chuckitatthewall
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2004 10 October :: 8.34pm
HELLO THERE!
My weekend sucked pooh. I left for Shasta on Friday morning with my mother and we came back yesterday night. I went to help my sister move into a much better house and neighborhood. The place she was living in before was really really dumpy. It was on a street that was paved so long ago that its mostly gravel now. There are children running in the streets with dirty clothes on. One of the people has pot in a makeshift green house. The pot is supposed to be for medicinal use only but he sells it to anyone. There are like 10 dogs running around freely and a million cats and their kittens. This cluster of residential streets is behind a wood will where they take logs and turn them into boards and other stuff like that.
My sisters roommates are extremely stupid. Annie is 24 and has a 5 year old son named Jesse. She did a bunch of drugs and stuff when she was younger but according to Michelle she has gotten her life together since then. Her boyfriend has a house in Yreka but spends most of his nights in their house doing God knows what with Annie. He calls my sister's dog "Jock Strap" (His name is Jake) and he uses improper grammar all the time. Hes really really nasty. He also did drugs and has a baby who lives in the Bay Area with it's mother. So they are both really horrible people to be around. I think she likes them because they make her feel smarter and better.
Other stuff has happened but I can't talk now. I just needed to describe that.
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 6 October :: 10.03pm
hello everyone. TODAY WAS WONDERFUL!....Not really.
I WENT TO CCD! Sorta fun. I saw Lynn. She kept talking about things I didn't want her to talk about at that exact moment. I saw the dude,Justin, who was supposed to have hot arms. SOMETHING HAPPENED! They are not hot anymore. His voice is hot and he has really pretty eyes. *Lynn so nicely pointed that out for me.* I think that I am so desperate to see guys that I will find every single thing that is hot about them so that I can be happy. It sucks. My mom asked him and his sister if they remembered me and they did. SO SMART ARE THEY WHO REMEMBER ME! Lets see..I saw my Confirmation sponsor. She is so nice. I like her a lot. Duh. I wouldn't have picked her if I didn't like her. The teachers I work for are so annoying and I really hate them.
I'm not to bad at bagpipes. Its fun. Its hard though because I have to put so much air pressure into it. Its alright. My lips really start to feel it first.
Well. Goodbye everyone.
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 5 October :: 12.34am
hello there.
Bad news: Giants were eliminated. Not like I didn't know that would the result.
This weekend was fun.... I spent most of it packing up all my stuff. Then sleeping. I watchced American Dreams. I LOVE THAT SHOW SOOOO MUCH!
Tomorrow I start my bagpipe lessons.YAY!
Today was crappy. I went to school. Jessica had a shadow. The shadow was good. Then Joanne showed up. My day is always pleasent (I know i'm spelling that wrong) until Joanne shows up and her annoying sister, Jessica. I hate them. I don't hate Joanne because she is taking over Louise. I just really really don't like her. I don't how annoying she is. I don't like how fake she is. She really acts fake. I mean she talks all weird and stuff and says things and I can just tell shes forcing it. I don't know why I waste my typing complaining about her. Lately I've been saying comments under my breath about how I don't like her. I'm not sure if Louise has noticed but I'm kind of half hoping she does. Like last Friday I said "Well..my day was good until she came" and Louise looked but I'm not sure if she was listening.
Megan Lott has been pissing me off a lot for about a week or 2. She has gotten this new attitude where she acts like she is so much better than me. Whenever I see her eating now I feel like yelling "YEA! HAVE ANOTHER ONE TUBBY!" She is so large and she eats constantly. I wonder why people who are so fat just continue to eat. Don't they realize that that is the reason they got fat and remain fat? I also wonder how people can be so rude. I don't think that I'm that rude. I know I have my moments, but doesnt everyone? Well, I guess there are people that I'm just never going to get along with. Megan Lott is one of them. I'm glad though. I never liked her much anyway.
Well...I guess I'm done. I'm tired so I better be off to bed.
Wish me luck....I have a long 2-3 weeks ahead of me. Bye!
