The Only Broken-Hearted Loser You'll Ever Need

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 18 November :: 1.23pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: none

everythibg is going wrong..
i dont even know why i try in life anymore.. nothing ever turns out well.. i try in school.. and what does that give me ? F's? exactly.. i try even harder in cheerleading and what does that get me? a permanent spot on jv? i cant take it anymore.. no matter how hard i try everything turns out like shit! ikm done with it.. im not even gunna try anymore.. everyone on varsity is either gorgeous or really really thin.. and im not either of those things :/ honestly i wish that i was even one of those things.. its like the harder i try the farther i fall.. i just cnt take it anymore.. i truely want to die.. so i wont hurt my friends or my family anymore becasue im a fuck up! i hate my life and everyone involved in it :(

3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 17 November :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: crazy in love: eminem.

...:(
yeah so it turns out that nikkie and julie cant come up this weekend...it would have been hard to plan rite neway cuz my mom is bein such a bitch about everything lately... i guess it can happen another time..

it feels like everything is falling apart...i hope i dont have to spend my birthday alone.

but my dad told me he'd drive me to natick sometime to see them... so i guess i happy bout that.

silentcriez

:: 2004 16 November :: 8.04pm

found my moms diary from her sophmore year today.. i remmeber reading it when i as really young and imagining what it really meant. its ironic that i could find it this year..

i feel like sending it to her with a letter that just said.. read this and tell me how you think i feel..

ah theres a lot of things id like to do but dont.. i make up reasons not to.. so i cant get hurt or fuck up.. im alwatys doing that like think about it.. i wont singin front of ppl cuz im afraid of messing up.. i wont play sports cuz im afraid ill mess up wont say shit cuz im afraid ill get made fun of god damn i need confidence..

well im half way through the journal and will mostlikely finish it tomorrow.. ill let you know

heres a few things i found interesting from it

"when we got there the boys came up to us and said "why werent you at the hockey game? dont you like to fool around"

"i wish to be a great writer and marry richie, and be beautiful and know alot more"

"promise me one thing oh beautiful human being, that time shall ease no love we shared, that a bird shall noy wisp away the strands which link us together. so fragile, and so easily broken. oh god i miss you and how will it be if you are a year gone, i want to make love to you - again."

"when mom and linda were at the mall i took a swig of southern comfort yum- but uck if i dont have to pretend. alchohol is something i dont understand, its so bad tasting and yet everybody love it.. yuck!"

"i love richard, he was the first one to 1. french kiss 2 say "i love you" 3. pet me 4. ask me about pot 5. write me 6. call me etc etc etc (p.s. you arent listening"

"i really wonder about life sometimes. these days are supposed to be such happy times. im so worried about whats gonna happen that i cant enjoy today"

"i had this really dumb test in health. it was about drugs woopie.! didnt really study but heres the good stuff. afte rthe test the teacher goes "i read that thi kid was on LSD at a party and he slit his wirsts and wrote a suicide note that said im sorry mom"

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

krazykelc1

:: 2004 16 November :: 6.51pm

Code for linking pictures to a journal

close all spaces after you copy it.. excluding the one between img and src.

< img src = " URL tag goes here " >

:: 2004 13 November :: 5.39pm
:: Music: kenny chesney x when the sun goes down!

AMAZING SONG!
ok so this song started it all...

magic 5 baby!!!

Sun tanned toes ticklin the sand
Cold drink chillin in my right hand
Watchin you sleep in the evening light
Restin up for a long, long night

Chorus:
Cause when the sun goes down, we'll be groovin
When the sun goes down, we'll be feelin all right
When the sun sinks down over the water
Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down

All day long just takin it easy
Layin in the hammock where it's nice and breezy
Sleepin off the night before
Cause when the sun goes down, we'll be back for more

Chorus:
When the sun goes down, we'll be groovin
When the sun goes down,we'll be feeling alright
When the sun sinks down over the water
Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down

This old guitar and my dark sunglasses
This sweet concoction is smooth as molasses
Nothing to do but breathe all day
Until the big moon rises and it's time to play

krazykelc1

:: 2004 13 November :: 10.55am
:: Mood: good

Happy Birthday Brother..

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

emmyd

:: 2004 13 November :: 10.53am

New Journal...

www.livejournal.com/~nost_al_gic

Thanks :-)
<3 Emmy

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 13 November :: 8.55am

hahahhahaha
DARIEN BIRD!!!!!!

hey HO!!! its nikkie!!! whats up man! i decided to hack in and write you a little thing! read my comment in your last entry becasue its really long! your birthday is pretty soon! well actually im stupid and i forgot when it is but i know its soon lol!!

its SNOWING HERE!!!!!!!!!

T T T T T T T

yay i love you forever and ever and ever!

