Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

 

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poisonedxlove

:: 2004 9 March :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: nothing.. i'm in school

rawr!
yea so... i'm gunna go back in time... and start where i left off... since its been several days since i updated? well me and erica walked to school all last week... wednesday we went to mcdonalds at the mall and met up with laura there... then we all walked to school... thursday, we went to dunkin donuts, and friday we went to 7-11... it was fun while it lasted... we might start walking to school a couple days a week when it gets nice out... but we're not so sure yet...


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friday night me and courtney planned to hang out... it wasn't until 9:30 at night though when we finally made the plans for me to go over there... then my parents told me i couldn't go over around the corner til 11? what assholes... then my dad pissed me off and i flipped out and left the house and ended up going over courtneys house anyway... we chilled in her shed since she remodeled it... it was fun... i got back home around 11 and my parents didn't say shit to me about leaving... oh well... i hate them..

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saturday, kristen and kevin planned to come up, but then kevin had to work? but then his boss called him and told him he didn't have to go in, so he went n picked up kristen, and came here... in the meantime, jessica and courtney got really high and came over... and they were here when kevin n kristen got here.... we all hung out for a while... then jess n court left, we went to wawa, then the mall... and they met erica and charlene.... it was cool though.. then we just went back to my house n chilled.... then kevin left and kristen stayed over? and we actually went to bed at a decent time... like 3 in the morning lol... and woke up by like 11ish... ate, and everybody in my house left so we were home alone... then we told jr to come over... and while we waited for him, we went outside and played on my brothers power wheels cars... i shot a video on the digital of kristen on the power wheels dump truck <33 aww its so cute lol... then i got on the motorcycle and we drove around the block onto rt 38 and down chapel back to my house.. it was so funny... people were looking at us in their cars lmao.... anyway... we got back to my house... and then jr came over... we went to comp usa behind the moorestown mall, then went to jrs house... and just chilled there til like 7:45 when we left to take me home... then kristen came in to get her stuff, and they left to take kristen home :-(

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yesterday i didn't go to school... idk why... i just didn't feel good in the morning.. so i went back to sleep? and heather wasn't going to school anyway... daddy stayed home from work so he knew i stayed home.. it was all good... i slept til like 1 and then just chilled around the house like a lazy bum... then i remembered i had practice.... i ended up going to practice with amanda starke and jessica.. which was weird because i thought starkE had a problem with me, but apparently, she doesn't. oh well... not like i care? its getting kinda old and i wouldn't mind being friends with her again. so anyway... we got our official "i'm a geek" jackets too lol... and then we practiced our asses off doing ten thousand million drop spins and figure 8's and the same ruitine over and over and over again... and then we started learning some work.. because instead of doing pavas this year for indoor, we're going to perform with the band at the spring concert... to hopefully "recruit" some new spinners for outdoor.... so yea... got home.... ate a bunch of junk food... talked to kevin and decided i wasn't going to be mad at him anymore (for reasons i'd rather not talk about) and yea... me and kristen started to plan out like.. the next 2 weekends, plus spring break..... then i went upstairs and passed out lol

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on top of all that.... i talked to thayer again today... and he told me that monica's mom is deciding to be a complete bitch and not let him see her or even write to her, saying that only her immediate family could see her and all... and this isn't the place saying this... its HER because she wants to be a bitch.. because thayer IS her immediate family. and besides... joel and his kids are allowed to see her and all, but thayer isn't? yea thats really fucked up... i was so mad about that.... because now she won't get my letter? and i'm sure that she needs to hear from her friends right about now... shes been in there since the middle of january.. that's almost 2 months..... 4 left to go... god i miss her so much

i think about you all time
but i don't need the same
its lonely where you are
come back home
and i won't tell 'em your name

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 3 March :: 8.17am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: goo goo dolls - name

its kinda hard to explain...
despite all the bullshit drama that's been going on in and outside of school, right now, i'm feeling very... idk... calm and quiet... like... i wanna take a walk... and like go sit in a field and think... it would be nice, but this neighborhood sucks....


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but anyway... we don't have to be in school until like 11:30 this week because of HSPA testing... it ROCKS... so me and erica decided that we're going to walk to school all this week... stop somewheres for breakfast along the way... and just have a good time.. because with all that's been going on i haven't really had that much time to hang out with her...

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yesterday, erica walked over at like 10:00, and i went to meet her. and like... when i seen her, she was walking with somebody else, who happened to be pete. well it was cool, i didn't care... more people, more fun? well we got to my house... my dad didn't go to work yesterday so he was home, and when we got there, he was in the bathroom but he heard us come in... and like.. he called up to me and asked if i had missed the bus or something? because he didn't know that i was walking or something... but why the hell would i take the bus when its so fucking nice out that early in the morning? i love walking when its so nice out... it's great... and its refreshing... yea..

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on another note... i talked to thayer on monday, and he said that monica isn't allowed to get letters from her friends... at least not for a while... she might be able to get them after a few more months? well he said that since only her family could write to her, he would take my letter and mail it to her for me. so yesterday i gave him my letter along with this collage i made of a bunch of friends and erica printed it out for me... god i miss her so much... sutton said that she won't be in there 6 months, and that she'll get out before august... but i have doubts... i mean she'll still have a court case and all... but the charges will be less severe... idk i don't really wanna think that far ahead... because she could be looking at some time in county? and i just couldn't handle that...

1 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 29 February :: 3.47am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: watching LOTR

bored
yea well.. i was tired earlier.. but now i'm awake, and i'm bored... i took a few quizes...

merry
Congratulations! You're Merry!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


holding hands
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



You Have the Power to Turn Things to Stone!


What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla


haha that is too funny.. but its true?

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 29 February :: 1.37am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: watching final destination

last night
ok well yea i'm supposed to be grounded, but my parents let me out... first i went to the mall and chilled w/ ashley and jake and cait and reggie and all these other people.. but then we all decided to go back to reggie's house. it was cait, her friend rachel, ashley, nikki, emmy, me, jake, rob, tom, mark, and reggie... then brittney and matt showed up... and then bryan parks and his friend john showed up... well everybody except for bryan and john was chillin upstairs in reggie's balcony... it was so much fun... then we went down to see bryan... and people started leaving... and i mean alot of shit happened there... but i don't really want to get into it right now because i'm not home... i'm spending the night at my cousin krystal's house... so yea... it was fun stuff... then today, i went to the zoo with my mom, brother, and my two cousins... we spent like 4 hours there... it was something to do... so yea... then we came back here and watched the first 2 lotr movies... so its been cool... i just wish that i could have talked to kevin... bleh i haven't even talked to him for like 2 days... :-\ oh well... i'll talk to him tomarrow i guess... when i get home?

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: goo goo dolls - name

random thoughts..
yea... its such a nice day out... i wish i was allowed out, and i can't even call my mom to talk to her about it because our cell phone people fucked with our phones... its gay... so my mom has to wait like a week to call them back again... idk why.. but whatever... lately i've been noticing how like... idk i don't wanna sound like... bitchy or anything but i've been feeling kinda.. left out? like ya know.. when your friends are hanging out and all... and you're not invited to come along... yea well thats happened to me several times just recently... and im kinda getting bored with it...


