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2004 23 March :: 9.23 pm
i found this song on a forum and liked it...so its getting posted here for safe keeping...hehe...i got my expander off...score my teeth hurt but i got that stuff out...yey...it feels weird too how wellz...i can speak normal now i dont sound like a baby...score moneky...hehe...
Rise Against - Swing Life Away
am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first
let's compare scars and I'll tell you who's is worse
let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words...
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labour, I'll slave till the end
I won't cross these streets untill you hold my hand
Been here so long, think that it's time to move
The winters so cold, summer's over too soon
So let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
We've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine, we're on minimum wage
If love is a labour I'll slave till the end
I won't cross these streets untill you hold my hand
swing life away
swing life away
swing life away
swing life away
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2004 22 March :: 8.43 pm
this is a picture of military ball...look...hehe...
FIRST ROW...cesar my best guy friend...ME!! i wonder why im soo red?? maybe because i danced too much oh yea my hair is naturally red and i look like shit there!!...jen who is my good friend but she is a freshie (freshmen)...crystal aka my sister literally we have the same parents but we look nothing alike i look like my mom (white) she looks like my dad (cuban)...nessa she is my other good friend freshie hehe...LAST ROW...first two people i dont know lol...the last person in the row is carlos my other best guy friend he is awesome always there for me when i need someone...thanx you guys....as you can see we all had a blast...lol....we had more than a blast...well today was awesome ai from soo much fun me and crystal had good luck...and i got a new pair jeans that are baggy and a new pair of undies that are stripped pink...hehe im a dork....well im out im tired and i got things to do....hope you guys like the pic....BYE
this poem my best friend carlos wrote...isnt it amazing!
no title
I got up and wrote this today
Then i did the same things i alway do
Got up,dressed,and on my way
didn't think today would be different than
any other day
Repetitiveness got the best of me
Madness got the rest of me
all of these things that i couldn't foresee
Even now that i think about it i still can't
believe
What you've seen what you've done
all for some fun
How can you do that to a human being
Treat then like a less being
By doing demining shit
as if they were you property or your pet
But the person you do that to wont soon
forget
That's why we have kid colombines and shit
they'll get back at you eventually
shoot you a couple times just to make you
bleed
Make you feel the pain that they went threw just to get back at you
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2004 21 March :: 3.09 pm
guess what!!! i went bathing suit shopping and no insecurities and no tears.....its pink plaid.....its sooooooo cute...sicne my family has been arguing non stop for like a month...they have stopped and now my mom and dad feel guilty so we get whatever we want...oh yey...it wont change anything...but tomorrow im going to ai and friday too and maybe wed...i WANT a tan badly...and and and i got an application from old navy because they are hiring so hopfully i get that job...and saturday i get my license...and tuesday i take off my expander...dude my mouth is finally free to do what it does...hehe yey...this week kicks ass...and reminder call nessa...ahh...hehe...oh yea im going to pick up a guy this spring break....i cant go one spring break without picking some one up....last year i picked up some guy i forgot his name...lol....he was cute untill he started smoking...i was like okay nevermind...oh wellz i learned...i rented lord of the rings two...whatever the name of that one is...i love those movies now....they are good..well im out...bye bye peeps...
I want him, and yet I set my boundaries, never to be crossed. My best friend, although a lover he will never be.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss. No story book ending for this fairy tale of you. Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. (Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is A reminder of what I'll never have I'll never have... I'll never...
So you turned your back on a world that you could never have.
'Cause your heart's been cracked and everyone else's is goin' mad.
But I hear voices, and I see colors. But I wish I felt nothing.
Then it might be easy for me like it is for you.
And I know you believe that you and me don't belong here.
And the worst we could do is keep trying to pretend we care.
I Wish I Felt Nothing - Wallflowers
Nude
I'm sitting here before you
Yet I find myself alone
My heart and soul are bared
My chance with you has flown
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
Somehow I thought we'd last
I thought in you I'd found
Something that won't crumble
Something that was sound
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
Do you love me when you put me down?
Is it love that finds my faults?
