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2004 10 February :: 3.50 pm
well well i hate the scar on my lip...i feel like my lips look odd...i dont knwo where this came from...but it just came to head
i want to download this song...i will once i get on the other comp..hehe
the julianna theory - august in bethany
With the sound of the ocean crashing,
7:30 Friday evening,
Everything comes tumbling down
I choke back each tear that bleeds,
I'd rather rest forever in your arms
I'd rather stay here, than go,
But I know that I should leave
As I sit here helpless
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you wouldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you couldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you wouldn't
(Don't go) You said you wouldn't, You said you couldn't
I think of our time together,
Is it fading, or am I dreaming?
Everything you said lives on
I cherish our memories
I wanna kiss your tears away tonight
It's hard to give up the one you never thought you'd leave
Don't go
Don't go
Your eyes, they see through my soul
Don't go
Don't go
You say as I walk out your door
With the sound of the ocean crashing,
7:30 Friday evening,
Everything comes tumbling down
marilyn manson - the last day on earthYesterday was a million years ago
In all my past lives I played an asshole
Now I found you, it's almost too late
And this earth seems obliviating
We are trembling in our crutches
High and dead our skin is glass
I'm so empty here without you
I crack my xerox hands
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye
The dogs slaughter each other softly
Love burns it's casualties
We are damaged provider modules
Spill the seeds at our children's feet
I'm so empty here without you
I know they want me dead
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye
2 Crushed ME |
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2004 9 February :: 6.03 pm
man im the happest lil girl in the world...i talked to thaimi for like almost two hours till my phone went dowmn...she might come over this weekend...and i have marcos...and just yey!...i could die right now and ill be happy...but i cant cause i jsut cant things are going good...also its not cancer...my grandmother doesnt have cancer its just a really bad infection and alex is here right now...so i have to go..i got to entertain...i missed him..i remember last x-mas when me and him started talkingagain...well gtg bye bye bye bye MUAH
Crush ME |
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2004 8 February :: 8.53 pm
well well well...donna's first entry in a long time...and im actually realyl happy and free as you guys read from my other entry...im just like whoa right nowl...infacturated(sp) with life...i mean seriously its odd...i can be soo negative and hateful and angry for soo long and forget taht it does get better...and it does...its like wow...i lost a friend but i gained one...i lost carrie....but that doesnt matter does it...and i gained thaimi back...i mean we just talked a lil...even if we dont become friends again or anything...its nice having her again...being friendly...just its great...i missed her a bunch..we just been though a lot together...i just never had a friend like her...so then i have marcos too...i know he likes me and i know i like him...and its just really good...he waited for me to be ready and that just made me respect him and stuff...i just know he is a great guy...i will end up hurt i bet and i will end up emo at times...but hey thats the risk you take with stuff...and its worth it...wow things make sooo much sense right now...hehe...wow...donna is being soo dorky...i feel too right now.....im the only happy one in my family...because everyone is sad about my grandmother...oh yea i havent told you guys.,...her mass in her lung has gotten larger and they(docters) found spots on her lungs...so they are taking tests tomorrow and there is a huge chance its cancer...so my grandmotehr has lung cancer and basically only has a few years to live...becuase most people dont survive from lung cancer....80% of them die....so hopefully my grandmother is one of lucky to live....man i hope so i lover her so much and i worry about my grandfather...he is like my dad since my dad is an ass and dosnt care so i at least have my poppie hehe...right now im just denying it all....but its okay...i have to be strong for my mommy...since my dad has no sympahty and is treating her like shit....man i wish i could kill him.....i would with my bare hands...but jail...i dont want to be a virgin to guys and then be raped daily by woman...hehe great thinking for donna...go me...then jerrica man she is awesome...she is my turtle lover...then hmmm...i need to cheer up puja...got some things to do tomorrow.....yey...and then im mad too....driggers cheated on nessa...yes...she should have known if he cheated on me with her...but whatever...thats gay...hehe oh wellz...its all good...v-day is sat and i finally have someone for once in my life....and so sat we are all going out for like a v-day thingy..me and jerrica and everyone else...it will be very fun hopefully...brrrrrr im cold...someone warm me up...where is he when i need him...hehe awww....i dont think ill let him read my journal..oh wellz...i just cant stand people....whosh poor rotc lost i think....oh wellz ill find out tomorrow....i watched rotc pratice thursday afternoon and they were like whoa...i could never do that stuff...well im a sissy...hehe not really....i gave my sister a hicky...hehe i got a lil umm i cant say...so ya i kept biting her back and gave her a hicky...so yea.....well i got to go....bye bye my luvs...you are all great....muah!!!...bye bye !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2004 8 February :: 11.01 am
giving youself time after things happening does help...thanx for the advice...whoever told me that...i havent felt so happy and free in so long...it feels really nice :-)
2 Crushed ME |
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2004 7 February :: 2.27 pm
i like my horoscope today:
Don't try and fight it. There's no need to stick around this place any longer. Keep your back to the wind and let it take you where it wants to. You won't always know where you are going to end up, but that's the best part.