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today kinda reminds me of like.. the "old days" (lol that sounds weird) when like... i'd go over lisa's after school... and then like.. tim and andrew boden would come over and we'd all hang out... and we'd be outside doing something.. whether its just chillin on the couch or running around like 10 year olds... i kinda miss that... and its weird cause i don't know if we'll ever get that chance to all be friends again like we used to be. i mean.. i know we won't ever be friends like that again... especially me and tim... but i mean... what i wouldn't do to just have one more day like that... not caring about anything... we didn't even have to be high or anything like that... we always had fun. i miss that alot...

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on a completely different topic... i took another quiz lol
You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i think that's so true about me... like... i never try to impress kevin or anything.. i'm not into the whole flowers and candy thing... its just not me... i mean i love him with all my heart, but that doesn't mean i have to be all like... idk... romantic with him all the time... like.. he's not just my boyfriend, he's my friend... and that means alot...

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 26 February :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: bored

took some quizzes...

See what drug you are.



Psycho. You are overwhelmed by anger. You may even
hate the world and everything in it and you
believe revenge is the way of the world. An eye
for an eye.


How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


gothic
very fucked.


what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 26 February :: 5.39pm
:: Music: watching that 70s show

i found this on a journal..
fill this out.. its funny lol...

I ____ Stephy.
Stephy is ____.
if I were alone in a room with Stephy, I would ____.
I think Stephy should _____
Stephy needs ____.
Stephy will never ____.
I want to _____ Stephy.
Stephy can ____ my _____.
when I think about Stephy, I ____.
Someday Stephy will _____.
Stephy reminds me of _____.
Without Stephy ____.
Memories of Stephy are ____.
Stephy can be ____.
____ is how I describe meeting Stephy.
Worst thing about Stephy is ____.
Best thing about Stephy is _____.
Stephy _____.
If Stephy was a flavor of ice cream she would be _____.
Stephy is my _____.
I wish Stephy would _____.

1 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 26 February :: 5.04pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: good charlotte - hold on

the stupid meeting
yea well... i went to the meeting this morning. it was my teachers, the house principal (culigan) my mom and me. yea well he started off by saying that my grades dropped dramatically from 1st to 2nd MP. he said that first MP my grades were rather good... but 2nd MP it all went down hill. i went down in all of my classes. he brought up my cutting class... i had over 50 cuts... and he said something about how the leading cause of students' grades dropping dramatically like mine did was "substance abuse." yea... well he was like "i'm not saying this is the case, but i'm just stating" and my mom steps in and goes "well that was the case" and she continued by telling my principal and my teachers how i was doing drugs around christmas time and when i was hanging out with britt n julie n the boys all the time... dude i was so mad. thats NONE of their business what i used to do in my spare time. like wtf. and he asked when the last time i used drugs was... and then my teachers were asking me if i was happy, or if i felt like i didn't belong at school... asking me if i was depressed, and if i see mrs rackozy(the school counsiler) it was all bullshit. but culigan said that since i haven't been cutting class at all, and i've improved my grades greatly... and i'm doing homework and making an effort, and since i've stopped doing drugs, he's going to cut me a BIG break and he was like "i'm going to do something i've never in my history of being a disiplinary principal done before. i'm going to just drop all of these 50+ cuts that you've got and just let you start off on a clean slate" it was the best thing i heard the whole meeting. because he said that if i would have been disiplined for all the cuts, i would have been suspended for 5 days which would have SUCKED... i would have been grounded for 10 times longer....

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on another note... i've been writing to monica recently... the letter is like 6 pages long back n front... i've just been so depressed about it all... i miss her so fucking much. it kills me to know that she's gone for so long.

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six months can seem like an eternity. especially when it's your best friend who's gone.

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 25 February :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: none.. watching the oc!

haha this is so funny
Stoner Bear
Stoner Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 24 February :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: worn out
:: Music: sublime - pawn shop

just finished a REALLY long survey..
yea this fucking thing took me two god damn hours to fill out! so read it *angry face* lmao...


000. Time you started taking this: 8:47
001.What is your name: stephy
002. Spell your name backwards: yhpets
003. Date of birth: o4.o7.88
004. Male or female: female
005. Astrological sign: aries
006. Nicknames: kissy, stephy
007. Occupation: uh I don’t work? I’m a student?
008. Height: 5'4
010. Hair color: I don’t remember… red, brown, blonde… black, orange, pink??
011. Eye color: brown
012. Where were you born: mt laurel?
013. Where do you reside now: cherry hill
014. Age: 15
015. Screen names: my sweet poisonX
016. E-mail addy: pinkpixystix47@yahoo.com
017. What does your screen name stand for: idk..?
018. What is your journal name: poisonedxlove
019. What does your journal name stand for?: .idk?
020. Pets: dog
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: 15
022. Piercings: ears
023. Tattoos: none yet.. I’m getting tinkerbell with sparkles around her on my lower tummy
024. Shoe size: idk? Like 8?
025. Righty or lefty: righty
026. Wearing: jeans n a hoodie
027. Hearing: smile empty soul
028. Feeling: BORED
029. Eating/drinking: pepsi.. duh

~Friends Stuff~

Which person you know is the....
030. Craziest: kate
031. Loudest: ashley
032. Nicest: brittney
033. Bitchiest: probably me
034. Life of the party: bo and julie
035. Jock: idk..
036. Prep: kristen
037. Rebel: monica
038. Cutest: idk? A lot of them
039. Best friend of the same sex: Kristen, la, Courtney, sam, Julie, boner
040. Best friend of the opposite sex: Kevin, jr?
041. Most popular: chet
042. Rudest: idk
043. Most shy: teresa!
044. Dumbest: matt lmao
045. Smartest: sam
046. Weirdest: Jake… he makes play dough penises lmao
047. Has the best hair: Jake DID til he cut it off?
048. Best personality: several people
049. Most talented? Deffinatly boner
050. Most ghetto: shawn
051. Most spoiled: erica
052. Drama queen: erica
053. Pain in the ass: idk… probably katie
054. Funniest: warren and jr
055. Best advice giver: Kristen hope and la
056. Druggie: none of my friends are druggies.. they prefer “junkies”
057. Most likely to join a cult: lisa.. lmao
058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently: yes
059. Person you've been friends with the longest: Rachel or erica
060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list: 169

~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love: yup
062. How many people have you told "I love you": and actually well said they meant it? idk
063. How many people have you been in love with: 2
064. How many people have you kissed: idk… too many to remember?
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: yes
066. How many people have you dated: a lot…
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl?: personality.. looks
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for: Goths/skaters/LOSERS
070. Do you have a bf/gf: surely
071. If so where did you meet them: through kristen
072. What do you like most about your bf/gf: I trust him
073. Do you have a crush right now: Johnny depp… he’s so hott lmao
074. If so who is it: see above?
075. Do you believe in love at first sight?: not really
076. Do you remember your first love: unfortunatly
077. Who is the first person you kissed: this kid dan from cinnaminson
079. Do you believe in soul mates: uhh… Kristen is my soul mate lol
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: I already did… score!

