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See You At The Bitter End

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Jessika

:: 2004 10 March :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: Pukish-weird
:: Music: Geico could save you..blahblahblah

People are dying, I think.
Well....I am sure that SOMEWHERE people are dying. Anyway.....in drama we are watching Westside Story, so all through math when I was trying to think I had "Mariaaa!!!!!!!" going through my head...good thing the math assessment was super easy. I beleive I got a 4. English we read and analyzed the..(bauh bauh bauh BAUH!) PROLOGUE...after all this crap, we STILL have not begun to read Romeo and Juliet..pissing me off slightly. Social studies boring..nothing happened. Choir we are singing a song about rain and I actually like it. In Science Annie, Kelsey P., and I had to do stupido lab of horsepower and then halfway through I got super sick and such..It sucked. In gym I chose basketball over volleyball again. I hate volleyball. However I still felt all sick and blah, so afterwards I felt worse. Got out at 2:40....busses did not seem to come...Luckily I got a ride home from Kaylene. I was told Kaylene and I both are on the cover of the yearbook..Nifty, eh?



BTW...Who has Holy Grail? Bring it to Kaylene's!!!!!!!!!!! You must you must you must! Then we watch that and Rocky Horror! (assuming I get it back from Graham)



....sleep is good...

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 9 March :: 5.22pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Doug's First Movie

Meeehhh..
Water Goddess
You are the Goddess of Water. You are a very
loving, you show your emotions out in the open.
You are full of wisdom. Also dreamy... You
would rather be sleeping then awake. But are
still very happy. You are most inspiration to
the other Four Goddesses since without water
there wouldn't be life.
Other Water Goddesses: Aphrodite, Isis, Mariamne,
Mari, Tiamat, Yemaya, Ran, Kupala


Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


I stayed home today as well. I slept until 3ish and still want to sleep more. I have shitloads of homework and tommorrow we are taking a math assessment. Last night at the debate banquetm I got 3 things...one being a bison bill, another a forensics thing, and then a thing for having a high GPA. Gwen got the "I should've talked to senoirs more" award. I laughed. They did not have the slightest clue who she or Stacey Radonich was, so they both got those awards. At least they know who I am... I did feel bad for Josh, however. He went into the bathroom on the bus once and stayed for a long time and came out with a big ol' smile on his face, and you can guess the assumptions that were made. That is from Kirsty's point of view. But becase of that, the seniors gave him the "longest in bathroom award" and he turned colors....


Well I feel stupid. I am also very hungry. Damn us not having bread = (



Wanna know what makes me angry? WHen people think Love Song was written by 311 or Jack off Jill or someone else, I get angry. It was written by the motha-fucking CURE damnit!

2 Hearts | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 7 March :: 11.32am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Christian stuff...at 9:20 in the morning...OY!

Oh the stuff I find...
I shall drown you in my tears;
Suffocate you in my hate;
I'll strangle you with my fears,
Don't try to change now, you're already too late.

Now the trust is gone,
For now I can see
Your ignorance, disbelief:
All strains of your conterfeit personality.

For these emotions are vindictive,
Scratching at the walls of my soul
Begging to be freed,
Their strength I no longer control.

My dove of compassion is dead;
Now completely I'm desensitized,
Never to feel again.
For the lies in your eyes...

I shall drown you in my tears.
The hate will pour like rain
To smother your stupid little world
So I will be free once again.


Yes. Tiphni Lynn and I wrote this last summer, I do believe. I think I have posted it here before, but I am not sure anyone ever read it....so here it is again. I gave Tiph my general ideas and a few basic lines and how I wanted it to be, and she pretty much put my thoughts on paper. Wooo Tiph! ...I should remind her of this.

The stupid fucking little girl did not get her desired amount of banana bread. So I have to make more. Just for her. *angry face insert*


OOOO!! I also had a dream! It was about a SUPER fucking hot dude that I met when Shelle and I were on Slime Time Live! I got prizes and to be on TV : ). Then when everyone was gone, Me and Shelle were sitting there and then we noticed this super hot guy sitting all alone. He was from Texas. When we went back to school, he was in my English class, so I guess he moved :-p. Our school quite resembled Butte's. Anyway. He was pretty much gay..he had like 5% straight in him. He also had a crush on Colton ^_^. Then the doggy came and woke me up to let her out. = (.



I update too much.



BTW..."You're Sweet. Sweet like an orange creame sugar bunny." Yup.

2 Hearts | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 6 March :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: unproductive
:: Music: The Crow

This movie indeed rocks.
"Jesus Christ...stop me if you've heard this one...walks into a hotel, hands the innkeeper 3 nails and asks: 'Put me up for the night?'"


"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well, and yet everything happens only a certain number of times ... How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood ... that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps 4 or 5 times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless.


"Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It is that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember as certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps 4 and 5 times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless."


Bwaaahhhh I love this movie. It rocks in all its morbidness. I find it very funny. Do not ask why. Some parts are not meant to be funny, but oh well. *shrug*



Today I made banana bread. Other than that, I have watched a little tv and read like a hundred pages in the book I am reading. It is very very unproductive and I wish Roxanne would come save me. But, she probably won't.


