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2004 13 January :: 3.44 pm
i dont care...
aww...look what cesar said...hehe...i was tellin him about some issues...i cut some off cause i dont want the world to know some...so here
EmoAndAlone16: im lost from everything...im just all fucked up...i mean i can sit somewhere and everyone will be fine...i play no impact in peoples lives...so why be here...
deathscythe7589: what are you talking about
deathscythe7589: you're my best friend
deathscythe7589: i love you!
deathscythe7589: i need you around donna :-(
deathscythe7589: dont talk like that!
EmoAndAlone16: hehe shut up...
more more
deathscythe7589: i wont let anything happen to you
deathscythe7589: as best i can
Crush ME |
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2004 12 January :: 8.06 pm
i'm overly annoyed right now...im sick of people talkin shit...seriously its gay..its pathetic too...everyone else is calling each other a pussy (i know i hate that fuckin word) because they wont fight...omg your more of a fuckin pussy if u fight...man its gay..your better off not fighting...its useless...you still hate the person afterwards but you just released some anger which still you hate the fuckin person...arg why cant people just think...its easy...fighting bad...i dont see a point in figthing at all...whosh...arg...i need to go...bye bye
6 Crushed ME |
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2004 12 January :: 3.47 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
okay today was a great day till lunch..arg..1st period my teacher decided to mover her test till tomorrow and i actually get whats going to be on the teast...so one score...2nd period at the student affairs office i didnt walk around...so double score...then in 3rd hmmm i took notes and had fun i love that class...cause i have coach karsen and carrie so its all good...4th hmm we made fun of the grl i hate so its always amusing...ahh my mouth burns...dumb pringles..then here comes lunch..i got my damn psat scores back...i got a 920 out of 1600...im so angry with myself...arg...i started crying at lunch..i was just soo frustarated..i want to cry more...but it takes too much energy...i just feel really stupid by gettin a 920...i need at least a 1200 to get into a good college...fuck i really need to get out of here...only reason why im soo mad...i need to get into uf or something out of tampa...i cant stay in tampa at all unless something worth it stops me...if i stay here my dad will still be in control of me and making my life misable...arg it sux...fuck a duck...okay i need to get off that right now...umm 5th period i did nothing but pratice on f-cat writing...i know ill do good on that im a pretty good writer...im so excited for tomorrow because in english we are writing fairy tales in groups...its me carrie jerrica and puja...i cant wait i love writing and being creative and making up characters and making up stories becasue i feel like in another world...i get to create this other world...no bad stuff...i want it to be with faeries..i dont know why...but carrie got me into faeries so at least my character will be a faerie in the story...umm 6th was boring...i hate that class like anyone wouldnt believe...thats why i try so hard to get out...its gay...7th umm chem and it was easy and i understand the stuff...its great...then 8th...hmmm new guy and its brandon hart...he is alright lookin just needs a neck badly...oh wellz...umm hmmm...i got a new bus today and bus driver...i think tomorrow im bringing my blanket...im not goin to 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 6th, and 7th...whosh patio time...i got clubs all those periods so im goin to just tell my teacher i have a club and go and get some friends to go chill on the patio...omg i just said chill...eww...hehe...im cold...brr...monday i got to volunteer...i dont know yet...im trying to get as many people as i can to go...so far i got carrie and jerrica and my sis...so its good and i think my mom is goin to be the head since my teacher might not be able to go...i have no hw today...whosh score for me...umm im goin to go cause i suddenly got sleepy and im goin to wait and see who gets on and chat a bit..who knows...bye bye
Empty Apartment
by Yellowcard
Call me out,
You stayed inside.
Run your love,
It's where you hide.
Shot me down,
As i flew by.
Crash and burn,
I need some sign,
To forget where the heart is..
Answer no,
To these questions.
Let her go,
Learn a lesson.
It's not me,
Your not listenin'.
Now can't you see,
Somthings missin'.
You forget where the heart is...
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
Solo
Waking up,
From this nightmare.
How's your life?
Whats it like there?
Is it all?
What you wanted it to be?
Does it hurt?
When you think about me?
And how broken my heart is...
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
Its ok to be angry,
And never let go.
It only gets harder,
The more that you know.
When you lonely,
If noones around.
You know that i'll catch you,
When your falling down.
We came together,
But you left alone.
And I know how it feels,
To walk out on your own.
Maybe someday,
I'll see you again.
You'll look into my eyes,
And call me your friend.
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
It's Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
It's Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Crush ME |
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2004 11 January :: 5.05 pm
wow...woohu is finally working...ive been trying to get on all day...oh wellz...anywho my tummy hurts...umm...hmm...thinking...today my mom got me on the highway...it was pretty scary for me...yea but i did it good...so score!...umm what else...i drove to eckerds and found my fav pringles..i hate them soo much but i only like one kind...dont ask me why...im odd...umm i got to remember to bring the cd tomororw...i got to do hw too...i hate people...they are gay...dont ask me why i said that...i just think my dad has a friend over and i hate them...they are gay...arg..hehe...umm...i dont know...arg tomorrow is school...i want to go to see people but i dont want to go cause of teachers..marcos wants to talk to me now...and i dont want to talk to him...oh wellz...ill figure it out w/e...cough cough...i hate my sister...she just ruined my day...okay im goin to go nothing more to write about...its all gay...bye bye...i need lyrics...ahh where are my lyrics...
Bite My Tounge
by Ataris, The
What can I say?
I'll bite my tongue again today.
What can I do when I feel so stupid over you?
I wish they'd go ahead and cut it off.