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 3 October :: 12.48am
The seasons are really changing. California is a really nice place because our seasons aren't very extreme and there are 4 really distinct seasons. It is fall now and I can really feel it. The days are getting so much shorter and that feeling is back. The feeling of wanting to be all cozy in a bed or on a couch while watching Billy Elliot or Angelas Ashes or Shakespeare in Love. I love waking up in the morning and seeing clouds instead of the sun. And in a few weeks most of the birds will gone, the trees bare, and the hills green. This winter I will not get to hear my precious owl that has so nicely screeched me to sleep the past winter. Maybe the next house will have an owl but I doubt it. Now that it is fall the house is smelling different. We've been closing the doors more and cooking inside more. I love that. American Dreams has started. Oh yes, and the biggest one: it is no longer unbearably hot. The only thing I'm going to miss about the summer is baseball. Mainly, J.T Snow because he most likely will not be returning to the Giants next year because they are asses. This Christmas will not be as good as the past in terms of presents because mom and dad just bought a house and there won't be as much money. Thats okay though. I understand. I do need new clothes which will be tough on them. I grew. My arms are too long for all my long sleeved shirts and I need new pants too because mine are shot. I wish I could pay for it on my own but I just can't.
Maureen is putting my money into a thingy that will get it more money. I don't quite understand it but her financial advisor said that it would really help get me more money with only a small chance of losing money. After Christmas I will have about $1000 in my savings account so why just let it sit there? I need to get more if I ever plan on making it to England.
I'm dead tired. Bye
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 29 September :: 9.05pm
GOOD NEWS...FINALLY!
As you know my parents have been searching for a house to buy. WE'VE FOUND ONE! They actually bought it....I mean finished all the paper work and stuff. My parents are going to be able to close escro (sp?) by October 20th. So we will be moving in that weekend. So that means I have 3 weeks to pack up all my stuff and help pack up everything else in the house. Also we'll be scrubbing and washing and lifting tons of heavy ass boxes and moving them downstairs. Then carrying dressers and beds and different pieces of furniture. I am excited by the idea because moving is fun....for like the 1st day. Then you do it for 2 more days and then its all over. When its all over its a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. You get to look around and feel proud that you helped with that. This move will be much better. My last until I move out. I can take EVERYTHING out of the boxes. Last time mom said to leave stuff I wouldn't be using in its box because we'd be moving soon.
Lately, the fights with democrats have really heated up. I need to go to Texas where the people have brains and actually like George Bush. BUSH IS COOL! Kerry is scary. OOO Look...it rhymes. My dad seems to think that Bush will win. I hope he is right but I think Kerry will be our next president. Maybe that is just because I'm surrounded by democrats. California has got to be the most democratic state. How come we elected a Republican to be the governor if most Californians hate Republicans?
Well...today kicks off CCD. From now on my Wednesdays are going to be school then CCD from 4:30 to about 6:30 or 7:00 PM. Its going to suck...At least I will see the dude with the hot arms. Not hot face...hot arms. His face is not the best but I must say it is not the ugliest. But I only like his arms. He plays baseball..he has to have nice arms.
WELL THEN I'LL BE OFF...HALF HOUR TILL I HAVE TO GO. Tonight it is 7:00-9:00. Arent they nice?
Bye Bye
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 23 September :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Chop suey - System of a Down
9.23.04
No quote today, unless I feel like it later, and I just might feel like it later.
So what's been happening lately? Well, I'm singing at The Taste of Morgan Hill Saturday morning at 10:00, and am paranoid that I'm going to mess something up. But oh well.
Auditioned for the "play" which is basically six comedy sketches. He was only casting 12 people out of everyone who tried out, and I got in! I'm so happy! Except we had practice yesterday and man does acting like a chimp do Hell on your legs and back. I didn't even know the muscles in your back could get sore! But they did. And it's weird indeed.
Peach iced tea is good.
After school today I headed over to Johnny Rockets with Louise, Joanne, and Kiley. I just got a soda and stole off of other people's plates, well, I usually waited for them to offer first.