~Family Stuff~
104. How many siblings do you have: 1
105. What are your parents names: kelli and rob
106. What are your siblings names: johnathan (JR)
107. How many siblings does your mother have: 1
108. How many siblings does your father have: 7
109. Where are your parents from: palmyra
110. Is your family close: some of it…
111. Does your family get together for holidays: unfortunatly
112. Do you have a drunk uncle: doesn’t everyone?
113. Any medical problems run through your family: idk
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? YES!!! lmao
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews?:I HOPE not lol
116. Are your parents divorced: not yet lol
117. Do you have step parents: no.
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: yep.. it was me
119. If so for what: because I’m a fuck up
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country: my great grandfather came from like… italy I think

~Music Stuff~

121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life: smile empty soul – the other side… or simple plan – one day
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own: umm… I think I have a Madonna cd in my closet.. does that count?
123. What's the best cd you own: sublime owns ALL
124. What song do you absolutely hate: brittney spears
125. Do you sing in the shower: I always sing
126. What song reminds you of that special someone: with you

Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~
127. Pink:I’m my own worst enemy
128. Aerosmith: don’t wanna close my eyes
129. Madonna: like a virgin, touched for the very first time! Rofl me and sam’s song
130. Korn: don’t really listen to korn
131. Backstreet Boys: I want it that way
132. The Beatles: don’t listen to the beatles
133. Sublime: im hornier then ron Jeremy… YES I FUCKING LOVE SUBLIME
134. J.Lo: love don’t cost a thing
135. *Nsync: this I promise you
136. Limp Bizkit: everything is fucked everybody SUCKS
138. Creed: idk…
139. Enrique Iglesias: idk..
140. Good Charlotte: hold on, if you feel like letting go
141. Christina Aguilera: young girl don’t cry, I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
142. Eminem: when I was just a little baby boy my momma used to tell me these crazy things
143. New Found Glory: umm… I’d still pick my friends over you..
144. Kelly Clarkson: have you had a friend who let you down were you the last to know?
145. Kelly Osbourne: who cares..
146. Mandy Moore: sing to me the song of the stars, of your galaxy dancing and laughing again
147. Eve: idk…
148. Aaliyah: rock the boat.
149. Nelly: its getting hott in hurr!!! lmao
150. Alicia Keys: idk
151. Incubus: bat your eyes girl be otherworldly, count your blessings seduce a stranger

~Favorites~
152. Color: pink n black
153. Food: sugar
154. Song: I’ve got a few
155. Show: The OC and that 70’s show…
156. School subject: science or math or history.. no fuck that… LUNCH
157. Band/singer: Mariah carey, sublime, smile empty soul, idk… a lot more
158. Animal: kitties
159. Outfit: pj’s
160. Radio station: 100.3, 96.5
161. Movie: dirty dancing, anything disney
162. Pair of shoes: sneakers?
163. Cartoon: daria
164. Actor: Johnny depp, Orlando bloom, adam brody <3
165. Actress: Angelina jolie.. she’s so hott
166. Potato chip: idk
167. Drink: pepsi
168. Alcholic drink: vodka <3
169. Holiday: new years.. the only one I don’t have to spend w/ my family… and I get really drunk haha
170. Perfume/cologne: whatever chet wears.. rofl
171. Pizza topping: idk?
172. Jello flavor: watermelon
173. Lunch meat: none
174. Board game: outburst w/ sam Kristen n jeanna!
175. Video game: anything that I play in my room
176. Website: my journal
177. Book: innocence <3
178. Computer game: don’t play computer games
179. Number: 13
180. Cereal: anything not too sugary
181. Comedian: idk
182. Dessert: my mommys brownies… SCORE
183. Disney character: ariel….. duh
184. Clothing store: doesn’t matter.. as long as its comfy
185. Pasttime: the past 2 summers.. w/ kristen… and with jess n court
186. Teacher: last years world civ teacher… mecca’s so hott lmao
187. Childhood toy: Barbie dolls with green hair and things through its plastic skull <33
188. Carnival game/ride: ferris wheel w/ bo late at night over the water <33 I miss her L
189. Candy bar: idk…
190. Magazine: seventeen
191. Salad dressing: ranch
192. Thing to do on the weekend: chill w/ my homies.. lol
193. Hot drink: French vanilla cappuccino w/ hot chocolate
194. Season: spring, summer..
195. Sport to watch: football… I’ve grown to like it.
196. Person to talk to online: everybody…

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets: dark blue0
198. What color are your bedroom walls: its like… wood? idk
199. Do you have posters on your wall: posters, pictures, drawings, writing.. handprints… EVERYTHING is on my walls
200. If so of what: see above… plus a lot more
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom: yep
202. How many pillows are on your bed: 1-2
203. What do you normally sleep in: pj pants n a tank top
204. Describe your favourite pjs: pink babe pants, white tank w/ tweety
205. What size bed do you have: twin… but I rarely sleep on it
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: just a regular bed
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: nope
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep: always
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: last one… won’t say.. but the last one I WILL say… I got back with my ex boyfriend from last year… and a lot of shit happened, and I ended up killing him and burying his body in the woods behind my school.
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: not anymore
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed: I fit like 3 people in there once
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions: idk.. I don’t watch myself sleep
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: hellz no
214. Do you snore: no
215. How about drool?: lmao no
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room: of course
217. What color is the carpet in your room: all kinds of colors.. people draw on it..
218. What's under your bed: nothing.. my bed’s on the ground..

~This or that~
219. Coke/Pepsi: pepsi
220. Doughnuts/bagels: bagels
221. Day/night: night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: west
223. Heaven/hell: neither
224. Make love/have sex: neither… FUCK
225. Coffee/tea: umm… both?
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: neither
227. Rap/rock: rock
228. Britney/Christina: christina
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: american.
230. Real World/Road Rules: real world.
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: nsync lol I know more of their songs
232. Silver/gold: gold
233. Nike/Adidas: adidas
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: mcdonalds
235. Sweet/sour: sweet
236. Punk/emo: both
237. Hot/cold: hot
238. Winter/summer: summer
239. Spring/fall: spring
240. Operas/plays: plays
241. Read/watch tv: depends on the book/whats on tv
242. Cd's/tapes: deffinatly cds
243. Dvd's/vhs: doesn’t matter
244. Old/new: umm… depends?
245. Shorts/skirts: neither… I hate my legs.. but if I had to choose, a skirt
246. Pink/red: pink
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: depends on what it’s a picture of
248. Meat/vegetables: veggies
249. Mexican food/chinese food: chinese
250. Commercials/infomercials: commercials
251. Scary movies/comedies: HORROR!!!
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: deffinatly 2 piece shim suit
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: sandals
254. Dogs/cats: kitties
255. Unicorns/fairies: im a fairy freak?
256. Water/land: both…
257. Sugar/spice: sugar
258. Black/white: black
259. Ribbons/bows: bows
260. Chicken/beef: chicken
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: colored AND blinky
262. Cars/trucks: fast car!
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: james bond… hehe
264. Popcorn/pretzels: pretzels
265. Hip-hop/Rock: rock
266. Passionate kiss/peck: hmm… both?
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: neither
268. Back rub/foot massage: back… I HATE feet
269. Picture frames/photo albums: frames for the pictures of the people I really care about… albums for all my other friends
270. Pens/pencils: pens