My mom went to Passion of Christ today. She said she saw Mishelle, but did not say hi so as not to embarrass her in front of her friends :-p. BTW Shelle....what church do you go to?




Mother is the name of god in the hearts and eyes of young children. It seems as if I am not a young child anymore...I so thought I was, too. Aw well.



It may not be able to rain all of the time THERE, but I wish it WOULD rain sometimes HERE. I miss the rain = (.

Tidbit of sad info that I was unaware of: Brandon Lee died in the making of The Crow. One of the times he was shot, they were supposed to have a blank in the gun, however a real bullet was used. So he died. = (.


I think I am done now. I shall steal buh bai! ^_^.

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 4 March :: 5.36pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: BoFlex commercial...LostProphets

People are dying, I think.
Last night around 2 in the morning, I was awoken by a pounding. It kind of sounded like it was on the door, but kind of not. I was too groggy to go figure out, so I yelled at it to stop. I felt better since it obeyed. I was in near sleep mode and it began again. I yelled again and it didn't stop...so I kept yelling and finally it did. I woke up and decided to stay home like I should forever. Later the tiwns and my mom discovered this spot and then a line. In my opinion it looked like a melted crayon and then a line drawn in different crayon because of the texture crayons seem to leave on the walls. Harley said it was ink. But oh no, ditch the logical (not that those were LOGICAL persay...just better), and my mom concluded it is black blood. JOY. Someone is BLEEDING in our walls. And it is brought on by bad music, tv, and video games. Yup. She is now going to "bless" our house on Saturday. I don't know if I would rather have someone save me that day or stay to make sure they leave my room spawning demonic things. *shrug*



I think I should try school again tommorrow

2 Hearts | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 2 March :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Fairly Oddparents

Oh dear god.
So...I was really feeling shitty today. The only high point was remembering that my mom said she would take me to the doctor today. I was making her brownies and she came home. I brought it up and suddenly she was saying how she had never said she would even think about taking me tonight and definitely not. I get all emotionally inbalanced and stuff when I get sick. I began to cry. I went upstairs and was all out bawling. I could not help it. She called me down and was all bitchy and yelling. If we were going at all, it was going to be right now and I was getting my way just like always...blahblahblah. The seriously did not help my tears stop. So we went...I was crying the entire time we were in the waiting room. I finally stopped as my name got called. My mom said I was there for a little cold that I won't shut up about. Tears again. Nurse lady took my temperature...all that good stuff. Asked how long I had had my cold. I said it seemed like more than a cold...told her of the yuckiness..the lack of being able to breath. Oh and the mom said "She has been spitting up bile" and laughed at me. She said I would be dead had I been. Nurse made it seem like I was all right and all that good stuff. She left and I began to cry again. Once I stopped we had been waiting for like 10 minutes. Waited another ten. Doctor dude came in. Still made it seem like I had a little cold. Turns out I did. He called it Mononucleiosis. Yup. I gots me some mono. He said it was spreading like wildfire around the school. I began to cry again. There is nothing to do about it. Just deal with it. He is not sure if I have it definitely or not, but more than likely, and even if it was definite, it would be pointless just to know. As he was sitting there watching me cry, he brought up depression. I seemed to have the sympoms and all that good stuff. Nice of my mom to pipe in and say how "demanding" I was. He said depression hightens illness. all that good stuff. Yah. I know it. My mom kept going on about me being demanding and all bipolarish and crap. It came up that my dad had serious bipolar and and schizoeffective or something and she has severe depression. So now I shall be on Zoloft. Not Prozac...she wants to make sure I am taking my own pills as I constantly steal hers ;-). I need to sleep or cry or die or something.

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 1 March :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: Disney Channel

gng
Well...I stayed home today. I am running out of days quickly = (. I woke up at 11 after going to bed at 10:30....then I went back to sleep at noon till 3:20. I think I am on the path of sleeping my life away again.

I feel kinda bad for Roxanne. Barbi and I were gone today. We 3 are in a group and our thing is due tommorrow.



I think my house was burning down earlier today. It stunk and now is all hot and stuff.


I am cooking mozzarella sticks. I also forgot what was supposed to go here.

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 29 February :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: Christian stuff

Wooo!...?
Hecate
Hecate


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


Last time I do believe I got Morpheus.... *shrug*



BTW....IT IS SNOWING!!!!!!!!!! ;_;

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 28 February :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: old ladyish

Wooo!...?
I am dying my hair right now. I have to walk all hunched over so my hair won't fall off te top of my head. I also can't see. I had taken out my contacts, and my glasses won;t work because I can not look up enough. So my typing sucks. As you can all see.


Today I got Mozzarella sticks (YUM), the Da Vinci code, a swimsuit, hair dye, some protein drink, and my mom to say she will FINALLY take me to the doctor on Monday. YAYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!


Well...my back hurts. See y'all later.

3 Hearts | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 28 February :: 10.37am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: *scratch*...The puppy wants in.