-NIKKIE

silentcriez

:: 2004 11 November :: 4.18pm

last night was the night... 1 year ago.. it makes me sad to think about how much has changed since then.. how different we all were.. and all the different things we wanted..

11-10.. always a day to remember..

lizzy and i slept at michaels house and smoked a dutchy early in the am.. and it was SO coldddddddddd

kelsey hates me now apparently..i dont know i guess jimmy told her i hooked up with robbie.. which i did but it was ONCE and it was a long time ago before the summer..and obviously i didnt say anything to her about it because i knew shed be sad and i didnt want that to happen..i obviously should have told her because having someone else tell someone something is much worse.. i wish that she wouldnt get so angry tho.. its not like she owned(s) him.. i dont know its all so dumb.. it was in the past...like many other things id like to forget..

well thats it for now..

- amanda

3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 11 November :: 10.00am
:: Music: blake shelton x some beach

great song
Driving down the interstate
Running 30 minutes late
Singing 'Margaritaville' and minding my own
Some foreign car driving dude
With a road rage attitude
Pulled up beside me talking on his cell phone.

He started yelling at me
Like I did something wrong
He flipped me the bird
And then he was gone.

Some beach somewhere
There's a big umbrella
Casting shade over an empty chair
Palm trees are growing, warm breeze is blowing
I picture myself right there
On some beach, somewhere.

I circled the parking lot
Trying to find a spot
Just big enough
I could park my ol' truck
A man with a big cigar
Was getting into his car
I stopped and I waited for him to back up
But from out of nowhere a Mercedez Benz
Came cruising up, and whipped right in.

Some beach, somewhere
There's nowhere to go
When you've got all day to get there
There's cold Margaritas
And hot senoritas
Smiling with long dark hair
On somebeach, somewhere.

Well, I sat in that waiting room
Seemed like all afternoon
The nurse finally said the doc's ready for you
Your not gonna feel a thing
We'll give you some novacaine
That tooth will be fine in a minute or two
But he stuck that needle down deep in my gum
And he started drilling before I was numb.

Some beach, somewhere
There a beautiful sunset burning up the atmosphere
There's music and dancing, lovers romancing
In the salty evening air
On some beach, somewhere.

On somebeach, somewhere...

:: 2004 11 November :: 9.41am
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: suds in the bucket x sarah evans

gr
ok so yesterday was the varsity competition at fucking shepard hill.. in west bum! ya so we go.. the varsity did good.. but they didnt place.. so then dj and bill get there and me and gini were gunna go home with them.. os i tell coach and danielle was like no you cant ride home with bill carr... first of all i was driving home with my 18 year old FUCKING brother.. second.. it was none of her fucking buisness.. third of all it fucking made coach say no which is bull shit becasue i could have been home earlyier.. been able to go to julies.. gotten glasses with her this morning nd` all that shit!!! i just think its a little rediculuos that people cant shut their fucking mouths and mind their own fucking buisness!!

shes a fucking ELBOW!!!!!

x-x-x-x--x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x--x-x

She was in the backyard - they say it was a little past nine
When her prince pulled up - a white pickup truck
Her folks shoulda seen it comin' - it was only just a matter of time
Plenty old enough - and you can't stop love
She stuck a note on the screen door - "sorry but I got to go"
That was all she wrote - her mama's heart was broke
That was all she wrote - so the story goes

Now her daddy's in the kitchen - starin' out the window
Scratchin' and a rackin' his brains
How could 18 years just up and walk away
Our little pony-tailed girl growed up to be a woman
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye
She left the suds in the bucket
And the clothes hangin' out on the line

Now don't you wonder what the preacher's gonna preach about Sunday morn
Nothin' quite like this has happened here before
Well he must have been a looker - smooth talkin' son of a gun
For such a grounded girl - to just up and run
Course you can't fence time - and you can't stop love

Now all the biddy's in the beauty shop gossip goin' non-stop
Sippin' on pink lemonade
How could 18 years just up and walk away
Our little pony-tailed girl growed up to be a woman
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye
She left the suds in the bucket
And the clothes hangin' out on the line

She's got her pretty little bare feet hangin' out the window
And they're headin' up to Vegas tonight
How could 18 years just up and walk away
Our little pony-tailed girl growed up to be a woman
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye
She left the suds in the bucket
And the clothes hangin' out on the line

4 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 10 November :: 7.09pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: ...

...
ok so this my mom announces that we arent going to natick this weekend...and tells her friend that i can babysit for 7 hours on sunday...? wtf! and now i cant even go for my birthday amnd the only reason i couldnt go then was because we were going thus weeknd...

and now i have to do leaf work for tomorrow when i alreayd had plans which i told her about a week ago.

ugh im so mad!

well that was my complaint. my birthdays next in 12 days...so maybe shell actually let me celelbrate it.

:-/