You say I'm just a little girl
Full of memories and quotes
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Exposed
Afraid
Alone
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2004 20 March :: 9.32 am
man last night was such a blast....only bad part not so many hotties from other high schools :-(...oh wellz...i danced from 7:30 to 11 non stop...i didnt sit down once or ate...i only drank water like 3 times i dont know...i had my first slow dance last night...it was nice...i slowed dance with cesar, marcos, i think carlos, and tim...tim is hot but way too cocky....but he pretty cool...i slowed dance with him like 3 times...then when rock music played me and nessa went nuts..we bounced up and down doing our hair thing and playing air guitar...then this really hot guy from another school joined us but he left us before i could ask him for his name...another tear...hehe...this is for jerrica...omg i danced with roger....omg he can dance...i did all my ghetto dancing...booty dancing...haha it sounds so wrong...i got cesar to dance...he is soo funny...i danced with soo many different people..including the people at the top and then jessica, jill, and amy...dude we had a blast....well im going go cause i need to take a shower and sleep a bit and hack into thaimis journal....hehe yey for me......bye bye
-Every now and then, you meet that special person. That special someone and you just click. For no rhyme or reason you just connect and its like nothing else in the world is important to you. You and this person are in your own world and everyone else is revolving around you. It's like every word they say, you say too. Everything they do, you do too. And everything they feel, you feel too. Almost like there's a part of you inside one another. Then you take that special bond and feed it, and a deep friendship grows and that's what makes it truly a miracle-
-"When I fall in love it will be forever, or I'll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is, love is ended before it's begun, and too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun. When I give my heart it will be completely, or I'll never give my heart. And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too, is when I fall in love, I'll fall in love with you." Celine Dion
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
-"Work as though you don't need the money, dance as though no one's watching, and love as though you've never been hurt" Heath Ledger
Maybe the past is like
an anchor holding us back.
Maybe you have to let go
of who you were to become
who you will be -Sex & the City --from a friend
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2004 19 March :: 4.21 pm
okay..........well me and marcos are on a "break"....what the fuck does that mean....in my book it means we are over but in a nicer way....whatever doesnt bother me....i mean it really does because i do like him but not enough to worry about it....so yea...oh wellz if his terms of a break is just breaking up for a while then going back out.....ummm not here....i just no....dont feel like it....oh wellz then my whole family is against me....my insercurities are taking me over for tonight....like i think im going to look horrible or do something bad.....but im single so i cant do anything too bad.....well im out.....bye
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2004 18 March :: 4.08 pm
gah.....
What Happened To Us?
by Hoobastank
I thought it was too good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
Someone who would help me to get through
And fill an emptiness I had inside me
But you kept inside and I just denied
Some things that we should have both said
I knew it was too good to be true
Cause I'm the only one who understands me
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only?
Remember they thought we were too young
To really know what it takes to make it
But we had survived off what we have done
So we could show them all that they're mistaken
But who could have known
The lies that would grow
Until we could see right through them
Remember they knew we were too young
We still don't know what it takes to make it
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only one?
We could've made it work
We could've found a way
We should've done our best to see another day
But we kept it all inside until it was too late
And now we're both alone
The consequence we pay for throwing it all away
For throwing it all away
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
Quizes...been awhile...
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a moon shadow. With the moon as your source
you are a being of great mystery. Constantly
drifting, you descend into darkness to conceal
your brokenness. You have come to believe that
you are the only one you can rely upon for
constancy and safety that you need. But those
who know how to see you find enchanting beauty
in your wistfulness and fragility. It is to
them that you should flee, for their arms are
an open haven where your true light can finally
thrive..
What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
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2004 17 March :: 8.57 pm
i love my damn new layout.....its soooo cute......man they are hot......whosh.....friday military ball.....so great......i get to dance from 7-11.....oh score monkey for me.....im excited as hell......
