:: 2004 20 July :: 9.46 am
:: Mood: blah

i don't really have a purpose in todays entry... i am waiting to hear from starbucks still... if i get the job, then i can quit both my other jobs and then when the new store opens in november i can go over there and be a shift supervisor... that would be good...

well, i am feeling kind of blah right now, and i have to go and get ready for work now, (i hate tues and thurs because i have to work from 11am-10pm) so i will write more next time when i have an actual purpose.

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 15 July :: 9.06 am

want to pet me new pink pussy???

adopt your own virtual pet!

but be careful, if you left click on her, she will try to claw you!!!

tell me lies...

:: 2004 14 July :: 8.21 am

i got a new pet... isn't she vicious looking!?!?!?

adopt your own virtual pet!

tell me lies...

:: 2004 11 July :: 11.17 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

mikey is being a dick!!
i hate it when mike acts like a cocksucker, he fucking really pisses me off sometimes! like right now... i don't even fucking feel like talking about it, that is how fucking angry i am!!! he is just being a stubborn shithead! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!
ok, let's see if i can go to sleep now. i was in a good mood earlier, i made a lot of $ at work tonight, and i come home, and he is being a jerk! i have been up since 8am... i mowed the rest of the lawn, came in at 10am, took a shower, left at 11am to go to his parents for his grandmothers b-day, left there at 230pm, just so i could go to work at 330pm until 930pm... so my point is that it has been a LOOOOONG fuckin' day today and being mad is not making me tired! GRRRRR!

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 29 June :: 9.42 am

T	Tempting
E	Edgy
R	Refined
E	Exciting
S	Slippery
A	Ambitious

tell me lies...

:: 2004 28 June :: 9.13 am

Look out for the

m HOLE

tell me lies...

:: 2004 21 June :: 7.56 pm
:: Mood: in disbelief

I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM A MARRIED WOMAN!!!!!

this is just too fucking weird to me, is it real?!?!?!?!?

tell me lies...

:: 2004 19 May :: 6.35 am
:: Mood: aggravated

yesterday when i came home from work at about 9pm, mike was on line, (big FUCKING surprise!!!, he can be inside relaxing, but if i am not at work, i HAVE to be outside working!) but i walked through the door, and he was playing spider solitaire. ok, no big deal right? well, he was apparently still on line when he was playing and an IM popped up from tinasomething#, i didn't get a close enough look because he deleted it fast and signed off right away, BUT it was up there long enough for me to see that it had not just been a one liner, he had probably been writing back and forth for a while. his last line was "i gotta go" so i asked him, SEMI- jokingly (because he KNOWS that it fucking DRIVES ME NUTS when he IMs people and goes into chat rooms) who was tina? well, he IMMEDIATELY got all defensive and i told him i was joking with him, and then about 5 minutes later i said "so who was tina?" he said some chick that he was talking with that he had met online from clarence, and 'jokingly' i said "oh yeah, did you happen to mention that you were getting married in less then a month?" but i left the room in disgust (sp?) before i let him answer. and then he came out of the room and started watching tv like nothing had happened, and says, "i was soooooo bored waiting for you to come home" (like i fucking give a damn)... LOOK, i don't know if he is doing anything wrong but when he is TOTALLY acting guilty, and defensive about it, i mean come on, what am i supposed to think?!?!? i wish i could cancel my aol, and online for him, but i can still go online. now, i am 24 years old and SO over the whole chat room IM crap, and i know that if i try to "give him a taste of his own medicine" that HE won't fucking give a damn... either that or he won't notice... i would TRY to get caught, and wouldn't. he is going to be 27 in less then a month. GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

i am entitling this "things i wish mike would do"

1) get a clue, i hate it when he goes in chat rooms and IMs people. he knows that i hate it, so fucking STOP doing it!!!

2) every once in a while, he can tell me that i look good, or that i am pretty/ hot/ sexy/ beautiful, whatever, but just to compliment me on my looks once in a while. in over 2 years, he never has, not once. and when i bring it up to him he says "i shouldn't have to tell you" um YEAH you should, i have like ZERO self esteem and hearing it once in a while never hurts anyone!

3) he needs to stop being such a fucking slave driver! if i am working 7 days a week, just because i don't go into work until 4pm, doesn't mean that he needs to give me a job list of "things for teresa to do". i am not twelve years old. he is not my dad. if i want to just fucking RELAX everyonce in a while, i am going to... not everyday, but seriously, since i have been working these jobs, and if i go into work ANYTIME after 11am, he says "this is what you need to do today... blah blah blah blah, and make sure that such and such gets done and don't forget to do this, and blah blah blah." like hello, i will fucking do it, IF i have time, and if i get to it that day, and if i don't, no biggie, i will do it the next day!

