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I don't hold my breath, and I don't hold my tongue.

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xjayk

:: 2009 3 September :: 10.08pm

It's the real thing
Safety's off
Are you there
Are you there for me
By my side
An angel
Who dodge the bullets wide

It feels right
On a beach
When you talk
You talk without a sound
And when you walk
Your feet hardly touch the ground

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

When I think of you my head spins
I'm naseaus
I wanna get off the merigoround in my mind
I wanna stay with you and leave the world behind
But we're stuck
In the same paradigm
In the same spot


Giving into you is my weakness and the thing I hate
Your the light in my darkness and the salt water in my glass
We once said forever isnt long at all
Oh but my love it is
Its our moment of reconing
Will we suceed or give in?
Will you tire of me once you realize you want the child I cannot produce?
Will I ever exit this fantasy world which I've worked so hard to create?
Will you ever tire of seeing me sleeping next to you?
Or will our dreams drive us in two seperate directions?

I'm scared and confused
Nervous and excited

Am I really ready for this?
Please someone tell me!
Someone tell me what to do
For a time where I should be the happiest
I feel awfully alone

1 comment | [x]


spud

:: 2009 2 September :: 1.07pm

A joyful meandering that wound up being about driveway hockey.
i had just gotten up today, and gone to the bathroom for a solid B.M. the bathroom window was open, and outside it sit the garbage/yard waste/recycle bins. all of a sudden i hear someone walk up alongside our garage, and open up one of the bins. i had finished at this point, and was blowing my nose for good measure. so, the person getting into our recycling heard me and said, "oh, hey, just dropping off some cereal boxes and milk cartons." i recognized Valerie's (the neighbor) voice, and said, "yeah, have at it. the trash is kinda full, though." it was just a very odd way to start my day off.

in other news: happy september! the weather's gorgeous, and the air smells crisp and clean.

:: sorry, neighbor came over to smoke a ciggy ::

what was i saying? eh, whatever.

i should play disc golf again. i made it out there quite a bit the first half of summer, but i haven't played in several weeks. I guess it has been overtaken by driveway hockey, which is honestly a better workout, but you really pay for the next day.

it's actually a lot of fun. we have a net that bruce built, and they spray painted a crease to go in front of it. the garage door is about 2 feet behind the net, so there is some playable space back there, just like the real deal. The rest of the rink is surrounded by short wooden boards to hold the puck in. the rules have been adapted - obviously - to suit our needs, and there's a continual evolution there, but the gameplay itself remains pretty much the same. we have three offensive players (a center and two wingers), a defenseman, and a goalie. the three offense and the defender will rotate positions after every goal. goalies rotate every 30 minutes (the mishmash of homemade pads takes a while to put on). it's like a full-time 3-on-1 rush, but since we suck so bad, sometimes it's still tough to get a puck to drop. even still, if you pepper 'im long enough, something's bound to go through eventually.

here are the basic rules:
> no high sticking (we're out there in our tennis shoes for pete's sake. we don't want to cart anyone to the hospital)
> no cross-checking (same reason)
> no slapshots (or we'll have to listen to the goalies bitch. loudly.)
> the center has to pass before anyone can shoot
> if the puck goes over the boards and out of play, it counts as "clearing the defensive zone," and the offensive players must go back to their start positions (marked with chalk)
> if any of the offensive players are not in their start positions when the center starts the puck, the play is "offside" and must be reset.
> if a defenseman clears the puck over (or through) the fence and into the neighbor's yard, it's a two-minute minor penalty. since the power play has yet to fail, it's pretty much a death knell. although, bruce once killed off 1:56 of the penalty before they scored on him. that's the current record to beat.

they typically like having new people try it out. kevin and masa joined in this past sunday, and i think they had a good time. so hit me up if you're interested. there's no set day that we do it, so it's kinda random. we usually play from mid-afternoon 'til dark.

3 comments | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 31 August :: 5.36pm

I had a pretty eventful week..
It was a good ending to a very filled week.
Only worked 3 days last week and only one day was a full 8 hour day.
I got to spend time with some friends I haven't seen in a very long time.
Spent some quality time at home, watching movies.
Worked on some homework.

Maybe I will stop procrastinating so much, and not wait until the last minute to finish 6 weeks worth of work this time..
But probably won't..

I won't ever change..
Well at least I don't ever stop procrastinating..

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 31 August :: 12.56am

skewl tommorow , FML

1 comment | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 27 August :: 12.44pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "L.E.S. Artistes" By: Santogold

Omg...haha
Yes, The Tru Blood drink is coming out soon. In less than a month. I'm excited.

4 comments | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 27 August :: 12.21pm

Mark Twain Had a Grisly Sense of Humor
In 1863, San Francisco newspapers reported endlessly on the cooked books and financial trickery of mining outfits, and the San Francisco news outlet Territorial Enterprise advised investors to instead put their capital consisting of plague-ridden blankets and Buffalo nickels into San Francisco utility companies. Not out of financial responsibility, or anything; the utility companies were paying several papers bribes for reporting the tips. Still, most people didn't realize what was going on, they just read story after story to the tune of "Oh my God, investing in utilities is so good, you guys."
Read more..

[x]


skife

:: 2009 24 August :: 9.12pm

i hate "reality" tv.

these stupid love shows.

8 comments | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 24 August :: 5.00pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Sleepwalking" By: Analog Sway

Sleep walking through the party
Just like everybody
Your denim was your weapon
Shhh everybody listen.
Your boots a deadly venom...
Your lust was your addiction
You ask for no permission and
My body is the victim

Your eyes met mine across the room then
Boom

She knew she had me so she started dancing over slowly
She smiled at me as my jaw dropped to the floor.
I stood speechless and still
She went right for the kill
She took my hand and whispered,
I can show you so much more

Twist my lips in submission
From all your k k kissin
You got what Ive been missin
Shhhh boys just keep on wishin
Tonight youre on a mission
Keep me on one condition
That this becomes tradition
My body is the victim

Your eyes meet mine across the room then
Boom

Sleepless dreaming, sleepless feeling
When I saw her dance
I saw her dancing

[x]


jayzulla

:: 2009 24 August :: 12.42am

Little buzzed. Weak night. Check my baby mama, flip rovers not hondas! lol....

[x]


acidtears

:: 2009 23 August :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: content

:P
HUGO STIGLITZ!

2 comments | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 22 August :: 12.17am

Inglorious Basterds is absolutely glorious

2 comments | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 21 August :: 6.31pm

This is what happens when little kids try to bug me in online games

4 comments | [x]


skife

:: 2009 21 August :: 2.01pm

Photobucket

$1200 or best offer

15 comments | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 19 August :: 4.30pm

Apparently sucks at life like the rest of society.
Still don't know to deal with frustration and stress..
Should be able to just ignore it after all these years, but if it hasn't happened yet, then it probably won't ever happen.
I need a job that I like..
Maybe then I won't be so frustrated and in super-bitch mode when I come home..

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 19 August :: 12.52pm

Classes this fall:
Database systems
Unix using Linux
Cisco Wireless Network Administrator
Computer Security and Assurance


This semester is either going to be really fucking cool or really fucking hard.

[x]

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