Oh yeah! Yesterday my dad let me drive through the cemetery! He drove in just through the gates and stopped and randomly asked "You wanna drive?" I went "Sure!" So I got to drive! It was fun. We drove to my great grandpa's grave, because it was his birthday. He would have been 97 I think it was. Dad told me to take out a Sharpee and we wrote "Happy birthday G-pa!" on the polished part of his grave. It will wash off eventually; we weren't violating it or anything. After that he let me get back behind the wheel and I went down to check out this shrine they had in the cemetery Japanese style. It was really pretty - the gates were carved stone and the building itself was painted reds with a black curvy pagoda roof. Then I drove up a big hill where they had a big stone building where they burned the bodies of people for cremation and discovered there we a few more graves up there, but they were very rich graves. They were large and of dark polished marble, next to them were waterfalls. Twas so pretty! What would it be like to be buried there? .. Well I guess you wouldn't really know, being that you're dead.
On the way home (no, I was not driving) Dad and I started up the conversation of why my aunt Ceal had chosen to bury Nick. I like talking to her a lot of the time, but there is something about her that is weird. She buried Nick in a graveyard out of our way and with no family members buried there as well, as far as I know. We haven't really gone to visit his grave in a while because it's too far out of the way. None of the headstones as decorated an unique they're all the flat boring ones. Dad says it was because she wants to mourn Nick's death by herself, that she wants his death all to herself. I think in some way that's very true. Well, she's been mourning over his death since it happened, she's never really stopped. I wonder if she holds a grudge against us because we've been able to move on, or maybe she prefer's it that way, that she gets all Nick's attention. Some of it really doesn't make sense, and it's hard to explain like this unless you happen to know her well enough to understand. She's really a nice person, but there's something that's inwardly selfish about her. She doesn't mean to be, that's just the way she can be every once in a while. Spoiled, I suppose. But you can tell it's not something she's aware of or that she thinks she's better than anyone. But then again that's hard to explain as well, so I might as well quit trying.
Four day weekend. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Yay!
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 23 September :: 9.20pm
So this is just a bunch of crap that I've been saving up in my over crowded head.
This week went by really fast. Thats good. I think I did really well on my first Algebra test. It is so weird but I am actually getting how to do Math for the first time in my life. Today we worked in groups on a big problem and the rest of my group couldnt figure out how to set up the proportion but then I finally did. I felt proud of myself.
So Joanne is really annoying me. I feel like she is turning Louise against me in some way. Louise is turning meaner. Shes got more of an attitude and I know its only started since she started hanging out with Joanne. I feel like they are practically joined at the hip. When Louise is not around Joanne says "Where is Louise?" and when they are together Joanne always has to know who Louise is talking to and what they are talking about. Shes like one of those abusive boyfriends. Louise has become obsessed with her and vice versa (sp?). Its really annoying. Then Joannes laugh bothers me and how she wants to do those weird voice things which she sucks at. Sometimes that type of stuff gets really old but she keeps doing it. I feel like I'm losing a really good friend......IF YOU THINK THAT I AM MAKING UNFAIR JUDGEMENTS THEN FUCK YOU! THIS IS HOW I FEEL AND I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY! I DONT LIKE JOANNE! AT ALL!
So I spent the night at Lynns house on Saturday. We went to Great America. There was only one hot dude there and he wasn't even that great. There was all those idiot people that are all gangster and are like 20 with their 20 year old girlfriends and 3 year old kids. That night we watched Dirty Dancing Havanah Nights. I love that movie. Its so good. Then we prank called like 4 guys over and over. I thought that was boring but Lynn and Sarah were very amused by it.
On Sunday, her mom made us go to 11:30 mass so that sucked. But overall it was a nice day. It was cloudy and it rained in the morning. The first rain of the summer and it happened on like the last day of summer.
School is going pretty well other than Joanne. I MISS GUYS! If they had a co ed Catholic Highschool in the area with uniforms I'd go there because I am attached to uniforms. They are so much easier than picking out what youre going to wear every day. College will suck when it comes to clothes.
The sun is really low right now and its only 6:45. How lovely. I can't wait for winter. 3 DAYS TILL AMERICAN DREAMS STARTS AGAIN! OOOO I CANT WAIT! I LOVE THAT SHOW SO MUCH!
Ok I'm done.
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LoupGarou
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2004 15 September :: 12.06am
HAPPY MIYAVI DAY!
wee! He turned 23 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEV-SAN!
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 13 September :: 9.47pm
HELLO THERE!
