silentcriez
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2005 4 March :: 6.16am
I want you to notice when im not around..
ok so.. its really early and im up and awake lol because i went to sleep at 9! ahh! lol yeah i was extremely burnt out :-[ hummmm well whats new...
i miss being around him.. but i guess i should take a step back.. if he doesnt even seem to care.. why should i? i mean why am i wasting my time? its so easy to say all this.. and so hard to do when your stuck on something.. bad habbits are hard to break and its like a nagging bad habbit an addiction.. and all it will bring is pain..
the heat it is driving me crazy
and your moving even deeper, within
to feel so good, from lust so wrong
is probably a sin
but i wont slow, oh you no
i gotta have you in me now
i dont care when or where
all i need to know is how
id be your slave if only youd let me show
you all the crazy things im thinking of
your days would never slow
::I::Saw::Red::
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Cocopuff
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2005 3 March :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: Ben Harper- "Walk Away"
Yea well i was jsut lookign at my journal... i jsut redid it yesterday and there is still somehtin wrong wiht it.. and u know what that is???... there is still to much shit from a long time ago on here... the background is new then this page needs to b mainly new.. so im going to try and write the longest journal entry of my life to get rid of as much of that shit that i can...
this is going to b hard seeing that im a boring person and i have nothign to write about but im gonna try neway...
hm... oh im failing all my classes.. haha as if u cant tell not like i can spell (sry for all the spelling mistakes)... but school sux becasue i do all my class work and i knwo the shit... i just dont do my homework.. becasue i have no time lol unless i want to come home after school on the few times a week i dont have to work... i think i need to quit my job becasue it really fucks up things.. but i need the money soo w/e
MANDAS GOING TO LAS VEGAS SOON!!!! Hell yeah Manda!! i know ull do great!! u have and amazing voice... and dont worrie about the ppl because all u have to do is sing and tell love u!! lol i love u Manda!!/
... and these are 2 my favorite sublime songs ever :-D...
"Garden Grove"
We took this trip to Garden Grove
It smelled like Lou-dog inside the van, oh yeah
This ain't no funky reggae party, $5 at the door
It gets so real sometimes, who wrote my rhyme
I got the microwave, got the VCR
I got the deuce-deuce in the trunk of my car, oh yeah
If you only knew all the love that I found
It's hard to keep my soul on the ground
You're a fool, don't fuck around with my dog
All that I can see I steal, I fill up my garage
Cause in my mind
Music from Jamaica, all the love that I found
Pull over there's a reason why my soul's unsound
It's you
It's that shit stuck under my shoe
It's that smell inside the van
It's my bed sheet covered with sand
Sitting through a shitty band
Getting dog shit on my hands
Getting hassled by the man
Waking up to an alarm
Sticking needles in your arm
Picking up trash on a freeway
Feeling depressed everyday
Leaving without making a sound
Picking my dog up at the pound
Living in a tweaker pad
Getting yelled at by my dad
Saying I'm happy when I'm not
Finding roaches in the pot
All these things I do
They're waiting for you.
and the other...
"D.J.s"
All of the d.j.s surely have taken a lesson
Start talkin trash and we'll come with my smith & wesson
A little competition comes my way but it always winds up the same,
"the stone that the builder refuse shall be the head cornerstone"
Ain't nothin wrong, ain't nothing right
But still I set and lie awake all night
All of the d.j.s surely have taken a lesson
Try talkin trash and we'll come with a smith & wesson
Enough d.j.s come with enough style
but when I bus my lyrics we all Know it's wicked-wily.
Ain't nothin wrong, ain't nothing right
But still I set and lie awake all night
You better strap with the gat
If you wanna walk with me, bound to come down
With the new stylee, rockin rubadub know as reggae music
Gotta come down with some new lyrics
It just ain't nothing, it's been a real long time
Ain't nothin wrong, ain't nothing right
But still I set and lie awake all night
Rubadub blender a new mixer
I am the one with d.j. with enough flavor
Hear the dub and say lord have his grilled cheese.
I ain't Jamaican, but I ain't no freak
Caught the man eno with the one pound bag o' tweak
And called him ghost rider everytime you see him he fulfill the danger
Ain't nothin wrong, ain't nothing right
But still I set and lie awake all night
Dred gotta a job to do and he might fulfill his mission
To see his pain would be his greatest ambition
We will survive in this world of competition
To make sure that till the ..is done
I won't wait so long
For you
Stop your messin around,
Better think of your future
Time to straighten right out or you'll wind up in jail
Yes Sublime is my favorite band ever and that is becasue they are the best band ever jsut to let all u ppl know... and if u dont agree with me kiss my ass :-)
random shit...
http://virtual.bonghit.net/
dont ask...