~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~

271. Eminem: hate him
272. Virgins: see this! Innocence!! *points to self*
273. God: uhh..
274. The Osbournes: funny
275. Reality TV: okay sometimes
276. J.Lo: big ass
277. Religion: fuck religion
278. Emo music: love it!
279. Valentine's Day: stupid society. die
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: annoying
281. Homosexuals: nothing wrong with it
282. Abortion: idk
283. Inter-racial relationships: perfectly fine
284. Murder: love it
285. Death: love it
286. Obesity: nothing wrong with it as long as you’re not aunt jamima at my school… rofl
287. Pre-marital sex: no problem with it
288. Terrorism: as in mass destruction? SCORE
289. Pornography: don’t need to watch it
290. Fortune tellers: weird
291. Threesomes: lucky person rofl
292. Prostitution: SMUT
293. Politics: they should all die
294. Country music: not that bad
295. George W. Bush: dumb fuck
296. Cloning: I want a clone
297. Britney's boobs: eww?
298. Gas prices in America: who cares?

~Name Game~

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: idk
300. Tiffany: skank
301. Ben: benny from the mall
302. Maria: pretty
303. Jennifer: jew
304. Nicole: fork up her nose?
305. Amy: annoying
306. Adam: conceited
307. Richard: SMELLY
308. Justin: gay
309. Arnold: from the TV show
310. Tom: vw class
311. Melissa: my cousin
312. Charlotte: good charlotte!
313. Harold: the kid from the Arnold show!
314. John: sam’s ex… DIE
315. Joel: that kid who used to stalk me and laurie
316. Vanessa: ashleys cousin
317. Michelle: girl in my gym class.. she’s cool
318. Kevin: my heart <33 the boy Kristen says I’ll marry
319. Brent: idk
320. Jake: shaggy!!! He made a play dough penis
321. Billy: shwane’s cousin
322. Sarah: girl from my health class.. she was weird
323. Natalie: saffos… AHH DIE DIE DIE
324. Christy: boner’s HOTT sister
325. Nick: dirty dom
326. Linda: ashley’s other mother
327. Taylor: jay’s lil sister… aww so cute
328. Jordan: Jordan tor
329. Jamie: oneil… eww he licked me!
330. Adrian: idk

~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone: uhh no
332. Been on a diet: yea
333. Been to a foreign country: does mexico count?
334. Broken a bone: nope
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: eww
336. Swear at a teacher: all the time?
337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant messages: no?
338. Got in a fight: who hasn’t?
339. Dated a teacher: no but my world civ student teacher was really hott
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants: eww no
341. Thought about killing your enemy: I’m always plotting death
342. Gone skinny dipping: lmao… naked in the hot tub w/ Kristen hope
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh: no? but met sjc people.. losers
344. Told a little white lie: who hasn’t!?
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell: once… but it was important
346. Used a foreign object to masturbate: eww
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid: no?
348. Been on tv: mhmm
349. Been on the radio: nope
350. Been in a mosh pit: nah
351. Been to a concert: hellz yea… y100 feastival, front row, center stage with my best friends monica Julie and raine.. drunk as hell… jet, smile empty soul, dashboard, the offspring and 311!!!!
352. Dated one of your best friends: once
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry: mhmm…
354. Decieved somebody close to you: unfortunatly
355. Broken the law: yup
356. Been to a rodeo: no
357. Been on a talk show: nah
358. Been on a game show: no
359. Been on an airplane: yea
360. Got to ride on a firetruck: yea
361. Came close to dying: no comment
362. Cheated on a bf/gf: bleh… yea..
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride: my baby brother
364. Terrorized a babysitter: me? Terrorize somebody? lol
365. Made a mud pie: when I was little
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff: mhmm
367. Snuck out of the house at night: ALL the time
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name: lmao.. a few times
369. Had an eating disorder: yea
370. Felt like you didn't belong: often..
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel:yeaa
372. Smoked: yup
373. Done drugs: yup
374. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street: no that’s just wrong
375. Had your tonsils removed: nope
376. Gone to camp: nope
377. Won a bet: yeaa
378. Written a love letter: if you mean one of those “I can’t sleep cant eat cant breathe without you” kinda things… NO
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love: several times… and 95% of the time got grounded for it too
380. Written a love poem: nope
381. Kissed in the rain: jessica’s aunts house last year on her birthday… I remember it exactly.
382. Slow danced with someone you love: of course
383. Participated in cyber sex: lmao no
384. Faked an orgasm: VIRGIN!
385. Stolen a kiss: of course
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? yea
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf: yea :-\
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love: mhmm
389. Gotten a speeding ticket: I don’t drive yet
390. Done jail time: nah
391. Had to wear a uniform to work: nope
392. Won a trophy: yea when I was little
393. Thrown up in public: nope
394. Bowled a perfect game: on the video game!
395. Failed/got held back: nope
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school: hell no
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds: uhh?
398. Taken ballet lessons: yea
399. Attempted suicide: no comment
400. Cut yourself: many times

~Childhood Stuff~

401. Did you play with Barbies: who hasn’t
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls: still do
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210: nope
404. Did you play Simon: yea
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock: hell yea
406. Did you wet the bed: when I was little
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: hell yea I did.. and they growled at me n shit…
408. Did you lol: huh?
409. Were you shy: haha no
410. Were you spoiled: got EVERYTHING I wanted
411. Were you abused: nope
412. Did you go to the circus: all the time
413. Did you go to the zoo: still do
414. Were you in a car accident: yep
415. Did you build snowmen: still do
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee: no.. I was the tough bully type
417. Were your older cousins mean to you: heather hated me and I hated her.. then we became best friends
418. Did you think slinkies were cool: dude they’re soo fun to play with when you’re fucked up
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: hell yea
420. Were you afraid of the dark: when I was little.. I love the darnk now
421. Did you have slumber parties: didn’t EVERY little girl?
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas: no that was heather
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: huh?
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy: yea

