emmyd
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::
2004 14 September :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: you had me..joss stone
la la la la
wow shops boring...lol Heidi does my hair everyday...we call it Cosmo in Graphics
but yeaaa neways....
NATICK = DRAMA
wow sooo much fuckin drama its fuckin scary...
ahh I HATE HER SO MUCH!!! (yea u know who the fuck im talkin about!)
hmm so last nite i talked to Ryan about "us"..it was a much needed conversation :-)
tomaro i have an assembly on class rings...lol
wow all i can think about now is how FUCKED UP people in natick are...damnn so much fuckin shit rite now
whatever...certain ppl need to keep their fuckin mouths SHUT and some ppl really need to NOT talk to me EVER cuz yea i hate you....
im out
-emily
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 13 September :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: blah
i guess...
i guess people forget. or lie. or they do things for no reason.
i will never understand...
have i been lying to myself?
im sick of everything, i hate it all.
i hope you like the new setup. (sry nikkie! i was ahving fun with my photobucket)
comment please
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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::
2004 13 September :: 7.24pm
worst day ever
BlckTangldHrt35x: no, i was walking down the street with lizzy kelsey meg katie and jessie
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they were all behind us
BlckTangldHrt35x: a HUGE group
BlckTangldHrt35x: cozzy and robbie and all those gay ppl
michaud815: o jesus
BlckTangldHrt35x: and fucking and im talking anf having a nice conversation with kelsey and all of a sudden i get fucking punched in the fuckng side of the head from the backk.. and cozzy and robbie are like "yeah forest ave" and all this shit and fucking i turn around and im liek what the fuck is that what is your problem with me
BlckTangldHrt35x: what the fuck did i do
BlckTangldHrt35x: and shes like you were talking mad shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: i was liek ok then tell me what i fucking said
BlckTangldHrt35x: and she was like i dont know what you said but you were talking mad shitr
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i was yelling and shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and kelsey pulled me away
michaud815: omggg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we walked away
michaud815: thats horrible >:o
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we decided to turn around and go follow them but we didnt know where they went
michaud815: lol oh shoot
BlckTangldHrt35x: so we were talking by danas and i called him and had him come outside
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we stayed iwtyh him for a little and i told him what happened
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we walked dt
BlckTangldHrt35x: and there they were
michaud815: ew
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lizzy went up to lindsey and was like so whats your problem.. is this setteled and lindsey was like yah i guess thats what i anted toi do and lizzy was likem ok but if this gets fucking brought up again.. or you anna fight amanda your gonna fight me too
michaud815: me too i'll be there
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we went into georges and ate some pizze
michaud815: swear to god, im tough, may not look it but wen im angry grrr
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana was there and stuff
michaud815: aww
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we went outside
BlckTangldHrt35x: and were siting on the little step thing and they were all like over a little bit from us
michaud815: stalkers
michaud815: god i cant beleive that
michaud815: who the fuck is lindsay
michaud815: or w/e
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they were talking shit and stuff and were just sitting there like this is gay shut the fuck up
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so this chick alyssa who hates all of us and is really fat walked by and matt screamed "YOUR A FUCKING FAT ASS SHIT TALKER" lol
michaud815: haha omggg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and now they all congragated closer to us
michaud815: omg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana was just like "shit talkers"
michaud815: i know right
michaud815: dude if this lindsay girl ever does this again, hell, not even that, tell me who she is im gonna go pick a fuckin fight with her, i want to fight so bad hahaha
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana walked over to talk to someone who he was freinds with and lindsey was like why do u like her shes fucking jail bate and he was like look at this crew all around me your all jailbate
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then dana and john had to leave so they get in danas car and he yells out "so its a no go" lol our joke
michaud815: haha aww
