if you know me at all, this will be funny
Sagittarius In Love

Love is wonderful for many, but it's a bit of an enigma for the Archer. What, after all, is love? To libidinous Sagittarians, love is often sex, plain and simple. These straight-shooters want a partner who is a mental and physical equal, yet one who understands "love" on their terms. This means mutual independence and an ability for each partner to do, and be, exactly what they want.
Love can be hard for the Archer, since a fear of intimacy often swirls around them. For this reason, a friendship first is often the best way to encourage a love relationship with these folk. If this can be achieved, it's splendor between the sheets.

Sagittarius And Sex

The Archer is a Fire sign: 'Nuff said, at least where sex is concerned. The initial Sagittarian response where sex is concerned is through physicality, as opposed to emotion or practicality. The Archer is not shy, and like the half beast/half human that he/she represents, is quite the sexual animal. In other words, these folks are always ready!
Sagittarians like to enjoy many an erotic experience, in keeping with their outgoing and sociable nature. Their great libido also lends itself best to an artistic and graceful lover, qualities they very much admire. Trying new things is also often on the Archer's mind, and when their lover says sex on the beach, they had best not be referring to a fruity drink. The Sagittarian's thirst for knowledge is often quenched through straight talk in bed, a way to combine two of their favorite pleasures. Sagittarians can also grow to worship a worthy lover, a fitting response to this holiest of acts.

you're a stranger, so what do i care?
today at church, there was a special service for police men/women, firefighters, and emergency rescue workers. because my grandpa was a fireman back in the day, he was formally recognized and we got to sit with him and my grandma in the front of the church (it was reserved for family members). at the beginning of the mass, one of the knights of columbus played his bagpipes, and it was so awesome. i don't think i've ever experienced it like that, first-hand. sometime during the mass, i looked down at my grandparents and they were holding hands. it made me smile.

i go through album stages:
june/july = hail to the thief
august = day i forgot/ten
september = louder than bombs/thirteenth step

i went to the salvation army a couple weeks ago, and splurged on old cassette tapes. while i was in line at the register, there was a mother holding her baby behind me, and the child's eyes lit up when i looked at her. i smiled and she got that huge, tooth-less baby grin on her face and started stuttering out babble. then she started saying, "da da!" um, maybe the child's father has long hair?

i had a great time on friday night. seeing everyone back from college was nice. if only danielle had come with us to coney island! but she escaped early. however, i had a most spectacular time talking with everyone else and catching up on "times past." later in the night, we all sorta broke off, and people went home and stuff, but i stayed with rachelle and jackie. they convinced me to eat a melting moments ice cream cookie sandwich... which was a terrible idea. never will i do it again. but it was a fun time nonetheless.

it's getting dark out earlier and earlier every night. it's crisp and cool, leaves are changing color, and it smells like fall is upon us. i love it. what a great world it is, when the seasons change and bring such beautiful variety to nature.

last night i watched this A&E concert series thing, featuring paul mccartney live in moscow. it was amazing how many people came to see him. the crowd never ended, it was just masses of people, everywhere. he played a bunch of his beatles songs and he sounded great. but besides the actual concert, the show consisted of interviews with russian musicians and politicians who had to live through the communist times when westernized music (like the beatles) was outlawed in russia, and they were all so excited when they were finally able to buy the beatle albums. there were also clips of paul walking through cities in russia, going to run-down schools with under-privledged students, and talking to the kids, listening to them play music. he seems so down-to-earth, and he even said that the reason people like the beatles so much is because they weren't god-like at all, they were normal people, just like their fans. for some reason, i can't see some jack ass like eminem or puff daddy doing the same thing. they'd be too busy showing off their "crib" on mtv. that's why i like bands like the beatles so much. that's why i can't stand the music we have nowadays. but i'm gonna save that rant for another entry. i have things brewing in my head all about our assinine culture, and soon i'm gonna open up like a faucet and let it all flow out on paper. just give me a couple days. i'm excited. are you?

april come she will
i was listening to this song today and because i really like it, i decided to post the lyrics.

april, come she will
when streams are ripe and swelled with rain
may, she will stay
resting in my arms again

june, she'll change her tune
in restless walks she'll prowl the night
july, she will fly
and give no warning to her flight

august, die she must
the autumn winds blow chilly and cold
september, i'll remember
a love, once new, has now grown old

give us a wink and make me think of you
i'm such a wuss!! why can't i just talk to this person?! bah!!! someone give me some balls!

phew... for a minute, i lost myself
an email from nicole:

i had to send a random email to check something out. so just disreguard this, it has no purpose to you.

words are meaningless and forgettable
i love balance.

on the way to school this morning, i looked over at a car that was a little bit ahead of me, and the bumper sticker read: "i am the dread pirate roberts." i pulled up next to it and looked at the driver, and i swear it was kelly osbourne.