~Randomness~

425. Do you believe in aliens: sure
426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: my bookbag, my book, dad’s tools
427. Do you have any hidden talents: idk?
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos: mtv = shit
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be: horror… I’d be the psycho along w/ kristen
430. What would your movie star name be: psycho bitch
431. Do you play any sports: nope
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen: umm… those tales from the crypt things when I was little scared the shit outa me
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently: pirates!!!
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen: darkness falls.. fucking tooth fairy
435. Do you drive: not yet
436. What is your dream car: hot pink jeep
437. Do you think you're good looking: no
438. Do others think you are good looking: yea
439. Would you ever sky dive: sure
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot: uhh?
441. How many rooms do you have in your house: idk
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters: hell no
443. Do you believe in God: nope
444. Do you believe in Satan: nope
445. Do you believe there is a heaven: nope.. when you die, you go into the ground
446. Do you believe there is a hell: see above?
447. Do you own a pooltable: yea
448. Do you have a pool: nope
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: its called my mom
450. Do you like chocolate: uh huh
451. Who/what is on your 2003 calendar: kitties n dogs
452. How many U.S. states have you been to: idk… several
453. Ever wished on a shooting star: yup
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore: I was a hooker in like 7th grade lmao
456. What is your weakness: trust
457. Name something you can't get enough of: spending time w/ people I care about
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: umm… apathetic…. Psychopathic…. crazy
459. How many kids do you want to have: none
460. Future daughters names: none
461. Future sons names: none
462. What is your ideal way to die: right now? Die by suicide after going on a mass murdering spree
463. How do you release stress: music
464. Are you a trendy person: nope
465. Are you an artistic person: when I’m fucked up
466. Are you a realistic person: sometimes
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off: no
468. Are you a strong person: idk
469. Are you a strong willed person: nope
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you: kevin
471. Who is the last person to IM you: my cousin
472. Do you hate chain e-mails: doesn’t everybody?
473. Are you a deep sleeper: at my house yes, or at any house I’m comfortable in.. yes
474. Are you a good story teller: when I’m in a psycho mood
475. What do you believe is your best quality: I listen
476. What is your greatest accomplishment: my bedroom!
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense: all the time
478. Do you do yoga: eww no
479. Do you have your own credit card: parents don’t trust me
480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money: first i'd bring raine back to jersey then buy my dream car (my hot pink jeep w/ sparkle flames and the word "bitch" written on the windshield)
481. Do you have a check book: nope
482. Do you like your driver's license picture: don’t got one yet
483. Do you tan easily: mhmm
484. What color is your hair naturally: don’t remember
485. How many fillings do you have: idk
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit: no idea
487. Worst feeling in the world: feeling alone
488. Best feeling in the world: being w/ my loser boyfriend
489. Is the glass half empty or half full: depends
490. Last thing you downloaded: bright eyes
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life: nope
492. What do you think people think of you: don’t care
493. Are you a likeable person: not usually.. unless I like you
494. Do you need therapy: deffinatly
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance: no
496. What is the best way to be proposed to: laying in the grass in a field watching the sunrise during summer
497. What kind of movie would you star in: horror movie… as the murderer
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UPS? No! because then they don’t have the arrow anymore! (in between the e and the x in “Ex”)
499. When are you moving: idk
500. What's your favorite phrase: “kill yourself, now”
501. What time is it now: 10:28

2 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 24 February :: 5.53pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: smile empty soul - the other side

yay
heh.. i finally redid my journal layout... tell me what you think of it... i spent like an hour doing it so you better like it lol

2 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 24 February :: 1.51pm

quiz i just took?
SteelWings
You have wings of STEEL. No one's really
sure why, but at this point in your life you've
shut off emotion to the point of extreme
apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of
the time...or perhaps you're just a good
pretender. Next to impossible to get close to,
even those who do never see the real you. It's
entirely possible that YOU don't even know the
real you. You have a certain fascination or
attraction to destruction on a massive scale -
disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of
the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much
inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away, and your true
wings will be revealed. Until then you will
deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter
silence and acceptance. On the positive side,
you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not
much can crack through your defenses. You
intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why
you're the way you are. A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death - you are a time
bomb waiting to explode and create some
destruction of your own.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 24 February :: 1.28pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: none..

in study hall
yea... so i know i haven't updated since like.. i got grounded... which kinda sucks but oh well... yea not much has happened anyway... i got pictures developed from when jake first got back from rehab.... they're so funny.. there's a picture of the play dough penis that jake made when we got bored.... and there were alot more... but yea... my dad got really fucked up on sunday night at timmer's house.... and it was to the point where he couldn't remember one thing from the next.... and my parents ended up getting into a really really big fight, and my dad broke the black phone... and my mom ended up giving me my corded phone back and told me to put it in my room.. i was like SCORE lol... and i have my cell phone back too... yea well we ended up going to my grandmothers sunday night and staying the night there because my mom wanted to get away from my dad... and so i didn't go to school yesterday. and so i just chilled around melissa's house and babysat darren and my brother.. then when krystal got home from school we went to her house and played some LOTR game where like.. you play online with people and you can like... talk to them with a headset.. it was cool... i made a friend from michigan lol... it's all good... idk things are looking better since last weekend... thats a plus... but i miss monica soo much.. i was thinking about her today and decided that im going to start writing her a letter for when she's allowed to get mail. it's going to be SOO long by the time it gets to her.. but i gotta stop writing now... bells going to ring soon..

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 18 February :: 3.02pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: avril - tomorrow

continuing last entry
well i'm not sure exactly where i left off but i think it was when the guys left on saturday night and jessie slept over... well kristen was dead tired, so she went right to bed, and so me n jessie stayed up later... i ended up going to bed around like 1ish.. and woke up at like 8ish... poppy made breakfast for everybody... then i think we just chilled around for a while... kevin came over... and then laura n kenny came over...then we all decided to go to the pier before we left to go to sams house... well the plan was to go to the pier... then to take jessie home then go to sams and kevin was gunna take me home at like 9:30... well everything went as planned until i didn't wanna go home... rian, bridget and jeanna were all at sam's house too, and i wanted to stay because i hadn't seen them in a while.. plus it was my first time meeting rian... well kristen was like "you should stay you should stay... we'll find you a ride home" and it was all good i was like fine... so kevin stayed til like 11 and then he left... then rian n bridget left around like 12:30... and jeanna slept over with us... well uhh.. we didn't sleep... we stayed up ALL night playing around in the back room with the karioke machine lol... then jeanna left at like 2ish i guess in the afternoon... and then kristen fell asleep... and we needed to find a ride home... well my dad ended up coming to pick me up.. and my parents were PISSED to find me in williamstown especially since i was supposed to be home the MORNING before... well it turned into a whole big fight, and kristen got pissed off at me for some reason but idk.. i haven't talked to her since then... and i got grounded... and i flipped out and i got my cell phone taken away, my computer privaliges taken away, and my dad took my phone out of my room.. so i have NOTHING.. i'm like on lock down.. but i can deal with it for now...

then tuesday, yesterday, i got home from school and my dad was home so i couldn't really do anything... i ended up going upstairs to my room and just falling asleep. i slept from like 4 in the afternoon til about 11... then i woke up, got a drink and checked my email.. then went back to bed... mike called me and left a msg and was like "steph its mike gimme a call when you get this i kinda gotta talk to you" but since i wasn't allowed to use the phone, i couldn't call back... oh well.. not like i really care.. nothing important..... but to make it simple.. my life sucks right now...