4) he could at the very least show a little enthusiasm for the wedding. he is always "jokingly" saying, "i know, don't remind me". well, the first few times, ha ha ha, but after that, it sucks to here it. i mean, if he thinks that it is still funny... i don't know.... my head hurts.

i am not asking him to give me the world, i am not asking him to castrate himself, all that i ask for is a little something in return from him.... (ex. if he is in the shower and he whistles he expects me to jump up and go to him, and if i don't, he gets all pissy and whistles for me until i come... I AM NOT YOUR PET ROVER!!!! i don't 'sit, heel or bark' on command. i said to him, "if you are in the other room and i have something to tell you, are you going to get off your ass everytime that i BECKON for you"... i received no comment. but if HE has something to tell me and i am in the other room, he will call me... i will answer "what" and he says "come here" and so i say "i can here you fine from here, what" and he says "come here"... and i repeat myself again, MY NAME IS NOT SPOT! so don't treat me like i am a dog!!!)

....i do believe that i am done ranting now, i think.... *sigh*, don't get me wrong, i love him but he is a PAIN IN MY ASS!

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 18 May :: 8.45 am
:: Mood: sleepy

well, we argued into the night and it spilled over to the next morning, and i have come to the conclusion that i am the mature adult between the two of us... it just seemed like he was pouting and acting like a little kid who didn't get his own way. well, we didn't REALLY solve the problem, but he said "as long as i am making enough money blah blah blah blah" sorry, the rest was kind of fuzzy, remember charlie browns teacher? yeah, well it kind of went into that... "whaaa wha wa whhhaaa."

well, i have comlpleted all five days of the training at applebees, and they like me because i am not an idiot, and i know what the hell i am doing. i work at leggios today and thursday and at applebees on wed, sat, and sun... i would have wanted to work on friday nite at applebees but when i requested it, she had already made up the schedule. (it is mikes bachelor party on friday night and i just want to keep busy so i don't think about it... but now, i am doing something with keri, and that is bad because now all she is going to do is worry about dan and that is what will make me think about what mike is doing... *sigh* i dunno... )

well, i have to get ready for work now. i am picking up my graduation cap and gown today from ecc before leggios seeing it is right on the way. and plus mike has given me things to do before i go to work... THAT is something that i hate, he feels that every free minute i have should be spent working at something in/ out/ around the house... like on wednesday, before i go into work at 430 for 6 hours, i have to mow the entire lawn because, " well the last TWO times i did it all by myself so you have to now for a change" blah blah blah, it is crap. it isn't like i am working 6-7 days a week or anything STANDING ON MY FEET NO LESS THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!! but.... *sigh* that is just the way it is, he tells me to do stuff, and i bitch about it.

tell me lies...

:: 2004 15 May :: 11.44 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

how fucking pissed am i? EXTREMELY!!!! mike and i are fighting over my god damn job and he is saying that it is not a real job and that it is not real work and i am sooooo fucking pissed of right now! AARRGGHH! i can not even begin to explain how fucking mad i am now! what the fuck does he mean, "get a real job" ?!?!? huh!? when i am bringing home close to $100 or more a night, will he be complaining then?! no! of course he won't but, oh, i forgot, it isn't a real job!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! i am gonna fucking blow a god damn gasket! i can not even write i am so pissed, my hands are all fucking shaking because i just want to fucking punch something so bad! AARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!
what a fucking dick! just because i am not getting a SET $ amount an hour does NOT mean that it is not a real job, i fucking BUST MY ASS and my back hurts and my feet hurt, and if i get a shitty tip, i DO get pissed but i still fucking do it, it is still a fucking job! IT STILL FUCKING PUTS MONEY IN MY POCKET, AND YA KNOW WHAT?, IT IS PUTTING MONEY INTO HIS FUCKING POCKET TOO SO HE SHOULD SHUT HIS GOD DAMN HOLE, AND NOT FUCKING TALK SHIT BECAUSE HE HAS ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO FUCKING WAITRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell me lies...

:: 2004 7 May :: 9.20 am

i am having some nervousness about the wedding... today we are going to talk to my lawyer friend about a pre-nup... not exactly what i wanted to do but to please mikey... so i start at applebees on monday, woohoo, <-- sarcastically said. i don't know, it is a job and it will pay the bills and hey, ya never know, i may love it completely and end up staying there for years... but, red really isn't my color... anyways, yesterday at jody's, i had to peel 25 HEADS of garlic, (not 25 cloves which would have been bad enough but the whole freeking head... 25 of 'em!) oh well, all i smell is garlic, my hands, hair, skin, clothes... i think my pillow is probably going to smell like it now... ewww yuck! i scrubbed and washed and used lemons, and that orange clean stuff and i can still smell it! i guess that is just a minor con to working in an italian restaurant. (well that and serving mobsters...)
ok, i am going to go outside now and get more yard work done... =P yeah, it is going to suck, i know!

tell me lies...