BlckTangldHrt35x: and this chick keri was like "soo john likes his best friends girlfriend"
michaud815: ew
BlckTangldHrt35x: and taht fat chick alyssa was like "oh girl is his fucking girlfriend"
BlckTangldHrt35x: that girl*
BlckTangldHrt35x: and all this crap
michaud815: wow, shit went down today
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they still havent said anything to us
michaud815: :-(
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we start walking away to go to johnson to just sit around
BlckTangldHrt35x: and now they start screaming
BlckTangldHrt35x: "meet us at 6 at johnson"
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we walk down and they drive by in a car and yell "6 at johnson" and we were like ok
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then they drive by again and change it to 530 and then they drive by again and are like riught now
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we go up there
BlckTangldHrt35x: and theres little kids all around so we were like fuck its
BlckTangldHrt35x: it*
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lindsey was like 7 at johnson
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we all left
BlckTangldHrt35x: and steph picked us up and we went to gonchas cuz goncha found out about me getting hit and she was heated and wanted to fuck lindsey up for touching me
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we went there and goncha was like that chick is gonna die for touching you and i felt so loved lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we all drive back downtown
michaud815: aw
BlckTangldHrt35x: and theyre all on the common
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we pull up and dana just happens to pull up behind us
michaud815: sweet
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so were all standing in a big circle in the middle of the common and everybodys talking shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then robbie and cozzy just happen to ride their bikes up
BlckTangldHrt35x: and im screamingf at them and everybody was yellingm and all this shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and goncha was liek so is this going down yes or no
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lindsey wouldnt
michaud815: hahahha
BlckTangldHrt35x: and steph drove me home
BlckTangldHrt35x: but i KNOW that this is not over
BlckTangldHrt35x: trust me
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 13 September :: 3.14pm
:: Music: bahh
nothing
i hate school!!i havent made any friends lol. i hate it there!i wanna come back to nhs...where i belong :-(well thats my complaint...
comment
::I::Saw::Red::
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emmyd
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2004 12 September :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: watchin charlies angels..
ehh
so the party wasnt that bad. . .
i got to see my baby cousin Gabriel!! i was soo happy my cousin Danielle and I played with him the whole nite, hes soo adorable, i took pictures of him lol
every1 loved the collage that i made :-)
it was a lot longer then wat i thought it was gunna be tho lol ppl didnt leave until like...11:30
i had a SIP of my moms smirnoff twisted..and maybe a FEW MORE SIPS of some other stuff... JUST SIPS! haha i swear!
i woke up and my tummy kinda hurt.. :-[
hmm today i just sat around cuz i was REALLY tired, then i took a wicked long shower cuz i pretty much fell asleep lol
marks a bum and has been in the basement the whole day, and says that i cant watch tv down there, wens hes there..umm no thats not gunna work out kidd
ehh im gunna go finish watchin charlies angels...
shop tomaro ...ehh boring
much love lol
-emmyd
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2004 12 September :: 4.58pm
fucking bad day gets even worse.....
so becca sed we were having a bean sleepover last nite.. i told amanda .. her mom sed yes and whatever so then emme ditches her so she ditches me to go be with her best friend kadie and shit.. then she apoligises to me and is like we cant fight.. bad things happen when your mad at me.. like Gene died!
She fucking blamed me for Gene! thats fucking rediculis and i can NEVER ever forgive her for that...
im crying becasue to think someone who was closer than close to you can blame you for something like that....
Gene i love ou so much! i miss you!
<3 NikkiE
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2004 12 September :: 12.34pm
i hate being in the middle of all this drama.. all i want is to have fun and be happy.. and people always have to start shit and make shit difficult why cant people fucking live their own lives.. everything is all fucked up and so good at the same time i just like wish for once issues would fucking go away so i didnt have to fucking deal with all this shit and i feel like im causing drama too when really its fucking people who cnat live their own fucking lives.. i dont know what the hell i keep ranting about.. im fucking sick of all this shit..