2 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 17 February :: 12.55pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: none

my weekend
yea well i'm in school... and i've got time to write.. just not sure how much time lol... oh well... so much shit happened this weekend! ugh... well lets start off with thursday... umm... thursday i chilled with courtney ashley and mike... nothing special there... then on friday, laura and kristen came up here to pick me up so i could go down to kristens. it was funny. they got lost on their way up here and kept winding up in maple shade lol. yea well they finally got up here, they helped me finish up my chores, and we left. then we just kinda chilled around on friday night there at kristens. then laura had to leave to go see kenny or something. then kevin came over. it was the first time i'd seen him since the concert, i was so happy. then we just kinda chilled around. kristen was tired and fell asleep at like 8:30, and kevin didn't leave until almost midnight, so we had alone time. nothing happened so don't get any ideas. lol... we just kinda hung out and did nothing.. litterally. then i fell asleep when he left. and kristen woke up at 2 in the morning since she went to sleep all early n shit. then she decided to wake me up at 5 30 in the morning, so i was up ALL day. kevin came over, bobby came over, and jessie came over... we all hung out all night. we went to the bowling alley and hung out around there. it was fun. jessie beat the fuck outa some kid with a belt and took his shit... SO funny hahaha... then we all went back to kristens, and the guys left by like 12ish... then jessie slept over.. and the bells about to ring so i'll have to finish at another time.. and a heads up.... IM GROUNDED!!!!

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 10 February :: 8.24pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: hilary duff - come clean

RIP cookie
teresa's cookie died :-(

i love you teresa!!!! we're going to run away together!

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 9 February :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: shattered
:: Music: plain white t's - a lonely september (on repeat)

to somebody?
I have so much n my mind and since I just need to get it out, this is how I will. Ok well to begin, when we broke up, the only thing going through my mind was ‘what am I gunna do?’ the thought of being without you hurts me so much. Then the only thing I could think of doing was to not talk to you anymore and try to block you out of my head and just try to forget about you. And at first it was working, but it was hard, and it hurt a lot not being able to talk to you… but I knew that if I talked to you again, I’d fall for you all over again, and you talked to me that day, and it happened. And it sucked because I had told myself I’d never go back to you, because we’ve gone through so much shit and I just didn’t want to deal with any more. But now I realize that I’m not ready to let go. I’m not ready to put you, my past, behind me. It just can’t happen, I can’t do it. I still love you, I always will, and it hard to know that you’ve moved on, and that you’re ready to let go, but I’m not, and I can’t. it hurts so much. maybe it’s the jealous ex girlfriend part of me coming out because you’re hanging out with some girl, and I don’t know her, and I don’t like some other girl having all of your attention and I hate how this girl is obviously getting more attention from you than I am. I can’t handle that. And with everything that’s going on already, how you were with that girl made it ten times worse for me. Maybe, again I’m just being protective over you because I care about you so fucking much but at this point, I just don’t know what else to do.

3 ...Man that is so dumb... | ¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 9 February :: 10.08pm
:: Mood: crushed

plain white t's
"A Lonely September"

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back/but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration goneit's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 7 February :: 12.55pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: watching a movie

got bored... took a survey
{x} what's your full name? stephanie leigh ******
{x} what are your nicknames? stephy or kissy
{x} when is your birthday? april 7th
{x} how tall are you? about 5'4
{x} what color are your eyes? brown
{x} where were you born? mt laurel
{x} where do you live now? cherry hill
{x} piercing? nope
{x} tattoos? not yet
{x} what size shoe are you? like 8.5
{x} have you ever been arrested? yep
{x} what type of shampoo/conditioner do you use? dove
{x} do you have any pets? yep
{x} what are their names? buster
{x} do you have any siblings? uh huh
{x} what is your astrological sign? aries
{x} who are your best friends? kristen hope, erica, courtney.. wish i could say julie and boner...

Y O U R P R E F E R E N C E S ?
{x} pierce your nose or tongue? tounge
{x} coke or pepsi? pepsi
{x} simple or complicated? both
{x} sunrise or sunset? sunset
{x} m&m's or skittles? skittles
{x} rap or rock? rock
{x} is it pop or soda? soda
{x} x or o in tic-tac-toe? o
{x} hot or cold? as in weather? gotta be hott
{x} tall members of the opposite sex or short? taller then me
{x} sun or moon? moon
{x} high or drunk? i smoke more, but i like drinking better
{x} kids or no kids? no kids
{x} cat or dog? cats
{x} half empty or half full? it depends
{x} sandals or sneakers? sneakers
{x} red car or white car? red
{x} hugging or kissing? some of both
{x} a year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? i lifetime of friendship filled with hott sex from that friend :-D
{x} marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? the perfect lover would be the perfect friend :-\
{x} sweet or sour? deff. sweet
{x} root beer or dr. pepper? root beer
{x} sappy/action/comedy/horror? horror
{x} shine or rain? summer rain in the pool w/ kristen
{x} winter/summer/fall/spring? summer
{x} vanilla or chocolate? chocolate
{x} eyes open or closed? closed
{x} lights on or off? off ;-)

Y O U R F A V O R I T E ?
{x} number? 13
{x} holiday? new years.. the one i get to spend with my friends getting trashed
{x} radio station? y100
{x} place? my room or kristen's house
{x} flower? dead roses
{x} scent? my incence in my room
{x} if you could be anywhere, where would you be? florida with bo
{x} what would you be doing there? running away with rainbow and never coming back

C U R R E N T S
{x} current clothes: white tank, grey hoodie, black guard pants
{x} current mood: tired and bored
{x} current taste: bubble gum.. yummy
{x} current annoyance: drama
{x} current smell: my bubble gum
{x} current thing you ought to be doing: showering, cleaning my room, and doing chores
{x} current desktop picture: picture of me and kristen hope
{x} current worry: when i'll get my friends back
{x} current sound: jarassic park is on
{x} current fav shoes: nikes
{x} current fav TV show: the oc
{x} current fav movie: uhh... may, half baked, anything scary...

