the end is the beginning is the end

the end is the beginning is the end

:: 2004 16 August :: 12.34 am

from "The Mothman Prophecies"
John Klein: I think we can assume that these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds?

Alexander Leek: You're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?

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:: 2004 9 August :: 10.25 pm

analyze this
i'm driving in an almost traffic jam on I-94, heading east out of detroit. it's crazy because i don't feel like i'm in control of the car, and everyone is going really fast. suddenly, the guy in front of me slams on his brakes, so i have to follow suit, and i swerve to avoid rear-ending him. the car behind me hits me, but it's a very light crash (if that makes any sense), and it sorta bounces off. so it turns into this huge pile-up of vehicles stuck on I-94, and i'm wondering, "what the hell caused this?"

so i park and get out of my car, and i walk over to a group of people. i ask them what's going on, and they're like, "there's a bunch of protesters up there!" and i'm like, "wha?" so i keep walking through the cars and i come to the end of the pile-up, where there's this open stretch of freeway for a few hundred feet. i don't know what was on the other side.... i can't remember... a parking lot? i don't know, it was weird.

i hear lots of yelling and i look over to see a few hundred people standing on the grass hill next to the freeway. behind them is wayne state (yeah, who knows). these "protesters" are shouting down at people who are trying to run across the open space on the freeway, egging them on to do it. then, as soon as someone builds up the courage to do so, the mob on the hill bust out rocks and other hard objects (forgive my memory, this dream was a whole 15 or so hours ago) and throws them at the people on the freeway! it was like being in a war zone!

so all these people by me are limping around, rubbing their bruised body parts and bleeding all over the place. i'm getting fed up with these assholes on the hill, and for some reason, i really want to get across. so i just start walking, paying no attention to the sneering from the mob, concentrating on getting to the other side. i have the dirty harry snarl going, pissed as hell, walking confidently as debris is flying at me.

but i never get hit, and i make it safely to the other side. at this point, everyone starts cheering - the dorks stuck in the traffic jam AND the freaks on the hill. a bunch of the protesters come running out of the wayne state building and congratulate me on being "brave" and "going against the norm" and "doing what i believe in," and all this business. then they hand me an award and bring me into the building where other "winners" are sitting around eating pizza and wearing birthday-type hats, blowing on noise makers. they sit me down at the head of the table in a nice leather chair, and a girl kisses me on the cheek.

the end.

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:: 2004 29 July :: 8.56 pm

this is what i want to see when i reach those pearly gates

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:: 2004 29 July :: 3.04 am
:: Music: morrissey

head in the clouds and a mouthful of pie
after megan somehow managed to convince danielle to go out tonight (i don't know what kind of LSD she slipped in danielle's sushi, but wow, it worked!) i was appointed the designated driver to take the girls to canada. oh my.

we got there at midnight.

after walking around and going into empty bars, we settled in at voodoo. *shakes head* it was packed like pickles [looks to joe for a chuckle]. it really wasn't fun.

i saw a waitress there that i'd talked to the last time we went. at that time, i'd inquired about the shots she was serving. they looked like chemistry test tubes. so i made a joke about it and she thought it was funny or whatever. so tonight when i saw her, i was like, "hey! chemistry test tubes!" and she was like, "hey, i remember you! i haven't seen you in a while, how are you?" danielle was standing there in shock. the waitress told me that there was a dress-up night at the bar, and she used my joke as inspiration for her costume - she was a chemist or something. so i said, "hey, do i get a free shot for that, then?" and she was like, "sure!" and gave me one. danielle was astonished at my smoothing talking. so i got a free test tube of red stuff.

megan and nicole were hit on by some weird dork. nicole got hoo-hah. bah.

the only other thing worth mentioning came at the end of the night. i walked over to an empty spot to lean against the wall, which just happened to be next to 3 girls. so this guy comes over to me and says, "hey - those girls are mine." and i'm like, "haha, okay man, i won't go near them!" then we're both standing there in silence with our arms crossed, and he says, "hey bro, got a cig?"

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:: 2004 22 July :: 4.15 pm

this is the last stop.

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:: 2004 28 June :: 5.38 pm

dual spirits
i was listening to the oldies radio station on the way home from work and i had a daydream about doing karaoke. joe and i would be at someone's wedding or some other type of large party, and we'd be singing "you've lost that lovin' feeling" by the righteous brothers. we would be all cheesy and get really into it, like, getting down on our knees, grasping toward the sky, clutching our hearts, walking up to girls and singing to them -- all of it. then we'd get to the breakdown part and start singing all high and screaming, "baaybay, baaybay! baaybay, BAYBAY! i need your loove!" and it would be so hilarious and fun!

of course, i'd make sure joe had a few fruity drinks in his system first.

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:: 2004 28 June :: 12.40 am

i really just want to write.
your worst enemy is fear. mine is fear too. we're all so scared of everything. scared scared scared. fear is almost always a catalyst in these decisions of life. scared to do something, so we don't; scared of what will happen if we don't do it, so we do. all these comfort zones fueled by fear. fear of breaking out and being alone. fear of hearts breaking. fear of love. what are we doing here? what do you fear? why? what aren't you doing? what aren't you living?

give yourself a chance. you can do this. you really can. anyone can live. have you ever really tried to love or to love yourself? don't you see everything you can be? you can be anyone. you can see anything. you can love anyone. you have this freedom. you're alive.

look deeper. try harder. think more. listen more. talk less. love.

we can make this world work. all of us, we can do this. we can love each other and we can be happy.

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:: 2004 25 June :: 5.31 am

that's right
officially smitten. hard-core.

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:: 2004 17 June :: 4.27 pm
:: Music: REM

this is how i've felt all week!
shiny happy people laughing

meet me in the crowd
people, people
throw your love around
love me, love me
take it into town
happy, happy
put it in the ground
where the flowers grow
gold and silver shine

shiny happy people holding hands
shiny happy people laughing

everyone around
love them, love them
put it in your hands
take, it take it
there's no time to cry
happy, happy
put it in your heart
where tomorrow shines
gold and silver shine

shiny happy people holding hands
shiny happy people laughing

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:: 2004 3 June :: 1.41 am

mandatory participation
i'm taking suggestions for the topic of my next journal entry. that's right, you - the reader - get to decide my next journal entry's content. once everyone suggests a topic, we'll vote on one.

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:: 2004 2 June :: 11.49 pm

L	Luscious
A	Altruistic
U	Unreal
R	Refreshing
E	Enchanting
N	New
C	Creative
E	Exciting

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

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:: 2004 21 May :: 8.56 pm

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: nirvana
Are you male or female: been a son
Describe yourself: rape me
How do some people feel about you: very ape
How do you feel about yourself: i hate myself and want to die
Describe your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend: radio-friendly unit shifter
Describe where you want to be: on a plain
Describe what you want to be: lounge act
Describe how you live: all apologies
Describe how you love: endless, nameless
Share a few words of wisdom: frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle

this and lists are all you get since laurence's brain is on vacation.