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brandnew26
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::
2004 2 August :: 11.51pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: saves the day - i'm sorry i'm leaving
big upset in cc today. eric pulled out 48 minutes for 6 miles. 5th spot on varsity for the first big practice of the season. i did 4 miles this morning at 5. then i went to sleep. then practice was at stony creek. god was it hot. so i leave in 4 days. i want to see a few people before i go. i come back like the 13th or 14th only to leave again the 15th. then i finally return the 21st. then school starts the 30th along with practices after school. i run races saturday mornings. about 19 minutes out of my day running. but a lot more driving there and back. and i used to wonder why lowerclassmen on CC never had girlfriends, lol. no car. i need sleep. practice tomorrow at Dodge park nature center. goodnight everyone. and tel me what you think of the songs below.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 1 August :: 12.27pm
untitled 3
Twelve past 4 and I still can't believe I'm sitting here waiting for you.
I should have left long ago (given up on you)
I know you're probably out with him.
Again you forgot our plans...
This night is cold and this air makes me shiver.
But it's no where near as cold as the deep winter glances you give me.
The heavy frost covers the leaves on this sidewalk where I stand leaving your apartment.
Funny how they remind me of your heart; dry, dead, and cold but colorful.
This night is cold and this air makes me shiver.
But it's no where near as cold as the deep winter glances you give me.
The street lights will guide me away from you,
like a lighthouse to guide a ship caught in a storm
away from sharp rocks,
and a cold and lonely demise.
tell me what you think.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 1 August :: 12.27pm
untitled 2
Just give me one fucking reason.
Just one explination on why you are doing this.
I can't take this shit and all of these false pretenses.
I swear to God all of this end tonight.
This blade aids in my hopelessness.
All will cease to exist tonight.
I can't stand too long.
The room spins around me.
I can't stay to long.
I need you more than ever.
If I could I would, I would give you everything you could ever need and want.
But I know all of it could never keep you here, make you stay.
One more chance and I swear I'll make it right...
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EVER SEE IN ME? *screamed*
I can't stand too long.
The room spins around me.
I can't stay to long.
I need you more than ever.
I don't really give a fuck if you're crying.
I guess you forgot to remember all the nights I did, or maybe you just chose not to notice.
I rip my heart out for you.
I pour myself out onto this page.
I pray this pen doesn't fail me now.
I HOPE YOU FEEL EVERYTHING I FELT *screamed*
tell me what you think.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 1 August :: 12.26pm
untitled 1
Let the leaves fall
and collect on this corpse of our love.
12 stitches in the chest she where the heart once was.
Bare bones and skin are all thats left.
But is there really anything left after you've left?
Tear down my pictures that graced your walls.
It only suits you that I should fall.
Do you even care if I'm alive at all?
I swear to God this is my last call.
You're turning these apologies into lies.
You're staring at heart-less beats and cries.
I 've never thought I was the best, I always knew you needed (wanted) more.
Through all of the countless nights I've cried
I know we still will all be alone.
Tear down my pictures that graced your walls.
It only suits you that I should fall.
Do you even care if I'm alive at all?
I swear to God this is my last call.
I knew you always wanted this right then from the start.
You had to the blueprints for this broken heart.
tell me what you think.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 30 July :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: saves the day - shoulder to the wheel
i leave in less than an hour. i really don't want to run. its cold and wet. course is going to be a mud field. 3 long, cold, wet and muddy miles. i went and saw the village today. it was really good. made you think. ha. i went to keri's yesterday. we watched fight club among other things. i fucking love that movie. guess whose got the number one spot on JV for cross-country? me! lol. one thing i've figured out. xc is definatly the hardest sport ever. so much work and it hurts a lot. and pretty much the hardest person to beat is yourself. your mind can beat you, and then you lose. you must beat your mind. we've been doing 8 miles a day already. and the offical seasons hasn't even begun. we had 5-5-5s wednesday, but coach changed them to 6-6. it sucked. i ran until my viens burned battery acid. and then i ran some more. after the first 6 i put a big "E" in the trail to mark my spot. i passed it the 2nd time. kevin was like, dude, i passed your E. which is good, because we both were going to collapse. i think our team is going to do very well this year. i have a shot at the 6th and 7th spots on varsity. i think i'll let mike get it though. he deserves his letter. i can wait til track. number one varsity long jumper automaticly gets his (fuck yeah!) my new camera is stuck in communist china. bastards. well, when i get it, its going to be hardcore.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 24 July :: 12.40pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: saves the day - i'll melt with you
so i guess its time to update. umm...wednesday i went to the mall with lauren for a bit. then i went and met kevin, jeff and domanski. then we went back to my house. then to coney. then to jeff's for some poker. i left around 10:40....in the middle of the storm. it took me an hour to get home. i had to pull over three times because i couldn't see the road at all. i almost got run off the road by some assholes in their huge trucks. you don't need both fucking lanes to drive motherfuckers.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 23 July :: 11.18am
:: Music: zella mayzell - straight ahead at the end of the court
Straight Ahead At The End Of The Court
Of all the fears I've grown to love
I'm frightened the most of missing you.