L A S T P E R S O N ...
{x} you talked to? ross
{x} you hugged? courtney
{x} you instant messaged? erica
{x} you kissed? no comment?
{x} you yelled at? brittney :-\
{x} you laughed with? ashley g

H A V E Y O U / A R E Y O U / D O Y O U ....
{x} considered a life of crime? yep
{x} considered being a hooker? just kristen's hooker lol
{x} split personalities? maybe
{x} obsessive compulsive? deffinatly
{x} panic? sometimes..
{x} anxiety disorder? idk
{x} depressed? yea
{x} understanding? always
{x} open-minded? i try
{x} interesting? idk? i guess
{x} friendly? only to the people i like
{x} smart? if i wanna be
{x} childish? sometimes
{x} independent? trying...
{x} attractive? i don't think so, but others do
{x} bored easily? very easily
{x} responsible? when i need to be
{x} color your hair? all the time.. i don't remember my natural color lol

H A V E Y O U E V E R ?
{x} fallen for your best friend? mhmm
{x} made out with JUST a friend? yeaa
{x} been in love? twice
{x} used someone? yea
{x} been used? several times
{x} done something you regret? of course

O N D A T I N G ...
{x} long or short hair? depends... but not too long...
{x} dark or blond hair? doesn't really matter as long as it don't look fake and retarded
{x} tall or short? must be taller then me
{x} dark or light eyes? i like both..
{x} hat or no hat? depends on the person.. sometimes yes and sometimes no
{x} pierced or no? i like piercings :-D

¿Hey did you get some?


poisonedxlove

:: 2004 7 February :: 12.05pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: soty - until the day i die

i hate people
i guess it's been a while since i've updated this thing.. and alot has been happening... to start off with some of the positives... i passed my drivers test, moved all kinds of shit around in my room, got a new cell phone... but on a bad note... all my friends are fighting, and i feel like i'm dead in the middle of it all.. and it sucks so bad because i love julie to death.. she's like one of my best friends... and same with courtney... but they've gotten into two fights.. and i don't think thats the end of it... last weekend they got into a fight in my room... and last night out front of my house... starkE jessica and julie set courtney up... it was bad... idk... i think this is where i isolate myself from everybody for a while... run from all the drama... because i hate it all... i wish i could go down to kristen's... there's never drama down there... it's always just me and kristen.. and whoever else... her house is my favorite place to be... it's away from all my friends up here... and yea.. i told kristen to come up and see me today... and stay over and then kevin can come up tomarrow and we'll all hang out and spend the day together... it'll be fun lol... at least i hope... idk... i can't not be friends with and not talk to kevin.. it just doesn't work... i even tryed... but last night when i needed somebody to talk to, he's the first person i thought of :-\

onto something else completely different... i talked to tim yesterday after school... online... here's the convo, but i left a few lines out...