Crush ME |
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2004 3 February :: 5.33 pm
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2004 1 February :: 8.28 pm
arg fuck all of you....i hate poeple...why do they use me as a punching bag...like when they are all in a bad mood htey tack it out on me...omg fuck guys....they are soo pmsing right now
6 Crushed ME |
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2004 1 February :: 3.21 pm
I can hear your heart slowly breaking before me. I love it...I love to hear you in pain. To know your killing. That my words can bring you down you knees. All this time I was the one at fault...I was the one who fucked up in your eyes. The times you tied me up, beat me to the floor and screaming my faults. Who needs who now?! Maybe you didn't notice all these fucking bruises the first time, I hope you do now! I need you to crawl...How fucking dare you make me look like its my fault once again? Dare you! I'm so fucking sick of your lies...so sick of your abuse. All those times I begged for you not to, you did it anyway...because you’re the one always on top and the one who’s always the boss. Damn you...Now it's my time...my time to see you fucking crawl...I know you'll make me pay for this like always...but right now...my time...never mind my karma...
I see: pain
I need: answers
I want: to find what im missing
I have: no-one
I love: things way too much
I hate: this world
I miss: my childhood
I fear: lonelyness
I feel: emotionally tired
I hear: tv
I smell: food
I crave: some happiness
I wonder: what im missing
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last cigarette: omg yuckyness
last car ride: mall to me casa
last good cry: i dont remember its been awhile
last library book checked out: white orleandor
last movie seen: bingo
last book read: umm something
last cuss word uttered: i dont knw
last beverage drank: chocolate milk
last food consumed: pringles
last crush: ummm daniel
last phone call: this morning with carrie
last tv show watched: even stevens
last time showered: few hours ago
last shoes worn: converse
last cd played: finch
last item bought: american eagle
last downloaded: something for my sister
last annoyance: sister
last disappointment: hmm life
last soda drank: eww
last thing written: song/poem
last key used: car
last word spoken: my head hurts
last sleep: umm i took a nap
last im: carrie
last ice cream eaten: rasperry sherbert
last time amused: carrie did that today
last time wanting to die: yesterday
last time in love: umm awhile back
last time hugged: this morning
last chair sat in: the one im in right now
last lipstick used: lip gloss strawberry
last bra worn: this wite one thats on
last shirt worn: im not wearing a shirt right now...its a tank top
last webpage visited: ummm my journal
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1.who are you? a dumbass
2.what are you doing while filling this thingy out? thinking about gay stuff
3.why are you filling this out? cause it was on a friends journal entry
4.what room are you in? my sisters
5.who is your bf/gf? daniel
6.where were you born? here in the good ol florida
7.how old are your parents? umm old
8.current music? none
9.one thing u would change about yourself? everything
10.how are you today? dazed and lost...hmm same thing almost
11.what did you do today? umm comp, nap, comp, and another nap...no point on being awake
12.what time is it? 3:09
13.what time did you get up this morning? 10
14.did you eat breakfast? yes
15.if so, what did you eat? pancakes
16.what did u eat for lunch? ice cream
17.who is your fav rock band? umm finch, blink 182, ataris, all american rejects, and a bunch more
18.who is your fav rapper? umm no
19. would you like to sleep with someone that goes to your school? sure if they got me drunk
GET SCARED EASILY? yes
CRY A LOT? not really
GET HURT EASILY? sort of depends from who
HAVE AN ENEMY? yea actually a few
SAVE YOUR ASSINGMENTS FOR THE LAST MINUTE? yup cant help it
PRETEND YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT A CERTAIN PERSON BUT YOU ACTUALLY DO? yes i do that too often
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? hell the fuck no...all i know i better do something good
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2004 1 February :: 10.38 am
i think im staying here on woohu...im not sure...im indisive...but hey ill have two journals...thats okay...it will work...ill write later
IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE BY TONIC
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Well you got your reasons
And you got your lies
And you got your manipulations
They cut me down to size
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Seems the road less traveled
Shows happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
That's what you gotta do
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about or love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Crush ME |
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2004 31 January :: 9.49 pm
everyone join http://www.caleida.com/ becuase my new journal is there...i will update you all later....bye bye
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