silentcriez
|
::
2005 10 July :: 10.38am
you make me feel beautiful - ecstacy - heaven - life - you are perfect - nonchalant - pessimistic - gorgeous...
i dont know what im talking about but things are working for me, and im very thankful of that..
sarah and anna are here right now and theyre sleeping
i love them
update later
::I::Saw::Red::
|
Cocopuff
|
::
2005 7 July :: 12.31am
haha saw this in mandas thing so i tried it
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 6 July :: 1.13pm
Consider the forces which might influence a person's behavior and choices. What influences have played a role in the play so far? How has Romeo responded to the presence or absence of these forces? What can you say about his character based on his behavior?
Well being the stubborn person I am, I have taught myself self control and learned to pave the way for myself. Life has thrown temptations and barracades in my way, but I have a strong head on my shoulders which rarely fails me. In everday life we face people who cause us to be one way, and others another. Constantly juggling us back and forth, from likes, and dislikes. Love playing a big part in our society everyone wanders around searching for love. At 14 and 15 feeling left out when we don't know what love is. Well I believe that personally I have never experienced love, but whose to say for others, my definition surely varies from my peers. Basing a boyfriend or girlfriend upon love at this age is most likely just a hoax. With such immature logic, and undeveloped philosophies love consists merely of puppy dog emotions, lathered with infatuation. Love based upon vision and what is being scene, rather than felt.
Romeo believed that he truly love Rosaline, that he would never be free from her spell. He was infatuated by her, almost intoxicated by her beauty. Under the influence believing that nothing lived finer than she. When the reality is that he was blinded by this drug, this beauty. We are able to see that this so called love was not pure by how quickly he gets over her after the sight of Juliet. This makes me wonder if his intentions were pure. Does he see in her what he did in Rosaline as well? But with Juliet, he is sober, his eyesight is not blurry and loves for her soul. Love can make a person do crazy things. With this as one of the main themes in the play, it shows us that love is about taking risks, and being willing to lose everything you had earned for 5 minutes of happiness. That bliss felt when in the presence of eachother, like two parts of a song coming together, void when played alone, but when together forming a harmony like no other. When each instrument can finish the others song, love feeds off of this song, and grows with each note added, each day passing. Love is something to earned over time, not to be won in an instant.
I believe that Romeo is led by his heart. With the night as his veil, his insecurities are hidden and only his true self shows. Locked up in his room all day blocking out the day it shows us that he doesn't like to face reality, avoiding the light. Romeo and Juliet also show us that, "a life without love, is no life worth living."
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 4 July :: 12.39am
as the world grows less aware
we become comfortably numb
wading in the darkness
were hiding from the sun
as the world grows quiet and uncrowded
we watch with open eyes
--
cant finish that for some reason
--
eh my hearts not in it right now
so the fireworks were fun tonight the last ones natick will ever have :(
me drew sancho kelsey meaghan katie dunny and the toms went to coolidge hill for the fire works.. it was fun we drank and smoked and had a good time but i wanted to be somewhere else :-[ i want to talk to you..
i want to be with you..
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 30 June :: 9.43pm
why would you make me wait
when you know youll never come
why wont you tell me straight
instead of playing dumb?
why would you kiss my lips
when you wanna be saying goodbye
why would you tell me this
when you know its all lies
(chorus)
you make me weak
when you touch me
when you kiss me
im at your beck and call
im yours for keeps
when you love me
when you touch me
im giving it all..
so tell me why would you come here
When you want to be with her
baby why do you sound sincere
when your lifes really just a blur
and why would you drug me
with your innocence and wine
when your drunken and your lovely
and your leaving when the sun shines
(chorus)
beauty in a twisted lie
lovers in the twisted sheets
hating every minute here
yet your still with me
we play our stupid games
of do you love me enough
while were fighting together
were playing so rough
why would you taint me this way
and leave your mark on me
why would you say that youll stay
if its so easy to leave?
why would you call every night
when you dont hear a sound
well if your leaving tonight
you better start walking now..