me (3:46:45 PM): hey umm... why was your number on my CID? (this is steph)
tim (3:47:49 PM): i have no idea julie just told me the same thing
me (3:48:13 PM): mhmm, i got home and checked my CID and your number was there and i got really weirded out..
me (3:48:28 PM): since i don't see any reason why you'd call me anyway.
tim (3:49:00 PM): exactly
(place where i took out a few lines)
tim (3:51:27 PM): i herd about kyle erhard also
tim (3:51:32 PM): lol
me (3:51:38 PM): oh jeez
tim (3:51:47 PM): imbarsed much?
tim (3:51:55 PM): embarassed*
me (3:51:56 PM): that was nothing. that was a mistake.. and dispite what you may have heard, i did NOT fuck him.
me (3:52:07 PM): i try not to remember that.
tim (3:52:10 PM): no i no you didnt almost though
me (3:52:36 PM): yea.. that was back in november... ashley and matt's birthday..
tim (3:52:43 PM): true
me (3:52:50 PM): are you still with amelia?
tim (3:52:54 PM): nah
tim (3:53:00 PM): shit happendd
tim signed off at 3:53:21 PM.
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Session concluded at 3:55:28 PM
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me (4:04:27 PM): k one more question and then i'll leave you alone. do you still hate me? err uhh... dislike me?
tim (4:04:45 PM): i dont hate you
tim (4:05:02 PM): i dont even care eny more
me (4:05:43 PM): ok then. i just had to get that out of my system..
tim (4:05:52 PM): lol
tim (4:05:57 PM): you still amuse me
me (4:06:05 PM): and why is that?
me (4:06:26 PM): i don't like the idea of somebody hating me
tim (4:06:31 PM): i think your amuseing because "me: ok then. i just had to get that out of my system.."
tim (4:06:43 PM): alright then
me (4:06:46 PM): me (4:06:26 PM): i don't like the idea of somebody hating me
tim (4:07:36 PM): mr. hart doesnt use the color black because its a bitch to wash off
tim (4:07:52 PM): tim: alright then
me (4:08:32 PM): idk... i put the past behind me... kinda blocked freshman year out of my head, but i thought that you hated me and like... thought you would hate me for the rest of forever, and then julie gave me your s/n today and all i wanted was to find out why your number was on my CID, and then a conversation started... and idk... i thought it was kinda weird.
tim (4:09:12 PM): i did the same with freshman year
me (4:09:29 PM): well that's a good thing i guess.
tim (4:09:43 PM): yeah sure
me (4:10:14 PM): yea i'll leave you alone now, byee.
tim (4:10:20 PM): i dont care
tim (4:10:58 PM): just to let u no
me (4:11:02 PM): ...
tim (4:11:15 PM): you dont have to leave me alone
me (4:11:44 PM): i really don't know what to talk about with you. not like we've talked recently. heh
tim (4:11:54 PM): tur
tim (4:11:56 PM): true
tim (4:11:58 PM): *
me (4:12:16 PM): so uhh... how's life been?
tim (4:12:26 PM): alright
tim (4:12:45 PM): nah it kinda sucks a bit i get hassled al the time about school
my sweet poisonX (4:13:00 PM): why? are you getting bad grades?
tim (4:13:17 PM): not really my moms just a bitch
me (4:14:07 PM): yea i know how that feels. my mom won't let me go to pennsville because she thinks i'm going to be doing mass amounts of drugs and drinking and getting in trouble with the cops.
tim (4:14:19 PM): lol
tim (4:14:26 PM): your a bad ass though
me (4:14:49 PM): i'm a good kid! i don't drink often, i don't do that many drugs... and i've only been in trouble with the cops once.
tim (4:14:59 PM): lol
tim (4:15:07 PM): im constantly drunk
tim (4:15:13 PM): and high
me (4:15:15 PM): so i've heard.
me (4:15:19 PM): thought you quit smoking?
tim (4:15:42 PM): and i only got in trouble with the cops well i didnt actually
tim (4:16:04 PM): i only do it cuz of my stomach problem
me (4:16:04 PM): lol
me (4:16:14 PM): stomach problem?
tim (4:16:27 PM): yeah i was in the hospital on tuesday
me (4:16:37 PM): oh really? what happened?
tim (4:17:07 PM): they dont no its just excrusiating pain i think my monthly friend came to visit
tim (4:17:13 PM): a ha ah ha ha ha
me (4:17:23 PM): haha... that's a little.. disturbing?
tim (4:17:49 PM): im just kidding they did all sorts of tests n didnt find a damn thing
me (4:18:06 PM): weird
tim (4:18:22 PM): lifes a bitch you just gotta deal with it
me (4:18:42 PM): that's so true...
me (4:18:59 PM): so who do you hang out with now?
tim (4:19:03 PM): it gets proven at least twice a day
tim (4:19:23 PM): amelia jake stoup pedro rivera
tim (4:19:30 PM): n the crew
me (4:19:38 PM): the crew? heh that's cool
me (4:20:09 PM): i was talking to uhh... jay mahoney the other day and he said that he hangs out with you and amelia and ashley sometimes
tim (4:20:12 PM): allison something sam steifier
tim (4:20:16 PM): joe lamana
tim (4:20:34 PM): yea i forgot about ashley
me (4:20:50 PM): that's cool... i talk to amelia and ashley sometimes
tim (4:21:05 PM): do you
me (4:21:16 PM): yea.. they're both in my gym class and my bio class
tim (4:21:25 PM): wow
me (4:21:29 PM): ?
tim (4:21:32 PM): thats acrazy shit man
me (4:21:38 PM): why is that?
tim (4:21:48 PM): just felt like saying
tim (4:21:49 PM): it
me (4:21:57 PM): lol ok then
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Auto response from tim (4:21:57 PM): some ease the pain by killing themselves
some kill themselves to easeing the paim
and some just pretent there is no pain
but everyone dies in the end i choose to kill my self by easing the pain so bring the magical green
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tim (4:25:43 PM): true right
tim (4:25:45 PM): ?
me (4:25:54 PM): lol yea
me (4:26:29 PM): are you still friends with like.. sutton or boner?
tim (4:27:22 PM): i dont really talk to them
tim (4:27:30 PM): if thats what you mean
me (4:28:19 PM): yea... that's cool though... i used to chill with brittney like every day until she quit smoking... now she's always with laura and rachel... but i might chill with her this weekend.
me (4:32:32 PM): is it possible to sneak into school by climbing through a window?
tim (4:32:41 PM): why?
me (4:32:45 PM): maybe not our school, but carusi?
tim (4:32:49 PM): whats up
tim (4:32:53 PM): ?
me (4:32:54 PM): because my friend is going to try and do it.. lol
tim (4:33:01 PM): what the hell for
?
me (4:33:23 PM): because there's a school dance and she doesn't want to pay to get in so she's going to climb through the window in the bathroom.
tim (4:33:59 PM): thats stupid as hell but what ever, i dunno
me (4:34:18 PM): lol yea..
me (4:34:28 PM): i wouldn't be going to a school dance anyway.. they suck
me (4:34:49 PM): i'm only going to calilion of bo comes up
tim (4:35:12 PM): of bo?
me (4:35:25 PM): if bo... raine
tim (4:35:44 PM): o
me (4:36:03 PM): yea... she said she might come up for catilion and me her and julie are gunna go together
tim (4:36:14 PM): true
me (4:36:57 PM): you hear about monica?
tim (4:37:31 PM): rehab??
me (4:37:39 PM): yea... 6 months
tim (4:37:42 PM): damn
me (4:37:50 PM): i was so depressed.. she's like my best friend
tim (4:37:52 PM): dats a bitch
tim (4:38:03 PM): yeah monicas sool as hell
me (4:38:04 PM): yea it sucks
tim (4:38:06 PM): cool*
me (4:38:49 PM): she wanted to do shrooms before she left, but she couldn't get any in time
tim (4:39:18 PM): sucks im gonna have a shit load in a like 2 or 3 months
me (4:39:32 PM): i wanna do shrooms so bad..
tim (4:39:48 PM): maybe well do that sometime
tim (4:39:52 PM): we'll*
me (4:39:59 PM): maybe
me (4:41:24 PM): i can't get ahold of sutton <>:o
tim (4:41:37 PM): i can
tim (4:41:47 PM): why do you need him
me (4:41:51 PM): i called him, there's no answer
me (4:42:00 PM): because we might be chillin tonight
tim (4:42:14 PM): oh you mean , nevermind
me (4:42:16 PM): lol
me (4:42:34 PM): me and him became alot closer friends
me (4:42:58 PM): and the past 2 weekends he's been grounded, for throwing chicken at his mom, and cutting school.
tim (4:43:21 PM): lol
me (4:43:51 PM): he threw chicken at her and told her he was going to kill her or some shit because she asked him to draw a picture for her boss or something.
tim (4:44:05 PM): lol
tim (4:44:11 PM): thats hilarious
me (4:44:28 PM): if i would have thrown chicken at my mom, i think she would have thrown it back at me and laughed
tim (4:44:37 PM): lol
tim (4:44:48 PM): what a crazy motherfucker
me (4:44:50 PM): lol
me (4:45:08 PM): so what are your plans for this weekend?
tim (4:45:19 PM): i cant do nething to day
me (4:45:24 PM): that sucks.. why not?
tim (4:45:28 PM): n tomorrow im going to a party
tim (4:45:39 PM): then sunday what ever heppens happnes
tim (4:46:01 PM): i went home before 1st period even started today
me (4:46:18 PM): oh... because of your stomach?
tim (4:46:25 PM): yeah
tim (4:46:37 PM): ive had one full day of school this week
me (4:46:43 PM): that sucks
tim (4:46:45 PM): n that was thursday
me (4:48:20 PM): fuck i'll be right back i gotta restart my computer.
tim (4:48:28 PM): thats cool
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Session concluded at 4:48:50 PM
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me (5:08:18 PM): hey... sorry i took so long lol, i kinda got distracted
tim (5:08:25 PM): addd
tim (5:08:30 PM): -d
me (5:08:37 PM): yea... jess called... and then courtney called
me (5:08:43 PM): courtney and ashley genzano are coming over
tim (5:09:00 PM): tru tell ganzano i said whats up
tim (5:09:08 PM): genzano*
me (5:09:22 PM): ok lol
me (5:09:45 PM): that's like all i do.. i'm always with courtney... and we just invite alot of people over and hang out here all night because we hooked up my room and all.
tim (5:09:56 PM): brb
me (5:10:01 PM): okk
tim (5:12:24 PM): back
me (5:12:29 PM): ok cool
me (5:12:54 PM): maybe sutton went to ross's
tim (5:13:05 PM): mayb
me (5:13:31 PM): thats the only logical thing i can think of.. because they were talking about going to the mall and wanted me to go to the mall with them.. but the mall is gay so i don't go there no more
tim (5:13:50 PM): good i fucking hate the mall
me (5:13:57 PM): lol
me (5:14:13 PM): ross and his crew of loser freshmen are the only people who still go there.. i go there to get things and that's it
tim (5:14:16 PM): no i hate ppl at the mall
tim (5:14:29 PM): rather
me (5:14:34 PM): tru
me (5:15:14 PM): me and court have been planning to go up to the mall all week to get posters for my room.. we just never got around to it..
tim (5:15:33 PM): shit happens
me (5:15:42 PM): heh yea
me (5:20:57 PM): well i'm gunna go... umm i guess i'll talk to you later? maybe we could hang out sometime.. byee
tim (5:21:57 PM): cya
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Session concluded at 5:22:30 PM
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- so yea... that's what happened... its really weird... that me and him talked.. like... civally, and normally without fighting and stupid shit like that... but i guess its a good thing... it's finally time to put the past behind me... well yea.. that's about all i have to say about now.. i'll probably write later...

¿Hey did you get some?

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