Dude Amanda got me hocked on Ben Harper and Jack Johnson... lol all i listen to is there songs all the time... the song i was listin to this when i stared to write this Walk Away by Ben Harper is my favorite... its an amazing song...and here i go with lyrics again...i need this to b long right...
Oh no
Here comes that sun again
That means another day
Without you my friend
And it hurts me
To look into the mirror at myself
And it hurts even more
To have to be with somebody else
And it's so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away
With so many people
To love in my life
Why do I worry
About one
But you put the happy
In my ness
You put the good times
Into my fun
And it's so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away
And head for the door
We've tried the goodbye
So many days
We walk in the same direction
So that we could never stray
They say if you love somebody
Than you have got to set them free
But I would rather be locked to you
Than live in this pain and misery
They say time will
Make all this go away
But it's time that has taken my tomorrows
And turned them into yesterdays
And once again that rising sun
Is droppin' on down
And once again you my friend
Are nowhere to be found
And it's so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away
And head for the door
You just walk away
Walk away
lol and i have notrhign more to write about.. and im sure u ppl are bored with my randomness and are jsut bored becasue im boring but its ok.. i think im goign to stop this now.. i neeed foood:-)
::I::Saw::Red::
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Cocopuff
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2005 2 March :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Jack Johnson-
NEW
YAY!! i finaly redid my journal! i loved the one i had before but i love this one more.. lol i made this one.. as if it was hard.. its nothin complex like the ones manda makes but w.e i like it!.. but manda usually makes all my backgrounds cuz shes good at it... but today i jsut flet like haveing a new background and i could fined ne that i thought fit me so i made my own:-D.... how do u like it!!???
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 2 March :: 9.50pm
im so confused...
haha so my dad walked in on me smoking a cig and talking about drugs.. perrrrrfeccctt...
roar..
write more later
3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2005 1 March :: 6.23pm
:: Music: GREAT
SNOW DAY!
YIPPIEEE NO SCHOOL TODAY!!!!! Thanks to the snow! i love the snow.. but we are going to pay for it in the end :(
Ya so any hoo i went over to my love TRACI ANNE COLE's house today! i missed it.. i missed her family.. and i missed her! im so glad thay we are getting closer and closer again, like we used to be.. i have been miserable without her.. the friends that i thought i had just talk shit and dont know how to stick up for their friends and shit.. it really pisses me off.. i dont need people like that.. and like traci is the only person i can trust! ya so anyways i took ALOT of pictures today! but even though it was a snow day we didnt play in the snow :(
pictures ---->Read more..
ya thats all for now
comment
-Nik
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2005 1 March :: 10.55am
haha stole this from lizzy! haha funny stuff
Your Boobies' Names Are: Betty and Veronica
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ya todays a snow day! im going back to bed!
-Nik
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 1 March :: 7.57am
i want you to throw your clothes
on the floor
lay me baby down by fire
i want you to, kiss my lips
with sweet red wine
your here with me baby now we got all night
(chorus)
your here with me baby
i kiss your lips baby
your telling me maybe
but that good enough
i need you now baby
your still my baby
your telling me maybe
but that wont do, tonight
walk up to me and slow down
i want you to go down
on me, you see, its ecstasy
hold me baby and tell me your true
i need your loving
and all thats inside of you
undress me baby no need to impress
im captive baby your heaven sent
(chorus)
the heat it is driving me crazy
and your moving even deeper, within
to feel so good, from lust so wrong
is probably a sin
but i wont slow, oh you no
i gotta have you in me now
i dont care when or where
all i need to know is how
id be your slave if only youd let me show
you all the crazy things im thinking of
your days would never slow
(chorus)
lick my
body
hold me
tonight
im here
on my own..
you take my body home
(chorus)
---
your kissable smile
your loveble lips
the feeling of my hips pressed on your fingertips
theres a look in your eye
i cant figure why
im doing these crazy things
your making me throw
out all the old
and bring in all new..
(chorus)
dont tell me baby that you love me
dont tell me that you need a change
i wont be fooled by that helpless look in your eyes
when you kiss me you trap me in between all the lies
you take away my worries
and make it feel like theres none
whether talking in the evening
or at the rising of the sun
you speak with words so gold and true
im tripping fast, and falling for you
(chorus)
im looking at you
you look at me
you see me baby and i need to be
in your arms, just kiss me again
touch my cheek and i wonder when
well be together later on
when the lights are finally gone
under the veil of darkness we can break away
todayyyy
(chorus)
im staring blankly
you take my hand
ask me baby do i really understand
i look in your eyes and i tell you i do
and kiss your cheek oh baby im stuck on you
(chorus)
gr im so angry..
