Speak Now.

Speak Now.

:: 2004 20 August :: 8.56pm

I made a list to prove to someone that I was a bad person.

I didn't realize how much I haven't been thinking until now.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 20 August :: 8.21pm

And it didn't mean anything to you.
As if I wasn't messed up enough.

I blame myself.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 19 August :: 1.18pm

There's one thing I can do nothing about.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 13 August :: 12.17am
:: Music: Rilo Kiley

Ignore it.. ignore me.
Love through fingertips.

It's a feeling.

Sleep well..

fallenfaces

:: 2004 9 August :: 2.43pm
:: Music: Azure Ray

Back home.
Once again, the feeling of independence..

I drove to the store with my grandma. I'd like to say she's not much of a back seat driver, but she is. She doesn't do it in an annoying way, more of a helpful way of letting me learn everything. She refers to me as a "lead foot." I'd have to disagree however. Anyway.. back to the point. I drove to the store, shut the car off, got what I needed, paid for it, got back in the car, started it up, and drove home. My grandma was with me, but it still felt nice.

I'm getting little tastes of what I want most. A few more years is all I have.. *slightly smiles*

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 8 August :: 7.44pm
:: Music: The Cure - Pictures of You

Rip my heart out yourself.
I feel so.. independent here.

It's like my own apartment. The Cure is soflty playing in the background, I made my own dinner, it's the loud city noise that keeps me so alive. I'm being as patient as I can with this piece of shit computer.

I drove here, speeding. Getting lectured, and laughing each time.

And it all seems fine.

It's like a taste of how it feels to be alone. This apartment is so full, yet seems so empty. I think the distance gets to me though. I like being in Cedar, just because most of my friends are 5 minutes away. Here they are all at least a half hour away. I guess it's kind of comforting in a way.

I can already tell tonight is a night of inspiration.

[Downloading msn messenger as we speak, this computer may not even support it].

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 3 August :: 7.28am

I want to cry. My entire journal is gone. I shouldn't care so much, but I spent hours spilling every inch of what I have into each word. All my honesty, hate, love, everything. Writing is what makes me remember, makes me feel. And it's all gone. I won't get it back, and I won't ever find the words. Ah well, complaining won't make the words return.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 2 August :: 7.46am

I hugged him, then sat in the car.

Lisa and I sat there for a few minutes, while she was doing something.

He opened the door and said, "Kiss me" so I did.

It was funny, because I rested my hand on the side of his face, (like a prepared kiss) even though I didn't know he was even going to do it. I guess it's instinct.

It was nice.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 28 July :: 4.05pm

I'm letting everything go. I think I need to take a break from writing. It only makes me think.

I want to go back to that happy go lucky person. Last night was exactly where I want to be. Too hyper to even care. About anything. Everyone could hate me and I don't think it could have brought me down.

So I'm going to do whatever I can to be that person again. Because who I am now isn't working for me, at all.

4 Thoughts | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 27 July :: 11.18pm
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday - Number Five With a Bullet

*sighs*
I just.. don't know anymore.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 27 July :: 4.19pm

I guess I don't understand.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 27 July :: 7.35am
:: Music: Radiohead - Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box

Girls really do change people.

1 Thought | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 25 July :: 8.59pm

Part of a song..
And they loved with devotion beyond what I understand.
But fear has a way of making sleep unbearable.
And the days seem cold and long.
But we'll cry and we dance.
And we stumble into love.
In awkward, perfect grace.
The moon is gone and the sun has took its place.
The moon is gone and the sun has took its place.

Bright Eyes - A Celebration Upon Completion

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 25 July :: 4.35pm

A line from a book...
The world is evil. Wolves hunt the stragglers in a group of deer. Vultures devour the fallen. Hyenas destroy the weak. Humans kill that which they fear. Survive and be strong, or die, cornered by your prey, trembling because the night is dark.
- In the Forests of the Night, By: Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 20 July :: 7.36am

This is how it's always been
But if nothing has changed..
Then it must mean..
But the sun is cold - the sky is wrong
The stars are black - the night is gone
The world is still - the space is stopped
The time is out - the day is dropped
The house is dark - the room is scarred
The boy is stiff - the bed is hard
The blood is thick - the head is burst
The taste is dry - the kiss is thirst
And it's not the same you
It's not the same you
No it never was like this
It's not the same you
-The Cure / Labyrinth

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 19 July :: 8.04pm
:: Music: The Smiths

Almost everything turns into a joke.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 18 July :: 11.23am
:: Music: The Cure

Remember more than you like to forget.
I looked at the speedometer. I don't think he even realized how fast we was going. 90 or so at night, with his eyes straining. And the lights just lighting enough of the road. He looked at the speedometer and turned off the dash lights, so he couldn't see the speed.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 18 July :: 11.21am
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday - This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know)

First mistake:
Her not leaving the first time she got hit.

Makes me entirely sad.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 16 July :: 7.26am

The alarm clock's going off, but you're not waking up.

This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.

It is.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 15 July :: 11.04pm

Stop it.

3 Thoughts | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 15 July :: 5.01pm

I'm.
Falling...

down.

1 Thought | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 15 July :: 12.55pm

Stars.
"It's like when you stare straight at them, they get brighter. Kinda like people." -her
"Write about it." -me
"I will, as soon as I figure it out." -her

fallenfaces

:: 2004 15 July :: 12.52pm

You've got a good head on your shoulders, kid.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 13 July :: 2.17pm
:: Music: Bright Eyes - Exaltation on a Cool, Kitchen Floor

Don't look for yourself. You won't find anything.

It's ok to be lost. Sometimes it's better than being found.

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 10 July :: 6.17pm

How can you all like such a terrible person?

Fools.

Do not ask me who. If I wanted you to know I'd tell you.

fallenfaces

:: 2004 10 July :: 1.02pm
:: Music: Radio Vago - Shudder

So I cut you.
"I'm weak."
"Stacy, you're not weak. Mentally, you are one of the strongest people in our grade. Seriously. And you have an amazing outlook on life."

I'm glad someone noticed.

Today was the worst day of work so far. The boss was in my row a lot, and he yelled at me once. I found out I get so paranoid to the point of almost crying when people watch me. Kinda like in school when a teacher watches me take a test, and I forget everything.

At least I don't work tomorrow. Hopefully I can see some people tonight. In other words, Joe. Hehe.

2 Thoughts | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 9 July :: 7.38pm

The Get Up Kids - I'll catch you
Can you sleep as the sound hits your ears?
One at a time. An unspoken balance here.
Unabridged for so many years.
That I should stare at recievers.
To recieve her.
Isn't fair.

Don't worry, I'll catch you.
Don't worry, I'll catch you.
Don't ever worry.
Read more..

Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 9 July :: 6.03pm
:: Music: The Get Up Kids - I'll Catch You

Today was one of those days that wasn't worth getting up for.

Ah well.

2 Thoughts | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 8 July :: 4.41pm

Perfect example of "we'll keep in touch."

Failed.

2 Thoughts | Thoughts?

fallenfaces

:: 2004 5 July :: 7.21am

He says he can see the pain and anguish in my eyes. I believe him, because I know that look.