Juneau
by Funeral For A Friend
Tied to the testing of wills, when my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(minds of your enemies)
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness
Well if this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
Fall forward to even the score, just a thought to you
Tied to the testing of wills, when my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
We're thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(minds of your enemies)
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness
And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
yeah I'm nothin more within a line in your book
yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book (x2)
Well if this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
Fall forward to even the score
Just a thought to you
(just a thought to you)x2
Yeah I'm nothin more, yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book
Yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book
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2004 15 March :: 4.41 pm
omg........im 11 in my class...wow in like 300 students in sophomore year....im 11.....wow go me....woot woot...today kicked ass...my blowfish thaimi came from her trip....man i missed her......hehe.....yey!.....bye
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2004 13 March :: 8.47 pm
Tearjerker
by Fenix TX
Your picture's on the wall,
Just waiting there to fall.
Still remind me,
That painful holiday.
Can almost here you say,
"Please don't miss me, too long"
What did I do wrong?
Could of sung a different song.
You were my tune.
Make my heart believe,
A want is not a need,
And I'm alright without you.
The days go by,
The nights don't change.
The stars still spell out your name.
I will wait for you.
The world has let me down.
Is it you're just not around?
I've lost my reason.
All the memories,
And every smile you gave to me,
You can keep them.
The days go by,
the nights don't change.
The stars still spell out your name.
I will wait for you.
I will wait for you.
I will wait for you.
I will wait for you.
I will wait for...
The days go by,
And still, I will wait for you.
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2004 12 March :: 4.10 pm
man im tired.....this week has been toooooooooo long....*burps*....i just ate spicy cajun pringles yummy and then drank a root beer mmmm....hehe my two favorite things...my mouth hurts....and my fingers too...ahh what have ive been doing with those things....hmm nothing!...so what has happened this week....i got nhs and i got treasurer for student government and i got ummm something...let me think..oh wellz i dont remember...oh yea i do remember im going to go out for dancerette i think i dont know i kinda want to...i want to loose wait and have fun so that sounds good to me......plus ill go to all the football games....and i dont have a half bad body...just like driggers says...im j-lo with boobies....hehe yes yes....during 8th period i hung out with driggers...he is really awesome....during 1st i had a test...and i didnt get to finish it so i was really pissed...2 i was umm doing office....3 thingy....4 test.....5 poem....6 thingy....7 paper....8 driggers....hmmmmmmm SOUNDS GOOD...me and olivia are going out tomorrow.....yippie...i get to swim and i get to pick up guys...im tired...and i want to say something but me forgot......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......something happened but i really cant remember...only thing i can remember is the convo me and thaimi had...oh well i have nothing really to write so ill write our convo...we were talking about how people say shit like i want to kill myself or im not good enough or i suck or do what i want and shit.....they are only doing it for attention so someone would say oh no dont...gosh thats annoying...ill admit i said i wanted to die....but i actually wanted to die...it wasnt for attention....i wish i was dead now but thats beside the point and i promised 2 people now i wouldnt so im not....you just got to live the days...yup yup..well im going to go cause someone is going to call me soon and i dont want this to be deleted.....ill write back later.....
I will NEVER EVER have kids....
look at the floor...
maybe they won't notice
did you say something?
of course not...i'm invisible
or at least to you i am...
i wish they couldn't see me...
i hear the whispers...
hey isn't that that girl...
shutup please...i'm sorry...
i've been abandoned...isn't that enough hurt from you people?
walk down the hall...
take the plunge...
keep your head down...
and maybe no one will say anything today...
of course not...
i have to be reminded everyday of my life...
you walk by my locker...her hand in yours...
and she looks at me and whispers in your ear...
why don't you just kill me...
well...i guess this is close enough...
i have no spirit...
you've broken my spirit...
my soul is a blackhole of sorrow...
and its all because of you...
i wish you still felt the way that you used to...
when we were happy...
when we were in love...
when you cared...
behind the bars...
i've made them myself...
it's no one's fault but mine you say...
but i beg to differ...
it's YOUR fault...
push me down once i try to stand...
tell me i'm nothing...
and for a while...i believed that was true...
but a flicker of hope...
happened upon me today...
and made me think...
ARE YOU WORTH THIS HELL?...
well the answer is yes...oddly enough
i love you more than comprehension...
but...
you beg to differ...
you turn your back...
and push me in to the depths of hell from which i learned to hate...
and maybe...
you'll feel the same some day...
but for now..
i bask in sorrow...
and hope for the best...
and grasp...
my little flicker of hope...
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