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brandnew26
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::
2004 1 October :: 11.41pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: slow coming day - as loneliness settles in
so i got a medal at brandon. i took 8th and top 10 get medals. i think i ran something like a 21:15 which is decent on the course. lots of people were sprinting up that hill and i knew that i was going to pass them later on and i did.
9 days til homecoming.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 1 October :: 7.05am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: anatomy of a ghost - in case of further complication
so today's the day that we run brandon hill. may god be with us, because everyone is going to need some help with it. well, i'm off to school.
http://www.purevolume.com/matchbookromance
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 28 September :: 8.10am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: zella mayzell - her feet go down to death
i'm just getting so tired. i need a weekend of nothing. cross-country wears me out completely. fighting with people wears me down. writing is starting to wear me out. i just need to go and take pictures. i don't know, i complain too much.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 26 September :: 12.45pm
Dressed up, fresh with the fashion sense. Aproach you and spit clever pick up lines. My name is whatever oyu prefer. You said "my friends call me insecure"
What do they call you at home?
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 26 September :: 12.29am
untitled 6
Rewrite this back to before you know me.
Pure white lined blank paper with no date and heading.
Absent whispers come from moving lips in the silence.
In this we mass as shadows in the dark.
"Were you expecting more?"
Hearts don't forget to break behind walls away from you.
Trace the blood trail to away from you once.
Tonight breathing takes practice and terrifying serenity marked in the movement of fingertips across an empty screen.
"Is this too much?"
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 23 September :: 7.02am
Dearest, I'll meet you in the hollows.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 22 September :: 7.47am
a conversation can confuse
and a smile
can mean so many things
that cannot be said.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 19 September :: 7.55pm
:: Mood: creative
alive with the glory of love
When I watch you, wanna do you, right where you're standing yea
Right on the foyer on this dark day right in plain view oh yea
Of the whole ghetto, the boot-stomped meadows, but we ignore that yea
You're lovely baby, this war is crazy, I won't let you down oh no say no
I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no no
I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no no
No no no no no
And when our city vast and shitty falls to the Axis
They'll search the buildings collect gold fillings wallets and rings
But Miss Black Eyeliner you look finer with each day in hiding oh yea
You're lovely baby this war is crazy, I won't let you die oh no no
No I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no no
Oh no I won't let them take you, won't let them take you
Treblinkah is alive with the glory of love
Treblinkah, alive with the glory of love yea
When they catch us and dispatch us to separate work camps yea
I'll think about you I will not doubt you with the passing of time
And when they kill me your love will fill me with every bullet
I'll know my purpose this all was worth this I won't let you down
I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no no
No I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no no
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 14 September :: 4.29pm
untitled 4
Hello.
Did you enjoy fucking him as much as I enjoy fucking you over?
Was he as good as you've always ever wanted and dreamt of?
Guess he must have been cooler and easier to be with than me.
I'll do what I want as my jelousy strikes me.
Its just like you to fall for ever guy like him with his thoughtless words.
Let's skip these pretenses darling, don't come back.
I'll enjoy this dissilusion of lonliness as much as I enjoy watching you suffer.
"you're so useless" well sorry girl I learn from the best.
Seeing me outside your window while you're with him will seem like the fucking golden age when I'm done.
Its just like you to fall for ever guy like him with his thoughtless words.
Let's skip these pretenses darling, don't come back.
It's damn cold this time of year, won't you let me inside quick?
I'll be your best and last mistake.
This is your last call?
Think of anything witty to say?
With the barrel of a gun in your mouth you only speak in vowels.
Goodbye.
2 |
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 9 September :: 6.29pm
so i got dropped back down to JV, my leg is killing me. so i'm not going back to practice. i'm #1 JV, so i guess thats cool.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 7 September :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: dead
:: Music: Saetia - Endymion
so i made varsity today, officially. the running killed though, its like "okay, let's see how many ways we can try and kill eric today" but they almost killed 3 other guys with me. so yes, my method for running with a torn groin muscle, take two advil, zone out and think about a certain person. how the hell do you think i ran a 19:41? i thought about her the whole race. now i must do homework so i can sleep.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 6 September :: 7.11pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: the postal service - such great heights
i drove to romeo and walked around alone. haha, i'm such a loser.
Here comes the sadness that I miss so much
That lonely aching comes from every touch
I’ve grown accustomed to the grays and blacks
Because they’re always coming back
Sit down for supper, won’t you dine with me
Or can’t you handle seeing all I see
I’ve grown to colorblind to cease my bitching
And I’ve grown to love the pain
And I move too slow and I think too fast and the first rainbow I see will be the last.
Here comes a view I’ve seen a million times
Here comes a boring song with thoughtless rhymes
I know you’re sick of me so tell me here
Because you could have be the one
To make it all disappear.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 5 September :: 3.03pm
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 1 September :: 7.21pm
A Lack Of Color
and when i see you
i really see you upside down
but my brain knows better
it picks you up and turns you around
turns you around, turns you around
if you feel discouraged
that there's a lack of color here
please don't worry lover
it's really bursting at the seems
absorbing everything
the spectrum's a to z
this fact not fiction
for the first time in years
and the girls in every girlie magazine
can't make me feel any less alone
i'm reaching for the phone
to call at 7:03 and on your machine a slur a plea for you to come home
but i know it's too late
i should have given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
given you a reason to stay
this is fact not fiction
for the first time in years
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 31 August :: 6.48am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: zella mayzell - straight ahead at the end of the court
so yesterday was the first day of school, fuck that. it went by quick, but then i had cc practice. my left leg is starting to hurt, if somethings wrong, free leave for me, i wouldn't mind that if its not serious or anything. so yes, i got home at like 10 and had to do my chem homework, it wasn't fun. don wants to go to homecoming and he wants me to go too. i'm like, there's no fucking way i'm going to get a date, but don is "the man" and has "a plan" so we'll see.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 29 August :: 8.10pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Count The Stars - All Good Things
Every Time I Die - I've Been Gone A Long Time
What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight).