:: 2004 28 April :: 12.26 pm
:: Mood: i am loser

well, the last thing i wrote, i was pissed about my job, well... the very next day, i was canned... so i now work for applebees and i am helping out a friend at her new restaurant, leggios.
i am a loser, i hate julie... i hate her for not giving me a chance, i hate her for firing me for no good reason, i hate her and her primadonna attitude, i hate her bad drawn in eyebrows... i just plain hate her... (wow, i sound like i am a fucking 8 year old... "i hate this, i hate that" oh well)
so, in a little more then a month, i am getting married, i am scared... should i be? well, i am... not really of anything specific, but i am scared... i don't want it to not work out and then have to deal with all of the bull shit, but i know that anticipating that it isn't gonna work out means pretty much that it isn't gonna work out... oh well, i am scared, plain and simple...
so, back to me being a loser, i was driving past jessicas old house this morning and i remembered out of NO WHERE her old phone #, i was just driving and like, all of the sudden it popped into my head... fucking weird huh? ok, i am a loser...
ok, i have to go and cut the grass now, woohoo, *sarcastically said*

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 20 April :: 6.36 am
:: Mood: contemplative

=P
i don't know... i am not too happy with my job... she has been sending me home early because she doesn't have the time to show me what to do and so therefore i am not learning too much, and i am not getting enough hours, and i can't afford to not get the hours... i need another job, either another part time job to do in the evenings or, another full time to replace this one now. i am so confused. well, i am going to look in the JOB FINDER this afternoon when i get home from work, (providing i get sent home at the RIGHT time today)
*sigh* i have too many bills right now that i can't stay at a job that is going to give me only 25 hours a week.
ok, now i am getting pissed so i am going to stop writing right now because i am going to try to at least go into work with a somewhat open mind...
somewhat...

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 8 April :: 6.29 am
:: Mood: blah

1. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 18, find line 4.
-"she got up, i suppose to get the glove, but nikolaos beat her to it"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
-air

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
-the news this morning, ch. 2

4. Without looking at the clock, guess what time it is.
-6:32

5. Now look at the clock - what is the actual time?
-holy shit! it is actually 6:32!!!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
-nothing, it is too early in the morning for anyone else to be up.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
-last night. coming home from picking up take out dinner.

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
-LKH blog, (laurell k. hamilton)

9. What are you wearing?
-a big comfy white robe that jess gave me, and my eeyore pajamaswith footies in 'em.

10. Did you dream last night?
-i don't remember...

11. When did you last laugh?
-i think i did this morning...

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
-pink print wallpaper, simpsons calender, scooby doo pic, salvadore dali print, frog pictures, and a little wooden piece of wood that hes mine and mikeys name on it in chinese.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
-no, i lead a boring life.

14. Last movie you saw?
-scooby doo 2.

15. If you became a multi-millionnaire overnight, what would you buy first?
-take a lot longer vacation to vegas ;)

16. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
-underneath my clothes,... i am naked.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
-stop the damn war overseas, and keep any more people, (us and them) from getting killed.

18. Do you like to dance?
-ummm, not really, i look like a chicken having a seizure when i dance.

19. George Bush: power-crazy nutcase, or someone finally doing what has needed doing for years?
-i would like to use my constitutional rights and plead the 5th.

20/21. Imagine your first child was a girl/boy; what would you call her?
-child?!?!? what are you talking about, i am going to get myself fixed before i can have any children.

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 14 March :: 8.58 pm

as a conclusion to my previous entry, coffee bay is now gone... i had gotten a phone call from carmen on saturday evening around 6pm saying that at 11pm tonight he will be closing the store for good. i guess the reason why i am so mad (not surprised but mad) is because i know carmen knew, and he waited until the absolute fucking minute to tell anyone..... and you know what? if anything, he owed it to ME of all people! i mean, jesus christ, i had even asked him about 3 months ago to at least have the decency to let me know ahead of time so i wouldn't be fucked, and out of a job, and his answer to that was "sure, oh no, you will absolutely know ahead of time" and ya know what? BULL SHIT! and i can't even believe it, and me, i am extremely fucking lucky to have gotten the other job offer from julie because i would be just as screwed as the other employees.
but i talked to julie today and i start work on wednesday at 830am. i have to go in and meet with her manager donna tomorrow. i have to go and buy all new clothes because i really don't have any "dress up" clothes. i know that sounds so dumb but i have never had a job where i couldn't wear jeans, or didn't have a uniform, i will be weird for a little while i guess, but i am going to have to get used to wearing something other then jeans, a tshirt and i visor!
well, it is now less then 3 months to the wedding, i am getting soooooo excited now, (yes nervous too, but excited!)
alright, it is almost past my bedtime, (even though it will be weird not having to actually get up to go to work so early, even though i have to for mikey anyways. but yeah, weird none the less.
teresa

tell me lies...