, now it is.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:keep living
What do you like the most about your body?:ha
And least?:lets say height
Do you think you are good looking?:not really
Are you confident?:no
What is the fictional character you are most like?:rob from high-fidelity
Are you perceived wrongly?:yeah
Do You...
Smoke?:no
Do drugs?:no
Read the newspaper?:yes
Pray?:yes
Go to church?:yes
Talk to strangers who IM you?:sometimes
Sleep with stuffed animals?:no
Take walks in the rain?:yes
Talk to people even though you hate them?:i don't hate people, but yes
Drive?:yes
Like to drive fast?:sometimes
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:i guess
Hurt yourself?:no
Been out of the country?:yes
Eaten something that made other people sick?:yes
Been in love?:no
Done drugs?:no
Gone skinny dipping?:no
Had a medical emergency?:yes
Had surgery?:yes
Ran away from home?:no
Played strip poker?:no
Gotten beaten up?:yes
Beaten someone up?:yes
Been picked on?:yes
Been on stage?:yes
Slept outdoors?:yes
Thought about suicide?:eh...kinda
Pulled an all nighter?:yes
If yes, what is your record?:5 days.
Gone one day without food?:yes
Talked on the phone all night?:no
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:no
Slept all day?:no
Killed someone?:no
Made out with a stranger?:no
Had sex with a stranger?:no
Thought you're going crazy?:yes
Kissed the same sex?:no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:no
Been betrayed?:yes
Had a dream that came true?:i wish
Broken the law?:yes
Met a famous person?:yes
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:yes
On purpose?:no, they get in front my car at night
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:no
Stolen anything?:no
Been on radio/tv?:yes
Been in a mosh-pit?:yes
Had a nervous breakdown?:yes
Bungee jumped?:no
Had a dream that kept coming back?:yes
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:sure
Miracles?:yeah
Astrology?:not really
Magic?:i don't know
God?:yes
Satan?:yes
Santa?:no
Ghosts?:yes
Luck?:sure
Love at first sight?:yeah
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:yeah
Witches?:yeah
Easter bunny?:no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:ha, i wish
Do you wish on stars?:sometimes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:yeah, also they are what you percieve them to be
Do you think God has a gender?:no
Do you believe in organized religion?:sure
Where do you think we go when we die?:depends
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:no
Who is your best friend?:tom
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:matt
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:corey
Your favourite inside joke?:"i was at chruch officer, i swear"
Thing you're picked on most about?:try most things
Who's your longest known friend?:matt
Newest?:andy
Shyest?:steve
Funniest?:tom
Sweetest?:i don't know
Closest?:tom
Weirdest?:mike
Smartest?:pete
Ditziest?:jack
Friends you miss being close to the most?:matt
Last person you talked to online?:ashley
Who do you talk to most online?:ashley
Who are you on the phone with most?:ashley (see where i'm going with this)
Who do you trust most?:ashley, tom
Who listens to your problems?:ashley
Who do you fight most with?:ray
Who's the nicest?:pete
Who's the most outgoing?:rob
Who's the best singer?:i don't know
Who's on your shit-list?:a lot of people
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:not really
Who's your second family?:ha, pete's family i guess
Do you always feel understood?:no
Who's the loudest friend?:ray
Do you trust others easily?:no
Who's house were you last at?:tom's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::i don't know
Do your friends know you?:know what?
Friend that lives farthest away::dave
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:no
What do you find romantic?:things
Turn-on?:eyes
Turn-off?:smoking, drinking
First kiss?:yeah
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:odd
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:yeah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:sure
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:i guess
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:no
What is best about the opposite sex?:they listen
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:i don't know
What's the last present someone gave you?:money
Are you in love?:i don't think so
Do you consider your significant other hot?:if i had one, then yeah.
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:someone i don't know
You wanted to kill?:a few people
That you laughed at?:my brother
That laughed at you?:my brother laughed at my dumb joke
That turned you on?:someone
You went shopping with?:myself
That broke your heart?:no one
To disappoint you?:my dad
To ask you out?:no one
To make you cry?:blah.
To brighten up your day?:ashley
That you thought about?:how would i know
You saw a movie with?:i don't even remember the last movie i saw
You talked to on the phone?:ashley
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:ashley
You saw?:my brother
You lost?:no one
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:no
Will it be with your significant other?:?
Or some random person?:?
What are you wearing right now?:jeans, a static lullaby shirt, dls xc hoodie
Body part you're touching right now::my feet are touching my legs
What are you worried about right now?:exams
What book are you reading?:the decisive moment
What's on your mousepad?:my mouse
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::headache, tired, worried, lonely, sore
Are you bored?:yes
Are you tired?:yeah
Are you talking to anyone online?:no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:no
Are you lonely or content?:lonely
Are you listening to music?:I, Heart - Friday Nights New Color

Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 8 January :: 8.00pm
:: Music: explosions in the sky - look into the air

so helped out at the art thing today, my hands and legs hurt from moving things around. got home around 4:30. ate some dinner and haven't really done much else outside studying for exams


you should listen to dave.

http://www.purevolume.com/theapparatusofheaven

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 4 January :: 7.04pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: say anything - alive with the glory of love

Have you ever woken up from a bad dream about someone you like, and you're happy that it was a dream, until you realize when you wake up you're alone...yeah that sucks. school sucked again. didn't do much. wanted to sleep so bad again. i think i kinda spaced out in the darkroom. went to do a print and i don't remember developing the print, but it was done. odd. i'm supposed to enter one of my pieces into some national competition. i don't know. i don't think it will make it. got offered a job to take pictures at the spring musical, i may do that.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 3 January :: 5.10pm

i'd say you make a perfect
angel in the snow
all crushed out on the way you are
better stop before it goes to far
don't you know that i love you
sometimes i feel like only a cold still life
that fell down here to lay beside you

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2005 1 January :: 1.25am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: her space holiday

happy new year everyone! so, wow! its 2005. hopefully this year will be better than the last. so at the start of the year i was completely alone, i hope its not a preview of things to come. so adam had the honor of being the first person to talk to me in 2005. ha, some honor. i set off fireworks too close to my head, i couldn't hear for a while. its what i get, but was fun none the less. so for 2005 there are just a few things i want. i would like to not be single. be with a girl who i really can/will love and care about. who i can get along with and talk to. and fit some other criteria i'll post later. i want to bring my grades up. i want to go to states for track and for cross-country i want to be runner up (2nd place) in the division 1 state race. i want to learn latin. i want to get better at piano. i want to get at least one of my pictures published. i want to break school records in track. i hope i do at least some of these.




to the people i care about, please be safe, be smart, and i'll see you guys next year.

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 31 December :: 5.03pm
:: Music: jet black new year

Songs That I Am Listening To For New Year's (and you should too!)
1. Thursday - Jet Black New Year
2. Further Seems Forever - New Year's Project
3. Death Cab For Cutie - The New Year
4. Auld Land Syne



so i'm sitting here, alone. its okay. you'd think by the time i'm 17 i wouldn't always be alone on new year's, but alas, here i am again, alone. i'll live. so...

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 30 December :: 12.45am

Life leaks from you fingertips
onto sparkling pavement
havent heard the news you stumble stuttering
confused

Helicopters line the sky
marching men are rolling by
babies in their baskets blankly stare through space
hey hey

Ever since I first saw you
standing in the black frozen night
I've been blind
but I'm driving in the dark towards you
not stopping till I catch the sunlight
In my eyes

Sirens sing over the streets
Chimpanzees are on TV
everybody's working waiting for the week
to end

Ever since I first saw you
standing in the black frozen night
I've been blind
but I'm driving in the dark towards you
not stopping till I catch the sunlight
In my eyes
and nothing's left to hide

Ever since I first saw you
standing in the black frozen night
I've been blind
I'm running out of time

Ever since I first saw you
standing in the black frozen night
I've been blind
but I'm driving in the dark towards you
not stopping till I catch the sunlight
In my eyes
and nothings left to hide
oh oh

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 30 December :: 12.35am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: saves the day - kentucky parrallel parking

went out to royal oak with jack, claire and keri. that was fun. then keri came over and watched garden state. then i drove her home. played pool with sean and ryan. more video games. now i'm talking to ashley, which makes me smile.