Well I knew I'd be here to write this and if you consider yourself my friend and you didnt know I'd come back and type this then you obviously don't know my parents. So here it goes:
WE DIDNT GET THE HOUSE! Nope...again. As usual. The small fragments of hope that I did have are all gone. I knew this would happen. I haven't really thought about it too much but now that I am its making me really sad. My mom told me. She keeps saying "There'll be another one and were going to move soon." WHAT THE FUCK?! Theres supposed to have been another one for like 6 years. I'm not exagherrating. (sp). It always turns out this way. "Were going to get house" Me: "Yea sure." Them "No, really were going to get a house this time. I have a good feeling." Me: "You always have a good feeling" Them: "Will you just shut up, Marilyn?" Me: "Stop lieing to us.." Then they turn around and pretend like they didnt hear me. It always happens this way. I just want to live in a house and know the next time I move will be to move out on my own. Doesnt look like that'll happen. We move from rental to rental to rental. I've lived in 5 houses and 1 town house. I better get a good job and be able to buy a house for myself cause I can't handle the disappointment my whole life.
My life has been far from pleasent to say the least. My sister went into a phsco hospital when I was 3. She dislocated my moms thumb. She threw tantrums every night at dinner. We had the police at our house several times because neighbors complained about the fighting. I once went to Target with my mom and they wouldn't take her check because there wasnt enough money. So she got me my M&M's and we walked out completely embarrassed. That was when I was about 7. My sisters had to wear rasty clothes and get $5 shoes from K-Mart when they were little. All this because my parents lost a house because of an emergency surgery and Michelle's mental problems causing them to decrease the amount of work they could do. We also lived in a house that had termites all over the front door and holes in the shower. We had to beg them for a new shower. I know that people might not believe this but I swear it is all true. I'm not that starved for attention that I'd need to make this up. So anyway, my life has improved quite a bit but those memories still haunt me. Then I get sad thinking about it. My life has been better than a lot of people's but a lot worse than a lot of peoples too. To be completely honest I am somewhat jealous of the way Louise's life was when she was little. I know they had problems but every family does. I still want her grandma. Well I dont want to write about my life anymore.
THINGS ARE POOPY.....
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 8 September :: 9.28pm
:: Music: angry music
i'm writing 2 days in row..how odd
Today sucks. Its HIGHLY unlikely we'll get this house after all. I don't think my dad cares enough. Also the other house people dont have their act together. This really really sucks. I knew it would happen yet I'm upset. We'll never get a house...EVER! We'll always live in some rental never knowing when my mom will start looking for another rental and forever it will stay that way until I move out.
I know this really stupid but I'm going to write about it anyway. My favorite player on the Giants is not being played enough and his average is very high right now and its so unfair. The fucking manager says that him and the other first/third baseman are doing just fine with the playing time but I fucking think that they are not! GOD! ITS NOT FAIR! The other stupid dude is hitting .270ish and my favorite one is batting .326. Which player would you put in more? I HATE THAT STUPID MANAGER! POOP ON HIS UGLY OLD 68 YEAR OLD HEAD! Poor Snow (the last name of the good one) will probably leave the Giants next year and go hit .330 for some enemy team of the Giants. I hope he goes to the A's cause then I can still watch him play.
Today my dad drove me around downtown because we had to go drop some papers off at family court for one his cases. We drove by Bellarmine cause he wanted to show me. Thats the nicest thing hes done today.
I'm so disapointed right now I could cry. In fact I am crying right now. I'm not sure why.... but I am. Wow..I havent cried that much since I was going through my depression time after Aunt Marie and Mr. Vane died.
Maybe in some magical turn of events I'll write of happier things tomorrow or Friday. But I'm not so sure that will happen...
FUCK THE GIANTS! I HATE THEM
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 7 September :: 11.58pm
HELLO THERE YOUNG/ OLD PEOPLE!
School is getting better. Joanne (Louise's new friend) is not pissing me off as much as she was last week but that could change tomorrow. The climbing up 53 stairs several times a day is getting quite old. Also all the girls. One thing that I severely hate about other girls is screaming. Its so high pitched and its so loud. AH! GIVE ME SOME DUCT TAPE TO PUT ON THEIR MOUTHS! I am still forgetting a lot of things for different classes. I have got to stop doing that or else I'll be screwed. OOO GOOD SONG! "Touch me" by The Doors. I like it.
Come on come on come on now TOUCH ME BABE! blah blah blah...