I've punished myself for finding joy
and focused on what I have to lose.
its hard to believe in what he says
when I have the strength to silence lies.
and hearing it now I feel secure.
I know its worthy of a plot I sacrificed
and all the tears I cried tonight.
Show me faith I dream about,
as long as you're here I'm strong.
And I believe in every word I heard you say tonight.
Finding peace despite tonight.
You're the strength I lack tonight.
Steadier than I am.
You're folding your fingers into mine
You tell me that healing comes in time
It won't be the same again.
Do you believe in rebirth
And lies becoming new?
It's hard to believe in much now
The weight is crushing me
And cutting off my air
I'm finding it hard to stand at all.
You've got to relate to this,
I want you to tell me yes
Knowing you have my trust,
Believing its for the best
Feeling this vulnerable i'm letting down every wall
Now looking down on me, my walk becomes a crawl.
I'd walk the winter to with diamonds turned to spring
I see the cold and frigid glances passing through
We watched the grass begin to power through the soil.
We watched the scales fall.
I know its worthy of a plot I sacrificed
And all the tears I cried tonight.
Show me faith I dream about,
As long as you're here I'm strong.
And I believe in every word I heard you say tonight.
Finding peace despite tonight.
You're the strength I lack tonight.
Steadier than I am.
And I'll remember every bone I heard that broke tonight.
Seeking solice from the light.
My eyes have seen too much tonight.
My ears have heard their folds.
Will you remember everytime you said you'd wait with me.
Through the dark til we could see.
All the shards with clarity.
Steadier than I am.
And I'll remember every bone I heard that broke tonight.
Seeking solice from the light.
My eyes have seen too much tonight.
My ears have heard their folds.
Will you remember all the times you said you'd wait with me.
Through the dark til we could see.
All the shards with clarity.
Steadier than I am.
And I believe in every word I heard you say tonight.
Finding peace despite tonight.
You're the strength I lack tonight.
Steadier than I am...
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 18 July :: 5.59pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: circle takes the square - comes with the fall
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJourna (woohu) l and see what I say about you?
you all had better fill it out or you suck. i took it from jack's older journal.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 18 July :: 1.40am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: every time i die - she's my rushmore
Cut your break lines, brake your headlights and waited for you at the stop sign.
Disconnected iron lungs, insurance fires, our smothered young.
Always the first one on the scene. A pyromantic midsummer nights dream.
Thank you lord:
1) for this oil slick.
2) for her car wreck.
3) for I'm lovesick.
Heaven sent us a hero, but Hell tried his resolve. And when you thought we were done for.
I pulled through. While you rested your eyes in the driver seat, I sat and watched you.
Always the first one on the scene. A pyromantic midsummer nights dream.
Trust me.
We'll wait for it, pray for it, step on the brakes till we're over it, under it, screaming like bombs for it.
Oh dear me, I've done it again.
Thank you lord:
4) for the loaded gun.
5) for the bad aim.
6) for I'm lonesome.
God is smiling down on us, he shines his grace on everyone.