god damn
--
I see dark clouds out my window
I know the storm is coming any minute
and the thunder just confirms my fears
and I know the tears are in it
I'll be cryin unable to stop
look here comes the very first drop
'Cuz every time it rains
I fall to pieces
so many memories the rain releases
I feel you
I taste you
I cannot forget
everytime it rains
I get wet
Darlin I am still in love with you
as time passes by it just intensifies
I know I'll never be with you again
I'll never find another with that kindness in his eyes
I'll be trying unable to stop
look here comes the very first drop
'Cuz every time it rains
I fall to pieces
so many memories the rain releases
I feel you
I taste you
I cannot forget
everytime it rains
I get wet
On sunny days I'm all right
I walk in the light
and I try not to think about
the love I live without
---
Always have, always will
I was mesmerised when I first met you
wouldn't let myself believe
that you could step right out of my wildest dreams
but you didn't know
that secret part of me
until we kissed an made it open up so easily
I always have
even when it didn't show
I always will
you know that I just wanna touch you
whenever you're close to me
I always have
doesn't matter where we go
I always will
you know that I just wanna show you
just how much you mean to me
always have, always will
Everything that you give in to
everyting you'll ever need
is locked up somewhere deep inside of me
you gotta know
but more importantly
you've got to stay and hold me while we live this fantasy
I always have
even when it didn't show
I always will
you know that I just wanna touch you
whenever you're close to me
I always have
doesn't matter where we go
I always will
you know that I just wanna show you
just how much you mean to me
Sometimes we try too hard to please
we should let love come naturally
and sometimes I don't know
just what you really do to me
that is O.K.
cuz it's all part of the mystery
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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2004 12 September :: 11.48am
:: Mood: depressed
amanda maltz
my convo with amanda that made me a little bit less sad.........
xNikkiE 435x: no she didnt go!
BlckTangldHrt35x: hello my love lol
xNikkiE 435x: i was looking for her all day lol
xNikkiE 435x: hello my love too
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: i was with dana yesterday for 10 hours
BlckTangldHrt35x: how insane is that
xNikkiE 435x: insanely
xNikkiE 435x: lol
xNikkiE 435x: you needa go out with him
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i didnt get bored of him
BlckTangldHrt35x: isnt he gorgeous
xNikkiE 435x: ya.. lol so lizzy told me you went home from jimmys at 1 am
xNikkiE 435x: thats awesome!
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-)
xNikkiE 435x: amanda.. im so depressed
xNikkiE 435x: i really wanna kill myself
BlckTangldHrt35x: why so
BlckTangldHrt35x: SHUT UP
xNikkiE 435x: im not even kidding
BlckTangldHrt35x: why?
xNikkiE 435x: like everytime things are starting to go good.. my family is there to fuck it up
xNikkiE 435x: like ii was sitting on the front steps cuz its a nice day out nd my dad was like i want you out of the house today!
xNikkiE 435x: ui didnt even fucking do a single thing.. i dint even say anything
xNikkiE 435x: and then he went into my room and trashed it and stole my cell phone
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-\
xNikkiE 435x: and was like pushing me
BlckTangldHrt35x: nikkie i love you so much
xNikkiE 435x: .. and i feel kinda bad cuz i took thepicture of him and his father (who died) and sprayed windex all over it
BlckTangldHrt35x: but he had no right to push you or trash your room
xNikkiE 435x: but then after 3 hours of screaming and me crying my mom made him gimme the phone back if i gave the picture back... and he called my bama(his mom) and left a message of him like taping me!
xNikkiE 435x: like me saying i was gunna ruin all the pics ofg him and his dad
xNikkiE 435x: and now he left and it was the first time i ever sed fuck you to my dad... but lemme tell ya it felt Good
xNikkiE 435x: my mom said that on monday shes calling dss or that 10 day place jessie went to or whatever its called.. and she doesnt want me to come back!
BlckTangldHrt35x: are you kidding me
xNikkiE 435x: i swear
BlckTangldHrt35x: you didnt do anything wrong
xNikkiE 435x: i dont wanan go anywhere\
xNikkiE 435x: i knw
BlckTangldHrt35x: come live with me
xNikkiE 435x: but i have drugs in my system and everything
xNikkiE 435x: i dont know
xNikkiE 435x: what to do
BlckTangldHrt35x: omg
xNikkiE 435x: i know
xNikkiE 435x: and im just sitting hereat the computer crying
BlckTangldHrt35x: you need omni clean
xNikkiE 435x: ???????
xNikkiE 435x: whats that?
BlckTangldHrt35x: its this pill that clears your system of any drugs
xNikkiE 435x: ohhh...
xNikkiE 435x: well whatever if shes gunna send me away for real then i dont ever want to come back to see or or live with her or talk to her Ever again...