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 29 December :: 12.41pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

so i just finished some new prints, which are drying. i need new paper, i'm almost out of semi-matte, which is what they want them done in, which is easier for me to hand dye, which is how i do. i'll explain hand dying at another time. going to take pictures with jack, claire and keri tomorrow. should be fun/interesting. so, tonight i did my prints/watched garden state. multi-tasking. i love that movie. made my all time top five. so i was talking to ashley before i went away to do that stuff. came back and she was still online, restarted my computer and she wasn't online anymore, which disapointed me. one of the few people i can actually have a real, rewarding conversation with. the other personis in the bahamas. enjoy. been listening to a lot of new music, thanks to certain people repectivly. thank you eric for showing me daphne loves derby, thank you to jamie for showing me her space holiday. thanks to me for certain other bands that i am too lazy to type out because i am tired and lazy. i should probably try and sleep for a few hours before i get back to work. don't want to make any mistakes. i actually like this kind of work. i have deadlines and i can work at my own pace. gives me time to think.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 28 December :: 11.58am

I'm sick of seeing you cry
And wasting all your time
On someone who will never care enough
To make you feel loved
To make you feel safe
I would drop my life to take his place

To show you just how good
Being touched could be
Commit these words to memory
For when you find yourself
Pinned under his demands
I am still an option that you have

So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst

You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about

Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings

We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of every one

Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this

It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 27 December :: 5.07pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: say anything - the futile

so i'm bored. there is nothing to do. i'll probably go to ritz tonight to pick up some photo paper and film. then to mayfair tomorrow for hypo check, new developing tank and probably more film. probably will go to barnes and noble tonight also for some new books to read. blah, i remembered that ritz is at lakeside, which sucks because i dislike malls, along with most of the people there. oh well, i need photo stuff bad though. i hate when i keep remembering what i need. like filters and such. more money. i started working on my darkroom in my basement. lots of work. oh yeah, and my uncle is giving me more photo stuff. another enlarger. more chemicals, stuff like that. living at 22 mile kinda sucks. my only friend lives across the street, which is good, but he's gone right now. he graduates this year, so next year is going to suck. i'm still single...yay! [sarcasm/]




It’s official, I’m helpless a hopeless romantic
It’s official, I’m helpless a hopeless romantic

1 | failed the crash test


childofthelost

:: 2004 26 December :: 11.42pm

moved to user certainty

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 26 December :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: cold

i love her
therefore i'm promiscuous
but she belongs to everyone
she's so precious.

failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 25 December :: 11.53pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: feeling left out - last christmas

so its christmas. different from most days because i actually attempt to talk to people and try to act cheerful. woke up at 6. made coffee, fell asleep on the couch til my brother woke me up. drank coffee. opened presents. got things i wanted. books, coffee, money, stuff for my camera, and cds. christmas time and new years always makes me feel the most lonely. so what does/did eric want for christmas?
i wouldn't mind having a girlfriend or even just a really good female friend that i could talk to. i sound like a huge loser. come downstairs with a girl under the tree with a bow. a girl who likes photography, who has faith. who doesn't drink or smoke. who believes in me, even though i don't even believe in me. who understands me. who i understand. who i can be myself with. i hate this. now i sound like scrooge and shit.

1 | failed the crash test


brandnew26

:: 2004 23 December :: 10.49pm

You are what poets write about and bleed themselves for
Hold the moment I’ll paint your picture while you’re still here
‘Cause you’ll never be this beautiful again
I don’t want to forget

Please love me now before I become disappointing
I am careless you’re my innocent bystander
You make every moment feel like my first time
Now I’ve learned boys don’t cry

I’m not your only author and this isn’t your last song
I’m afraid of being scared and I don’t speak if I’m wrong
I’m not your only author and this isn’t your last song
I’m afraid of being scared and I don’t speak if I’m wrong

I’m just an extra in your once passionate movie
The solution to my bitter tragic ending
You’re a brave soul
I wouldn’t let me near myself
I can’t thank you enough

I’m not your only author and this isn’t your last song
I’m afraid of being scared and I don’t speak if I’m wrong
I’m not your only author and this isn’t your last song
I’m afraid of being scared and I don’t speak if I’m wrong

failed the crash test

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