[p.s. - The greatest lovers were murderers first.]
i am being contacted by a lot of people. bands, people and people in the recording industry. they like my scream and my voice. once i get some original music out i have a chance of getting signed. should be interesting to see what happens.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 16 July :: 3.32pm
because i am so fucking bored.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 15 July :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: taking back sunday - ...slowdance on the inside
http://www.purevolume.com/lastweekindecember
goooo!!!! click it. two new songs up. help me get promoted, find a band, then a label and then you can say you know that awesome guy that screams (not really, but you can say you know me)
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 12 July :: 12.58pm
random thoughts and confessions
Remember when people had feelings?
Remember when people were nice and you were friends with everyone?
Remember when things mattered?
Am I making this up?
I think people take me for granted. I give so much and don't ask anything in return, so I don't get anything. I don't want to be selfish but it'd be nice if...oh, forget it.
What the hell goes through the mind of girls? They don't even care to recognize the feelings of guys, yes, we have them too! I guess I'm not the typical guy, but I don't like being treated like dirt, nor do I treat women like dirt. I guess I just need to find a girl that's more like me?
I get so lonely sometimes that I've been talking to myself to just hear a voice; and I have full conversations too, being both sides. Sometimes I don't know I am doing it until the sound of my own voice startles me.
L'amo tuttavia, e so che ciò non significa niente adesso. non ho altro probabilitá. la voglio appena essere felice che significa probabilmente una vita completamente privo di me. fa che lei deve fare.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 10 July :: 11.13pm
High School Lows
If I’m just a slave to my high school days
Then when does a boy become a man
They say at 16 I will get tough and mean
College prep rally pep peachy keen
And ill meet a gal and take her to the prom
And maybe we’ll make out by the old viewpoint
But, there are no gals, no pep rallies, good pals
Stay away from these high school
My teacher says that I’m brilliant
My mother says I’m a star
My girlfriend just avoids me
But I still pay for the dinner and the movie
My room is filled with abandon
My homework is yet left undone
I look at pictures of myself as a small child
All filled with hope and so alive but
Oh, these high school days
Take that away, take me away, take me away
Stress and hard duress replace the hope I had everyday
All these high school days
Take that away, take myself away
If only I could skip forward or back
The best years of my life oh my god I hope not lets go
I hope not lets go
My friends are overachievers
My love is burning me down
My left nut has this crazy itch during homeroom
oh god that girl just saw me scratch my
all control is now spiraling
my grades look pretty damn low
I want to motivate myself, but how the hell am I supposed to work
I do not love these high school days
Take that away, take me away, take me away
Stress and hard duress replace the hope I had everyday
All these high school days
Take that away, I take myself away
If only I could skip forward or back
The best years of my life oh my god I hope not lets go
I hope not lets go
So listen young boys to the words that I speak
Heed then and hold them to stay
Never let go of the cowboy inside
Or you’ll die in your high school days
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 10 July :: 7.09pm
Emo, that's you! You prefer the musical stylings
of various heartbroken artists, such as
Dashboard Confessional (for the average emo
Joe). You have probably had your heart broken,
otherwise you just like being sad. Either way,
you're emo, be proud!
What is your stereotype?
brought to you by Quizilla
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 9 July :: 11.56am
an X if its true, an _ if its false. add one of your own at the end.
(_) I have never been drunk
(x) I never have smoked pot
(_) I never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) I never have kissed a member of the same sex
(x) I never crashed a friend's car
(x) I have never been to Japan
(_) I never ridden in a taxi
(x) I never have been in love
(x) I never have had sex
(_) I never have been dumped
(x) I never shoplifted
(_) I never have been fired
(_) I have never cut myself on purpose
(_) I never have been in a fist fight
(_) I never snuck out of my parent's house
(x) I never have been arrested
(x) I never made out with a stranger
(_) I never stole anything from my job
(x) I never celebrated New Year's in Time Square
(x) I never went on a blind date
(x) I never lied to a friend
(x) I never had a crush on a teacher
(x) I never celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(x) I never have been to Europe
(x) I never skipped school
(x) I never slept with a co-worker
(x) I never have thrown up in a bar
(x) I never have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I never have eaten sushi
(x) I never have been snowboarding
(x) I never have been happy with myself
(x) I never have met a movie star
(x) I never went to a prom
(x) I never bungee jumped
(x) I never have been to a pop concert
(x) I never have dated someone for over a year
(_) I never ate a mango
(x) I never killed anyone before ...or have i...
