duckie
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2009 24 February :: 11.22am
Today... could quite possibly be my "moment of truth."
10 years after the fact.
7 years after the first step to my beginning of the end.
One week after finally making the decision to end this once and for all.
I'm nervous. Anxious. Shaking. Nauseas.
I really want a hug, and I don't want to cry.
Wish me luck.
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rayray
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2009 23 February :: 7.43pm
Yesterday was probably one of the worst days I have had in a long time.
I managed to lock my keys in my car in the ghetto.
And apparently my body felt it neccessary to breakdown at that moment, because I balled my eyes out.
Crying in public, not my thing.
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duckie
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2009 22 February :: 8.37pm
He's hard to take a picture of because he moves around so much :[ Cute regardless though :]]
Floppers!
Oneee
Twoo
Threee
Fourrr
Fivee
Cute, isn't he? :]
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duckie
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2009 21 February :: 3.00pm
I bought a bunny today. His name is Floppers, and if he ever decides to sit still so I can take a decent picture, I will and then post.
I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday so I can try to figure out what kind of anxiety/depression issue I might have going on. It was the scariest and hardest thing I've had to do in awhile, but hopefully they can fix whatever my issue is. I can't even explain how irritating it is getting upset over small things that a normal person wouldn't get upset over under regular circumstances.
I messed up my back at work, and I've been to the doc twice in the last week, and I go again on Monday. I hate my job, and it stresses me out like it's no bodies business.
I really really hate... people.
Oh, and Kelly is coming over soon to see my bunny which is taking his place when he leaves for boot. I hope he approves :]
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skife
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2009 18 February :: 12.40pm
it happened again!
http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/Person_hit_and_killed_by_train
earlier this year the same shit happened in jersey.
dumbass kids need to learn trains are heavy and don't stop.
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skife
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2009 15 February :: 1.57pm
leaving for alabama thursday.
be gone for like 10 or so days.
peace.
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rayray
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2009 14 February :: 8.55pm
I got a ring!!
Not an engagement ring though..
But a thoughtful, pretty, and shiny one..
And once again, the tears begin. but happy ones this time..
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acidtears
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2009 14 February :: 3.32pm
:: Mood: eh
:: Music: "Moonlight Sonata" by: Beethoven
V-Day.
It's here. I'm glad it only lasts a day. It's the holiday single women hate. And I do not exclude myself from that category of women. Those who are lonely, bitter, cynical...but the ones that as soon as they get a card or some candy/flowers, they perk right up and say they've always loved this holiday. Contradicting what they said about hating it 5 minutes ago. Yes, that's me. HaHa. I mean, I've never really been fond of Valentine's Day, but, when you're in a relationship, it's easier to get through. But when you're single, you want to drop kick every happy couple you see. No pity please, I'm just venting. I will be fine tomorrow when every piece of chocolate is set at half-price. And it's Brie's birthday tomorrow, so I'll be happy when I see her open the re-gifted presents I am giving her. HaHa. I'm giving her some ear rings I never wear, cosmetic sponges, drawing pencils, candy, 2 nail polishes, and Sweet Pea body lotion. I didn't have any money to buy her anything, and I don't have the two available hands to make her something. I just hope she likes what I can give her.
But, going to go. Bye.
-Samm
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jayzulla
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2009 14 February :: 3.03pm
Im a pill poppin animal
Last night was pretty fun. didnt do that well in madden though. only went 1 - 2 -.- . However i went 39 and 6 in COD4, whatchu know bought the golden uzi? Im so high you couldnt reach me with a fucking antenna
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acidtears
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2009 13 February :: 11.46am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: "Moonlight Sonata" by: Beethoven
Nothing but Classical music, books, and further arm slings.
So, yesterday, Mom and I went to the Bone Doctor that did my surgery. I got the stitches taken out--the front one hurt the worst because some skin had grown over the stitch--and then we did some x-rays. I swear I wanted to punch the x-ray technician for twisting and bending and pulling my arm the way he did. It hurt like hell. No joke. But, we looked over the x-rays in the room and the Doctor told me that I have to keep my arm in the sling for another(get this) 6 weeks! 6 more weeks of not typing as fast as I used to, 6 weeks of not being able to do my hair or make up, 6 more weeks of embarrassing showers because my mom has to help me, and 6 more weeks of having to control my OCD urge to scrub everything in this house. Mom wasn't the least bit happy either. I can't say I blame her because I am...scratch that...was the one who would help out with Ava and get her eady for school and what not. Oh well. Lately I have been trying to relax by reading my books, listening to classical music, and smoking cigarettes. Ha. But, I am not going to continue staying home for the next six weeks or so. I am bound to go mad at any moment. Luckily Jenny has offered to take me on a "date" sometime next week. Where we are going and what we are doing is a mystery to us both. We have no clue what to do.
I find it amusing to go to the grocery store now. People pass me and see my left arm in the sleeve of my coat, but they look and wonder where my right arm is. I have also had plenty of people stare at my arm in the sling as if they are trying to guess what happened to my shoulder. Slipped on ice and broke it? Abusive household(never, fyi)? What could have happened? I hate the real story. "I went to take a swing at my brother and my middle-aged shoulder gave out". HaHa. Some people in Lowell said to my Grandma "Wow, she must have really upset you, huh?". Joking of course.
I also seriously need something to knock me out at night. Because I have been sleeping downstairs on the floor(my Grandpa claims the couch) and even if I go to bed before him, I still wake up around 3-4 in the morning. Either his LOUD snoring wakes me up, the TV that was never shut off or turned down wakes me up, or both. So, this morning I was awake at 3:30. And even going upstairs didn't help much because Brie was in my bed, a couple hours later the kids had to get ready for school, and I kept getting woken up. Shit for sleep. So, I seriously need something that will knock me on my ass and make it to where I do not wake up until at least 9. HaHa.
Anyway, I have nothing else really new going on. Bye.
-Samm
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acidtears
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2009 12 February :: 2.23pm
:: Mood: Lazy, tired, and content.
:: Music: "I will be" by: Avril Lavigne
I will be.
There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go
I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go
I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need
And I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
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jayzulla
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2009 12 February :: 2.19pm
The "It" Team
MSU - 54
UoM - 42
Ah, the great feeling of success.
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skife
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2009 11 February :: 10.40am
events of last night
1. went to rosie's, drank a little beer and a bottle of beer.
2. andy [marini]convinced me to go to the crazy horse with him to play some pool, that was preceded by another killian's and a coors light, then we went and chilled and watched people line dance, then we had another beer and a shot of jack
3. andy starts line dancing
4. jordan show's up to pick me up from the bar because i'm not trusting andy to drive me home, espically after he had the shot of absinth
5. jordan takes me to her mom's house, where i almost win at 3 games of cribbage
6. go back to jordans, cuddle up with her and fall asleep.
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phil-himself
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2009 10 February :: 7.31pm
can I play with madness
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