--
a hand written letter
Sealed with a kiss
told a tall tale legend
of a love just like this
i saw it in movies
and books that i read
but i never imagined
these thoughts in my head
beauty falls under
pain makes its way
hearing the thunder
the sttorms on its way
if your leaving, get on and go
dont ever let me see your face again
im singing you a lullaby
soft and sweet
your giving me an alliby
your down ten feet deep
maybe we can make up
all this wasted time
under the moon where we kiss
in the untold stories
of a love just like this
--
"a purple melody floats in one ear and out the other for a moment i am changed. for a moment i am light. for a moment love is effortless. the silver plataue of crimson hovers above me in a lucid strand of heaven, while golden dandilions dance diligently to my melody. memories though esoteric are plenty in this euphoric pasture and they fill my mind. overflowing into an ocean of you. a purple melody floats in one ear and out the other and for a moment i am changed."
--
an echo in the darkness
bleeds its last goodbye
and im standing here naked
and im ready to cry
i stare deep into your eyes
As you push me away
why do i keep coming back
when i should walk away?
i need to leave you here
i need to start over again
it wont work now
and it didnt happen then
my hearts just an empty
vacume of pain
bordering confusion
im bordering insane
walk the plank little baby
take whats coming to you
walk the plank to your destiny
walk it off walk it off
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 27 June :: 10.52am
i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
you’ve built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
and there are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can’t find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that’s been
when love was wilder than the wind
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart....mm..mmm
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
OMGGGGGGG
BEACH TODAY WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!! i got soooo tan and saw the man of my dreams lol but he had a girlfriend lol and my mind was elsewhere.... bahaha write more later
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 26 June :: 10.49pm
the wake was really hard to take yesterday.. i cried alot but that wasnt the worst part for me.. the worst was the guilt i felt the rest of the night for being happy.. how can i be happy when this perfectly healthy smart young mans life has been ripped away from him without even being given the chance to show what he had to offer the world...its not right..
RIP SLIM 6/22/05
well we went to get something to eat after self medicating.. and then dana came over for a while which was good.. hm..
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 25 June :: 3.50pm
okay so that was dumb lol
dana and i headed out at like 10:30 stopped to get my money out -- it wouldnt work i had to call my dad and wait about 15 minutes.. finally got the money then headed out got almost all the way there and are looking for exit 5 -- i look at the signs and theyre all going up.. 32, 33, 34 hmmm looks like we took the wrong road lol so we turned back around and drove for a while then got lost again... dana got pissed and decided it wasnt even worth it to go so we drove all the way back home to natick.. oh joy -- i really wanted to go kyaking at this place but dana wouldnt! >:o so we got something to eat then went to the water fall in south natick and sat there for a while it was pretty.. then we left and drove around aimlessly in this damn heat.. n now im back home waiting for something to do.. damn.. what a day
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 25 June :: 8.59am
so last night was the oasis concert it was good wickid packed.. we sat in traffic for an hour and a half haha i slept the whole ride home
and now im waiting for dana to get out of work then were off to the sounds of the underground tour which should be fun :-)
update more later
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
Cocopuff
|
::
2005 22 June :: 9.19am
The Keys to Your Heart
|
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
Cocopuff
|
::
2005 21 June :: 11.20am
:-(
I love him so much!!!
I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!
i LOVE him with every bit of my heart!! i have never loved neone as much as i love him! i jsut love.. to b around him.. to be able to see his sweet face.. to be able to talk to him like i cant talk to other ppl.. to listen to him laff.. to have him make me laff.. to curl up together on his bed and never want to let go.. to joke around with.. to play video games with.. to play fight with.. to watch him skateboard and know hes haveing a good time.. to make love to.. to watch every movie there is with.. to wake up and know i get to see him today.. to wake up and know hes still right next to me.. to talk to him on the fone till i pass out, or he does.. the feeling of compleatness when hes wiht me.. the thought that there is no one above me.. the way he smells.. the way he looks into my eyes.. the way he kisses me.. the way he holds me.. the way he loves me.. the way he calls me BABY.. the way i can tell what hes thinkign by the look on his face.. the closeness he has for his family.. how every second i spend wiht him makes me love him more.. how when im mad or hes mad at eachother we can only stay mad for 2 mins tops.. how hes not jsut my boyfriend how hes my BESTfreind too.. how happy is an understatement for how i feel when were together.. how we prove opposites attract.. how i can spend evey min. of everyday with him and not get sick of him.. how without him i wouldnt be me.. simply.. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!!!!.. and everything about me wiht him..
i love Cj soo much...
