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Until The Day I Die

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xjayk

:: 2010 28 October :: 1.00pm

Maybe if we could just rewind the clock it'd all be okay
maybe if I could go back I'd do things a little different.


Some days I wake up and absolutely hate what I've become, 'it was never supposed to be this way'

And others

I'm so proud of myself and feel so on top of the world.


Today is not one of those days. I want to hide. And lock myself in.


I hate divorce; I hate mistakes; and today I hate just about everything.

I hate the fact I dont have people around that I can just go to whenever.


I need some 'me time'

I just need a day off...or a month

from everything not just work.

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 28 October :: 12.54pm










When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
This was her wise reply

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will there be rainbows day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

What will be, will be
Que sera sera...

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 19 October :: 12.24pm

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 17 October :: 6.47pm

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh Oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when your dead how people start listenin'

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls


Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 24 September :: 10.32pm

the situation is fuck retarded

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 20 September :: 10.01pm

Wooo! Got my Marilyn Monroe dress and shoes!

Fade Into Memory


xjayk

:: 2010 17 September :: 7.05pm

Its so hard to let you go
Its so hard to watch you leave
I try to speak up
I try to talk things out
But I can never find the words...
I've always been a pro when it came to talkin' till now.

*sigh*

I almost saw something in you last night. I almost saw that man I fell in love with, and God knows how badly I truely wanted to grasp onto you and not let you go...but I watched as you faded to black.
You didn't want this...right?
I don't.
I never will be okay with this.
But I'm tired.
And you haven't cared for awhile.

In this life I've had a lot of " me's, and I's" but everyone knows I put You first. And God knows I would bend...but there's a difference between bending and breaking for you...and I've done both.

I lay on an old couch waiting for the night to be over, without you there nights are so unbearable. I hate admitting how much I need you. But for the first time in 6 years I got sick - horribly sick- and you weren't there.
Still not.

You call yourself a Freeman
Well tell me this
Does a freeman bear the chains you have strapped to you?
Didn't think so


Why can't I just be mad at you and be 'better off without you'


....


.......


....


..

.




Ass

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 9 September :: 10.41am

And I wonder
Day to day
I don't like you
Anyway

And I don't need your
Shit today
You're pathetic
In your own way

I feel for you
Better fuckin' go away
I will be here
Better fuckin' go away

And I'm doing the best I ever did
I'm doing the best that I can
And I'm doing the best I ever did

And I don't need to
Fantasize
You are my pet
All the time

And I don't mind if
You go blind
You get what you get
Until you're through with mine

I fuckin' feel for you
(Better fuckin' go away)
And I will be here
You better go away

I feel for you
(Better fuckin' go away)
I will be here
You better go away

And I'm doing the best I ever did
I'm doing the best that I can
I'm doing the best I ever did
Now go away


acidtears

:: 2010 15 August :: 12.54pm

You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me, and please... believe me when I say, I love you

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 15 August :: 12.13am

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you I love you until the end of time
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may come what may
I will love you oh i will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day

3 Ghosts | Fade Into Memory


xjayk

:: 2010 9 August :: 8.23pm
:: Music: A Rocket To the Moon; Like We Used To

I haven't seen you in days.

I'd miss you

...if I could


I've been working a lot, I know.
But seeing your face at the end of the day has always felt so right.
Why don't you look at me, or greet me at the door like you once did?
(is this the beginning of the end?)
A question a dread to ask.
You glue yourself to the television as if it were God himself standing there before you...I don't even get a glance.
I smile at you and jokingly ask if you've missed me...'No'
(did you realize that it has been 5 days...now 6)
Honey what's wrong? Long day at work? ' Nothings wrong. '
(I'm sure)
I'm so numb to you. And I know that its a defense mechanism but that's the only way I can protect myself from you now. What happens from here on out is.... I wish I knew.

I'd miss you

....if I could


It has become hard now to miss something unresponsive and blank.

But oh, is it easy to miss the one who once would drive 20 miles to see me, even if it meant not leaving the driveway, or the man who would wrap his arms around me when he thought I was asleep and whisper in my ear 'I love you' then give me a squeeze before a kiss on the neck.

Yet in the same breath I am not dense I know he's not there anymore.

But in all fairness
...neither am I

The only difference is - how long will it take for you to notice?

1 Ghosts | Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 3 August :: 11.21pm

A guy called me a bitch at work today. He looked 16, didn't have an ID so I didn't sell him chew. So he called me a bitch. And I don't know why, but I laughed like it was the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time.

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 2 August :: 5.05pm




I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 1 August :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: amused

Adam Lambert has been like crack for me the past week.

Fade Into Memory


acidtears

:: 2010 31 July :: 3.58pm
:: Music: Lily Allen

I could say that I'll always be here for you
But that would be a lie and quite a pointless thing to do
I could says that I'll always have feelings for you
But I've got a life ahead of me, I'm only twenty two

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

You always made it clear that you hated my friends
You made me feel so guilty when I was running around with them
And everything was always about being cool
And now I've come to realize there's nothing cool about you at all
Lily Allen Lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder,
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older,
And now you've gone it feels as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

Fade Into Memory

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