Im wearing this big ugly green sweater right now and even though the neckline is almost choaking me and im getting kind of hot, i dont really care. i like this sweater.

it seems as if everyone is either hooking up or breaking up or somewhat in-between. i am, as you know, in-between. it would be nice to have a boyfriend again but, come what may. right now i dont really know if i like a certin person or not.

and my locker location totally sucks. im way on the outskirts. last row, and possibly the farthest possible locker away from my first period. not to mention that im next to alyssa (t) and andy lee. alyssas okay but, i mean, i want somebody that i can talk to. it really blows.

the only good thing that happened today was that i won a contest thing at a poetry site. the poem wasnt my best but i won 300 pts (its kind of complicated). ill post my (winning!) poem here:

A dark purple petal lay neatly on my shoulder, held together only by her tattered veins.

what torment it must have went
through.
and to think that the petal resting on my shoulder is stronger then I;
well-



the salty pain slid down my cheek.
and onto his hand.

and into my mouth.
and i licked it off.
tasting like, like
her perfume
...

And She Lived to see Another Day.
the first day of school was ok, so was the second...its gonna be a long, long year though.

Ophelia
Today I woke up at 840, and my mom and I headed over to a place called Potters Violins and got a new violin for me.
First, we went into this room and the guy showed us Clean violins, which is a brand that is a step up from Doeisth (sp?) which was what i wwas going to get. So I tried those out and they were brillient! But, sadly, they cost about 3,000 dollers.
Then I tried out 2 Doeisth violins and i chose the second one. After about trying out 15 different bows I got that, too.

So now I have a beautiful Violin that sounds fantastic and I actually oen it, no more renting! So I will probably have her until I stop playing. Her name is Ophelia.

It's almost noon now and I have a felling today is going to be a slow day, much differnt then the morning's activities. I might call up some of my friends and go to the mall for a big fat last-days-of-summer mall outing.

middle school orentation
today i did this little thingie at school, like an orentation. we went to eatch of our classes and talked about things and such. i have a pretty awsome team, i know at least 2 or 3 people in every class. plus i have will in every period with me exept my last one, theater arts, (drama) so we can actually find the classes together. because somhow i know im going to get lost.

cats and people.
I think my cat, Monty, just meowed in his sleep. hes not a mean cat, or the nicest one, either. but hes my cat. and i love him. Monty's full name is Montgomory (after monty burns on the simpsons) Jacob (my sister's idea, Jacob from O-town).

he is really pretty, though. Monty's fur is brown, black, and white on his feet and stomach. i love it when cats lick their paws and then wash their forehead. its so adorible! and the thing is, cats dont try to be cute. they dont wear low-rise paris blues and j-lo tube tops. cats are just naturally pretty.

people are naturally pretty, too.
without paris blues and jlo tops

i never liked jennifer lopez, anyway.

the 6-letter word
im slowly but surly heading into the thought that school is going to start in only about 2 weeks. but i dont want to know exetly how long. because summer is like a great book that you keep reading and reading. you never want it to end.

i suppose im ready for all of the acedemics in school, but what i am most exited about is the social scene. i cant wait to see all of my friends i never got around to seeing this summer even though i really wanted to...jinri, will, john, rachel...everyone else...

but im also nervous out my mind. i dont want to get bad grades. i dont want to not have a seat at the lunch table. i dont want to be incredibly shy and not make any new friends.

and i definatly dont want to check the calender.

2 + conditioner
Im alive, yes i am. So James apologized to me, which is always a plus. and im going over to amy's house, which is another plus. i havent been out of this house in soo long... its actually kind of sad. oh well.
oh! I took a shower today! and i realized, after i thoughroly washed my hair, that it doesnt really need conditionar. but i used conditionar anyway, because it smells nice.

im out.

here we go.
No one listens to me in this house. I mean, I took care of my 3year old cousin for 4 whole days, and i was the one that was doing basically everything for her, and then when they leave its like she wasnt even here! because of course i get no credit exept when my dad asks me to do something. example:
"courtney, you were really great with remy and i appriciate it, but you need to pick up your room."
and its not even THAT that bothers me so much. Its just that ive been in this house for way too long and i need to get out. because everyone is driving me insane. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITHOUT MY FAMILY. N-O-W. my dad and mom, perticurally, are annoying me. someone save me?