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 19 June :: 12.39pm
some of my poetry
when you spend time day dreaming
theres nothing you can truly say
to keep you away from the subject in your mind
its there all the time
but you know that theres this place
its made for those who say
theyre insane and they cant take it
so they mold your life and make it
what you want it to be
what youd like to seee
when you look into the mirror at your face
but they cant replace
the things in your life they say
they must stay.. they must stay
--
beauty in the wind and sun in the sky
leaves my eyes open and questioning why
all thats around me is falling appart
why my once red heart is now grey and dark
they cant give me an anser
they tell me lifes just a game
intense salutations and too many names
they play tricks with your mind
and theyll trick you with time
tick tock tick tock
too many hands on the clock
spinning you a round until you see
that your worlds all its cracked up to be
theres pain and horror
and curious delight
and the person in the mirror
is a delirious sight
insanity is not enveloped in a room
with white padded walls for you
or in the pills that they stick down your throat
its in the things ppl dont want you to know
on their secrets in their pain
in their one sided brains
its too much its all that they know
and theres nowhere to go..
nowhere to turn
its your turn to burn
tick tock tick tock
too many hands on the clock..
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 18 June :: 1.59pm
we walk around aimlessly as we search for the answers to lifes questions. but who can really answer them? who can tell you what love is? when love can be interpreted differently by each and every person on this earth? whose to say whats wrong or right? we base everything on our society whats accepted and whats frowned upon. but its never really wrong unless you feel its wrong..
life works in crazy ways and i think that he was sent to me to get past everything.. to make my life easier to make me feel loved.. and its working im happy and i have been for the past week and every seemingly minute change in my life is impacting more than i can even grasp right now
joe and scott came over the other night and we had a talk about death.. and what joe said was completely true people are afraid of death because they feel nothing.. "like sleeping without dreaming" you dont feel anything when your sleeping.. your just.. not there.. and everything is going on around you and you are blissfully un aware.. and that scares me
and i also realized what my problem is..
i am constantly the one giving advice helping ppl analyzing ppl and things around me.. and when i am questioned i cant stand it.. because i am vulnerable and i cant stand rejection because im vulnerable and i cant stand heartbreak because i cant control it.. i hat e situations where im not in control.. just like i cant control whether or not i can hit a baseball when its thrown to me and that fact that i might not hit it shys me away from the game
just like with guys.. im afraid to make the first move because i dont know if they want me.. and once i know they want me im not afraid.. because its gaurenteed.. i wont feel rejection.. and that puts me in control of the situation..
i sit here day by day watching my ashtray fill up with cigarette after cigarette.. and its proof to me that one day is the same as the next..
life is crazy.. love is pain.. pain is pleasure.. and i live for it all..
.. my confession because i'm diluted
& perfectly flawed
i shall live by passion
& not by law
and i'm insecure ...
i need aggression
to feed the spiders of perception
and i'm supposed to be strong
& have all the answers
a cannibal
in the new church of cancer
but i'm nothing special
i'm not unique
i have many secrets
& i eat the weak
and i'm at an end
i'm at an end .....
and there's ...
NO WAY OUT!!
[chorus]
i need to find my sanctuary
..... someplace safe
gotta get this outta me
..... this is my escape
and i think about it all the time
i'm volatile and afraid to cry
but i'm still not comfortable
in my skin and the
anesthetics slowly wearing thin
& i need to talk to someone new
i need a different latitude
& i'm in this void all alone!
feeling needy... hungry to grow
but i'm suffocating -- can't come down
and .... no ....
THERE'S NO WAY OUT!!!
--- all i see is sadness
all i see is sadness ....
what's left?
-- this will teach them.
this will teach them,
......you've got to......
push.
Push.
PUSH............you are not alone
- this is where i hide my power
- this is where i become free
- this is where i take control
- and slowly choke your fantasies
- i want to know my day is coming
- see my enemies be punished
- shed my skin again
- this will be my best revenge!!
SHED MY SKIN AGAIN
THIS WILL BE MY BEST REVENGE!
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|
silentcriez
|
::
2005 18 June :: 1.01am
why does it feel so good to be so bad...
interesting..
Put me on the counter in the kitchen
Now baby pour my body with some ice cream
Lick me from head to toe
Bending me over
69'll be the next thing
I wanna taste your body all night long
From sun up to sun down I wanna make you moan
::I::Saw::Red::
|
|