(x) I never went sailing
(_) I have never had a job
(_) I have never told someone how much they meant to me.
(x) I never have gone sky diving
(x) I never ran outside and danced in the street naked.
(x) I have never had a lesbian/gay close friend.
(x) I have never watched C-SPAN for over an hour.
(_) I have never been out of the country
(x) I have never made out in a carwash.. sounds fun though
(x) I have never had cum come out of my nose during a blow job
(x) I have never gone night swimming with a hot person of the opposite sex
(_) I have never eaten peanut butter.
(x) I have never seen Citizen Kane all the way through.
(_) I have never broken a bone.
(x) I have never been able to think of original "I have nevers"
(x) I have never enjoyed eating veal
(x) I have never been whale watching
(_) I have never stayed up until 10 AM listening to music
(x) I have never seen real boobies
(x) I have never liked rap
i'm bored.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 8 July :: 2.09pm
:: Mood: screaminging
:: Music: finch - what it is to burn
so according to my brother i should give up guitar, and all my other instruments and become a vocalist in a screamo/hardcore band because i scream really good and i sing decently. that could be fun.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 6 July :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: zao - a fall farewell
i am jack's mindless rant. i quit learning songs for people, girls to be specific. i take time out of many days to learn things and what do i get? nothing, not even a "good job, i really liked it."
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 5 July :: 11.28pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: the postal service - nothing better
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 5 July :: 1.54am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: a static lullaby - love to hate, hate to me
this is eric awake with insomnia. see keri, i told you i would be up. i'm eating rice at the moment. i'm so bored...and tired. someone needs to do something with eric tomorrow, i don't want to be sitting here all day. argh...i'm going to watch a move. rawr......i have no idea.
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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2004 4 July :: 2.53pm
:: Mood: in pain
:: Music: circle takes the square - our need to bleed
got back from the volkslaufe last night. ran the 5k. i ran 23:47. i was 29th in my age group and 158th overall. it was soo hot. i started throwing up all the water that i drank and it was looking redish and pink. i thought it was something in my stomach or something. i find out later that it was blood i was throwing up. so that sucks, my stomach is still bothering me. oh well, i'll live. i have nothing to do tonight so i'll probably sleep.
Take the quiz: "Method of Suicide"
Mutilation
You have come to terms with your demons and wish to see yourself bleed. Your method of suicide is Mutilation.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 29 June :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: saosin - seven years
Taking on seven years
the holy ghost had left alone
Test my arms, kick like crazy
I've been trying way too long
only push the way off to fight you
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
Getting off my chest
the story ends
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
That mistake was gold
I know that without you
is something that I could never do
That was why staple the eyes and
seven dates for me to sell machines
and tear on
seven years you assured me
that I'd be fine if I complied
only push the way off to fight you
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
Getting my chest
the story ends
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
That mistake was gold
I know that without you
is something that I could never do
That was why staple the eyes and
seven dates for me to sell machines
and tear on
Sorry I'm Sorry I'm to blame
Don't treat me like I ever accused you
Don't treat me I'm to blame
Don't treat me like I ever accused you
Don't treat me I'm to blame
Don't treat me like I ever accused you
Don't treat me I'm to blame
Don't treat me like I ever accused you
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 27 June :: 9.04pm
Your soul is DARK. You aren't too happy with your
life, though you may feel you should be. You're
probably solitary, pessimistic, brooding,
possibly nocturnal, but mostly a general
unknown. You might have a hidden liking for
pain and destruction, but you're probably more
masochistic that sadistic if that's true. (look
it up if you don't know what they mean!) Those
that think they know you tend to place you
closer to evil on a scale of good and evil,
which might not be true. What people see may
not be who you actually are. Some people fear
you and others mock you. What isn't really
known, though, is that you're not pure evil.
You're just a mysterious, misunderstood - and
sadly, forsaken - soul.
What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla
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failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 26 June :: 7.17pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: the midway state - barefoot
i leave for midland the 2nd of august and i come back 4th. then i leave again for pennsylvania for a week.
failed the crash test
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brandnew26
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::
2004 26 June :: 1.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: mewithoutyou - bullet to binary
dead tired, ran 8 miles this morning. i'm falling asleep right now.
failed the crash test
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