it's funny being in rush hour traffic at 8:00 am on the freeway while driving next to a bus. you feel like some LAPD fool is gonna weave his way through traffic, cut you off, and start screaming at the bus driver to "stay above 50!" er, maybe that's just me.

i had a dream that my computer screen turned into that snowy fuzz like the TVs had in "the ring." and after a little while, the fuzz turned into glowing white rings all over the black screen. the eerie screeching sounds were coming from the monitor too. it must suck to not have my brain.

i saw footage of this hurricane isabel business, and like a freak, i wish i could be smack dab in the middle of it. i wanna get blown around like the flimsy piece of paper that i am. there's just something so appealing about reality.

your halo's slipping down to choke you now.

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there's this weird urge that i've been getting more and more often, and it involves throwing everything i own away. i have an obsessive desire to not know what it's like to have connections to anyone or anything. it's not classic laurence-ism, but that could be the reason it intrigues me so. sometimes i just want to throw everything away. letters, pictures, notebooks, journals, books, CDs, cassette tapes, clothes, pencils, necklaces, shoes, razors, ticket stubs, guitars, magazine cut-outs, etc. and all the junk that i save because it has some kind of "sentimental value" to me. another word for "sentimental value" is cage. the amount of freedom i would attain is unimaginable. you know how, when you look at a certain object in your room, or spray on a fragrance, or wear a particular shirt, it reminds you of someone or something from your past? you hear a song and suddenly you're 15 years old again, cold, sitting alone at the dining room table at 7:30 am, staring out the window at the barren november landscape, with a stomach ache, trying to keep down the two bites of disgustingly dry waffles you could hardly even swallow, wishing that swallowing something was enough to fill the empty pit in your gut. a song - a mere melody, a collection of sounds - can make you feel something as real as the present sensation of a fingernail running down your arm. it's this authentic recollection of feelings that refrains you from wearing your favorite perfume/cologne because the scent actually triggers the same feeling your ex gave you when you used to wear it. does anyone else think that's scary? a smell triggers a feeling that is totally independent of (and not even caused by) the cologne in the first place? we've all experienced this, and therefore accept it and go on without another thought, just like episodes of de ja vu. it's just a natural part of life. but really think about it. it's amazing. and it's frightening, because regardless of where you are in your life, feelings will always pop up out of nowhere, when you least expect it and even when you try avoiding it. memories have power. i'm at this point where i want everything to be brand new. i don't want to know anything, or remember anything when i see a sign, or smell acqua di gio, or hear "to sheila". when i see a car, i don't want to associate it with a human being. it's a car, a material item made of dead, cold steel. un-living, un-feeling.

sometimes i wish i could be a car, only so i wouldn't have my human tendency to be a wuss. that way, i could throw everything away.

avoidance
the last time i wrote something was 8 days ago. i think of things throughout the day that i'd love to write in here, but by the time i get home from school, the only thing on my mind is food. and music. by the time i do go online, my passion and ability to communicate it is diminished. then i make an attempt at homework and fall asleep after reading my "roots of civilization" book until dinner time.

speaking of, history education is vital to appreciating and enjoying life. it also helps to point out how lame our current civilization/culture/society is. any way you slice it, we are lame as hell because we have not advanced as human beings the least bit. but, you ask, what about how "smart" we are? what about our medicine and our technology? what about our cars and our cell phones? well kids, what about human beings, in the flesh, in the soul? what about that? 5,000 years ago, people were killing each other. 5,000 years ago, there were social classes, tyrants, wars, persecution, slavery, and prejudice. hey, those don't sound like foreign words. how come i understand what those things are? i thought things would've been different five fucking thousand years ago. silly me. and about 2,500 years ago, money was introduced into classic greek civilization. pythermus, an ionian poet, wrote, "there's nothing else that matters - only money." twenty-five hundred years later, that statement still holds true. let's all take this moment to congratulate each other on having accomplished nothing.

we're as productive as ants, and just as important as the ones you crush with your doc martens.

one of the most beautiful songs ever written
speak to me in a language i can hear
humor me before i have to go
deep in thought i forgive everyone
as the cluttered streets greet me once again
i know i can't be late
supper's waiting on the table
tomorrow's just an excuse away
so i pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
the earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
at the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
steeple guide me to my heart and home
the sun is out and up and down again
i know i'll make it, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
and you can make it last, forever you
can make it last, forever you
and for a moment i lose myself
wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
i've journeyed here and there and back again
but in the same old haunts i still find my friends
mysteries not ready to reveal
sympathies i'm ready to return
i'll make the effort, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
tomorrow's just an excuse
tomorrow's just an excuse
and you can make it last, forever you
can make it last, forever you
forever you