My parents have been looking at houses. They are going to put an offer in for a house tomorrow unless something happens which it always does. I'm doubtful that I'll ever live in a house that is not a rental until I buy one myself. I think that being a pessimist saves me from disappointment. You can blame my mom for this because when I was little Louise and I always wanted to play at eachothers houses. Sometimes she'd say no and I would cry. Yes..I would actually have tears come out of my eyes. I know its pathetic but the last time I did that was when I was 7. In order to save myself from the crying I would say "Mom is probably just going to say no so don't get upset". When she did say no I still got upset but just not as bad. Now whenever my mom or dad say that are close to buying a house I know it really means that were close but not close enough. GOD! I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT WHEN WE GET THERE WE CAN UNPACK EVERYTHING. Last time we moved I asked my mom why we left several large boxes unpacked in the garage and she replied "Because we aren't going to stay here for too long." We've lived here for just over 2 years and facing another move again. Before this last move we lived in a shitty ass house for 7 years. We had bad termite problems, holes in the kitchen floor, tiles coming out of the kitchen counter, old carpet that came up in several spots, and our windows rattled so loudly any time a door was open or closed. All of us had chronic colds and allergies. When we moved our sinus problems cleared up and we were instantly feeling better. Well..I think thats enough about moving. Everyone who even cares about me in the slightest bit please wish or pray or hope or whatever that we can get this house.
Lets see.. my sister came home this weekend. She ruined it. She constantly compares everyone to my dad or her or whoever else she can think of. She will say "Your like me, Marilyn because..." I HATE BEING COMPARED! IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO ME THAT WILL MAKE ME WANT TO BEAT YOU, IT IS TO COMPARE ME TO PEOPLE. Especially to people that I dont like or I dont care about.
My neighbor has strange sleeping habits. I think he is a police officer at night. Somedays hes home at night and sometimes hes gone all night. Sometimes he has his wife over with their dog and they work on their garden. I know they are married because he told my dad once. I don't understand why he doesnt live with his wife. Sometimes people who I assume are his parents go into the house when he isn't home and do stuff. I'm so confused by it. I shouldnt be so concerned with other peoples lives but I can't help it. Its so odd that it makes me curious.
This weather is killing me. People who talk to me are probably tired of me complaining but I'll do it again anyway. Our weather since Saturday has been upper 90's to low 100's. Its going to stay that way until Saturday. This severly sucks butt. I CANT WAIT TILL WINTER! OOOO IT WILL BE SOOO NICE! AND COLD! AND BEAUTIFUL!
ERIC RUINED MY WRITING MOMENT. SOME ASSHOLE SENT ME AN IM CHAIN THING. I'M DONE HERE! BYE BYE!
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LoupGarou
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2004 3 September :: 10.22pm
:: Music: Erode - Dir en Grey
Jared Leto is doing a gay movie with Heath Ledger ^^
"What a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing.... I want to go home."
-Wednesday Addams; The Addam's Familt Reunion
Well, I've been told I should update my journal again which is true, because I've been planning to write a lot in here. Come to think of it I should probably go one Quizilla and make a second quiz thingy as well. M-chan would be happy if I did that.
Let's see now.. school's been going very well. Got my first English Honors quiz back with a 95% which is an A, so I'm very happy ^^. I've met a bunch of people there. Maybe later I'll list them and tell you a bit about them (oh fun).
First I think I'm going to talk about something my sister and I talked about about a week or two ago. I can't remember how we got on the subject, but I found it somewhat interesting, so I'm going to put my opinion on it here.
The Catholic church I think, though others may think otherwise, is a very confusing religion. They teach you that God created the universe, that God knows everything that's going to happen before-hand, and that no one is perfect besides God.
First thing I disagree with? I don't think God's perfect. Why? Because the Catholic church also teaches that God gets sad when we do wrong, that he has decisions to make. In my opinion, if God was perfect, why would he have to make choices? Why would he get sad when someone does something he doesn't like? He felt pain when he had to make that desicion to wipe out the planet in a flood (and yes, I know that's only a story), and he felt anguish when His son died on the cross. He had to make a choice, and He had to make a decision. He was sad about that decision and didn't want to do it, but He knew he had to. If you were perfect would you have regrets? What is "perfect" anyway.
