pandemic
wow, i totally forgot about this site. how have you guys been? i am hoping 2020 hasn't completely got you down . i will say this was easily the worst year of my life but i think i will be able to finish the year off strong.

i am thinking of you guys. & i praying or sending positive vibes.. whatever you believe.

Updates
i feel relaxed, happy and free. i will be divorced soon. i will also be done with nursing school. i cannot wait to go forward in this new chapter with my girls, just us <3

after nursing school, i will be heading back to school for my BSN & then continuing forward with my CNM (certified nurse midwife).

Love yourself <3 Heal & shift <3

rawr.
i am tired of people telling me whats best for my daughter. im tired of being told i am not doing enough this pregnancy & that i dont take care of myself. i eat when im hungry. shes growing above average. and yes im anemic again... but im taking my vitamins like im supposed to. i dont drink smoke or do any type of drug whether it be recreational or prescription... just so my baby doesnt get any effects... smdh im so frustrated already.

where do i start...
blah... it's how i feel. ugh.


thank God for Khali Rose.

updating on life.
well, i'm officially a "high risk" pregnancy . because of the intermittent bleeding and glucose intolerance. but, now that i see a high risk doctor every week - my baby has stopped playing with my placenta & hurting me lol. i guess she just wanted the extra attention lol. i'm 34 weeks, and so ready for her to pop out and come home already. my regular OBGYN thinks she's going to be chunky & that i'll have a problem with shoulder dystocia (where their shoulder gets stuck behind the pubic bone during delivery) so i think he's pushing for a c-section at 38 weeks. my high risk doctor thinks she's going to be small so he wants me to eat anything and everything i want. 2 doc's & they don't agree on ANYTHING lol. but luckily she seems as though she's healthy & happy. so when she's ready to make her appearance she will :D

- pregnancy , welcome 3rd trimester.
even though my baby is perfectly healthy & moves around fine. the rest of my body is doing a terrible job adjusting to pregnancy. for the past week i've had severe "rib pain" which just means - hey your organs are pushing up against your ribs, it's gonna hurt & there's nothing you can do about it. and i got a bad result on my first gestational diabetes test. so today i did my 3 hour test. i swear i almost passed out during my first hour. but, after that i felt fine. but, i've been dizzy for 2 days. blurred vision, nausea, headaches & rib pain. lol and i haven't officially started the 3rd trimester yet. lol , so good luck to me ! lol. but, i can't stand my doctor's nurse. she doesn't answer any of my questions. she always seems in such a hurry. & since everyone is giving birth my doctor is gone most of the time lately. but, i asked where my placenta is placed now - because it's been low. she said she will check & she didn't. i asked how much the baby is weighing - she didn't tell me. she said the baby's head is measuring perfect for 26 weeks. and told me that i was 26 weeks along. i told her - no i'm 27 weeks. i asked if that made a difference & she didn't answer.. just annoying.

chase the moment - fall forever.