BlckTangldHrt35x: :'(
xNikkiE 435x: if she really sends me there i going to tell them i dont want her to visit me or anyone else
xNikkiE 435x: i just want to die amanda
xNikkiE 435x: i really really do
BlckTangldHrt35x: nicole
xNikkiE 435x: amanda
BlckTangldHrt35x: please dont say taht
xNikkiE 435x: i cant help it
xNikkiE 435x: h/o i needa tissue
BlckTangldHrt35x: ok :-(
xNikkiE 435x: ok im back... amanda.. i have a bloddy nose now .. this dfay fucken sucks
BlckTangldHrt35x: nikkie are you allowed to do anything?
xNikkiE 435x: no
BlckTangldHrt35x: ugh :-(
xNikkiE 435x: im stuck in this fucken house until monday when shes calling she says someone is gunna pick me up from school or some shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: Kocis350: well i can order this drink
Kocis350: that you take 2-3 hours before your test
Kocis350: and it holds all the toxins in your body
BlckTangldHrt35x: does it work?
Kocis350: and it has a 200% guarantee
BlckTangldHrt35x: how much is it
Kocis350: http://www.tests-shop.com/product71/product_info.html
Kocis350: 30 bucks a bottle
xNikkiE 435x: it offers a double money back guarentee
xNikkiE 435x: lol
xNikkiE 435x: amanda i love talking to you becasue i know you will listen and not criticise me or judge meore anything... and you always make me happy and make me laugh
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-Dgood i love you
xNikkiE 435x: i love you too
BlckTangldHrt35x: Kocis350: like 2-3 hours before your test you drink the whole bottle, then you fill it up with water and drink it, and then you have to go pee like 2 or 3 times
Kocis350: and you will pass your piss test for 5 hours
xNikkiE 435x: and who is giving us all this information?
BlckTangldHrt35x: dave kocis
xNikkiE 435x: and that would beeee...? lol
xNikkiE 435x: do i know this kocis fello?
BlckTangldHrt35x: you might
xNikkiE 435x: probobly not tho lol
xNikkiE 435x: i was really bored last night so i changed my journal
BlckTangldHrt35x: one sec
xNikkiE 435x: www.woohu.com/~xonixioex
xNikkiE 435x: k
xNikkiE 435x: ooopps wrong link
xNikkiE 435x: www.woohu.com/~xonixieox
BlckTangldHrt35x: i like ittttt
xNikkiE 435x: yay :-)
xNikkiE 435x: aww i like how yours says dana got sick
xNikkiE 435x: and you took care of him
xNikkiE 435x: and you didnt wanna leave him alone
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-D
xNikkiE 435x: ast night i went to jimmis with lizzy john mike ryann mike costello lee and tim.. haha we had an interesting night i must say
xNikkiE 435x: excuse meeeee
BlckTangldHrt35x: ;lol cuz 7u had to go
BlckTangldHrt35x: u missed all the more drinking
BlckTangldHrt35x: aty least john cma eback you meany
BlckTangldHrt35x: and you barely said goodbye!
xNikkiE 435x: there should be a "nikkie was there but she had to leqave but she smoked a blunt and i love her"
xNikkiE 435x: iu hugged you asshoole
BlckTangldHrt35x: bahahah look aty it
xNikkiE 435x: ewwwe there was a inchworm in your bud
xNikkiE 435x: ewwwe
xNikkiE 435x: k
BlckTangldHrt35x: YES lol
xNikkiE 435x: awwwwwwww your the love of my life too
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-D
xNikkiE 435x: ewwe what if you smoked
xNikkiE 435x: it
xNikkiE 435x: grrroooosssss
BlckTangldHrt35x: I KNOW thats what i thought
xNikkiE 435x: im fucking gagging
xNikkiE 435x: thats soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo NASTY
BlckTangldHrt35x: u should have seen it
xNikkiE 435x: i wish i did
xNikkiE 435x: it was probobly stoned
xNikkiE 435x: did you keep it
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: lol no
xNikkiE 435x: aww you should have broght it into school as a science project and said this is the incworm i found in my weed
xNikkiE 435x: its a stoner and i love it
xNikkiE 435x: and its my best friend
xNikkiE 435x: lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: LOL
^aww she makes me happy
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 11 September :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: nooo
:(
still soo unsure about everything.
i can never tell how people feel. i guess people play too many games. or do they? i dont even know.
im just sick of always not knowing
tell me how you feel.