The Catholic church also says that we were created in God's image. If nobody's perfect, and everybody was created in the likeness of Him, would he be perfect?
Secondly, free choice. I've been taught over the years that God gives us free choice, but then at the same time He also knows everything we're going to do. If He knows, tell me, how is that free choice? It may create the illusion we have a choice what to do, but in reality, we don't. So then if even God does not entirely grant us that, does that mean this believe of "free-choice" never even existed? Are our lives played out one by one, and what we think are surprises really aren't all that surprising?
Now on another thing having to do with belief, but not Catholicism. In some religions they believe that you are reincarnated repetitively. What you did in your past life has to do with what you become next. Many people believe that it is unlucky to become and animal of some sort and that it's much better to become a human. But I really don't find humans all that great. People assume that all animals are dumber than us, and I imagine they are in a lot of ways. But they have something that we lose when we're very young. As we grow up we lose our child-like innocence, but I noticed that animals really have no guilt. If they kill, it's usually for food. Dogs especially. A lot of people think it's dumb to follow someone around no matter what, because you want someone to love you. But what's wrong with wanting to feel loved?
We're arrogant to think we're better than anything else that lives on this earth. If we can't understand anything about these other things, like what they think, how can we say something like that? I mean you can't just assume.
No, I'm not saying animals are the smartest things in the world, but I do think that some things are of a higher rank than humans in many ways, say I!
Akapookie!
I think too much.
I need to go pack real quick. We're going to Capitola tomorrow.
Okeedokie. Now shall I tell you about people at ND? Naw I think I'll save that for later.
Stab the dolls of hate.
Wash yourself with their blood.
Drive into the raging current of time.
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly. "The earth."
Shout and start creating confusion,
shed your blood for pleasure. And what?
For love? What am I supposed to do?
-"Art of Life" by X Japan
Yush I was looking up the lyrics to that and I liked a few excerpts. Decided to put that one in here ^.^.
Bai now!
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 25 August :: 6.51pm
hiya fools! This will be all about highschool and some random other shit. That should probably go under the "subject" part of this..oh well.
Yesterday was orientation. I carpooled with Lindsay and the second we got there it was like I had cooties or something because she quickly ran off somewhere and thats what she did today when we took her to school. Orientation was REALLY boring but also really helpful. I feel pretty confident I won't get lost except for when I have to change into my clothes for fitness. We did a shit load of icebreaker type stuff and we walked around the school a lot. The lunch sucked so I didn't eat very much of it. I met all the people in my homeroom yesterday. I was on a softball team with one of them. Thats about all for orientation..
Today was my first day. In the morning I was really nervous so I didn't very much (2 nutri grain bars. One of them tasted gross) When I got there I saw Jessica getting out of her car so I went over to her. I was really thankful that someone was there that I could walk in with. Then it was up the 3 fatty ass flights of stairs to get to the lockers. We went to an assembly..that wasn't to bad. They did a singing thing that was pretty cool. After that I had Free Block period. I went with Erin and Cassie (another girl from Holy Family) to the SLC a.k.a the "student life center" then we quickly left. We went to the library and Cassie and I talked at one of the tables with Megan occasionaly coming over to interupt. It bothers me when your talking with someone then somebody else who has no idea what youre talking about interupts and starts a whole new conversation. Its rude. Cassie is really nice but like Lindsay the second she gets the chance she splits. I don't think its that they hate me but that they are a really tight nit group and they dont want any new people intruding. I saw them all at lunch in a little group with nobody new so its unlikely they just hate me. My favorite class was Drama. It was really fun and for some reason I feel pretty comfortable..at least for now. It might be different when we really start doing things in front of everyone and stuff. I thought I was going to miss not having any guys at school but I like it better in a way. I'm a lot more comfortable and there is always Bellarmine...
Well I'm going to go.Byesters
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Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 22 August :: 6.53pm
:: Mood: exanimate
:: Music: Come to Jesus - Mindy Smith (it is very sad-sounding and pretty)
Great Googly Moogly!
"You walk past me -
I can feel your pain.
Time changes everything;
One truth always stays the same:
You're still you,
After all,
You're still you."