And I don't wanna work anymore
cause sometimes I just can't ignore
the way I feel when I see you smile.
And someday I'll just shut my eyes
and maybe then you'll realize...
I'm just a fucking geek in love with you.
When's the right time
to use a stupid pick up line?
"So how's the weather???
Do you wanna spend the night together?"
I know that you are just a girl
but in my eyes you rule the world,
I just thought I'd let you know.
You're my best friend and thats okay
but I wanna see you night and day,
and wake up holding you right by my side!
I've said my piece so now I'll run and hide.
I'll bring you candy and flowers,
sit by the phone for hours...
Sing a song outside your window
just if you would let me know.
No more waking up lonely
Will you be my one and only?
Please let me know right now.
Cause I'm not gonna live forever.
4 Crushed ME |
Crush ME |
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2004 10 January :: 10.20 pm
tonight was a lot of fun...all i can write now...
1 Crushed ME |
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2004 10 January :: 10.11 am
arg...im soo sleepy...i just woke up...i hate waking up because you realize your alive and that you have to live another day...its annoying...why is it impossible for a human to sleep for like a week straight...i would love that...anywho...i woke up really weird..i woke up with no blanket on me and about 3 pillows under me...i dont know...really odd...umm no dreams...thats good...my mom asked me this morning what i wanted to eat for dinner...i was like why...she says im not eathing...i am eating just not meals lately...i dont know...arg my sister just put spanish music on..i hate spanish...yea i think im going out tonight...also i think jen is coming over too...hmm not sure..one thing i do know...i need to get out of here for a while...just to get out my house and not school...im sick of everything like whoa...ummm...i wonder when carrie is getting on...i got to start downloading her music soon and go buy some cds..i dont know...crap..i need to develop my film too...hehe i need to waste some...oh yea i think my sister wanted them...oh wellz...i just know im not taking a pic of me...arg i hate pics...but i think i took a few pics with me and friends...ill post some good ones up after i get them scanned...hehe i took a pic of jen and crystal sleeping..that will be a good pic if it comes out...well im out cause i need something..i just cant think of it right now...hehe...bye bye!
my horoscope:
Sagittarius, you should be psyched to know there're some good vibes headed your way. Don't jinx yourself by being cocky, but things are certainly looking up today.
2 Crushed ME |
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2004 9 January :: 12.21 pm
ahh this is my third entry for the night...i think im gettin sick...i hate the thought of getting sick...sickness sux...my sis has kissed mike who is sick and she hasnt got sick yet but me on the other hand who has been good and hasnt kissed anyone forever is gettin sick...hmm kinda messed up i think...who cares...i dont..oh wellz...my finger hurts...i feel weird...i dont know...hehe...im too confused to speak...hehe...well im goin to go cause donna is like whoa tired and she doesnt feel like typing so peace...hehe...bye
2 Crushed ME |
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2004 9 January :: 8.33 pm
I love this song...i love how they sing it and the beat...whosh great song
Ender By Finch
Here I am beside myself again
I'm torn apart by words that you have said
All in all, I know we're falling apart
Where did you run to so far away?
And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are, asleep against the window pane
Just like always
You said you like to hear the rain sometimes
And all I can do is tell you the truth
and Oh, my eyes will tell you the same
And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are, asleep again
And here we are to sing you a song
And there you are, asleep again
And here I am, beside myself again
We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result
We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result
We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result
We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result (RESULT!!)
(We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result)
(We grasp our hands, together we feel
We are one result)
Crush ME |
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2004 9 January :: 5.56 pm
today was a pretty good day...i dont know why but it was untill i got home...but im not getting into that...everyone kept asking me why i was smiling and i kept saying i have no idea...it was amusing...so i had no teacher in 1st and the sub was kinda cute but he needed a neck...i dont know why i find imperfections in people but i do so i dont have to like them...2nd whosh was fun but it wears me out like completely...3rd was fun i guess...notes...w.e...umm 4th i love my 4th...i dont like hte people but i like the class..im really getting into environmental stuff...later in my life i plan to adopt kids from unfortunate countries and have an animal rescue thing...i have soo many dreams...its weird...its exciting...plus i want to go to flight attendant school over the summer before i go to college...cause they make like 18 bucks an hour and i can do it over weekends and make money and then go to school during the week or something...ill figure it out i got time...oh shit i forgot the cia and the peace core...hmm ill think about it somehow...then lunch was blah...umm 5th another blah..6th i left...i went to the library and walked a bit...7th hmmmm quiz that i failed...i undertand the shit its just i didnt get to study...8th was ummm i dont know...but we got a new guy and he is a senior westler...he is cute too but he needs something...he is way too perfect makes me sick...i was thinking about the marcos thing through out the day...everyone tells me i should go out wiht him..i dont really want to...im just not in the mood...plus he wont understand me at all...im too different...but who knows...just not right now...well im goin to go but ill be back later maybe...bye bye
Find Myself
by Roony
When will I learn how to be alone
How can I learn to let go of you
Everyone can see me
but I can't see myself
Have you seen the key that leads to me
cause I need to find myself
I'm runnin out
I'm runnin out of time to find myself
Why do I suck at putting smiles on their faces?
Why am I only funny to myself?
How come noone understands what I say?
but I thought I didn't know myself
Cause I need to find myself
I'm runnin out
I'm runnin out of time to find myself
I hate everyone
only on certain days
I think you're all annoyed by me
So I'll leave and find myself
I need to find myself
I'm runnin out
I'm runnin out of time to find myself(repeats twice)
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2004 8 January :: 8.03 pm
The Reason
by Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And me the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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