But I've never felt better so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there.
Balance is a minor setback.
What she thinks is all right, and the way she looks is just fine.
She sure as hell ain't you, but lord knows she'll have to do.
She don't know I'm alive but neither do I so there's nothing left to lose.
If I could only make it make you want to want me. One more drink, I think, should do.
I wish that I could say I love to watch you walk away, but you probably
won't be back in time to hear it.
So it's just as well. No one out there gets back in alive.
So I'll love the way you stand so close to a guy who we both know can't get near it.
Strike when ready. Burn the highway down.
Let me hear her high heels moan. I'm ready, set, go.
There's cocaine in the key that took us from the bar to her car to the bedroom.
Only the lonesome love us. Only the careless can handle us. What's wrong
with us that we're so unamused?
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 29 August :: 12.48pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Circle Takes The Square - Comes With The Fall
i feel really weird today. messed up dreams last night. made me miss somethings. kinda like how i felt while i was away. missing basic things. own bed, homecooked meals, space alone. its different though now, just miss being with someone. its a melancholy day and thats how i feel.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 29 August :: 12.25am
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Straylight Run - Your Name Here (Sunrise Highway)
i got my new cell phone today, its pretty hxc. went to the dls football game, it was boring. talked with people mostly. saw a lot of people i haven't seen in a long time. met some new people, that part was fun. hung out with don and olga mostly. gave don his "karate kid" picture. went to nine's today. played poker, lost like usual. i'm going to go to sleep now. little song for you to ponder or look at.
Your name
Here, believe me
It's not what you'd think
Wish what you want
It's all the same to me
I'm not breathing
But anyway
It's just it's nothing so simple
Nothing so silly
Nothing so mundane
Go east on Sunrise Highway
Turn left at Carmen's Avenue
Go right at the first stoplight
I'll be outside waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you
Your name in lights
It was only a matter of time
Your name in parentheses
'Cause after this mess
I guess you bet
That I'd collapse before you do
Hell, maybe that's true
Or maybe it's not at all
Go east on Sunrise Highway
Turn left at Carmen's Avenue
Go right at the first stoplight
I'll be outside waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 26 August :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: saves the day - The Vast Spoils of America (From the Badlands Through the Ocean)
so i had orentation today. it sucked. i have such a kick ass hardcore schedule this year though. could be good. gah...today my mom asked me if i will ever go to homecoming or prom or something like that. why the hell did she have to ask that? my explaination "i don't feel like bringing some girl who either i like just a bit or barely know. which involves lots of work on my part and cash from my pocket for a few hours of me having to listen to bad music." also, theres so no chance in hell i will ever get a date. i complain too much.
corey: u close to having a g/f yet?
me: fuck no.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 24 August :: 12.50pm
so i'm back from camp. it was hot and humid and my legs kinda still hurt. pictures to come later.
because i'm this bored.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 15 August :: 9.53am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: zella mayzell - target demographic
i found this in my friend's journal. lol, its a application for a girlfriend. i thought it was amusing. let's just see if anyone fills this out. also, i won't see this until the 21st. damn cc camp.
1. Whats your whole name?
2. How old are you?
3. What color are your eyes?
4. If you had to choose between Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck, who would it be?
5. Whats your hometown?
6. do you live with your parents?
7. If we switched numbers, would you make me call you first or vice versa?
8. Would you make the first move?
9. On a scale of 1-10, how important is sex to you?
10. Do you drink and if so, how often?
11. Do you smoke and if so, how often?
12. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
13. What is your favorite past time?
14. Are you really affectionate?
15. If so, are you affectionate in public?
16. Do you get jealous easily?
17. Are you really flirtacious?
18. How important are looks to you?
19. Do you look at other guys when your out with your guy?
20. If we were supposed to meet somewhere and you were running late, would you call me?
21. If I was sick, would you take care of me?
22. If you caught me kissing another girl, would you break up with me?
23. Whats your favorite color?
24. Do you have a car? What Kind?
25. What is your favorite kind of car?
26. What would you do if your parents found out that we were having sex?
27. Do you like to go out to the movies?
28. What type of music do you like?
29. How family oriented are you?
30. What does your wardrobe consist of?
31. What does your room look like?
32. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
33. How kinky can you get?
34. Do you think you can hang out with me and my friends?
35. Do you get along with other girls?
36. Now for the final question, explain to me what you think of when you see me?
2 |
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 14 August :: 9.31pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: jamisonparker - dead to the world
i finished all my packing today, i feel cool. i went and bought disposible cameras today for my trip, i felt all trendy and such. i do not like disposibles....they suck. but i'm not bringing my new $400 camera. or my digital...i might. well. you can call my cell., leave a message and such and i will call you back on my time off.
722-4334. goodbye.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 14 August :: 12.15pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: zella mayzell - my dear wormwood
got my new camera yesterday, i love it. i'm packing for camp right now, it sucks. i just got home and i'm leaving again. 3 nights in my own bed and then hotel beds. my cell should work, so feel free to call me. leave a message and i'll call you during my time off.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 13 August :: 11.47am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: avenged sevenfold - unholy confessions
so i'm back from vacation, for now. had to get up at 7 for practice. just got home. 5 miles. have 7 do tonight. i leave sunday for pennslyvania. come back next saturday. new camera today. should be good. went to keri's yesterday. now i'm going to take a shower before i go to the camera store.
failed the crash test
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