"You're Still you" by Josh Groban
Friday night stayed over at my grandma's. I'm proud of myself. Over the two times I went in her pool I swam 70 laps (35 Friday evening and 35 Saturday early afternoon), which is pretty good considering I haven't exercised as regularly as I would have liked to during the summer. And I figure Mema's pool is a bit shorter than the pool we used when my sister and I were on the swim team. Didn't do the laps all at once though. I took it pretty slow, 2-4 at a time. Oh well. I'm happy that my arms are sore.
Is that normal, being happy that your arms are sore?
My grandma's doing very well ^_^. She still has a great sense of humor lol. She's fonny. I luff my Mema.
Today I went to my Godfather and, technically I guess, cousin's house. Mike, my Godfather, is really funny. He and my dad get along so well. They'll be sitting on the couch watching olympics rowing or something and Dad will go "Yeah, Mike, you remember when we used to row for the Santa Clara rowing team?"
"Oh yeah, those were the days"
"Yep. mike used to be the guy with the bullhorn that would stand up and yell, 'ROW! ROW! ROW!'. Yeah, that was great."
And of course they've never done anything like that in their life.
"You know, Dennis (my dad), I'm keeping my eye out for a sitting in a chair competition. I - yeah I think I could get the gold for that."
"I think that should go for the Fall Olympics"
"Hey yeah! That's when all the new TV shows are on."
"Exactly. Great idea, we should do that! Fall Olympics.."
Mike also thinks he's Spiderman. You know those Spiderman decoder cards you can get from a cereal box or something? Apparently when Mike's family went to Hawaii they were going to the movie theaters and when they got up to one of the ticket guys or something Mike pulled out his Spiderman card and said, "Hey like my Spiderman card?"
The guy looke at him.
"Yeah look isn't it cool? These are very rare. I have a Spiderman card" he handed the card to the ticket guy.
"Yeah yeah mister that's really nice," he said nodding politely and pretending to examine the card, smiling.
"Yeah I know isn't it awesome?"
The ticket guy was probably thinking to himself This poor man is retarded . lol ^_^.
Anyway, Mike has three daughters, my cousins: Stephanie, Peggy, and Lauren. Stephanie is 13 and one of the top gymnasts in the state. She'll probably be at the next summer olympics. Peggy is 15 and goes to Mitti. Lauren just turned 18 and graduated from Presentation this year. Every year they celebrate Lauren and Stephanie's birthdays together because they're so close together, so that's what we were there for. things are kind of awkward though, because we're invited and then so are their cousins on their mom's side. I dunno I know they don't mean to make us feel ignored, and maybe I'm just antisocial when it comes to that stuff, but we kind of feel left out. Oh well, what can you do?
I am proud to announce, however, that Mike, Yolanda (his wife), Larry (peggy, Lauren, and Stephanie's uncle on their mom's side), Larry (larry's son lol), Joe (oldest of Larry's sons), and Larry #1's wife are voting for Bush. You can add my parents to that number, and Yolanda's nasically telling Lauren she's voting for Bush this year, since she just turned 18. lol. So that's... 9 people methinks. I was surprised to hear they were on the republican side indeed.
Mike says he think's Kerry's a wimp. Teehee.
You know something I find interesting? I was talking to Jen Carrow the other day, and I'm well aware that she may have the address to this journal, so I can only half hope she doesn't see this. I don't like it when people are angry with me, but who knows? Maybe if she reads this she'll understand what I'm saying.
We were talking about how people can be stereotypical about things, like religion. During that conversation she said something like: "yeah it bugs me when people say things and don't consider other people's feelings." It made me wonder: You think she thought about that when she wrote that note about Mrs. Saunders?
For those that don't know, Mrs. Saunders, my English teacher, had bad hip problems. I think she had surgery on it this summer. But because of this problem she would make pain sounds, like gasps every once in a while when she did things. I don't particularly think that Mrs. Saunders was the greatest nor the friendliest teacher in the world, but when she wasn't teaching, she was really a nice person, and I think that she should at least be respected in some part that she came in to teach us even though her hip sometimes hurt her so much she could hardly walk. For some reason Jen has hated to a point beyond hate.. I guess you could say she practically loathed her. But I could never figure out why. I don't ever remember Mrs. Saunders doing anything besides being exessively grumpy, but maybe there's something deeper than that.