I have a dream....that one day....my three children....
Ok. I did indeed have a dream last night. Just not like Martin Luther King. Nope. Mine was fun. And had a few members of AFI in it. It goes as such:

I am not sure why, but Davey and Adam (the drummer ;- )) were going to stay in Great Falls for a weekend. I offered to give them rooms and such, so they were staying with me. For some unknown reson to myself, I went off and stayed the night with Roxanne the first night they were here. If some AFI was in my house, I would not leave....But anywho. I came back pretty early Saturday. I discovered I could talk with them slightly, but whenever I wanted to start a conversation, I couldn't. I looked at them and said "It's YOU. I can't!" Fianally, I began to warm up to Adam. We had some interesting conversations. While we were out, it had snowed, melted and somehow snow was on the ground again. It was like 60 degrees out... Stupid Montana weather. We decided to go to the store. Davey wanted the "Thirst Quencher"...I figured out he wanted Sprite, but they did not have any. We got the next best thing. Then we looked again and found it, after the store dude told us they had none. So Davey got sarcastically annoyed and stole a tiny little thing of soda after saying "This'll teach ya", but then a store person came and he got caught. Somehow he got off the hook, and we checked out our stuff. The store clerk(the one that caught Davey stealing) looked over at me, gave me an evil look, and pointed saying "You had better watch out. I will get you." It creeped me out beyond all reason. I was happy when we left. We went back to my house, and I found out they also have Woohu journals = p. So, I added them to my friends page.

Shortly after, my puppy came and woke me up. It was 7:45 im the morning for Christ's Sake!



I realized I really need a boyfriend. Pathetic, eh?


I lost another death yesterday. Ironically I keep getting sicker and sicker. Coinkydink? I think not. I shall now go die in my sleep.

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 27 February :: 6.18pm
:: Mood: Weak
:: Music: Rocko's Modern Life!!!!!

My leg hurts.
Well....more pea soup-like substance this morning...


My computer is fucking up. I have to get on under my brother's name. Bleh.


I was about to stay home today, but I had stayed home Wendesday, and I am using my ten days sparingly. I was so weak and tired today...I nearly passed out or died or something in choir and history.



I need to go sleep now.

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 26 February :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: Take a guess.
:: Music: Full House

BOO!!
Alone
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 25 February :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Sister Sister

I have typed this fucking entry three times.... *angry face insert*
You adopt a child. Do you tell them they are adopted or not? If you don't, they will remain oblivious. They will not know what they are missing, so will forever be in happiness with you. (Judging that they have no way of finding out except you.) Or...do you tell them? They may hate you for not telling them sooner, or whatever, as it seems they would, but that will pass, correct? They will spend time now searching for parents that they more than likely will never find. There WAS some reasons there parents did not want them, or could not handle them. They will never find the parents they search for. But, they will love you all the more for telling them and being honest, right?


Which way is more correct? O_o


On another note, I coughed up stuff that looked like pea soup. It was all the puke green color and thick and chunky. Rather yucky.


I still have to put the finishing touches on my egg drop. That thing was such a fucking nuisance!!!!!!!!!!! I had to CUT the sticks with scissors to make it small enough. My hand hurts ;_; I need to put pretty pictures on it now. And test it... = - /




I gave my white guitar to Shane. I have no use for 3 guitars.

1 Heart | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 24 February :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: dog barking incessantly

i_i
Certain things really reminded me of other things today....like a chain reaction of good things.....bad memories to have when you know they will never again be. Meh....oh well. "Hakuna Matata", right? Got to put your past behind you. No going back. Get over it.




Harley's little nerdy friend likes me. JOY. *puke*




I may stay home tommorrow. I still feel all sick and stuff. It was funny. Today in Science, I realized my base was way too big. Annie said she would help me fix it, and she ended up literally sawing off popsicle stick with a big pair of dull science scissors. She also happened to get glue all over the desk. Mr. Logan will kill us tommorrow = ).

Speaking of death, there are around 5 people that have asked me to kill them over the past year or 2. I am willing to do it with a smile on my face, sure, but do I SEEM like the killer type???

Err....don't answer that.

2 Hearts | Love?


Jessika

:: 2004 24 February :: 10.27am
:: Mood: nauseated
:: Music: *hummmmmmm*

EMO!!!!
DAMN JOURNAL SKJDWRFJNSXJNKMWQ!!!!


I feel very sick lately. My throat hurts and coughing and sneezing are worse. I can hardly talk sometimes. My stomach feels like it hates me so is going to throw partially digested food everywhere as revenge.I am very achy and sore. Gym is a bitch. Unfortunately, I can not stay home tommorrow as we schedule. Not something I want to have to make up.


I am going to take a 7am class with Gwen/Mishelle if possible. Bio or Culinary Arts. I have to take Culinary Arts to get a vocational credit. Question for anyone: What do electives count towards? Do we get credit for them?

I think I got a pretty ok grade in drama today...I hope I got extra credit for being in two groups = }...


*sneeze* Owwwwwwwww


Egg drop is greatly confusing me.



Umm...Alex likes dicks!

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