4 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xonixieox
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::
2004 11 September :: 8.15pm
Havnt updated in a really long time! well i hae alot to say but im to tired to say it!
wow school sucks but i love being with my friends all the time!
Wow i must say that Yesterday was the best day of my life! wow grape is my new favorite flavor from now on... rightt lizzy! i love lizzy and amanda and all of the new people i met yesterday!
i ahd so much fun with those people... i wish that they could like teach the scumbag guys in our school a lesson! (that sounds kinda sexual... its not dont worry) anyways...
had natick days today so we had to wake up wicked earlyu after the game last night kinda a bad day to have it... 9/11! ohh well..
i painted faces for a while and then we threw up some stunts.. and did an amazing job!i have never thrown up a stunt that good. that was awesome!
-------------->
If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can’t take that away.
And I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.
From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea,
From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, there’s pride in every American heart,
and it’s time to stand and say:
I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A
IN LOVING MEMORY OF ANYONE WHO DIED DURING THE TRAGEDIES OF SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001, OR DURING THE WAR IN IRAQ
...
- NikkiE
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 11 September :: 7.05pm
i fixed dariens background and icon becasue i love her and miss her.. i love julie too!
<3 NikkiE
::I::Saw::Red::
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emmyd
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2004 11 September :: 5.30pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: tupac..
wtf
ahh this fucking family party shit is gunna drive me fucking crazy!! my dad is in the WORST mood ever, which is bad cuz then tonite hes not gunna enjoy anything...baa wtf and hes ignoring my mom, again...ahh she did so much for this fucking party, for him...hes gunna see so many ppl that he hasnt seen in forever...becuz she figured she would do sumthin nice for him and hes fucking being an asshole!! omg and i fucking cleaned the house this week for this thing and-- BAA im so pissed rite now...my dad is such a fucking ass...
and my mom today asked me in the car..
"If your father and I seperated who would you live with, me or him?"
i was like UMMM....?!?!?!but yea prolly my mom...but if i never got arrested then i would say my dad...cuiz b4 that he would let me do anything and we never fought....now we yell at eachother every fucking day and i hate him most of the time....baa rite now i really dont care if they get divorced..i hope they fucking do..ahh im sooo mad
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 11 September :: 2.27pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: breakaway...
fuck everything
so sad....
so confused...
and theres i can do about it.
id like a comment...
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2004 11 September :: 12.11pm
:: Music: on a sunday
My Greatest Sympathy's *911*
i think all the time about why things happen.. why i lose people.. why i meet people.. why i have to fight with people.. why things change form bad to good so fast and where the in between? i think about life and what it means and i think about how much people i barely know mean so much to me.. i dont understand logic and i dont understand my heart or my brian.. i wish i did i wish i knew what to do i wish i knew exactly how to handle everything i felt, thought and did.. i wish i knew how to cure every heartache and heal every wound but the truth is i cant and theres nothing i can do about it.. i am completely helpless and thats what kills me thats what i hate thats what makes me depressed is not having teh power to change what i want to change..
last night i went to jimmis with lizzy john mike ryann mike costello lee and tim.. NICOLE ALLEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LEFT ME TO GO TO THE FOOTBALL GAME!!! haha we had an interesting night i must say
awww dana got so sick and i had to take care of him :-) i didnt care that he was sick tho cuz i felt so bad and i didnt wanna leave him alone cuz he was sooo bad :(
well my sister came home last night :) yayyyyyyyy OMG i got her a gram last night and she was packing a bowl and she looked in it and it was moving.. and so she came over to me and lizzy and were like what is this and she put the bud on the table and we broke it up and there was a little fucking inchworm in it crawling around! how fucking nasty is that
Stepha4391: he must have been FUCKED UP
Stepha4391: little stoner
bahahahaha i love you
- manda
::I::Saw::Red::
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