One day she wrote a note. I believe it said something like: "Yeah I bet the reason Mrs. Saunders moans like that all the time is because she goes to the bathroom and sticks a dildo in her and leaves it in all day."
Mrs. Saunders found it, and you can imagine how hurt she was. I think she even cried. I don't care how much you dislike a person, you do not say something as cruel as that. The woman is suffering from sickness and pain and she still comes to teach us. I was sickened when I heard that one of my classmates wrote that about someone. I think I was even afraid to tell and complain to my Mom or any of my friends outside school because I was so ashamed of it. It's despicable.
I remember for a period of time I truly hated Jen. I hated how someone could be so sick as to say something like that about a person who, to other people at least, has done nothing. Someone who's sick. I did truly hate her.
And I wonder if she thought about what other people's feelings when she wrote that. Did she realize how many people would disagree with what she did? Do you think she maybe truly believed people would agree with her? And after she came back from suspention I don't even know if she was sorry for what she did.
Do I just not understand things?
I wish she'd explain to me. I want to try to understand.
5 did |
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 20 August :: 12.30pm
:: Music: Droppin' Plates - Disturbed
I'm up before noon for once.
"kimi to futaride aruita ano goro no michi wa nakute
sore demo zutto aruita itsuka kimi to aeru no kana
nadaraka na oka no ue yuruyaka ni yuki ga furu todokanai to hodottemo
kimi no heya ni hitotsu daisuki datta hana o ima...
kyonen saigo no yuki no hi kataku kawashita yakusoku
omoidaseba toke dashi tenohira kara koborete
nadaraka na oka no ue yuruyaka ni yuki ga furu todokanai to hodottemo
kimi no heya ni hitotsu daisuki datta hana o ima...
madohen ni hitori kiride tada yuki o mitsumeteru kimi o omoidashi nagara
garasu koshi ni kimi o ukabe saigo no kuchizuke shite...
ne...waratte yo mou nakanaide
koko kara zutto anata o mite iru wa."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The road we walked back then is gone
but I still walk along it anyway.
The snow quietly falls on the gentle slope,
now I put your favorite flower in your room
even though I know it will never reach you.
when I remembered our unyielding promise
from last year's last day of snow, it began to melt,
and spill from my hands.
The snow quietly falls on the gentle slope,
now I put your favorite flower in your room
even though I know it will never reach you.
As I remember you watching the snow from the window all alone,
I recall you through the window and give you one last kiss...
please, smile, stop your crying now...
I'm always watching you from here."
-"Ain't Afraid to Die" by Dir en Grey
My iPod's busted T_T *shniff*. It won't turn on. OO WAH AH AH AH! And the day I got my library cards for the Martin Luther King Library in downtown San Jose, I also lost one of them. It's because I'm a super super genius. I'm just so incredibly smart I can't keep track of my library card. Einstein was so smart he couldn't memorize his own phone number. He also didn't wear socks, which meant his feet probably smelled really bad.
Get up, c'mon get down with the sickness!
I haven't eaten breakfast yet. Anyway, on the 18th we went to San Francisco to celebrate my Dad's birthday and go see the Lion King, which was his father's day present. The play was good good muchly. The opening scene was enough to have won an award, I say. The costumes were amazing indeed.
We stayed in the Grand Hyatt that night, yush. It was good, but not as good as the other Hyatt in SF. I don't even know if I spelled "Hyatt" correctly.
The 19th we went back homie womie and ate dinner with my grandma, uncle Larry, Aunt Ceal, and Cousin Adam at "By-Th-Bucket" (and yes, I did spell that correctly). Yum. Melikes that place. Teehee. "Cousin Adam". Kind of like what Quatre does in Gundam Wing: "Good-bye, friend Trowa!" Oh dear Quatre, you must get out more.
OooOoo! And it also got nice and foggy in the evening time before we were going out to see the play! Sho purdy.
You know, I think I'm going to change the journal layout again. Muaha!
I need to label my school books and sort out the whole losing-the-library-card issue.
*stomp stomp clap* *stomp stomp clap* *stomp stomp clap* *stomp stomp clap...*
Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise, playin' in the street
Gonna be a big man someday, you got mud on your face,
You big disgrace,
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!
Go fuck yourself
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