i dont even know why i mean its a snowday i should be happy! but im in the worst mood because i just got to thinking about how shitty my life is and how shitty i am.. and how i hate myself and how nobody will ever like me - im so sick of being me. i mean sure theres things i like about me but every one is something in my brain not my physical appearance and i know im not saying i would like to give up my writing/singing/drawing ability i just wish that someday i would be beautiful and somebody would want me, as completely as i want them..
i decided im going on a diet and sticking to it.. because i need to look good for las vegas and im sick of looking like this.. and i have the power to change it so why sit and mope and be mad at myself when i am the one in charge of what i look like.. i mean thats all im not happy with -- its my god damn weight and thats changeable -- like i think that im an ok looking girl and id be completely satisfies with myself if i just lost some weight - even 10 pounds i just want to lose something.. i just want to feel good about myself..
more later -
HAPPY ONE YEAR SMOKING KATIEEEE
5 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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Cocopuff
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2005 28 February :: 10.25pm
Your Boobies' Names Are: Cheech and Chong
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HAHAHA
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 28 February :: 5.13pm
All of the seasons
And all of the days
All of the reasons
Why I've felt this way
So long, so long
Then lost in that feeling
I looked in your eyes
I noticed emotion
And that you had cried
For me
I can see
What would touch me deeper
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes
That know why?
A lifetime of questions
Tears on your cheek
I tasted the answers
And my body was weak
For you
The truth
What would touch me deeper
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes
That know why?
I'm so lonely without my baby's love
I want you to know I'd die for one more moment
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2005 27 February :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: contemplative
went to the movies
ya so i went to the movies with traci and michelle but we didnt have any money so we talked and begged people for money the entire time! we made about 6 dollars so it was awesome.. we made fools out of ourselves in the process thought lol
Read more..
<.cut> <./cut> <--- code thingy so i dont forget
::I::Saw::Red::
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krazykelc1
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2005 27 February :: 7.16pm
:: Music: Beanie Sigel-Feel it in the air
ugh
Goodbye/....
I used to think that you were the one,
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all.
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 27 February :: 3.36pm
just redid my journal :-) yay its prettyyyy what do you think?
okay dont think im crazy or anything, but i am thinking of writing a book, if you would like your thoughts and ideas to be used in the making of this book please leave a comment in my journal asking 3 serious questions, or making 3 serious statements about things, and thoughts in life.. thank you <3
'nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you having fun.'
love,
someone who doesn't really matter to you, but you act like you care anyway
BlckTangldHrt35x: thats like my first instinct
BlckTangldHrt35x: to make ppl happy lol
Sarryy5: awww
Sarryy5: youre too nice
BlckTangldHrt35x: well i mean i guess the reason i do everything like that
BlckTangldHrt35x: is cuz i alwasy just think of that quoute "treat people how you would like to be treated" -- "do unto others as you would like done unto you"
Sarryy5: very true
Sarryy5: i wish everyone was like you
Sarryy5: life would be good
BlckTangldHrt35x: lol there will never be a selfless world
BlckTangldHrt35x: i mean i never used to be like this.. until i felt wat it was like to be on the bottom..
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i never wanted to feel like that again
Sarryy5: aww manda
Sarryy5: you dont have to ever feel like that again
Sarryy5: youre surrounded with all these people that care about you and love you:-)
BlckTangldHrt35x: aww babyyy i love you
Sarryy5: i love you way more
BlckTangldHrt35x: but most people will never understand what its liek on the other end of the comment, on the other end of the punch on the other end of whatever selfish scheme theyre plotting.. until they are in that position. and some even then will never understand. humans are naturally greedy.. people will NEVER be able to live civily and correct
5 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 27 February :: 10.37am
if we sleep together, will you like me better?
hum.. well first off.. i got to see ryannn yesterday aww i love him soooo much!
hmm what else is there.. i do still have alot on my mind but somethings been different lately i dont know what it is.. but i need something..
today I'm missing something,
in this small new england town.
here's to you my best friend...
just wanted to say that I miss
having you around.
7 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2005 26 February :: 10.59pm
your always in my head.. replaying over and over..
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2005 26 February :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: bouncy
fun night
so tonight i went to the mall yet again with traci, Courteney, Kathleen. Christy, And Ashley!! we had alot of fun.. some puerto rican guys were staring at us so traci and courteney thretened to thyrow their drink at them hahahaha ya so we were all WICKED hiper.. we didnt buy anything tho.. except pretzels!
x 6 TRACii 9 x: theres no point i should jsut be done with guys
xNikkiE 435x: what would you rather fuckig have girls!!! TRACI COLE PEACE DOWNNNNN
xNikkiE 435x: lol
x 6 TRACii 9 x: no lol just be like idependent no guys at all and grow up an old wrinkly lady who has 27 catz
xNikkiE 435x: omg thats so sad
-Nik
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